May 2012 Weather News
Welcome to another exciting, if not painful, edition of Blue Duck Weather News! My God, May was awful for record breaking temperatures in the U.S. and early, massive and vicious wildfires in the West. My uneducated opinion of the early fires, despite the obvious lack of moisture, was the wind in Arizona. Traditionally April is the windy month in this state but May was much worse. Add no moisture, a spark source and high winds and here comes the throat of the fiery monster consuming once beautiful timberland like popcorn. Yes, I know as the circle turns these fires are ultimately good for the rebirthing of a forest but without adequate moisture the burned areas will remain a wasteland.
Some say we are twenty years into a drought. There is a massive wildfire burning in the pristine Gila National Forest in New Mexico. The Lovely Mrs. Blueduck and I have driven through portions of it on our way to Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. We likened the scenery and mountains to those of Montana. But yet the area that the wildfire is burning has had no rain in two years! Something like this is just inevitable and will continue through the hot, miserable summer.
Some of you may ask, wonder or simply don’t care why this Quack continues this nonsense. We all know what the seasons will bring in the states we live in but this year some places the weather has had no expected rhyme or reason to it. The fascinating and unpredictable, sometimes masked face of Mother Nature. But she can be dangerous! Add to this a report that largely flew under the radar by the media; a well planned out plot by al-Qaeda to torch excessively dry areas near major cities.
However to break up this boring journal, as usual you will new and exciting and depressing tidbits to feast your eyes upon. For example, in this edition you will read about two new weather terms your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather have never heard of. I think the “think tank” at the NWS just makes some of the shit up but they have my profound respect for the work and research they do. You will also read the good news one year later after the devastating flooding in North and South Dakota, frozen cow carcasses now thawing and threatening to contaminate a popular hot spring, a man who moved to Yuma to get rid of a premonition that he would die in a snowstorm and the amazing story of what happened, Arizona wildfires dominate national news for a few days. DNA tests to prove the existence of Big Foot, cows that plunder an outdoor party and drink all the beer (we don’t make this shit up!) and so much more.
The average temperature at the Land in May was 80.79 degrees. It was only seven degrees warmer at the end of the month than the beginning, and as far as desert temperatures are this time of year it was quite pleasant. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill (hopefully not burned down yet) had a pleasant average temperature of 58 degrees.
We were fortunate enough in May to receive .14’’ of rain at The Land but the total for the year is .49’’, about a three inch deficit.
Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather have no lake levels to report, something we take very seriously, because our sophisticated link to this top secret information was missing. (One of our fucking dogs ate the newspaper on the critical day I recover the data.)
Now hang on for a wild, windy, hot and fiery ride! I pray June is not worse for fires.
5-1- A seventeen hundred acre wildfire, human caused, in southeastern Arizona is 25% contained.
Phoenix has a rain deficit of 2.77” so far this year.
Gaylord Entertainment Company has filed a lawsuit accusing the National Weather Service and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers of negligence. Its heavily damaged luxury hotel and the Grand Ole Opry House sustained 205 million dollars in damage during the flood caused by the Cumberland River in Tennessee in 2010. The suit contends that flooding could have been prevented if the Corps had opened a spillway on a flooded reservoir sooner.
5-2- A 24,000 acre wildfire near Fort Davis, Texas is threatening a resort development in the Davis Mountains.
Storm chasers and a fourteen year old capture photos of a funnel cloud in Montgomery County, Indiana. From the photos the NWS has determined it was an EF-1 tornado.
Another tornado reported in Medford, Oklahoma.
5-3- Thousand of bees in a Goodyear, Arizona neighborhood went on a fucking rampage and sent two to the hospital. “A reverse 9-11 system was used to alert residents to remain inside their homes.” (Wonder if this system will be used when and if Martial Law is imposed?)
The weather pattern over much of the central and eastern U.S. feels like June. Highs in the eighties in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Chicago, Illinois and Michigan.
5-4- Crews are fighting a wildfire in the Tonto National Forest that has burned 200 acres in Arizona. No estimate of full containment because of difficult terrain.
A well planned plot by al-Qaeda to torch tinder box dry areas in the U.S. near major cities has been discovered.
5-5- Red Flag Warnings for SE Arizona tomorrow.
Baseball size hail injures one in Oklahoma. Lightning forces the cancellation of a Texas Christian University baseball game.
