Sunday, September 5, 2010

August 2010 Blue Duck Weather...Special Anniversary Issue!


Special Anniversary Issue! August 2010 Weather News!

The concept of this remarkable weather journal was simple enough. I just wanted to track the temperatures here at The Land for a period of as many years possible and see if we are cooling or warming. There are many opinions, and now many are political and have turned into a perverted way to manipulate, have power and make fortunes.

But then Blue Duck Weather began to expand into the wildly insane and boring feature it is today. Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather sincerely appreciates the opportunity to deliver you three years of mindless shit never to be remembered by anyone and read by fewer than that.

So with three years of day to day tracking we give you the statistics for average temperatures for the last three years as follows:

The Land: 2008- 77.21 degrees. 2009- 71.36 degrees. 2010- 71.16 degrees.
Quemado, New Mexico: 2008- 48.33 degrees. 2009- 49.15 degrees. 2010- 48.25 degrees. The three year tracking period is not even a gnat’s ass in the big picture but it is the best we mortals can do.

August was absolutely miserable out here in the summer shit hole of the world. With an AVERAGE dew point of 60.03 degrees and an AVERAGE humidity of 40.24 percent and an AVERAGE temperature of 90.62 degrees it was a fucking sauna!!!! This kind of misery should have delivered more cooling rain at the Land but it didn’t. It was like we were in our own pocket of high pressure hell with the storms churning around us and delivering rain every where else. What did I do to deserve this? And there hundreds of miles away, shrouded in clouds and shadows of mountains and Gods,Talking Trees, and Antelope Hill smiled with a cool average temperature of 67.51 degrees.

It has been a respectable monsoon for rain in Phoenix. So far they have receive over an inch more than the average and stand at 7.27’’ for the year. The Land got less than a half inch in August and for they year has accumulated 4.32”. What did I do to deserve this piss bucket of rain!

And, one final torture to remind you of just how hot it was (we began this insertion last year just to torture you until we were safely out of the one hundred degree days) this month. The Land had nine days at 105 or above and one day of 110. But Phoenix, the heat island that it is, had eleven days at 105 and five days at 110 or above.

Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather has been warning you of the perils of Lake Mead’s dropping water levels and this month it made local news. You will read all about it in this fine edition.

The lake levels that mean anything in the southwest and Arizona are as follows: Lake Mead, 38%, Lake Pleasant 60%, Powell 64% and Roosevelt stands mightily at 93%.

Before we give you a preview of some of the exciting pieces of reporting to be read in this edition and get down to the day by day weather happenings I would like to share this headline from the AP on August 13th; “Floods, fires, melting ice and feverish heat: From smoke choked Moscow to water soaked Pakistan and the high Arctic, the planet seems to be having a midsummer breakdown.”

In this issue you will read about paint balls attracting Grizzlies, more deadly flooding in Pakistan (some say this is a tragedy of Biblical proportions), a man who is grateful that his dog chewed his toe off (?), the fugitive cow on the loose in Ahwatukee, Arizona is finally caught, More China flooding, why some fear Russia’s death toll from smoke and heat is under reported, another Titanic possibly in the making, a toad sucking Chef, a most unusual guard “dog”, the possible climate fate of the South West, and why you should go heavily armed if you visit Yellowstone this fall and find out what the weather Daisy Chain is. Now let the news reels roll!


8-1- Now the search has been moved to a northern Arizona landfill for the toddler who was camping with his family last weekend and disappeared.

The now 22 square mile wildfire near Palmdale, California is 82% contained. High humidity is helping firefighters.

The death toll in Pakistan’s massive flooding has reached 800. The threat of disease exists as some evacuees arrive in refuge camps with fever, diarrhea and skin problems. As of yesterday 19,000 trapped people had been rescued.

A paint ball course in Montana had to be closed after the odor from disintegrated balls were luring bears. The paint balls contain a vegetable oil and some bears have even eaten unexploded ones.

8-2 Missing camper boy has turned into a criminal investigation. Searchers are confident he is not in the Beaver campground area.

