April 2014 Weather News!
This edition of Blue Duck Weather is dedicated to the memory of Claire Stevens, ninety six years young. She caught a train ride home on April 16th. I will forever respect her intelligence, free spirit and love of culture and the arts.
“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul”- John Muir.
“If there is magic on this planet it is contained in water.” Loren Eiseley.
While much of the Country is just now enjoying a spring after a too long cold brutal winter, in my opinion, when April is over in the desert so is spring. There were ten days this month on The Land when the temps were at or above 90 degrees. What little spring grass we had is dead, the sky is turning from the brilliant winter blue to white, meaning real heat is on the way.
The average number of days during the summer season when the temperature is at or above one hundred degrees in Phoenix is 110 days! That means fucking three months. And I can guarantee you around July if the temps are below one hundred it is a sticky, muggy mess with humidity and dew points an arm pit of sweat.
So we shall play a little game. Starting in May I will calculate the number of days temperatures are at or above one hundred and keep track until fall is here. A sick reminder of the misery of summer. How many days do you think the temperature will be over one hundred from now through October? There will be a grand prize for the winner who guesses the closest. (Although we haven’t figured out yet what that prize may be.)
Pure tragedy broke out toward the end of the month. Tornado season was predicted to be possibly the quietest in one hundred years earlier in the month but all hell broke loose toward the end.
Also a one in three hundred year weather event happened at the end of the month in Florida. Read all about it in this month’s Blue Duck Weather plus:
What is “mass-wasting? If you are a stoner it is not what it sounds like, Arizona officials issue a “dire” wildfire season, the mud and rock toll continues to turn up bodies in Oso, Washington, the hopeful revival of the San Pedro River in southern Arizona, deep winter cold in April in portions of the U.S. while the West is already in fire season, mystery of bizarre duck like ocean sounds, the incredible story of red tailed hawks at a school, deadliest avalanche on Everest ever recorded and so much more in this latest mind staggering edition of Blue Duck Weather!
The average temperature on The Land was 71.34 pleasant degrees. The average temperature on The Lands in New Mexico was 55.39 degrees.
Still no rain with only .49’’ of rain on The Land.
No rain and the “great lakes” continue to shrink especially Powell at only 39%! Mead is down to 45%, Pleasant is 83% and Roosevelt 50%.
4-1- The death toll from the Oso, Washington landslide has risen to 27.
4-2- One inch of snow in Flagstaff, Arizona. (We will take what we can get, every precious drop of moisture. It is going to be a tragic summer for wildfires I fear greatly.)
Conditions in Arizona are similar as in 2002 for extreme fire conditions that caused the massive Rodeo-Chedeski. We are in the fourteenth year of drought. There have already been 179 wild land fires this year and the snow pack is 50% of normal. Already there is a Fire Watch for southern Arizona.
4-3- Death toll in the mud and debris of Oso rises to 30 poor souls.
First tornado confirmed in St. Louis, Missouri with golf ball size hail and one hundred homes damaged. 50 million from Illinois to the Gulf Coast are at risk to day. Drivers stranded in flash floods. Two to three inches of rain in Indiana and southern Minnesota. There are blizzard and tornado warnings issued at the same time in certain areas. (This is pure fucking weather havoc!)
“England’s air a 10 for smog.”
4-5- Snow in Flagstaff and Winslow and 90’s by midweek in the Phoenix area. (More pure fucking weather havoc!)
Landslides are a result of “mass wasting.” Nature lowers the center of gravity as time rolls on. Mountains rise and they fall apart.
4-6- A Mesa, Arizona woman is attacked by her own two pit bulls while she was trying to break up a fight between the two bastards. She is flown to a hospital with severe injuries.
The National Park Service announces they want to push buffalo out of the Grand Canyon National Park and into the Kaibab Forest. The herd has grown from 150 in the 90’s to 350 today. They are chewing grass to nubs, damaging upland lakes and trampling and shitting on ancient American Indian dwellings. There is no hunting on park land to reduce the stinky bastards but outside of the park 20 hunters last year paying almost eleven hundred dollars per tag were drawn on a lottery basis.
The killing of wolves and buffalo protested by a dozen people at the state capital in Helena, Montana. The state has sanctioned hunting and trapping of these animals.
A 518 million dollar weather satellite will be launched this week after a fifteen year wait. (Good to see NASA still doing good things for our world and space.)
