Halleluhah! The Julbilee begins and the angels sing. The golden trumpet honks (like a goose) and paradise is upon us again.
The"squirrels do the happy dance of joy" (this is one of my favorite lines from the lovely Mrs. Blueduck. ALthough we don't have any fucking squirrels in this blister ass desert it sounds quite nice).
The quail no longer have to droop their pretty little heads under the pencil line shade of a creosote toescape the heat. The doves don't sound so mournful, the fucking rattlesnakes are getting lazy and spending more time in the ground dreaming about their next bite and feast.
The poor homeless drunk can now sleep it off under a shade tree without dying of dehydration from the heat coupled with the dehydration of being hung over.
What I am trying to say is it finally COOLED DOWN! The temperature was a full eleven degrees cooler at the end of the month than at the beginning. Yes, we had a couple of record breakers past one hundred but they were short lived, just to remind us not to become too soft and smiley faced.
In this latest installment you read some astonishing facts and information including, but not limited to, the continuing fires in California, the wild west still exists outside the city limits of Maricopa, Arizona, a woman beats a fawn to death, too early for Christmas, storm devastation and the world economy, twin fire analyses by yours truly (there wasn't something quite right about the reporting of that fire and I suspect a cover up to save the ass and face of the United States Forest Service, a twisted Halloween prank?, the backlash of stray cats in Phoenix, the Atlantic hurricane season has been mild and why, Indian summer my ass!, more wildlife sightings from the "astute" citizens from Maricopa and idiot planning from these same people, a storm with a mind of its own, a cat killer in the East Valley, a Mount Graham red squirrel update, who is being blamed for the drought and where, weater reports from Ryduck from his secluded location in Colorado and more amazing rare weater facts from the beautiful Twinky Duck.
Antelope Hill and Talking Trees experienced only an average four degree cool down from the beginning of the month to the end, but they had mornings in the teens and one day the average temperature for the entire day was 25 degrees. Their average temperature for the month was 47.98 degrees.
The average temperature at the land for the month was 70.04 degrees.
The average humidity was 27.83%. The average dew point was 32.51 degrees.
The average wind speed was 5.24 mph. Yes, there were even some wind chills but they are too boring to report and the math is confusing.
There wasn't any rain at all for the month of October.
Lake Mead is 40% empty, Pleasant is at a disturbing 51% and if you read last month's report ten percent of its volume is probably trash. Powell stands at 63% and our mighty Roosevelt at 77%. (We better get some fucking rain!)
10-1 It was twenty degrees cooler this morning in Phoenix than yesterday' twenty degrees in Flagstaff.
Phoenix ozone alerts declining since April for 2009. The cause is attributed to lower June temperatures and fewer cars on the road due to the recession.
Typhoon Parm gathers strength and will probably hit the already battered and saturated Philippines in the next two days.
10-2 "Super Typhoon" is bearing down on the Philippines. Mass evacuations are ordered.
Severe flooding in the Sicilian city of Messina kills twenty, washing away cars and collapsing buildings. NINE INCHES OF RAIN FELL IN THREE HOURS!
Tropical Storm Olaf forms off Mexico's coast, the fifteenth names storm of 2009.
Too early for Christmas? A young mule deer buck in Montana has been spotted with a string of Christmas lights hanging from his antlers and body. (The lucky hunter who gets this deer can hang him up, plug the lights into a generator and skin himk in the twinkly glow of the lights. It puts me in the Christmas spirit just thinking about it.)
10-3 A controlled burn near Williams, AZ, is out of control due to unpredicted shifting winds. The blaze has burned a thousand acres and the Red Cross has set up shelters for evacuees. Sixty four homes have been evacuated. High winds ground air tankers and wind speeds are predicted at 26mph for tomorrow.
Typhoon Parma pounds the Philippines with heavy rain and 108 mph winds.
The death toll from mud slides in Sicily could reacy fifty people.
A woman in Ohio is sentenced to eighty hours of community service after beating a fawn to death with a shovel. The woman became "frightened" when she found the baby deer in her garden. (She should be beat with a shovel!....Mrs. Blue duck agrees...dumb ass lady!)
10-4 Twin Fire still burning with zero containment and winds of 70 mph. The fire is still at one thousand acres.
The Sheep Fire in the San Gabriel mountains of California has burned 5.5 square miles and is only at 10% containment. Six thousand people are ordered to evacuate.
