March 2010 Blue Duck Weather News

March 2010 Weather News!

Spring is in the air, Alfieeeeeeee! What is that old saying about March coming in “like a lion and go out like a lamb”? I think it should be coming in like a Turkey vulture and going out like a waddling duck. Yes, indeed spring is here. I would like to take a moment to mention that the Lovely Mrs. BlueDuck and the DooderDuck both have March birthdays so we can officially call them spring ducks!

Although all calendars recognizes the beginning of spring on March 20th, the actual beginning date in Arizona was March 16th. On that day there were equal amounts of light and darkness. Isn’t that amazing? Just a taste of all the amazing information you will find in this digest of weather facts and strange behavior by animals and humans (if you want to call people humans.)

You will also read about the continuing effects of the wet winter in Arizona. The Salt River still has all un-bridged crossing closed and there were as many water rescues on the Gila River in the west valley than anywhere in the state. But March also brought a big warm up and we all know what that means. Whether is was at 1150’ above sea level (The Land) or 7400’ above sea level (Talking Trees and Antelope Hill) there was a nineteen degree warm up from the beginning to the end of the month. And now we will have all of that melting snow up north to deal with also.

In this “it will stagger you out of your mind” edition of BlueDuck Weather you will read why shark attacks were down in the past year, a pissed off Emu, A monkey that cannot be caught but has a Face book page, more Arizona wildlife rabies incidents, even more news about the controversial wild Mustang roundup, Tornado Alley beginning in the South, a man who smuggled songbirds in his pants, a moose attack in Manhattan, New York, rattlesnakes are back in Arizona after a long cool winter, why it may be an extreme hurricane season, snail mucous, historic flooding predicted in the North East and the Mid West, a storm with no name that had hurricane force winds, a dog that didn’t want to be rescued, a skunk that tangled with a peanut butter jar, one hell of a sandstorm, why you should shake your shoes out before you put them on, where the worst pollen count in the United States was, and attempted resuscitation on a very dead Opossum and much more!

The average temperature at The Land for March was 60 degrees. The average for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 45.79 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was 45.79% and the average dew point was 33.45 degrees. There was fog on March 1st and the humidity was so high it recorded as
.01’’ of rain.

The average wind speed was 6.72mph.

The Land received .68’’ of rain in March, bringing the total to 3.37’’ for the year.

Roosevelt Lake is at an all time high of 101% capacity. Pleasant is 95% full. Poor old Mead and Powell just can’t “get it up” for nothing. Every time I report the levels they almost always seem the same; 43% and 57% respectively.

3-1- Roosevelt Lake is officially full, weeks before it begins to receive snow melt. The entire Salt River Lake system is 98% full.

Ice from last week’s storms have broken through the glass atrium at the Sony Building in New York City. Ten people injured.

Shark attacks are down 30% in the past year. A bad economy with lack of tourism and vacationers touted to be the main reason.

78 tons of dead fish have washed up on the beaches in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Scientists are baffled as to why.

3-2- The storm that battered Europe two days ago has left 62 people dead. Half of the French death toll attributed to a breach of a seawall where ocean water surged up to the roofs of some homes.

In New York a snowplow may have moved the cover of a sewage pit. A teenage doughnut shop worker fell in and drowned while taking out the garbage.

Four snow boarding teens were rescued in Maine after becoming lost. They survived a 22 degree night in the deep forest by moving around to stay warm.

3-3- Arizona is experiencing the 4th strongest El Nino weather pattern since 1950.
The Arizona Department of Transportation is auctioning off vehicles to help pay for snow plowing a road repairs from two months of storms. They have to raise an additional four million dollars.

Snow falls over much of Georgia with hundreds of flights cancelled in Atlanta.

Due to hard freezes during January and February in Florida there are tomato shortages throughout the United States.

Waves over 20’ high batter a cruise ship off the Coast of Brazil shattering windows and killing two people.

Thick rivers of mud buries three villages in Uganda, killing 80. 250 people are missing.

A huge Emu was running loose on I-10 in Texas tying up rush hour traffic. When deputies tried to restrain the animal it attacked them. “The Emu died en route to a animal control shelter. The cause of death was unknown”. (Editor’s note: you have got to be kidding me. Police officers with night sticks, mace, tasers and guns and the cause of death is unknown?)

3-4- 45mph winds in Flagstaff.

10% of France’s sixth thousand miles of seawalls considered at risk after being pummeled by recent storm waves.