5-6- Fire restrictions begin in SE Arizona tomorrow with no open fires or charcoal allowed.
A rare tornado hits Japan killing one.
5-8- January through April the warmest on record for the U.S.
A famed, morbidly obese cat named “Meow” has died from complications of weighing 39 pounds.
5-9- Extremely rare dust storm with thunder, lightning and rain in the Phoenix area as moisture is drawn up from the south. .14 inches of rain at The Land! Dust Storm Warning issued until six p.m. Trees and power lines down in Gilbert. Pee size hail in Bisbee. 55 mph wind gusts recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport. Fifty mobile homes damaged by “gustnaodoes” in San Tan Valley. Two luxury homes near Camelback Mountain struck by lightning and one destroyed. 13,000 without power. (No, we’ve never heard of a gustnado, but what a storm when there was only a 10% chance of rain!)
5-10- The School Canyon Fire twenty miles southwest of Sierra Vista is 75% contained at twelve hundred acres on the U.S. side of the border. It was reported two days ago and no cause has been determined.
Rare twin waterspouts moving in tandem for fifteen minutes caught on camera over Louisiana waters.
5-11- “Winds with an attitude” described of the storm that hit the valley two days ago. “Gustnadoes” are a mix of dust devils and powerful but brief updraft winds.
Eight injured after a Texas high school is struck by a tornado in Weimer, Texas.
Phoenix police have arrested a man for striking a pit bull with a machete after his girlfriend told him the dog threatened her. The injury was so severe the dog had to be put down after it was found wandering four blocks from “home”.
5-12- in just twenty four hours four wildfires have erupted in Aizona. The Sunflower Fire near Highway 87 near Payson has burned one thousand acres. The Dull Flat Fire, east of Payson has burned 400 acres. The Elwood Fire near San Carlos and the Dewey Fire near Highway 69. No burned acreage given for the latter two fires.
A year ago a record number of acres went unplanted due to flooding in North Dakota. But one mild and relatively dry winter later, durum wheat acres are expected to double and barley crops one and a half times bigger. In South Dakota this year’s corn crop could be the biggest in state history.
5-13- The Sunflower Fire has now consumed 2700 acres and is at zero containment. The Beeline Highway remains open. This fire is believed to have been started by campers near Sycamore Creek. The Bull Flat Fire has burned 500 acres and is 5% contained. It was caused by lightning. The Dewey Fire is under control.
A new fire has blown up near Crown King, Arizona. The Gladiator Fire has prompted volunteer evacuations and three houses have burned.
5-14- The entire town of Crown King is evacuated and 1300 acres have burned. National Weather News reports “Arizona wildfire grows, prompts evacuations.”
The Sunflower Fire has burned 4600 acres with 5% containment.
5-15- National Weather News reports “Snakes, mine shafts challenge crews battling Arizona wildfire. The Gladiator Fire has burned 1700 acres.
The Sunflower Fire near Payson has burned 8500 acres.
The Bull Flat Fire near Payson has burned 1300 acres.
Aletta, the first named Pacific storm has formed off of Mexico.
5-16- National Weather News reports “Extreme fire behaviour feared by Arizona crews. “ The Gladiator Fire is moving in on Crown King and cell phone towers are threatened. There are 24mph winds with 9% humidity. Red Flag Warnings posted for Mohave and Coconino counties in Arizona.
The governor of New Mexcio has officially declared a severe drought proclamation for the entire state.
Mild weather, according to one insurer, led to more wildlife and car collisions. There were 35% more claims for first three months of this year than all of 2011. “Executives speculated warm weather may have pushed both people and animals onto the roads.”
5-17- The Gladiator and Sunflower fires have doubled in two days and both are at 5% containment. Strong winds of 45 mph have helped Crown King since the wind is blowing the fire away from the town at this time. This fire has burned 6500 acres now. It has been determined that this fire started and spread by a house fire.
Sixty five homes have been evacuated near Fort Collins, Colorado. The fire has grown from from one thousand acres to five thousand acres in one day with wind gusts up to 50mph.
A swarm of bees at Chase Field in Arizona delays a Diamondback game.
5-18- Strong winds prompt new evacuations near Pine Flatts and Turkey Creek due to the Gladiator Fire. “Get out now!” as 44 homes are threatened. The Gladiator Fire has grown to 8,000 acres. One cell site is down near Crown King. A Travel Alert is issued at the Cordes Junction exit off I-17 west into Prescott due to heavy smoke.