4-7- EF-2 tornado with 125mph winds destroys 30 homes in Jackson, Mississippi with seven inches of rain! A young girl is swept away in Yazoo.
4-8- First 90 degree day at The Land. (Shit, it is on the way).
Death toll in Washington rises to 33 from the devastating landslide in Oso.
Bad weather in Mexico and drought in California have driven the price of a case of limes from fourteen dollars to one hundred and twenty dollars! (sounds like bitter gold to me.)
4-9- One hundred degrees in the southwestern armpit of Arizona, Gila Bend.
4-10- It is fifteen degrees above normal in Phoenix. Today hit 98 degrees.
With a dry winter 52% of Arizona is now in Severe Drought Status compared to 28% last year.
It has been almost three weeks and the death toll keeps rising in Oso to 36 folks.
“Predictors” (snake oil salesmen) forecast a quiet hurricane season.
4-11- Possibly two fires are burning near Flagstaff, Arizona started today by human activity. One is “out of control’’ and has burned 80 acres with strong winds and low humidity contributing. (God, it is only April. Save us come June.) Red Flag Warning from Graham to Cochise counties in Arizona with 40 mph winds. (Just today I told the Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck that I hoped our sacred Mount Graham would be spared by fires this year. Wisely, she told me all mountains are already cleansed. Think about it.)
This is the latest peak cherry blossom bloom in Washington D.C. since 1993 due to the very cold winter and early spring.
Dangerous Cyclone Ita makes landfall in Cape Flattery, Queensland with four inches of rain in twenty four hours and 90 to 105mph winds.
From severe cold to a brush fire, forty acres have burned in Edison, New Jersey. Helicopters dropping water are helping with the fire.
4-12- The Fisher wildfire is 50% contained at 175 acres.
4-13- A lack of air tankers is a big worry this year for wild fire season. The early start puts us in a precarious situation. The threat of an incendiary fire season from Oregon to Texas creates a logistical challenge as wildfires typically ignite in bunches. Air tanker drops are critical in planning a strategy to fight a monster and everybody wants aircraft.
The Fisher Fire is now 75% contained Two more fires in Arizona have erupted today. There is a brush fire in southern Arizona and the Brown Fire near west of Sierra Vista. 28 mph winds and a humidity of 10% are not helping one bit.
Severe thunderstorms are exploding across the Plains from Texas to Missouri. Tornado concerns are rising. In Michigan 80mph winds have cut off electricity to 150,000 folks.
Ten thousand evacuate from raging fires in Chile. Sixteen folks have been killed and five hundred homes destroyed.
4-14- Winds carrying tumbleweeds have invaded the drought stricken prairies of Colorado. It is so bad that roads have been blocked, canals blocked and briefly closing one school and barricading homes from people getting in and out. (Now this conjures up a childhood memory when us little bastards would wait until it was dark and the wind was blowing. We would roll tumbleweeds in front of cars to see the people inside freak when the weeds exploded into a million pieces when some unsuspecting idiot would hit them. Squealing brakes, cussing occupants, and swerving vehicles; it was all great “harmless” fun by us merry pranksters of the evening.) This plague of tumbleweeds is reminiscent of the Dust Bowl 80 years ago. Cattle used to keep them in check but cattle herds are diminishing due to the drought and high cost of feed.
A very cold storm dumped a half foot of snow on Nebraska yesterday and snow over Kansas and Oklahoma this morning.
Hungry and irritable from a long winter five bears wander onto the driveway of a home in Florida. When they went into the open garage looking for trash and food the woman who owned the home went out to investigate the ruckus. She was attacked by a sow and managed to make it inside before collapsing. Her fifteen year old son called 9-11. The woman required 30 staples and ten stitches in her scalp. The family lives next to a wildlife preserve. ( I do believe I would have been armed before I went outside to investigate.)
4-15- The Fisher Fire is now 95% contained but the Brown Fire is at 0 containment and burned 400 acres.
Three inches of snow in Detroit makes this the snowiest winter season on record with 94.8 inches of snow. In Pittsburgh the temperature dropped 30 degrees in six hours. In International Falls the record low was 5 degrees; 12 degrees set back in 1962.