Two great white sharks seen near Santa Cruz, CA. One man was fishing from a pier and a ten foot shark grabbed his bait. The shark pulled the man down the length of the pier before shreading the bait and letting go. (mrs. blueduck would have let go of the pole and run screaming...all the time hearing the jaws music in her head)
10-5 Ten degrees below normal and a light snow is falling on the San Francisco Peaks near Flagstaff.
Reports say the Twin fire bieng held at one thousand acres but Williams schools were closed today. Fifteen percent containment reported and fire still held at one thougsand acres?
The Sheep Fire in the San Gabriel Mojntains in CA has burned 7500 acres and is 20% contained.
Two feet of snow falls in Idaho and Montana and a total surprise this early in the season.
Flooding in India kills 220 people and 2.5 million are homeless. It is the worst flooding in 100 years.
A woman in Pennsylvania is killed by a "pet" black bear while she was cleaning its cage. (Joan...remember this..bears are not pets)
10-6 Williams schools repopen and the Twin Fire still held at 1000 acres and 20% contained. (I just don't understand how an out of control fire that is fueled by high winds closes schools, and brings the Red Cross, can not burn more than 1000 acres in four days. How can a fire keep burning without consuming more fuel and land as it burns? There is a fox in the henhouse in my humble opinion; a mass coverup by some mighty embarrassed people!
Typhoon Melor is a Category 4 storm and may hit Japan in two days.
10-7 The Twin Fire is 60% contained.
Typhoon Melor is a category 4 storm and may hit Japan in 2 days.
The "quaint" little city of Maricopa is not on the weather map of some local news channels and some residents are complaining. The weather reporting equipment was on the old highschool which was demolished. (Yes sir, fucking progress with NO planning!)
According to the Maricopa Monitor reports from Hidden Valley (where we live" a neighbor shot a dog" and "a theft of horses was reported." At least we are called Hidden Valley and not Crow Town (which is on the Gila Res.)
Southern California warned of possible mudslides when it rains this winter due to all the scorched land from fires. The fire in the San Gabriel mountains is 32% contained and burned 11 square miles. Thousands of evacuees are allowed to return home.
Tropical storm Henry is gathering strength in the Atlantic.
Aid is slow to arrive for 5,000,000 victims of India's recent flooding. Millions of acres are under water. 35% of India's corn output may be destroyed.
The U.N asks for $74,o00,000 in world aid to help flood victims in the Philippines after the last two major storms.
10-8 The Twin fire is 90% controlled at 908 acres (?)
Henry weakens to a Tropical Depression in the Atlantic.
Typhoon Melar hits Japan with 123 mph winds, knocking out power to hundreds of thousands and killing 2 people.
10-9 Mudlsides from recent storms bury 150 people in the Philippines. the death toll is up to 450.
In Iowa, someone dressed a dead deer in a clown suit with a wig and put it on the family's porch. Officers think it was a Halloween prank bu the were not amused. They have begun an ivestigation.
10-10 RyDuck reports hard ice and 21 degrees at 11 A.M. He was going to the grocery store in his flip flops. (Hell, I would have on under-rues, thermal socks and 1000mg Gore-Tex boots.)
A week of rain brings some relief to dought stricken south Texas. The dought continues 34% of the state. Three months ago it was 68%.
A tornado rips through Kentucky and causes major damage.
The death toll in the Philippines from Parma ten days ago is up to 600 people. Thousands of people are still on roof tops waiting for rescue. Water was released from one large dam to keep it from collapsing and one other dam has already collapsed.
A man lost his arm below the elbow golfing in Hilton Head, South Carolina. The victim was bending down to pick up a ball when a 10 foot alligator attacked him. The alligator was killed at the scene and a necropsy was performed to remove the man's arm. The arm was stored in a cooler in the hopes of reattaching it to the vicitm.
10-12 Average last day of one hundered degree weather in Phoenix is September 28th. It may hit one hundred in several days.
Early ice and snow causes sixty car pile up in Colorado. Much of the mid-west receives snow.
Tropical Storm Patricia strengthens and a watch advisory issued for the Southern Baja California peninsula.
10-13 Considerable moisture left over from Typhoon Melor may hit southern CA this week. 4 to 65 inches of rain are predicted and fire raveged communities are preparing for potentially massive mudslides. Evacuations are being ordered for the Santa Barbara mountains. 50 mph winds and rain already in Central CA.