Uganda children were buried by mudslides when they were told to take refuge in a church.

3-5- A 30 lb. Rhesus monkey on the loose in Florida has managed to escape capture by wildlife officers, trappers and police. But yesterday the monkey is on Facebook called “Go Monkey Go” & “Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay.”

A Gray fox that attacked a dog in Yuma, Arizona last month tests positive for rabies.

3-6- The Mid West is getting ready for severe flooding with heavy snow melt. The National Weather Service issued a statement that severe flooding could occur as soon as two weeks from now. The ground is already saturated and it could affect people along the Red, Mississippi and the Missouri Rivers. In Fargo, the chances of major flooding is predicted at 90%, record flooding 19%.

The warmest day at The Land since November, 76 degrees.

Uganda floods and mudslides displace 20,000 people. Rescuers have recovered 92 bodies buried by mud.

Extreme recent weather around the world blamed on the fourth strongest El Nino weather pattern ever.

NASA launches a 500 million dollar weather satellite.

3-7- There is 100% chance of rain for most of Arizona today. (Editor’s note: when you are camping this prediction is dire and foreboding to say the least as some of us know.)
Winter Storm Warning above 5000’ also.

BLM buys 7500 acres of range land in New Mexico to protect the Prairie chicken. (Editor’s Note: Goddamnit! When did the Bureau of Land Management get into the animal conservation business? All they have been doing for a hundred years is leasing land so that the slovenly bovine can tramp, eat and shit on every square foot of ground in their paths. There is something more here than meets the beady eye ByGawd!.)

A bear at a Wisconsin zoo bites off the fingers of a woman. She ignored barriers and warning signs to feed the animal. “Alcohol played a factor.”

3-8- 19 days of rain so far this year in the “Valley of the Sun.” As of today Phoenix has received seven months of rain in two months. There is street flooding in Scottsdale and the north west valley.

“Car pollution linked to rainy weekends.” Two ASU researchers claim that pollution builds up during the week the tiny particles released in the air suppress rain. With less traffic on the weekends it rains more. (Get a life!)

Landslides block Colorado’s Highway 75 with tractor trailer sized boulders.

Heavy snow in parts of Germany caused an avalanche that killed a back country hiker in the Bavarian Alps. Seven others were killed in weather related auto accidents with two thousand wrecks reported over the weekend.

A tropical bird known as the Kingfisher has been spotted and documented at the Nature Conservancy’s Hassayampe River Preserve in Wickenburg, Arizona. The bird has never been documented this far north.

The 1100 mile Iditarod Trail sled dog race begins in Alaska today.

Two years ago Americans were outraged when the federal government threatened to kill 10,000 Mustangs in the West. Secretary Ken Salazar announced that the Obama administration would not carry out the Bush policy to eliminate the “living symbols” of the West. Now Salazar has continued the controversial practice because managing herds is costing “The American taxpayer millions of dollars.” The conflict is headed to court on April 30th. Wild horse advocates will argue with the Interior Department and BLM that they are violating a 1976 Wild Free Roaming Horses and Burros Act. (Sounds like this bill was passed by a bunch of pot smokers. Far out!)

3-9- 70mph winds in Apache Junction, Arizona. A Flash Flood Warning is issued for Maricopa County. A Winter Weather Advisory is issued for northern Arizona. There are complete whiteout conditions in Flagstaff. A missing hiker went for a walk in Munds Park last night. The car is found but not the hiker. She left her vehicle to walk her dog at an overlook. Searchers are concerned about extreme cold conditions.

A twister hits Hammon, Oklahoma destroying five buildings but no injuries. The Nation usually has 70-100 tornados by early March. Only 42 have been reported and a record of only one in February.

A California sea lion has become the first killed this year for eating salmon. This is the second year of a program administered by wildlife officials in Oregon and Washington. (This is fucking ridiculous! If a salmon is to a sea lion what a bird is to a cat what is the use, train them with death?) Mrs. BD adds, Where are the protestors for this one?

A man smuggled 14 live songbirds from Viet Nam to Los Angeles in his pants. The birds were wrapped in cloth and strapped to his legs and ankles. They could have sold for four hundred dollars each. If he pleads guilty to the charges he can be facing twenty years for illegally transporting wildlife. (I think he should plead insanity.)