4-16- The Brown Fire is now the nation’s top priority fire. (I wonder if it has anything to do with it burning near a military base)
“Diminished by drought and pumping, the San Pedro River may get new life from captured storm water.” This year a project will attempt to contain monsoon rain and filter it into the aquifer to try and preserve and improve the river’s flow. 17 million gallons is hoped to drain through and recharge pools, trenches and wells.This river near Sierra Vista, Arizona as thought by many to be the South West’s last free flowing river. The BLM is in court to block a seven thousand home development project that would use groundwater near this river.
Temps through the East are twenty to forty degrees cooler than yesterday. In some areas it happened in a matter of minutes not a matter of hours!
Chile trying to recover after a major wildfire that kills twelve poor folks.
Sticker shock from weather extremes- Smallest amount of beef production since 1951. The price of chicken, eggs and bacon are also up to record levels. Another drain on the food supply is the growing demand from China for U.S. food. (Now I ask you why don’t they feed themselves and let us worry about us. The answer is because China owns us and we are deeply indebted to that country.)
4-17- The Brown Fire has grown to 240 acres and zero percent contained.
Although warm in Phoenix the first 90 degree temp was on April 8th. The average is on March 31st. On average temperatures of one hundred or above will last 110 days. (Oh lucky us!) The earliest one hundred degree day was on March 26th, 1983.
Phoenix urban mountain rescues have doubled the first three months of 2014 compared to last year. Hikers are underestimating dangers of heat, desert mountain terrain and lack of water. There have been 76 rescues this year. (Why don’t the rescued pay the bill?)
Heavy spring snow from Minnesota to Ontario with one foot on the ground in northwest Wisconsin and the upper Michigan peninsula.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but this one amazed me: “When was the last time you heard of a forest fire that was started by a sandwich or an LED lantern…..We can reduce human caused fires if we take the fire out of our campouts and picnics. They may be less appetizing without the hot meals and melted marsh mellows for you s’mores, but our forests will love you for it.” I have had a fire in the windiest and driest of conditions and great precautions were taken to keep the fire in a confined and cleared area. We take just as much care in completely putting out a fire as we do leaving a clean camp. There just is no excuse for starting a wildfire in any weather.
4-18- About a month and a half early campfire restrictions in place in the Coconino, Kaibab, Prescott and Tonto National Forests in Arizona.
The Brown Fire is 25% contained.
And from the There is a fox in the henhouse file; a red fox is loose in the White House and cannot be captured. The bastard is eating the garden and trips motion detectors. (Maybe it is a ground drone sent to spy!)
4-19- The Apache Sitgrieves National Forest in Arizona will impose fire restrictions in three days.
The Brown Fire is 75% contained. There is a new fire north of the Brown Fire sparked by lightning. The O’Donnell Fire has already torched 600 acres.
Flagstaff, Arizona’s largest homeless shelter is closing at night for the summer season due to lack of funding. But many folks head to the woods to camp and the nights are still cold. There is a huge worry with as dry as it has been of campfires by the homeless turning into a major forest fire.
With only days leading up to Good Friday four Hickman’s Farms, three in Arizona and one in Colorado have produced one hundred million eggs for Easter in America! (You think we’re just a little obsessed?)
4-20- The O’Donnell Fire and the Brown Fire in southern Arizona are contained.
A Fire Watch is issued for all of northern Arizona beginning tomorrow.
4-21- Red Flag Warning issued for northern Arizona tomorrow with 50mph winds expected.
4-22- Forty-one confirmed dead in Oso, Washington from the terrible landslide earlier this month.
So far there have been the fewest tornadoes in the U.S. in 60 years. It may be the slowest in a century. Very cold weather systems drove cold, dry air across the Gulf States. The instability was not adequate for storms to cross the Gulf States from the Atlantic.
4-23- Scientists are monitoring one of the largest iceberg breaks off Antarctica. It is 255 square miles with ice one third mile thick headed to open ocean.
On the 18th thirteen guides were killed or missing during a massive snow slide on Mount Everest. Known as Sherpa the guides were preparing ropes for hundreds of climbers to come later. As of today the Sherpa’s plan to postpone guides on Everest for a year in observance of their killed brothers. They are also protesting about lack of funds to help their families. Nepal has set up relief fund. This could be devastating to the people who have paid as much as ninety thousand dollars for a guided trek up Everest.
4-24- As of today 33.9% of the Great Lakes are still completely iced over compared to 2% this time of year.
Wildfire in New Jersey and one school is evacuated. (Never thought of New Jersey as a place that would have a wildfire, especially coming out of such a cold winter.)
