Your fine Editor in Chief had no intention to play upon the worn out words of "April Fool's Day", no sir. Not until I received the contribution for this month's weather journal from the Mighty Broaduck himself. If his fine feathered mate reads his "deep and profound" message I doubt if Broaduck will ever get a peck (or a poke) again. He is indeed, the biggest April Fool I have ever met.
April was dry and windy; so dry the desert set a record for low humidity and dew points. Some days were in the single digits. Sadly with these conditions comes the fire season. There were several reports in April of fires in the West, including this beloved state of Arizona. As cold fronts pass to the north of thist state, eventually wreaking havoc in the Midwest and South we are left with windy, dry weather. Fortunately this keeps temperatures down. The Land did not experience the first ninety degree temperature of the season until April 13th. As of this writing there have been no one hundred degree days.
The beginning of the month saw an average temperature on The Land of 69.88 degrees. The end of the month reading was 80.50 degrees. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill recorded 48 degrees and 53 degrees at the end of the month.
The average humidity at The Land was 17.75 percent. The dewpoint was 18.59 degrees. Dry as a proverbial bone in the sun baked desert.
The average wind speed was 6.92 mph. There were five recorded wind chills in the month of April.
Again, for another month there was no rainfall at all in the desert. The last rain at The Land was on February 17th. The total for the year stands at just 1.36 inches.
4-1. Funnel clouds in Texas cause serious damage. Snow in Wisconsin and Minnesota. Thirty mph winds in northern Arizona.
4-2. Changing climate among NATO's latest security concerns. Forty mph winds in Showlow.
4-3. Six inches of rain in Kentucky. Twisters in Arkansas and Missouri. Thousands without power. Rain for two days in Mephis. Rain as far north as New England. Skunk found infected with rabies in Pinal County, 6th this year. Active fire season predicted for Arizona this year, as bad as 2005. Local news weather temperature predictions daily have a five degree spread. This is due to rising temperatures in Phoenix vs. the open deserts.
4-5. Nevada flooding prompts experts to research canal stability in the West. Snow in Montana. Thousands of dead birds floating up on the banks of the Great Salt Lake. Four to seven inches of snow in Minnesota. Trout in the desert as fifteen hundred rainbow trout are released into the lower Salt River. With a water temperature of 54 degrees stocking will take place every two weeks until mid June.
4-6. First snake spotting at The Land by Beck Peck! Six foot bull snake guaranteed to scare all!
4-7. Two million tons of sand transported in last month's man made Grand Canyon flood below Glen Canyon dam. New beaches are created. Scientists removing Mohave Desert tortoises to make way for expanding military activity. The high was 81 degrees in Phoenix today. The record high was 104 degrees in 1989.
4-8. Red flag warning issued in Mohave County. Air particulate advisory issued today and tomorrow for metro Phoenix area. Wind gusts up to thirty five mph. The record high was 104 degrees in 1989. The record low was 39 degrees in 1929. No measurable rain in 44 days. Fierce flooding in Peru. Damage to three hundred homes and two schools.
4-9. Winslow winds recorded at fifty four mph.
4-10.Flash flooding in Arkansas. Twelve twisters in the past week. Golf ball size hail. Record releases from dams on the White Rver to protect them from collapsing. Storms close two hundred roads in Missouri. Parts of Texas damaged by flooding. Blizzard warnings posted in Bismark, North Dakota with 45mph winds. The record high in Phoenix was 100 degrees in 1989. The record low was 35 degrees in 1922.
4-11. Up to two feet of snow in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Wildfires in Texas consume five thousand acres.
4-12. Record high in the Valley of the Sun was 99 degrees in 1936. The record low was 40 degrees in 1967.
4-13. 101 degrees in Yuma. First ninety degree day in Phoenix since last November. The record high was 99 degrees in '02. The record low was 39 degrees in 1927.
4-14. Severe flooding in portions of Washington state. "Cars swept away like paper." Flood debris twelve feet above some roadways. Red flag warning issued for entire state of Arizona. A red flag warning is defined as three consecutive hours of wind speeds over twenty mph with single digit humidity. 40-50 mph winds in portions of state. The record high on this date was 103 in 1925 and a 40 degree low in 1945.
4-15. Six die, one rescued in raging New Zealand rivers. Wild bear killed on Swiss Government orders after losing fear of humans. Three percent humidity with a dew point of one degree in most of Arizona. Red flag warning still in effect. Showlow winds peak at 50mph.
4-16. Three seperate wildfires in Colorado fueled by wind. One has grown to one thousand acres. Three killed. Twenty five degrees in Denver with snow. The high there yesterday was in the mid seventies. Man in Texas pulled over for an illegal u-turn. A six foot live alligator was found in the back seat. Man said he was taking 'gator to a friend's pond. Man arrested for insanity. Peak wind gusts in Phoenix 40mph. The record high was 104 degrees in 1984 and 40 degrees was the low in 1924.
4-17. Eleven degrees at the Grand Canyon. Twenty degrees cooler in Phoenix than three days ago. New Mexico Govenor threatens to fight Gila River diversion. Gila placed on endangered river list. Wildfire in West Texas burns four homes. Heavy flooding in Wisconsin. Temperatures in Asia raised world land temperatures ot record levels. Decision to be made in ten weeks if polar bears receive Federal protection. Barbary apes to be killed after harassing tourists. Same temperature today in Phoenix and Albany, New York. The record high in Phoenix was 100 degrees in 1987. The record low was 38 degrees in 1924.