The flooding death toll in Pakistan climbs to 1100. The United Nations estimates that one million are affected. “Aerial monitoring is being conducted, and it has shown that whole villages have washed away, animals have drowned and grain storage has washed away.”

Hundreds of new wildfires break out in Russia.

The cubs of a Grizzly sow who killed one and injured two in a Yellowstone campground last week were malnourished and still had their winter coats. This may explain mama’s behavior.

8-3- The two year boy missing from the Beaver Creek Campground in northern Arizona is presumed dead. A limited search in the area continues.

A funnel cloud reported in Apache county, Arizona.

Nine in Memphis and Nashville have died from heat exposure. Heat indexes figuring in humidity have made temperatures in much of the South over 110 degrees.

Tropical Storm Colin forms in the Atlantic between Africa and the Lesser Antilles of the Caribbean.

According to UNICEF Pakistan’s flooding affects three million people. More flood warning were issued yesterday.

Russia declares that some wildfires are out of control. With 10,000 firefighters, volunteers and part of the Army there still isn’t enough manpower to combat the fires. The death toll climbs to 40.

Sun storms may bring the Northern Lights as far south as Maine and Michigan and all points farther north around the globe.

8-4- As temperatures soar again in Phoenix so does the Ozone Health Advisories.

A tornado was reported in Chinle, Arizona yesterday.

“Static kill” complete and the BP oil well is “dead.” This is day 107 and new reports estimate the total oil leaked so far is five million barrels. The “government” says 75% of the oil has evaporated or was cleaned.

Deadly heat wave across the South stretches along 18 states killing more than a dozen people and two police dogs. There have been 6 deaths in Mississippi and Tennessee alone.

U.S. Army fly relief missions for the flood victims in Pakistan. In the country’s south a half million people are being evacuated.

A Russian military garrison near Moscow moved all of its artillery rockets to a safer location as wildfires advance.

8-5- A two year old boy near Dewey, Arizona “went for a walk” with his dog earlier this week while family members napped. The dog returned but the boy did not. The poor little boy was found dead yesterday from exposure to the elements. He managed to walk through brush and rocks nearly a mile from his home when he was found.
Volunteers from the United Way are accepting donations for Flagstaff flood victims. Most of the victims live near the burned out area of the Schultz Fire that happened last month. They have been flooded seven times in the last two weeks.

A Michigan man says he is grateful that his pet dog chewed off most of the man’s toe when he was drunk and passed out. After he was rushed to the hospital by his wife doctors found a pre-diabetic bone infection and amputated the rest of this toe. (I think I would get rid of the dog. What’s he going to chew off next?)

8-6- Low pressure off the California coast swirling counter clockwise and high pressure east of Arizona swirling clockwise are drawing moisture up from Mexico setting the stage for the perfect monsoon conditions in Arizona.

The fugitive cow in Ahwatukee, Arizona has still not been caught. A hired hand who helped the owner of this cow said “it was wild, very wild.” After the heifer was bought and released into a corral in June it struggled with ranch hands, broke down a fence and ran off toward the South Mountain Preserve.

The latest estimates of Pakistan’s flooding is that it has affected eight million people.

Fifty people have been killed by a sudden downpour and resulting flashfloods in Indian Kashmir, a normally arid region that receives little rain.

Smoke blankets 1850 miles in Russia from wildfires. (So the question is does the smoke block the sun with a cooling effect or his the heat from wildfires trapped by the smoke?)

Tropical Storm Colin gathers strength and headed for Bermuda.
A Tropical Depression is forming in the Pacific near Mexico.

8-7- A Greenland glacier calves a 100 square mile ice sheet four times the size of Manhattan, New York. Not since 1962 has this large of an ice sheet broken off in the Arctic Ocean.

Seven are dead and entire towns are submerged in flood waters in Central Europe.

Tropical Storm Estelle forms in the Pacific and is 220 miles south west of Manzanillo, Mexico.

Moscow’s smog from wildfires is so bad it is equivalent to smoking eight packs of cigarettes a day. People are urged to remain indoors.

