Wednesday, July 8, 2009

June 2009 Blue Duck Weather News




June 2009 Weather News!

The reason I began this fucking brilliant weather journal is my fascination with the unpredictable Mother Nature. (The other reason is I am insane and must have a “normal” way to express my insanity.)
Nature can wink at you with one eye and seduce you with perfect weather and blink the other eye and kill you. The killing part has to do with the ATV rider missing since January near Payson. (That’s right you read it here first!) His remains were found this month after five months missing; after the brilliant white glazed snow that had entombed him finally melted away. We can be fooled by the warmth of our camps, tents, cabins and camp trailers. We can think that modern “civilization” prevails over a silly thing called weather. But one bad turn and a series of wrong decisions can leave you a dead man’s friend in the wilderness, whether it is desert, mountains or water.

Another example of the unpredictability of Nature was May and June’s temperatures. As you know, because you fucking read it here first, May almost broke a record of consecutive one hundred degree days. June just missed a record, set way back in 1913, of consecutive days below one hundred degrees. But when the ball-searing heat of June finally set in we all wished we were dead. You will read more about one hundred degree days and above later in this great edition of BlueDuck Weather!

You can also find out in this monthly weather report when the new Monsoon season started and when the unofficial scientific version of the monsoon began, the intelligent version; the version that has to do with actual moisture in the air instead of some blubbering “all sizes fits all” theory that only helps the National Weather Service protect themselves if some idiot gets caught in a flooded wash and declares “but it ain’t monsoon season yet.”

Also read about the iron fist of the law and wildfires, an observation by yours truly regarding Road runners and Quail, a lightening survivor, animals and the recession, a growing glacier despite “global warming” and another observation from yours truly about windy weather and its affect on spring and summer temperatures in the desert. We shall now begin with the weather statistics that are sure to have you in a sleep like no drug can provide after thirty seconds of reading this nonsense.

The Land was twelve degrees warmer at the end of the month than the beginning. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was ten degrees warmer. And the torture I promised my faithful readers is as follows; in June Phoenix had five days over one hundred degrees, seven at one hundred and five or greater, and one 110 degree day. The Land with its blissful weather had seven days over one hundred degrees, three at or over one hundred and five degrees and no one hundred and ten degree days. God, it’s beautiful to live in Paradise.

The average temperature at The Land in June was 84.50 degrees. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 63.16 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was 22.73%. The average dew point was 40.75 degrees, starting to rise toward monsoon season territory.

The average wind speed was a remarkable 6.78 mph. This is the third month winds have almost met the criteria of our windiest month. It is my observation that winds equal overall cooler temperatures and it has nothing to do with wind chills because there aren’t any in the desert this time of year. It has to do with the jet stream and wind patterns over the state of Arizona. The big storms of the North and East just meant wind and cooler temperatures diving down to this hell hole.

There was no rain whatsoever at The Land. Even the fucking rattlesnakes are licking rocks!

The monthly report of the toilet bowl levels we call lakes are as follows; Mead is still dying at 41%, Powell is still coming up, despite the threats of the Monkey Wrench Gang, at 65%, Pleasant is 91% full and sure to contain boats and swimmers pissing and shitting in the water by the thousands, and Roosevelt stands at 96%.

6-1. Five fires in the Coronado National Forest are burning themselves out. (Mount Graham is blessed!)

Eight and a half months after Hurricane Ike slammed Texas, Galveston still struggling to recover. Ike was the third most destructive hurricane in U.S. history causing eleven billion dollars in damage to Texas alone.

6-2. There is a big worry for hurricane season this year. Pop up hurricanes may develop close to mid Atlantic U.S. shores instead of coming from Africa. Hurricane Alberto in 2007 went from a tropical depression to a category one hurricane in one day for this reason.

6-3. There is a Red Flag Warning posted for northern Arizona with wind gusts up to 30mph.

6-4- Another wind advisory is posted for northern Arizona.

There are storms with lightning from coast to coast in the U.S. There are two dead and seven hurt in California. One woman was killed as she walked her dog along a sidewalk in Fontana, California. The bolt blew out the bottom of her shoes and hurled clothing thirty feet. Two boys playing ball in Virginia were struck, one died.

6-5- A wind advisory and Red Flag Warning has been posted in northern and southern Arizona. Wind gusts of 52mph in Flagstaff.

A man was convicted of setting the Esperanza fire in southern California in 2006. The man is sentenced to death because the fire killed five fire fighters.

Yours truly had an interesting animal observation at The Land today. I saw a roadrunner with a baby quail in its beak. The bird would drop the chick onto the ground and peck at it until it was dead. The Roadrunner did not eat the quail or carry it off, the bird simply left. The only logical conclusion I can deduce is they were competing for bird seed that I had recently strewn about.

6-6- 51mph winds recorded in Winslow, Arizona.

Tornado touches down in Goshen, Wyoming.