Some are forecasting a strong El Nino this winter. The ocean along the Equator is warming up fast. The last time this happened there were record setting rain events in Arizona in 1997, 1998.
Two Colorado elk hunters arrested after a motorcyclist is killed by them running a rope across a country road.
“A mysterious duck like sound recorded in the ocean around Antarctica has baffled scientists for over fifty years. The sound of the oceanic quack consists of a series of repetitive flow pitched pulsing sounds. Minke whales are actually producing the sound from deep below the surface.”
For the first time in history all of California in moderate to deep drought. (I find this ironic with a state bordering an ocean. Doesn’t the ocean produce humidity and fog for miles?)
A Queen Creek, Arizona goose is attacked by bees and rescued by a fireman with a “Fido bag” respirator. (I swear we do not make this shit up.)
A father and his five year old son are plucked off of Camelback Mountain in Phoenix. They had plenty of water but became lost. ( Now I wonder how the fuck you can get lost on a mountain when any view is nothing but homes and people, just walk!)
4-25- Snow Warnings issued for northern Arizona and the White Mountains.
The National Weather Service is issuing an alert days in advance from Oklahoma to North Carolina. “Prepare Now”, as 32 million people will probably be affected by super cells and tornadoes.
4-26- “High Alert.” Six tornadoes in North Carolina last night and tornadoes in Texas through Kansas. Two hundred homes destroyed and the first EF3 with 150mph winds recorded.
30mph peak wind gusts on The Land and it is 25 degrees cooler than yesterday. We even had a wind chill with 70 degrees plus 20mph winds equaled 65 degrees!
Three thousand without power in Phoenix due to high winds and 5.5’’ of snow in Flagstaff!
The Aerostat Fire has erupted in Fort Huachuca, Arizona.
4-27- Hail and winds from Iowa to Louisiana and a confirmed tornado in Nebraska. A half dozen states are under tornado watches. Flash flooding in Iowa City, Iowa. The highest storm risk is Little Rock, Arkansas.
4-28- Deadly tornado kills ten in Vilonia, Arkansas with a thirty mile path of destruction. The killer struck after midnight.
The search for victims in Oso has been officially stopped. Two people still remain missing.
The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck read this memo when she returned to work at school on the Reservation:
morning Teachers;
There is a young hawk or bird of prey that seems to be trapped in the playscape (playground) tower. Please do not let any of your students use the playscape at this time as we do not want to frighten the bird nor do we want anyone to get hurt by it. The animal control officer has been called and will remove the bird soon………” (As it turned out it was a young Red tailed hawk. A group of three had been nesting in a large water tower near the school. After the bird was released from the playscape tower in flew and landed right in front of Mrs. Blue Duck’s classroom where it sat for a period of time. I have never seen a red tailed hawk remotely close to here, only above the desert lakes, amazing!)
4-29- More killer tornadoes and seven more dead in Alabama and Mississippi. Two tornadoes splintered a building in Tupelo killing one. This storm system is so large it covered most of the South and could be seen from space. Fifty tornadoes in twenty four hours spotted in sixteen counties in Mississippi. After the third night of storms a total of thirty five are dead. One man said “Pressure drops, ears hurt and you can hear the train coming.” A lady in Vilonia said “You don’t understand everything you have until you realize that all I’ve got is now is just what I have on.”
4-30- Historic twenty two inches of rain falls in the Florida Panhandle in twenty four hours. State of Emergency declared in Pensacola, Florida with water rescues and five inches of rain in one hour. Two trillion gallons of water in one day! A once in three hundred year event and more rain than Hurricane Ivan ten years ago.
The American Lung Association ranks Phoenix as the eighth most polluted city for air standards as measured by year round particle emissions. Heat, dust and lack of rain to blame. Phoenix was 18th on the list last year.
A Flagstaff woman falls four hundred feet to her death from the Grand Canyon at Mather Point. The cause of the fall is under investigation.
After arguing with her children a Phoenix woman throws a kitten off a third floor apartment balcony to its death. She has been arrested of animal cruelty and abuse. (Sheriff Arpaio has a place for this sicko.)
And that brings us to the conclusion of yet another month of brilliant weather reporting and all the news that fits in this insanity. Until next month when the freight train is howling at midnight remember;
Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.
Professor of quackology, distinguished award winner MR. Blue Duck