8-8- Six white pelicans that were victims of the oil spill in Louisiana have been relocated to the Phoenix zoo. Their wings were damaged from oil and will never fly again. ( Just how many animal casualties are there and thousands that will not be relocated to the sanctuaries or prisons called fucking zoos?)

Storms spawn tornadoes in North Dakota and Minnesota. No injuries reported but one building was destroyed.

A mass of floodwaters, mud and rock engulfed a town in north west China killing 123 and 1300 missing.

Colin weakens to a Tropical Depression near Bermuda.
In the Pacific Estelle has sustained winds of 60 mph.

8-9- The leading headline and story on the front page of the Arizona Republic today read “Floods surge across Asia.” (They are a bit slow since you have been reading it day by day in the amazing Blue Duck Weather News!)

8-10- Officials believe that the two year old boy’s remains are found two miles from the Beaver Creek Campground. Flash floods may have moved the body that far away from camp.

I saw a bumper sticker today that read “Save one hundred elk. Kill a wolf.” A different take on the reintroduction and preservation of wolves in the state.

“ Pakistan floods a mega disaster of record proportions.” The number of people affected exceeds THIRTEEN MILLION, more than the combined totals of the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami, the 2005 Kashmir earthquake and the 2010 Haiti earthquake. A person is considered “affected” if he/she will need some form of assistance to recover.

A new mudslide in China leaves 700 dead and 1000 missing. One man was found alive after being trapped for fifty hours.

People are dying in Moscow from extreme heat and smoke faster than their bodies can be stored, cremated or buried. The official death toll in European Russian is 52 but there are no statistics referring to Moscow. Some media reports that the city paramedics are told not to include “heat stroke” as cause of deaths to avoid panic by the public.

8-11- Slide Rock in Sedona, Arizona is closed to swimmers for “poor water quality”. (This means piss and shitty diapers!)

A Tropical Depression is forming over the Gulf of Mexico 375 miles from the mouth of the Missippii River.

U.S. aid reaches flood survivors in Pakistan. Many there regard the United States as enemy number one.

Rescue hopes dim in landslide that hit a Chinese town. There are still 1,042 missing.

The huge ice shelf that broke off in Greenland earlier this weeek could threaten shipping lanes and oil rigs. In a worst case scenario huge chunks could reach heavily trafficked waters where another Greenland iceberg sank the Titanic in 1912.

8-12- DarDuck reported it first and then on the front page of the Arizona Republic: Lake Mead is at a 54 year low. It has dropped an editional ten feet since last summer. There is talk of water rationing if it drops another twelve feet by year’s end. It would be the first water restrictions imposed since the dam was built reducing water to Nevada and Arizona farmers first. (Editor’s Note: We have been commenting on the level of this shit hole for three years. Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather is acutely aware of the affects this “lake” would have if it dries up into a piss hole.)

In Buffalo, New York a police traffic stop led to animal cruelty charges after they found a live cat in the trunk of a car “marinating” in oil and peppers. The driver told police the cat was “ill tempered” and he planned on cooking the cat. (Animal cruelty charges my ass! This dude needs to be put away!)

A rock climber on Mount Lemmon in Tucson was stranded for several hours by a bee swarm. Rescuers had to rappell down to his location to rescue him. It is not known how many times he was stung but he is in stable condition in a Tucson hospital.

A sixteen year old girl dies in Iowa flooding. She was among eleven people in three cars that were swept into a creek near Des Moines. Some of the survivors were found clinging to trees. Some areas received six inches of rain.

According to the United Nations 500 million dollars is needed to help the flood victims of Pakistan. The Taliban has urged rejection of all Western aid.

Rome Police seized a rare ten foot albino python that a group of drug dealers used to guard their stash of cocaine. The snake was seated on top of 200 grams.

8-13- An Excessive Heat Warning is issued for Maricopa and parts of Pinal counties until 8-17. It may hit 115 degrees. Average number of 110s so far is 18 in Phoenix. 19 have occurred.

350,000 residents in Ames, Iowa have no safe drinking water due to burst water mains from recent flooding.

