December Weather News 2008!
Old Man Winter did not wait until December 21st to arrive to many parts of the world. He came through the door with no apologies dragging in ice, mud and duck shit. He laughed that putrid cold laugh down our shirts and pants, up skirts and pissed on all of the leaky roofs he could find. The old Fart dragged snow across trails and roads trying to be the sneaky bastard he is. He knocked down power poles just so he could laugh at us huddled in some dark corner of some dark house with our breath freezing as we exhaled. He knows when he has us by the shriveled up balls.
In this amazing edition of Blueduck Weather News we shall more closely examine the effects of wind chill. It is my firm belief that wind chill, to a certain degree has much more of a psychological impact than a physical one, especially at milder temperatures. I will be the last one to argue that a wind chill of forty below zero will not make you a dead man’s friend.
However, a twelve mph wind at fifty degrees equates to a temperature of forty five degrees. A ten mph wind at sixty six degrees only drops the temperature two degrees. But if feels much colder. As one watches the beer cans rolling down the road, and the tumble weeds heading for you like some abstract wheel propelled off of a broken axle you begin to feel lonely and out of place and your inner core begins to cool even more because the mind is telling the body “fuck you, I want to climb under a blanket.”
Wind chills at temperatures below freezing can be deadly. Once thirty two degrees has been achieved each one mph wind adds one degree of chill to the air. So, in the next couple of months before the wind chill turns into a blast furnace in the desert your fine staff at Blueduck Weather will report relative chill to actual temperatures as they occur at The Land and elsewhere. With that bunch of horseshit let’s get to the amazing weather statistics compiled by your tireless staff at BlueDuck Weather News!
The average temperature at The Land was 6.5 degrees cooler at the end of December than the beginning. It was seven degrees cooler at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. The average temperature on December 28th for the entire day at The Land was 38.50 degrees with a low of 28 degrees. The average temperature on December 26th at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 17.50 degrees with a low of 9 degrees. (ooshy!.)
The average temperature for the month at The Land was 51.67 mild degrees. The average temperature for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 31.67 degrees.
The average Humidity at The Land was 55.38 %. The average dew point was 34.77 degrees.
The average wind speed was 2.69 degrees. (Not much of a wind chill, unless of course, you stand outside naked and dump a bucket of water over your head!)
The Land saw 1.02 inches of rain for the month finishing the year with 7.76 inches of rain. The good old Valley of the Sun finished up with 9.53 inches of rain, both much ahead of the average amounts of rainfall in the desert for a year. There were nine days of measureable rainfall at The Land in December, quite impressive.
Lake Powell finished the year at 57% full. Lake Mead is at 45% empty, Pleasant holds at 58% and our loving Roosevelt Lake stands at 90%. This fine lake overcame the flushing of millions of toilets downstream!
12-01. There was morning fog in the southeast valley. The hurricane season ends on 12-07 and blows away all records.
Old Man Winter did not wait until December 21st to arrive to many parts of the world. He came through the door with no apologies dragging in ice, mud and duck shit. He laughed that putrid cold laugh down our shirts and pants, up skirts and pissed on all of the leaky roofs he could find. The old Fart dragged snow across trails and roads trying to be the sneaky bastard he is. He knocked down power poles just so he could laugh at us huddled in some dark corner of some dark house with our breath freezing as we exhaled. He knows when he has us by the shriveled up balls.
In this amazing edition of Blueduck Weather News we shall more closely examine the effects of wind chill. It is my firm belief that wind chill, to a certain degree has much more of a psychological impact than a physical one, especially at milder temperatures. I will be the last one to argue that a wind chill of forty below zero will not make you a dead man’s friend.
However, a twelve mph wind at fifty degrees equates to a temperature of forty five degrees. A ten mph wind at sixty six degrees only drops the temperature two degrees. But if feels much colder. As one watches the beer cans rolling down the road, and the tumble weeds heading for you like some abstract wheel propelled off of a broken axle you begin to feel lonely and out of place and your inner core begins to cool even more because the mind is telling the body “fuck you, I want to climb under a blanket.”