4-18. Typhoon weakens as it hits the Coast of China. Much drier in Arizona deserts than twenty years ago. Desert fires were almost unheard of. Non native grasses are the cause. Red flag warning posted for Northern Arizona.
4-19. Wildfire in SE Arizona along Mexico border. Toddler in critical condition as high winds blow stroller in Lake Michigan. Ten inches of snow in western Washington. Asian Typhoon slams Hong Kong.
4-20. Alamo fire in SE Arizona reaches four thousand acres and burning on both sides of border. Human caused. Tornado in N. Carolina. Moose heards in NW Minnesota dwindle from four thousand in 1984 to one hundred in 2008. Scientists blame global warming. Locals believe it is a natural trend. 105 degrees was the record high in Phx. in 1989. The record low was 38 in 1933.
4-21. Alamo fire up to five thousand acres. Forty percent contained. "Trained'' Grizzly kills trainer in California. Scientists are studying haze from melting ice in North Alaska.Scientists say link between smog and premature deaths. ( You think? What a brilliant fucking conclusion.) TODAY IS EARTH DAY! HAYDUKE LIVES!
4-22. Snow advisory for Sierra Nevada and Cascades. Snow levels down to 4500 ft.
4-23. Second high pollution advisory issued for Phoenix this week. High winds and particulates (dust) to blame.
4-24. Balding penguin with wet suit gets back into the swim of things. ( I swear, I don't make this shit up.) Hazy skies in Anchorage from fires is Russia and sandstorms in Angolla. Study says humans may have faced near extinction from drought seventy thousand years ago. Officials say Oregon sea lions can be trapped but not killed.(?)
4-25. Fatal shark attack in San Diego. Man was swimming with group in triatholon. Eight miles of beaches closed. Speculation of a Great White. Brush fire in Florida burns eighty acres and people forced from their homes. Scientists say New Zealand glacier shrinking at alarming rate. DNA from dinasours links to modern day chickens.(That must include ducks!.) Winter storm warnings for Minnesota, S. Dakota and Michigan.
4-26. Eagle fire in Apache Sitgraves Forest is at 2500 acres and seventy five percent contained. Beehive fire near Mexico border. Fire watch for south and south east part of Arizona. Wind gusts up to thrity five mph. San Diego beaches still closed for shark hunt. "Vog" over Hawaii, a combination of volcanic ash and fog. (You read it first here at Blue Duck Weather News!) Up to fifteen inches of snow and heavy winds in Minnesota. The record high in Phoenix was 101 degrees in 1992 and the record low was 42 degrees in 1984.
4-27. Hundreds of residents flee from fire in the foothills East of Los Angeles. Record low humidity in Phoenix of 2% with a dewpoint of 7 degrees. The record high was 104 degrees in 1992. The record low was 40 degrees in 1975.
4-28. S.E. Az. fire conditions worst in twenty five years. Dry fuel conditions usually typical of June. Fire ban coming soon for Arizona County parks. Severe storms in Virginia kill one. Three tornados spotted in S.W. Virgina. Golf ball diver in Florida fights with alligator. Congo gorillas being killed off by poachers, war and logging. Record high in the desert was 104 degrees in 1992 and 45 degrees in 1898.
4-29. National Weather Service reports six seperate tornados touched down in Virginia yesterday. "Super Cells" left a twenty three mile path of destruction. No deaths were reported but Govenor reports "state of emergency." Fire watch issued for the Valley of the Sun. X fire burning N.W. of Flagstaff. Fifteen hundred acres consumed. State wide humidity in single digits. Record high 105 degrees in 1992. Record low 43 degrees in 1970. One thousand pound squid corpse found.
4-30. Wildfire near Grand Canyon sixty percent contained. Abandoned campfire blamed and three Texans arrested. St. John's River flooding in Maine, chasing residents from their homes. San Francisco tourist killed by Gray shark while surfing in Mexico. More grizzlies found in Anchorage than earlier thought.
As this amazing weather journal concludes I hope you have noticed an unannounced inclusion of valley record highs and lows. Your amazing staff at Blue Duck Weather will continue to include them on random days of the month. Our desire is to show you, as pointed out many times by your brilliant Editor in Chief, the record lows happened at a much earlier date in history than the record highs of the last twenty years. For whatever reason the low temperatures are creeping upward and actually have a more dramatic impact on ''average" temperatures than the high readings.
So, as promised or threatened, i will leave you with the Fool's quote of the month submitted by the Mighty Broaduck. "It's Spring time and love is in the air so here are a few things to help ducks get through another year. (He wrote people but I have free editing rights.) 1. Never tell your wife she kisses better than her sister. Although it is a compliment it is a gauranteed way to end up on the couch for the evening. 2. When your wife refers to her younger years neve chime in with "Oh, you mean when you were fun?" 3. And lastly, if you are ever asked if something makes her look heavy it is best to fake a seizure and fall to the floor." And you wonder why he is paid so poorly? At this rate he won't get a roll of toilet paper, let alone the fantastic t-shirts coming by the beautiful Mrs. Blueduck.
There are two songs for this month, both composed by a brilliant black duck by the name of James Marshall Hendrix; "The Wind Crys Mary" and "Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire."