Relentless downpours in China add more misery with more rain forecast for the Gansu province today. Up to three and a half inches with more landslides expected.

A shipload of U.S. Marines and helcopters arrive to boost relief in Pakistan today. Seven million people need emergency assistance.

An Iowa restauraunt Chef is caught on video kissing and licking toads in the kitchen. (I swear we don’t make this shit up!) He kisses them a few times, licks them and then stuffs them in his mouth. The Chef said it was a joke but County Health Department official weren’t laughing. He was fined three hundred and thirty five dollars. (They should close his fucking restaurant and burn it down!)

8-14- The Arizona Fish and Game Department is offering a twenty five hundred dollar reward for the arrest of individual(s) responsible for killing an adult 4x4 antlered mule deer near Yuma earlier this month. The buck was shot with an unknown caliber firearm and left to rot.

The rain that fell on Ames, Iowa earlier this week broke all previous records in that town.

Heavy rains finally falling on Moscow cooling and cleaning the air but wildfires still burn around Moscow. There are 500 fires burning in the country with 29 near Moscow.

A yellow lobster has been found in Rhode Island. They are so rare they occur one to thirty million.

8-15- A Flash Flood Warning is issued for Tucson this afternoon. Some areas have received up to two and a half inches in one hour!

The renegade cow in Ahwatukee, Arizona has finally been caught by two cowboys and returned it to the owner. The elusive cow has been on the loose since June.

The deadly waterborne disease, cholera has hit the flood ravaged country of Pakistan. Twenty million people may be homeless because of the disaster. The Indus River is rising with floodwaters and threatening previously spared cities in the south.

China declared a national day of mourning for the 1239 people killed in landslides last weekend.

The poisonous smog from wildfires has returned to Moscow. The carbon monoxide levels are five times higher than what is considered normal.

A clear plastic container has been removed from the head of a six month old black bear cub in Florida. It was stuck for ten days after the cub poked its head in garbage digging for trash. Biologists say the bear was days away from dying because it could not eat or drink. A team had to tranquilize the mother bear to get the cub away from here and free the poor bastard.

8-16- More flash flooding occurs near the Schultz Fire burn area near Flagstaff. A flash flood watch is posted for all of southern Arizona.

A four year old boy missing near Payson overnight has been found alive today. He was playing with a group of friends and wandered off. He was found a mile and a half from where he was last seen and in some rugged country with rattlesnakes and coyotes. The man who found him was a concerned neighbor on horseback. The boy spent most of the night wandering in nothing but a tank top and shorts but he told his rescuer that he wasn’t lost.

United Nations General Banki-Moon flew over flooded areas of Pakistan. “In the past I have witnessed many natural disasters around the world, but nothing like this” he said. He urged worldwide aid to speed up to help twenty million affected people.

8-17- Severe Thunderstorm Warning issued for Maricopa county with a Flash Flood Advisory. Wind gusts of 43mph recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport and flights delayed.

According to the government only 25% of the oil spilled remains in the Gulf. According to researchers at the University of Georgia this is not possible and they estimate 80% remains.

In Sudan seven children are killed when lightning strikes a religious school they were attending.

The World Bank releases 900 million dollars to help fund flood disaster relief in Pakistan.

8-18- Last night’s rainfall put the Phoenix monsoon total at three inches. The average rainfall for all of the monsoon season is 2.75 inches. Flagstaff has received eight inches, twice that of a normal monsoon rainfall amount.

Golf ball size hail and severe winds ruin wine vineyards in Senoita, Arizona.

A Swiss woman has drowned trying to cross the swollen Teklamika River in Alaska. She and her husband was trying to reach the abandoned bus made famous in the movie “Into the Wild”, the true story of Chris McCandless who died there trying to survive in the wild.

So far it seems hurricane season has been tame but the most active stretch is mid August through early October. Based on models one researcher says “Now the game is on.”

Latest mudslides in China leave 67 missing.

A school collapses from mudslides in India killing eighteen. Ten children aand two teachers are missing.

A Great White shark “chews” on a man’s kayak off the northern California coast. The man was unhurt even after the shark overturned his boat.