Wind chills at temperatures below freezing can be deadly. Once thirty two degrees has been achieved each one mph wind adds one degree of chill to the air. So, in the next couple of months before the wind chill turns into a blast furnace in the desert your fine staff at Blueduck Weather will report relative chill to actual temperatures as they occur at The Land and elsewhere. With that bunch of horseshit let’s get to the amazing weather statistics compiled by your tireless staff at BlueDuck Weather News!
The average temperature at The Land was 6.5 degrees cooler at the end of December than the beginning. It was seven degrees cooler at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. The average temperature on December 28th for the entire day at The Land was 38.50 degrees with a low of 28 degrees. The average temperature on December 26th at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 17.50 degrees with a low of 9 degrees. (ooshy!.)
The average temperature for the month at The Land was 51.67 mild degrees. The average temperature for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 31.67 degrees.
The average Humidity at The Land was 55.38 %. The average dew point was 34.77 degrees.
The average wind speed was 2.69 degrees. (Not much of a wind chill, unless of course, you stand outside naked and dump a bucket of water over your head!)
The Land saw 1.02 inches of rain for the month finishing the year with 7.76 inches of rain. The good old Valley of the Sun finished up with 9.53 inches of rain, both much ahead of the average amounts of rainfall in the desert for a year. There were nine days of measureable rainfall at The Land in December, quite impressive.
Lake Powell finished the year at 57% full. Lake Mead is at 45% empty, Pleasant holds at 58% and our loving Roosevelt Lake stands at 90%. This fine lake overcame the flushing of millions of toilets downstream!
12-01. There was morning fog in the southeast valley. The hurricane season ends on 12-07 and blows away all records.
Never before in history have six consecutive storms struck U.S. mainland. This was the first time a hurricane formed in five consecutive months. Longest lived storm, Bertha remained active for seventeen days. Hurricane Fay hit Florida four times. A record for Cuba as three hurricanes pounded the island. Severe flooding in Venice, Italy with 22’ storm surges. Brazil rescuers search for flood victims, one hundred and fourteen dead and nineteen missing. Eighty thousand flee flooding and mudslides.
Mexican Garter snake, once prevalent in Arizona placed on Endangered Species List.
The Island fox in California has made a ten year recovery from extinction and has grown from sixteen to six hundred and fifty.
Wounded deer attacks Missouri deer hunter who shot it.
12-02. Second day of high tide in Venice, worst in twenty years. Brazil President asks God to halt devastating rains.
12-03. Brazil working hard to open international sea ports that are vital to economy. One hundred and sixteen lives lost in the Santa Catarina region due to flooding.
Eight pound bass caught while fishing yields class ring that was missing for twenty one years. It was posted on the internet and the original owner found it.
12-04. 6 degrees in Duluth, Minnesota, 18 degrees in Chicago.
Pennsylvania pizzeria will not be serving venison on pizza although cook was caught carving deer in restaurant kitchen.
12-05. Portions of Santa Cruz River in Arizona receives top priority protection.
Girl on Oregon beach swept away by huge wave just as boyfriend ready to propose.
Obese dog found frozen to sidewalk survives because of body fat. Owner accused of animal cruelty (for what, letting it get stuck to a fucking sidewalk or for being so fat?)
12-06. Officials probe mysterious coyote deaths in Sun City Arizona.
12-07. winter snow advisories for Flagstaff, the Rim and snow above 6800’.
1998 was the warmest year on the planet. 2008 the coolest year in ten.
12-09. Freeze warning issued for southeast Pima and Pinal counties.
12-02. Second day of high tide in Venice, worst in twenty years. Brazil President asks God to halt devastating rains.
12-03. Brazil working hard to open international sea ports that are vital to economy. One hundred and sixteen lives lost in the Santa Catarina region due to flooding.
Eight pound bass caught while fishing yields class ring that was missing for twenty one years. It was posted on the internet and the original owner found it.