The nation wide death toll from mudslides in the Philippines is so hight, extra coffins are being shipped in from other parts of the world.
20 cats found dead in a Phoenix canal. Police believe they were intentionally thrown in. Necropsies will be performed to see if the cats drowned or were already dead when thown into the water. None of the cats had tags or collars.
10-14 Tropical storm Patrick weakens as it approaches San Cabos, Mexico.
An Ohio boy casing a football was attacked by a deer that was ready to engage in a fight with another buck. The buck flipped the boy with its antlers. His nine year old friend beat the deer with a stick until it left.
A great horned owl in Indiana flew into a moving truck and survived. The grill was badly damaged and the truck that to be towed but eh owl was conscious and sent to a wildlife rehabilitation facility. (This is bad medicine for the driver if you are a Native American in AZ)
10-15 Snow in Connecticut more like Decmeber weather.
Tropical storm Patrick dies out. The peak of the Atlantic hurrican season passes quietly and has been the least active in 10 years. El Nino, the Pacific warm water phenomenon, played a big roll in supressing Atlantic hurricanes this year.
10-16 Local heroes in Phoenix sending aid to Mexico from Hurricane Jimena that hit last month.
The first 2 weeks of October have been the coldest in Minneapolis history.
State College, PA, received 1 1/2" of snow, the earliest date snow has ever been recorded.
The Federal Climate Prediction Center forecasts a warmer north and cooler south for December through February. El Nino to strengthen and influence conditions.
10-17 A 102 degree record in Phoenix, 99 degree record in Tucson, and 86 degree record in Prescott.
Hurricane Rick is a category 4 storm off Mexico's Pacific coast and is considered extremely dangerous. It has sustained winds of 135 mph and warm waters cause it to jump from category 1 to a 4 in only 36 hours.
Evacuations ordered as yet another typhoon, Lupit, is expected to hit the Philippines. Lupit is the Philipino word for "cruel." It has wind up to 106 mph. The last two typhoons have killed 773 people and affected 7 million.
10-18 Hurrican Rick is a category 5 storm and could hit Baja resorts by 10-21. Winds peaked at 180 mph and is the strongest storm in 10 years for the eastern Pacific. The eye of the storm is 450 miles south of Cabo San Lucas.
10-19 The Potato Fire north of Flagstaff reported today. So far 60 acres have burned fueled by strong winds. It was started by an unattended campfire.
Hurricane Rick was downgraded to a category 3 storm but still considered dangerous. Sustained winds of 125 mph and a watch has been posted for southern Baja, CA, and Mexico. 13 foot waves hitting Los Cabos killed one fisherman.
10-20 The Potato Fire near Flagstaff is 20% contained at one hundred acres.
A storm warning is issued for Baja as a diminished Rick approaches. The storm has weakened but havy rain, flooding, and High surf are likely.
Prayers offered as Typhoon Lupit nears the Philippines with 120 mph winds.
Kenya's drought has ended but 4 dry years and little crop growth leaves 4.4 million people hungry.
10-21 Rick now only a Tropical Storm but it may dump 10" of rian on Mexico's coast.
A prison inmate serving time for a burglary has been charged with arson and murder for a 2003 California wildfire. One thousand homes were destroyed and the fire was linked to six hear attack deaths.
From the Maricopa Communicator, "In Hidden Valley, a medical call for 2 females stung by bees over 100 times. One woman collapsed on the road. An ambulance responed and a helicopter was placed on standby."
An in Maricopa (the NEW Maricopa) "a caller reported a skunk in his yard. He called police to see if she should shoot the skunk. the idiot was advised to contact Game & Fish." and in yet another call, there was a report of an "animal problem." There was some kind of wildlife under his bar-b-q and it had a white ring around it's tail. (I hope it had black and white rings and was a rattlesnake)
10-22 A bacterial infection, Leptospirosis, has killed 148 and 2,000 are sickened around the flooded capitol of Manila, Philippines. The infection is caused by the water contaminate by urine and from animals and humans.
Rick makes landfall near Mazatlan with heavy surf and SIX INCES of rain.
10-23 Typhoon Lupit weakens and stalls of the Philippines. Lupit's erratic direction baffles forecasters. It may head for Taiwan or Japan.
Due to a prolonged drought, Ethiopia needs emergency food aid for 6, 000,000 people. 80% of the population lives off the land.
10-24 Lupit drifts away from the Philippines. It still has 75mph winds and heavy rain. It may hit southern Japan.