8-19- Flash flooding in Putnam county, Tenessee washes away a bridge, a home and derails a train.

Flooding in the Washington D.C. area results in a dozen motorist rescues stranded on flooded roads.

And yet another landslide leaves one dead and 90 missing in China.

8-20- A twenty two mile long invisible mist of oil is hanging far below the Gulf of Mexico from the blown out BP oil well according to researchers. The chemicals in the oil are found as far down as a half mile below the surface. Earlier this month “top federal officials” declared the that the oil from the leak was gone.

8-21- Today is the last average day for temperatures to reach 110 degrees in Phoenix. (God, we could use a break!)

Major flooding on the border of China and North Korea. 51,000 are evacuated after the Yalu River breaks its banks.

Floodwaters submerge towns in Pakistan’s south from the swollen Indus River. 150,000 people are forced to move to higher ground. There are already 600,000 thousand people in relief camps from flooding over the past month.

A Tropical Depression forms in the Atlantic and could become a hurricane by 8-23. It is 580 miles southwest of the Cape Verde Islands.

In the Pacific a Tropical Depression forms and is forecast to move parallel to the coast of southern Mexico. A Tropical Storm Watch has been issued.

Six suspects are arrested in Acapulco, Mexico for possessing 3,756 sea turtle eggs. The eggs are from Oliver Ridley turtles and are protected under Mexican law.

A live goat stuffed into the trunk of a Virgina driver’s car leads to a ticket for animal cruelty. The woman told police she bought the goat from a farmer to give to the four passengers in her car.

8-22- Two hikers and eight people in a cabin are evacuated by helicopter as a wildfire consumes 2000 acres of grassland in rural San Diego. The fire is 10% contained.

In Illinois a woman and man were riding in a car that got stuck under an overpass on a flooded road. When they got out to help push the car the woman fell into a flooded uncovered manhole and drowned.

Yesterday your fine staff reported about two Tropical Depression forming, one in the Pacific and one in the Atlantic. Frank has turned into a Tropical Storm in the Pacific near Mexico and Danielle is a Tropical Storm in the Atlantic.

The evacuation number in northern China due to flooding rises to 94,000 people. Four people have been killed and a FOOT OF RAIN fell yesterday.

In New Zealand eleven beached Pilot whales are rescued and forty seven others die. They were beached more than twelve hours leading to the high death toll.

8-23- Excessive Heat Warning issued for Maricopa County until 8-25. With the humidity index temperatures could reach 115 degrees.

The drought and excessive dry conditions in the South West could become normal in the coming years. Richard Seager, a climate scientist for Columbia University said “changing climate conditions push the prevailing storm tracks farther north and away from Arizona and other desert states.”

Danielle upgraded to a hurricane.

After all that southern China has been through in the last two months Tropical Storm Mindulle is expected to deliver heavy rains and strong winds. Large ships are prohibited from leaving ports and 20,000 fishing boats ordered to take shelter in safe harbors.

Food shortages mean Yellowstone’s grizzlies will be more hungry this fall. A favorite food for bears, nuts from white bark pinecones, is scarce. So as grizzlies look to put on pounds for the winter they will be looking for another protein source, meat. Two people have been mauled to death this summer in Wyoming and Montana. That is the most in one year in over a century for the Yellowstone region.

8-24- Flash Flood Advisory issued for Maricopa County. 50 mph winds logged and 4400 without power.

Danielle becomes a Category 2 Hurricane with sustained winds of 100mph.

Personal protection beacons are becoming more popular but are designed to only be used in truly life and death situations. A Grand Canyon Park ranger said out of twelve alerts received this summer only two were valid. One alert was for bad tasting water! (Editor’s Note: I have one of these devices and I carry it in my back pack. I hope I never have to use it and treat it like a loaded gun. It is registered with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and is updated every two years. If I “pull the trigger” the first thing they do is call the contacts on the list I provided to them. The next thing they do is deploy any and every source (SAR) available to rescue my miserable ass. That means by air, ship or foot any where in the world. It is my understanding that if I send a false alarm I pay the bill. And I’m reading some fucking idiot sent an alarm for bad tasting water?)(When Mrs. Blueduck was in Baltimore at NASA she was at the building that does the dispatching for these calls....these people are VERY serious and although I didn't see it, I bet they have an idiot wall up for the dumb ass things people signal for....the water dude, probably made the wall.)