12-04. 6 degrees in Duluth, Minnesota, 18 degrees in Chicago.
Pennsylvania pizzeria will not be serving venison on pizza although cook was caught carving deer in restaurant kitchen.
12-05. Portions of Santa Cruz River in Arizona receives top priority protection.
Girl on Oregon beach swept away by huge wave just as boyfriend ready to propose.
Obese dog found frozen to sidewalk survives because of body fat. Owner accused of animal cruelty (for what, letting it get stuck to a fucking sidewalk or for being so fat?)
12-06. Officials probe mysterious coyote deaths in Sun City Arizona.
12-07. winter snow advisories for Flagstaff, the Rim and snow above 6800’.
1998 was the warmest year on the planet. 2008 the coolest year in ten.
12-09. Freeze warning issued for southeast Pima and Pinal counties.
Powerful storms knock out power to seven thousand homes in north Texas and unofficial reports of tornado activity.
New brush fire north of Los Angeles in Thousand Oaks.
Wet and windy weather for the Mid West.
New brush fire north of Los Angeles in Thousand Oaks.
Wet and windy weather for the Mid West.
Man cited for jumping into the black rhino pit at the San Francisco zoo.
12-11. Rare snowfall covers southern Louisiana and Mississippi with snow in New Orleans. Eight inches of snow in some areas and only the eighth time it has snowed in sixty years.
12-12. Wind advisory for north east Arizona with 50mph winds. Snow levels will be down to six thousand feet by 12-14.
North East ice storm leaves one and a half million people without power.
Thousands of farm jobs vanish from California drought.
Four dead as rains pound Rome. A state of emergency is issued and hundreds are evacuated.
12-11. Rare snowfall covers southern Louisiana and Mississippi with snow in New Orleans. Eight inches of snow in some areas and only the eighth time it has snowed in sixty years.
12-12. Wind advisory for north east Arizona with 50mph winds. Snow levels will be down to six thousand feet by 12-14.
North East ice storm leaves one and a half million people without power.
Thousands of farm jobs vanish from California drought.
Four dead as rains pound Rome. A state of emergency is issued and hundreds are evacuated.
Fed up Pennsylvania man sprays teens with fox urine as they try to toilet paper his home.
12-13. Peak wind gusts at Flagstaff recorded at 61 mph. Snow level drops to five thousand feet.
12-13. Peak wind gusts at Flagstaff recorded at 61 mph. Snow level drops to five thousand feet.
Huge swarms of stinging jellyfish are ruining beaches in Hawaii, Gulf of Mexico and Australia.
12-14. Fifty five auto accidents on I-40 near Flagstaff due to snow and ice, three inches of snow.
12-15. Winter weather advisory posted for the White Mountains in eastern Arizona.
12-14. Fifty five auto accidents on I-40 near Flagstaff due to snow and ice, three inches of snow.
12-15. Winter weather advisory posted for the White Mountains in eastern Arizona.
Four hundred and twenty three thousand people still without power in the North East due to earlier ice storms. President Bush declares state of emergency in New Hampshire, Massachusetts and New York.
Blizzard conditions in the Dakotas with a wind chill of thirty five degrees below zero.
A one hundred degree temperature difference in twenty four hours was reported near Cascade, Montana; from forty eight degrees to minus forty eight.
Snow in Las Vegas and the main route between Vegas and Los Angeles. Southern California evacuates because of heavy rains and possible mud slides from effects of recent fires.
Snow in Las Vegas and the main route between Vegas and Los Angeles. Southern California evacuates because of heavy rains and possible mud slides from effects of recent fires.
School roof collapses from rain in Southern California and seven are injured.
12-16. Winter storm watch posted for south east Arizona above 5500’. 8-12 inches of snow expected. The high was lower than the low at The Land today. No, this line was not taken from a Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard song called “Reasons to Quit.”
12-16. Winter storm watch posted for south east Arizona above 5500’. 8-12 inches of snow expected. The high was lower than the low at The Land today. No, this line was not taken from a Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard song called “Reasons to Quit.”