10-25 Storm hits Athens, Greece with one dead, one missing, and drowned animals.
10-26 Red Flag Warnings issued for most of AZ tomorrow. Flagstaff may receive snow and valley temperatures will drop 20 degrees.
Cat owners in the East Valley are warned of a cat killer that has stabbed 14 cats in the spine and killed 2. (sick bastard)
10-27 Due to high winds and dust, flights are delayed for one hour in Phoenix. Wind advisories are posted for most of the state. 53 mph winds in Winslow, 28 mph winds in Phoenix, and the snow level will drop to 3500'.
Las Vegas has used up its Colorado River water allocation. The southern Nevada and Water Authority (sounds impressive, huh?) has agreed to spend $900,000 on cloud seeding this year. (I have snake oil for sale if they have money left over)
The population of the endangered Mount Graham red squirrel has dropped. It is estimated that only 250 are left from a peak of 550 in 2000. It has been on the endangered species list since 1987. Forest fires and the ongoing drought with poor cone drop and weakened trees are to blame. (couldn't have anything to do with a big ass telescope that took their food source, could it?)
The City of Maricopa is working on a ten million dollar project to develop land in major flood plain. But this area was hit by devastating floods in 1983 and in 1993. Flooding along the wash reaches 10,000 cubic feet per second. (the fools have no idea! In 1983 I was literally cut off from working in Phoenix for a week. Maricopa made national news with people on roof tops and heavy damage to the school and homes. 1993 was not as bad because by then bridges were built on Maricopa road along the washes of the Gila River. Go ahead and build and we will call ourselves New Orleans of the desert.
10-28 Temperatures in the Valley are 25 degrees below yesterday. Thow inches of snow fell in Pinetop/Lakeside. The Valley tied the low-high temperature set in 1911.
First major winter storm hits Colorado and Wyoming. Denver may get a foot of snow and Cheyenne has blizzards and 18 " of snow.
Typhoon Mirinae may hit the Philippines after back-to-back storms have killed nine hundred and twwenty-nmine and affected 9 million.
Record drought and poor planning have made blackouts and water shortages more frequent in Venezuela. "El Nino and the wealthy to blame." HUH?
10-29 Fifteen degrees at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. (ooshy!)
A slow moving storm in the Rocky Montains has dumped 3 feet of snow in parts of Colorado. Denver schools are closed and this is the most snow since 1997.
Two coyotes attacked and killed a popular musician as she was hiking alone in a national park in Eastern Canada. the victim as Taylor Mitchell, 19 years old and a songwriter from Toronto.
10-30 The officail snow total was reported from Ryduck in his secluded Colorado location was 27" with a wind chilll of 6 degrees.
3 tornados hit Louisiana and 2 in Arkansas.
Some areas in between Memphis and new Orleans will get SIX INCHES of rain in 24 hours.
10-31 Louisiana Governor declares a state of emergency after storms damage part of the state.
Typhoon Mirinae slams an already soggy Philippines causing 100,000 to seek shelter on higher ground.
David Bargber, the research chair in Arctic System Science says we are almost out of old Arctic Sea Ice. The multi-layer ice gets up to two hundree and 60 feet thick. In some areas it has been reduced to 20 inches and called "rotten ice." Mr. Barber said, "I've never seen anything like this in my 30 years of working in the high Arctic."
A dozen buffalo have been taken from a herd of 500 in South Dakota and trucked to Kansas. this is the first time in 140 years Kansas land has had the beasts.
A Florida Fish and Wildlife officer loses a five food alligator after bringing it to his daugher's school for show and tell. (oops!)
An Arizona woman survives 2 days of freezing temperatures at the bottom of a 300 foot embankment following a roll over accident that killed her husband. She was found by a snow plow driver on US 191 near Safford.
We will conclude these amazing weather facts with Twinky Duck's little known Arizona weather facts. Hawley Lake recoreded Arizona's coldest temperature on record of 40 below on January 7th, 1971. The coldest temperature on record in Phoenix was 16 degrees recorded on January 7th, 1913.
The quote of the month from Mighty Broadduck is "You can't hide your tears in the rain when you live in the desert."
Ryduck's weather by nature signs entry for this month is, "If you can't see the sharp points on a half moon, rain is on the way."
And finally the song of the month is "Feather in a Hurricane" by Michelle Malone.
Until next month remember, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.
The Distinguished and Honorable Professor MR Blue Duck
Quack.