6-7- Snow in parts of Wyoming.

Tornado rips through a shopping mall in near Denver, Colorado. There were five tornadoes reported in the state with heavy damage from ping pong size hail.

More animals in bad shape after being abandoned in foreclosed homes. One dog found, barely alive, has not eaten in three weeks. People who try to rescue animals from abandoned homes are technically trespassing.

6-8- Temperatures are twelve degrees below average in Phoenix. Three fires near the Grand Canyon caused by lightning strikes.

Man charged in the Lane 2 fire near Prescott two years ago for starting a signal fire.

The remains of a man missing near Payson since January are found; no cause of death determined.

The term micro- burst is only twenty years old and was discovered, in part, in Arizona. It is an “air bomb” within or a head of a storm with straight line winds in excess of 100 mph.

A fourteen year old boy in Oregon survives a one hundred and fifty thousand volt lightning strike. It entered through the right side of his head and exited his right foot. His sweat shirt was scorched and his shoe was melted to his foot. Except for possible skin grafts do to burns he appears to be okay.

6-10- Temperatures ten degrees below normal in Phoenix.

Torrential rains with heavy flooding in China kills fifty people.

6-11- Brush fire near the Beeline and Bush highways north of Phoenix.

Fog caused a chain reaction crash in a mountain pass near Los Angeles, fifteen hurt.

One year after Rapid City, Iowa was devastated by floods retired contractors donate time and knowledge to help rebuild city. For their help the city gave them back their contractor’s licenses. The devastation in this city is known as “Iowa’s Katrina”.

6-12- Powerful thunderstorms pound Texas and Nebraska with dime sized hail, 70 mph winds and six inches of rain in areas. There are two hundred and forty five thousand people without power.

6-13- Two fires near Sierra Vista, Arizona are 95% contained burning twenty seven hundred acres. Thunderstorms are reported in nearby Cochise County. There is a Red Flag Warning for northern Arizona with 35 mph winds and extremely low humidity.

6-14- Two fires are burning near Kaibab National Forest in northern Arizona.

Tornado warnings issued in Colorado with two inches of rain near Denver.

Glacier in Argentina is growing in size despite global warming.
Mrs. BD hopes Al Gore is reading this)
Estes Park, Colorado is becoming a popular tourist attraction for the thousands of
Elk that are gathering for the rut in this area.

6-15- Today is the new “official” first day of the monsoon season for Arizona. The “official end is September 15th. (Editor’s note; quite ironic that this day also is the eleventh day in a row of temperatures less than one hundred degrees.)

This could be the year “without a summer” for parts of the United States. Cooler weather along the Eastern Seaboard more like Scotland with cold weather since Memorial Day. In 1816 Pennsylvania lakes froze due to a volcanic eruption blocking the sun. According to meteorologists this a period of time where there was no summer that year.

6-16- The Western States Governor’s Association (fucking impressive title) three day meeting focuses, in part, on dwindling water supplies. “There is evidence of intensified water disputes, ecosystem collapse and a population growth that is driving a sometimes fractured water management system.” (A mouthful of fancy words just saying we are fucked up!)

Per the latest government study the affects of global warming are real and they are here. More rain is falling with less cold winters in Alaska. Some areas are seven degrees warmer than they were fifty years ago on average.

6-17- The White House issues a landmark climate report with the strongest language
Ever. In part the one hundred and ninety page report says emissions must be curbed. The average U.S. temperature could rise by eleven degrees by 2100. Lake Mead and Lake Powell may dry up by 2020. There are major disruptions already taking place and will only increase as warming continues.

Heavy rains today in Midwest, tornadoes in Colorado and hail in New Jersey.

6-18- Tornadoes and severe storms pound the Midwest. Damage is reported in Nebraska
And Minnesota. North Dakota, still recovering from spring flooding, received
Eight inches of rain in twenty four hours.

Flood prone Martin, Kentucky asks for federal aid to help raise businesses and homes. The Army Corps of Engineers say it will be a massive project and take ten years.
The town has flooded thirty seven times since 1862 with four floods in the last ten years.

Baseball size hail in Indiana.

6-19- There is a wildfire battle at Spur Crossing in Cave Creek, Arizona. Only five acres have burned but there are many homes in the area. A wind advisory is posted for Kingman, Arizona. At ten forty five p.m. today the official first day of summer arrives in Arizona.

Seventy two mph winds in Chicago with hail and heavy rain. With the repeated weather assault on the Midwest previously record low water levels in Lake Michigan are about at normal levels.

Britain releases new climate change report. “Experts” say London could face scorching heat waves late this century with summer temperatures raising 7.2 degrees.

The first tropical depression in the Pacific is south west of Mazatlan, Mexico. (This, my faithful readers, is the first sign that the monsoon season is on its way; not some convenient packaged predetermined date.)

6-20-Midwest power outages still exist after storms in Illinois, Michigan and Indiana. Northern Illinois had four inches of rain in twenty four hours.