Two trillion tons of sea ice has melted in Greenland, Antarctica and Alaska since 2004 according to NASA.
Orangutan wears Santa suit for promotion in Manila.
12-17. Flood watch posted for Phoenix metro area. Five inches of snow in Kingman. Eight to fifteen inches of snow above seven thousand feet. Fifteen inches of snow on the ground in Flagstaff.
Two missing in snow covered forest rescued. The guide for serious freeze damage in the desert is four consecutive hours of twenty eight degrees or below. So far this fall no freezing temperatures in the Valley.
Winter storm spreads over much of the nation. Twenty degrees below zero in the Northern Plains. Freezing rain and sleet from Kansas, the Ohio Valley and up to Maine.
Fourteen dead from storms.
12-18. Freeze advisory for southern Arizona from two a.m. to nine a.m. Record three inches of snow in Las Vegas and the airport closed for twenty four hours because the Vegas airport does not have a snow plow. San Bernardino Mountains in California near Malibu has a dusting of snow.
12-18. Freeze advisory for southern Arizona from two a.m. to nine a.m. Record three inches of snow in Las Vegas and the airport closed for twenty four hours because the Vegas airport does not have a snow plow. San Bernardino Mountains in California near Malibu has a dusting of snow.
Twenty one people rescued along the Tijuana River near the California, Mexico borders.
Three young women found dead in car near Squaw Valley ski resort in California. They slept in the car with the heater on and the engine running. The exhaust pipe was blocked with snow and carbon monoxide gas got into the enclosed car.
China pet owners protest restaurants that place dogs and cats on the menu. (As long as ducks aren’t posted fuck the dogs and cats.)
12-19. Powerful winter storm with snow and freezing rain from Iowa to New England. The worst ice storm was in a band across northern Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. Two hundred and seventy thousand without power.
12-20. The drought is still severe in the South. Lake Hartwell on the Georgia, S. Carolina border is thirty five feet below normal and going dry. Second weekend of snow for the North East. Thirty percent of the homes in Boston are without power.
Seattle hasn’t seen this much snow since 1974.
A rare occurrence in the animal world was witnessed by yours truly today. I was chopping kindling in the yard when I heard an electrical buzz. I looked up to see an electrocuted pigeon fall with a thud to the ground. Apparently the dumb ass was sitting on the high line wires and somehow grounded him. Immediately a hawk was perched on top of him looking in all directions for no other predators. Finally he struggled to get in the air with the pigeon between his talons but he was having a hard time gaining altitude or elevation with the weight of the pigeon, the hawk finally took flight like an overweight plane, off to feast on his find.
I have a close friend, an otherwise compassionate duck, who shoots pigeons with wild glee. All they do is shit everywhere and have shit for brains. I applaud my friend. We both hold the hawk in high regard but would love to eliminate the inbred pigeon.
12-21. First day of Winter and the first freeze at The Land.
Two degrees at the Grand Canyon. Desert winds blow arsenic clouds from mines with 460,000 times the “safe level” in Randsburg, California.
Two feet of snow in Washington state and snow falls in the Midwest and Northeast. Residents of Portland, Oregon skiing on the streets.
12-22. Snow above 6500’ in Arizona. So far this season Flagstaff has 55’’ of snow. Maine town gets three and a half feet of snow.
More than fifty days of nonstop rain in portions of Italy. Rome received more rain in one day than an average month.
Two feet of snow in Washington state and snow falls in the Midwest and Northeast. Residents of Portland, Oregon skiing on the streets.
12-22. Snow above 6500’ in Arizona. So far this season Flagstaff has 55’’ of snow. Maine town gets three and a half feet of snow.
More than fifty days of nonstop rain in portions of Italy. Rome received more rain in one day than an average month.
The weight of five inches of pigeon shit mixed with rain collapses a gas station awning in Yuma, Arizona. (I swear, I don’t make this shit up!)
“Lonely” man jumps into polar bear cage. Keeper lures bear away from the man with a leg of beef.