With a Red Flag Warning issued for the entire state of Arizona the Sun Flower Fire south of Payson has blown up to 14,000 acres.
5-19- There are wildfires burning in seven southwest states and the Sunflower Fire near Payson is the largest in the U.S. at 16,000 acres with 10% containment. Major Travel Alert issued for Highway 87 near the fire.
The fire near Fort Collins, Colorado has grown to twelve square miles. It was started by a man with an outdoor stove while camping in the Roosevelt National Forest. He tried to stomp the fire out but then fled as the flames spread. There was no cell phone service for the man to alert authorities.
First Atlantic Tropical Storm, Alberto formed today off of the South Carolina coast.
Arizona Game & Fish is offering a fifteen hundred dollar reward for the person(s) who shot and killed a cow elk near Chevlon Canyon on or about April 7th. Nothing was removed and the elk was left to rot.
5-20- The Gladiator Fire is at 12% containment and communication towers are threatened.
The Sunflower Fire is 33% contained with 16,620 acres burned.
Seventeen tornadoes are reported in Kansas.
A Tropical Storm Watch has been issued for South Carolina and Georgia coasts. The biggest threat is Rip currents and 60mph winds. Tourist cruises are cancelled.
A popular hot springs near Aspen, Colorado will stay open after U.S. Forest Service rangers carved up eleven frozen cows in an attempt to prevent the dead animals from contaminating the water. The cows were found near the spring and a nearby cabin frozen to death. And now that the snow is melting is will be stinky shit!
“ A snowball’s chance,” Abraham Meadows was born under an oak tree in a snowstorm. After his family moved to Arizona in 1877 he grew to become a cowboy. He competed in the first Payson rodeo cowboy contest in 1884.
He eventually went to the Yukkon Territory for the gold rush and built the Palace Grand Theatre. After he cashed out he retired in Yuma thinking the hot climate would allow him to beat his premonition that he would die in a snowstorm.
On December 9th, 1932 a freak snow storm hit Yuma and “Arizona Charlie” died after operating on his own varicose veins with a pocket knife. (It wasn’t the snowstorm that killed him, it was his fucking pocket knife!)
5-21- Six homes now consumed by the Gladiator Fire.
5-22- A Red Flag Warning is issued for the entire state of Arizona for the next two days. Winds tomorrow may postpone the Gladiator fire fight. Nine thousand acres have burned with 15% containment. The fire is one hundred yards from the communication towers. More than 32,000 acres are burning across the state.
Tropical Storm Bud forms off Mexico. This one has the potential to become a hurricane.
Two hikers in separate incidents have died from heat exposure in the Arizona deserts. One was a tourist from Germany.
There was an amazing photo of a couple just finishing their wedding ceremony outdoors in Kansas. In the background there is a massive tornado about eight miles away. (Looks like my kind of wedding!)
5-23- “The most dangerous of blazes burning in the United States is the Gladiator Fire.” 26% containment with 24 square miles burned.
A wildfire in Nevada has doubled overnight and destroyed 17 buildings and two homes.
From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports a record of 93 degrees yesterday. Today, 65 degrees, no wind and rain showers.
5-24- The Gladiator Fire is now up to 16,000 acres and the largest fire. It has spurred an Emergency Declaration allowing Yavapai County to receive local and federal funds.
After two years of warning by the EPA Pinal County in Arizona has been ordered to clear up its dirty air. Affected cities are San Tan Valley, Maricopa, Casa Grande, Coolidge, Florence and Eloy. This county is one of the worst in the nation.
Bud turns into a hurricane and headed toward Mexico’s pacific coast.
Two new fires in New Mexico have merged and destroyed twelve homes and 110 square miles in the Gila Wilderness area.
5-25- Severe Dust Warning issued for the Metro Phoenix area until eight p.m.
The Gladiator Fire is now 35,000 acres and 35% contained. Evacuees of Crown King are allowed to return home.
A brush fire near theme parks in Orlando, Florida have closed roads leading to them.
Hurricane Warnings issued for Mexico as Bud nears Puerto Vallarte and mud slides are feared.