The tornado season is less active this year so far. To date there have been eight hundred and thirty nine compared to one thousand three hundred and four sightings last year.

What does one hundred thousand alligators have to do with the economy? One of the largest alligator farms is in Louisiana. They sell skins to tanners who sell them to luxury designers. Not one hide has been sold since last November.

6-21- Three tornadoes in Michigan with eight inches of rain and flooding.

Another tropical depression forms in the Pacific off of Mexico. It could strengthen into a tropical storm.

6-22- Unseasonably cool weather reported by the National Weather Service in Arizona and New York. Phoenix almost tied the record for consecutive days under one hundred degrees and New York had the second wettest June on record.

Florida and Texas are experiencing record heat and Seattle, Washington is one inch below normal rain fall for this year.

Andres is the first named tropical storm of the season in the Pacific and could strengthen into a hurricane.

Sierra bears are thriving on a bumper crop of berries from recent wet weather and fewer encounters with campers and their trash due to the recession.

6-23- Entire central part of America under an extreme heat warning.

Mysterious bee decline of the last several years may be due to a pesticide developed and made in Germany. Bees pollinate one third of the world’s food crops.

Los Angeles (where else?) spent seven and a half million dollars to construct an exhibit at the zoo for the rare Chinese golden monkey. Now China won’t send the monkeys for display.

6-24- Ozone health advisory is issued for the Phoenix area. Today is the warmest temperature this year at one hundred and eight degrees. Heavy showers reported in Graham County. (Cleanse my beloved mountain!)

This is day two of a heat wave in central U.S. with humidity and heat index driving the temperatures well above one hundred degrees.

A weakening Andres is heading out to sea after flooding homes and killing one on Mexico’s south west coast. Andres briefly became the eastern Pacific season’s first hurricane yesterday.

6-25- More heavy rain recorded in Graham and Greenlee Counties in south east Arizona.

This is day three of a brutal heat wave for the central part of United States and one woman reported dead of heat stroke.

Flooding in Prague, Czech Republic has killed ten people.

6-26- This is an infamous day in Phoenix weather history. In 1990 the all time record high of one hundred and twenty two degrees was recorded. All flights were cancelled because planes had not been tested at this extreme temperature level and adequate lift was a grave concern.

The California drought will receive a Federal hearing (what else is new?). “The prolonged drought has turned fields into dust bowls, a spike in rural crime, high unemployment and low property values.” (It reads as if the Great Depression has moved to California; read the “Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck.

Twenty four people are dead from extreme heat wave in India. There has been a ten day heat streak where temperatures have reached one hundred and twenty degrees.

Tropical storm Nengka floods Manila with eighteen dead or missing.

6-27- Flood advisory issued for Cochise and Graham counties in south east Arizona.

6-28- The average first one hundred and ten degree day for Phoenix is June 20th. It was one hundred and eleven degrees today, and the first for the summer season.

6-29- Today marks the unofficial beginning of the miserable monsoon season at The Land. Ozone advisory is issued for Phoenix.

Flooding in Austria and parts of the Czech Republic continues; one boy swept to his death into a storm drain.

6-30- Afternoon thunderstorms cool Nogales, Arizona to sixty seven degrees.

Colorado residents are given “permission” to collect rain water for personal use. (So now the government owns rain? How about a tax on each drop of rain collected, sounds reasonable to me?)

This fine weather publication has two extremely dedicated contributing editors with their monthly quotes and words of wisdom. They have inspired me to include a quote I stole from someone else. And since this is my weather journal I, of course, can list my quote first. After all I am the fucking Editor in Chief!

The quote I stole from Paul A. Johnsgaard follows; “We are not separate from our environment; each species we destroy by bulldozer or pesticides represents one
more bridge that we have burned in our ultimate battle for survival.” George Hayduke would be proud of this quote.

Actually, the Mighty Broaduck quote of the month inspired me to steal the quote above. “There is no easy road in life. You only have two choices, the paved road where others can be your demise, or the dirt road where your decisions determine your fate.”

The Ryduck quote of the month is simple but true; “Birds sing loudly just before a storm.” I have a personal observation, being a desert dweller that is also true. Red ants go into frenzy just before a storm. They act confused and in a hurry for no apparent reason just as I do sometimes.
Mrs. BD points out that ALL ants go bonkers, not just red ones.

On June 25th there was no news that was not overshadowed by the passing of the “King Of Pop.” I searched high and low for a weather song from him, but since I have no recordings of the great Star I really had nowhere to search. I did love “Billy Jean” as it made for a great dancing song for stick duck legs to wobble to. So, the closest song I can think of, recorded by a sort of protégé and peer in the business is “Purple Rain” by Prince, or whatever his latest name or symbol of his name is.

Until the spear on the point of the lance stares your right between the eyes next month, remember, Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.

The Distinguished Professor MR Blueduck