12-23. Snow level in Phoenix may drop down to two thousand feet by 12-26.
12-23. Snow level in Phoenix may drop down to two thousand feet by 12-26.
Ten below in Chicago.
Massachusetts man using blow torch to melt snow on porch sets house on fire causing thirty thousand dollars of damage.
Pig rescued from a tree in Florida. (I knew pigs could fly but I had no idea they flew and roosted in trees.)
12-24. Storm watches posted in Arizona until 12-26. Avalanche kills two snowmobilers in northern Utah.
12-25. First measurable rain in the Valley of the Sun in fourteen years.
Highly confidential intelligence reports a blue duck riding on Rudolph’s head.
12-26. Snow flurries in Cave Creek, Arizona and a freeze warning is issued for the Valley. Storm covers the West with snow and ice glazes the Midwest. Storm warnings posted for Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Wyoming. A blizzard warning covers the mountains of southwest Colorado. Utah Avalanche Center renews warnings against traveling in the mountain’s backcountry. Spokane, Washington has 46.2 inches of snow and a new record for December. Small tornados in Alabama cause damage.
Indonesia to honor 230,000 people killed by Tsunami in south Asia in 2004.
12-27. Freeze warning posted for the Phoenix metro area. Warmer weather could cause flooding following snow melt in the Midwest. Flood warnings posted for six states. Some areas receive two inches of rain in two hours. As warm air collides with cold air tornado watches posted for parts of Texas and Oklahoma.
12-28. High pollution advisory posted for Phoenix. Four hundred thousand without power in western New York as seventy five mph winds hammer the region. Six bodies recovered from Canada avalanches.
12-26. Snow flurries in Cave Creek, Arizona and a freeze warning is issued for the Valley. Storm covers the West with snow and ice glazes the Midwest. Storm warnings posted for Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Wyoming. A blizzard warning covers the mountains of southwest Colorado. Utah Avalanche Center renews warnings against traveling in the mountain’s backcountry. Spokane, Washington has 46.2 inches of snow and a new record for December. Small tornados in Alabama cause damage.
Indonesia to honor 230,000 people killed by Tsunami in south Asia in 2004.
12-27. Freeze warning posted for the Phoenix metro area. Warmer weather could cause flooding following snow melt in the Midwest. Flood warnings posted for six states. Some areas receive two inches of rain in two hours. As warm air collides with cold air tornado watches posted for parts of Texas and Oklahoma.
12-28. High pollution advisory posted for Phoenix. Four hundred thousand without power in western New York as seventy five mph winds hammer the region. Six bodies recovered from Canada avalanches.
Officials say Jell-O may eliminate lake trout in Yellowstone (?)
12-30. Five feet of snow this season in Spokane; collapses roofs. Thirteen year old snowmobiler killed in Utah avalanche. The eighth and final body was found Tuesday from a group of snowmobilers buried by weekend avalanches in western Canada’s backcountry.
12-31. Lucky two year old boy found alive in snowy Flagstaff woods.
12-30. Five feet of snow this season in Spokane; collapses roofs. Thirteen year old snowmobiler killed in Utah avalanche. The eighth and final body was found Tuesday from a group of snowmobilers buried by weekend avalanches in western Canada’s backcountry.
12-31. Lucky two year old boy found alive in snowy Flagstaff woods.
Virginia Priest killed by a falling tree in the wind.
And finally, a quote from a man in “Crazy moments of ’08 reads “Maybe if everyone had a duck in their life people wouldn’t be so angry.” Amen my faithful readers. (I swear we don’t make this shit up.) (Mrs. Blue duck thinks he is full of crap)
The quote of the month from the Mighty Broaduck is “Change can be for the better or worse. It all depends on what you do with it.” On a serious note please wish Mr. Broaduck the best of luck in these hard and perilous times.
The song of the month is “It Sure Got Cold After The Rain Fell” by ZZ Top.
Until next month and a new year reporting amazing weather facts, astonishing animal accounts, and stupid people segments, remember Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.
Professor MR Blueduck