In Boxford, Massachusetts a roving group of cows crashed a gathering and “bullied the guests for their beer.” The herd went into a backyard and chased off young adults. The cows were knocking over beer cans and lapping up what was spilled. ( I have a good friend who would not have tolerated this rude behaviour and shot every fucking cow. Guess who?)
5-26- For this Memorial Day weekend all Prescott National Forest Land south of county road 177 is closed due to the Gladiator Fire. A cold front is helping fight the blaze. The low at the Land today was 55 degrees, and the high a pleasant 79 degrees. (Almost unheard of for May and we will take it.!)
The Gladiator Fire has now burned 16, 400 acres and is 40% contained.
70mph winds recorded in Mohave, California.
A Triple Threat for the U.S. this weekend. Record heat in the middle of the country, fires in West and tropical storms in the East. Also five tornadoes were reported in Kansas this morning.
Tropical Storm Warnings issued this morning from northeast Florida to South Carolina. Two to four inches of rain expected.
The massive Whitewater-Baldy Complex fire in New Mexico is zero percent contained and burned 85,000 acres in the Gila National Forest. An historic ghost town, Mogollon is ordered to evacuate. Six hikers were “disoriented” by smoke yesterday prompting a rescue by the New Mexico National Guard.
A wildfire has burned 17,000 acres in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula forcing evacuations of homes and a state park. It was started by a lightning strike and has doubled overnight.
5-27- 55 degree low and a 86 degree high on The Land!
Twenty eight degree low in Flagstaff and 18 degrees in Happy Jack.
This cold front is helping the firefighters battle the Gladiator Fire. A ‘’mega moisture burst” two nights ago dramatically increased the moisture levels in the forest. The fire is 45% contained.
Tropical Storm Beryl nears the U.S. southeastern coast due to make landfall with drenching rain tonight from Jacksonville, Florida to Georgia.
Wildfires in Michigan up to 21,000 acres today. The Duck Lake Fire is 20% contained.
Snow in northern California.
97 degrees in Chicago broke a 101 year record with record heat in the greater Great Lakes area.
The huge wildfire in New Mexico has burned 122,000 acres.
5-28- More record heat in the Midwest. Hottest Memorial Day ever in Chicago with an all time high of 95 degrees. Seventeen states set new all time records. Seven hundred people treated for heat related problems at the Indinapolis 500.
Although Beryl is downgraded to a Tropical Depression it soaks southern Gerogia and northern Florida and 40,000 without power. One foot of rain fell in areas, and for drought stricken Georgia, it is a relief.
5-29- The Gladiator Fire near Crown King is 50% contained. The Sunflower Fire near Payson is 80% contained.
The White Water- Baldy Complex Fire in New Mexico has grown to 150,000 acres and the largest fire in New Mexico history. Some areas have received no rain in two years,(and we are talking about forest land.)
Radiation from Japan is showing up in tuna caught in California.
The Duck Lake Fire in Michigan has burned three dozen homes. Pike Lake Resort, famous for its world class visitors is gone. The fire has burned 21,000 acres and is 95 structures are burned.
Beryl has dumped more rain on the Southeast coast and could strenghten back to a tropical storm. Ten inches of rain in Sewanne County, Florida. A seventeen year old loses his life in violent surf near Daytona Beach.
5-30- The Gladiator Fire is 65% contained and the Sunflower Fire 80% contained at 17,000 acres.
New Mexico wildfire shatters the record for the largest fire ever in New Mexico and has grown 20,000 acres in one day. Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument closed due to heavy smoke.
Winds from the pesky Beryl system caused a tornado with 105 mph winds that destroy four homes and damaged sixty four near Peletier, North Carolina.
5-31- The Gladiator Fire is 70% contained.
Phoenix ties the record of 109 degrees set in 2001 and the hot spot in the U.S. today.
The fire in western New Mexico has burned 190,000 acres. This evening, from the land, I could see smoke and haze from the fire off toward Casa Grande.
And there you have it my faithful readers. With that we will leave you with the song of the month. “Light My Fire” by The Doors. Somehow I don’t think that twisted bastard Jim Morrison was talking about environmental terrorism. I think we all knew what he was singing about. It got him kicked off the Ed Sullivan show when he ignored warning to “tone down” the lyrics. Oh well, a more “innocent time indeed.”
Until next month remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.
The Honorable, Undistinguished, Professor of Quackology, and a degree holder in Bullshit.
MR Blue Duck.