8-25- Tropical Storm Minduelle hits north central Vietnam blowing off roofs and 14,000 people are evacuated. It has sustained winds of 73mph.

Flooding has completely cut off 800,000 in Pakistan and aid can only be delivered by air.

Two alligators have been caught in the Chicago River. City animal control officials believe they are abandoned pets.

8-26- During the storms in Phoenix two nights ago a microburst occurred damaging the Mayo Clinic at Tatum and Deer Valley. A twenty foot by 15 foot section of a wall was blown off.

Minduelle kills four and leaves ten members of fishing boat missing in Vietnam. 4,000 homes and 62,000 acres of rice are damage.

Hurricane Danielle gathers strenght and threatens Bermuda.

8-27- Well, my fine readers we had a high of only 86 degrees at The Land today with .34’’ of rain. But the miserable trade off was 65% humidity and a dew point of 76 degrees.

High winds fuel two wildfires in the West. The largest threat to people and property is in central Idaho. Another fire burning out of control is in the Helena National Forest in Montana.

“The Daisey Chain” is lining up in the Atlantic. Danielle is now a Category 4 hurricane, Earle behind it is a Tropical Storm and Fiona is a new Tropical Storm behind Earle. (If you look at satellite imagery the three appear to be three massive spinning tops cutting through the Atlantic and headed north.)

Eight million people are now displaced from flooding in Pakistan.

Torrential rains set of floods and landslides in northern Turkey killing twelve.

8-28- An inch and a half of rain per hour and pea size hail reported at 23rd Avenue and Bethany Home Road in Phoenix late this afternoon. A Sixty-nine car crash reported on I-10 in Phoenix because of heavy rain and poor visibility. One mass collison alone involved 35 vehicles.

The swollen Indus River in Pakistan breaks through levees sending thousands more to seek higher ground.

8-29- Yesterday’s storms caused extensive roof damage to the new library in the lovely town of ‘Copa, Arizona.

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the arrival of Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans. (They say you remember where you were when a catastrophic event strikes. I don’t remember that about this day but I do remember our kids were supposed to fly to New Orleans for a vacation. I am thankful they didn’t.)

Twenty-eight cities from Washington, D.C. to Maine set all time heat record highs for average temperatures from March to August.

Dangerous rip currents from Hurricane Danielle, although hundreds of miles away, result in dozens of swimmer rescues off the Florida coast.

Earl turns into a hurricane and threatens the northern Caribbean. Emergency shelters are set up, flights cancelled and cruise ships diverted.

Mexico’s gulf state of Tobasco in the south evacuating 7,000 people. Weeks of steady rain has caused a half dozen rivers to overflow.

8-30- Earl has turned into a “dangerous” Category 4 hurricane and could effect the Carolinas later this week along with thirty million people and dozens of states later.

8-31- “Monster Earl on path for North Carolina and then due north.” A Hurricane Watch is posted.

A Hero dog in Phoenix saves six of her puppies and her owners from a burning house by jumping up and down on the man’s chest and barking while he was asleep.

TwinkyDuck told me she thought some of her migraines may be attributed by barometric pressure changes. The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck and others have said the same thing. So out of sympathy for such pain I decided to record extreme dives of pressure. On August 5th and the 29th the pressure bottomed out. Were you in pain those days?

Your fine staff at Blue Duck weather would like to thank conributions by TwinkyDuck and a new contributing editor this month, DarDuck. My eternal thanks goes to the Lovely Mrs. BlueDuck for her contributions and agonizing editing of this piece of shit.

As a salute of hope to Pakistan and China the song of the month is, “Storms Never Last, Do They Baby?, by Waylon Jennings and Jesse Colter.

Until next month, remember Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.

The Distinguished and Honorable Professor MR BlueDuck