A woman in Manhattan has filed a lawsuit in the Supreme Court. She claims that a moose head fell off of a bar wall and struck her in the head. She said the moose caused “chronic neck pain, anxiety, fatigue, dizziness and severe personal injuries including embarrassment.” ( Why don’t they just give her a lethal injection of Prozac?)

3-10- The body of a missing woman found a mile from her car near Munds Park, Flagstaff. Her dog was found alive. Hypothermia is the cause of death as the woman scattered clothing that she removed as delirium set in and a false sense of being warm.

The first rattlesnake bite of the season reported in Tucson.

3-11- There has been nine straight days of snow in Flagstaff with 15.7’’ in Munds Park. Ninety four days of snow this season ties the record for third.

Severe weather for the East Coast. Tornados and 10’’ of rain possible. Heavy snow in South Dakota and Nebraska. There is rain from the Mid West to the Carolinas.

The 2010 hurricane season could be extreme with two or three landfalls along the U.S. Coast. The reasons are a weakening El Nino pattern (?) with warmer temperatures in the ocean where storms form, weakening trade winds and higher humidity levels. Warm waters and high humidity favor the development of tropical storms.

3-12- With eleven feet of snow this season, Flagstaff has more snow than Anchorage, Alaska or Buffalo, New York.

One killed and three hurt as tornados touch down in Arkansas. Appliances from one house blown 750’ away and debris found two miles farther. Baseball size hail fell in Texarkana. Golf ball size hail fell in Louisiana.

Eleven rare Siberian tigers die of malnutrition in a Chinese zoo that couldn’t afford to feed them. The huge cats were only fed chicken bones.

A teacher in rural Chignik Bay, Alaska was killed by animals according to an autopsy. The body had been dragged off of the road and surrounded by wolf tracks.

3-13- Four horse riders and three horses rescued in the Gila River after three hours near Buckeye, Arizona. One of the horses had to be put down after getting tangled in brush. One horse is still trapped on a sand bar. A helicopter will drop hay as the owner is weighing options how to rescue the horse.

Tropical storm Huber kills 14 and affects 32,000 in Madagascar.

Tornadoes damage 28 condos at golf resort near Haines City, Florida.

Kazakhstan flood kills 30 and destroys a village of 3000. A dam in neighboring China burst unleashing water 6.5’ high.

Dozens of hungry and sick sea lion pups have washed up on Southern California beaches this winter. Many have died and El Nino ocean warming makes the pups main food, squid scarce.

“Devotees of a Miami man who claims to practice a traditional African religion say they were sickened when the drank the mucous of a giant African snail." (NO SHIT...mrs. bd)

3-14- One horse is still stranded on a sandbar near Buckeye on the Gila River. A hay drop by air was blocked by FFA restrictions. The owner of the horse is trying to hire a helicopter with a harness to get the horse out.

Strong winds with heavy rains slams New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. Wind gusts of 61mph leaves 500,000 without power. New Jersey declares a State of Emergency.

North Dakota and Minnesota residents saw record flooding last year and may see it again. The National Weather Service reports the Red River rising to 38’ by the end of the week. That would be 20’ above flood stage and 3’ below last year’s record. The crest had not been expected until early April.

Three people on snowmobiles may have touched off a deadly avalanche in Revel stroke, British Columbia. Two people were killed and thirty injured as snow came crashing down on two hundred people gathered for a stunt riding contest.

A Boulder City, Colorado man walked out of a half way house sentence and poached a black bear. He’s going back to jail for six years.

3-15- Portions of I-17 will be closed periodically south bound from Sunset Point to Black Canyon City, Arizona for the next two weeks. Work will be done to prevent rockslides from saturated hills next to the freeway.

A storm with no name still causing havoc in the North East. A nor’easter generated more phone calls than the 9-11 attacks. 250,000 people still without power.

3-16- “Colorado”, the horse that has been stranded on a Gila River sandbar has been rescued by a donated helicopter and makes national news.

More rain cripples portions of the North East with flooding and power outages. Eight inches of rain has fallen in parts of Massachusetts. This state along with Connecticut and Rhode Island have declared States of Emergencies.

The National Weather Service reports that a third of the United States faces a high or above average flood risk this spring. “We are looking at potentially historic flooding…” The highest threat is in the Dakotas, Minnesota and Iowa.
The factors that play into “eminent flooding” are:
1.) A snow pack containing more than 10’’ of liquid water.
2.) Milder temperatures in March that speed up snow melt and runoff.
3.) Above normal stream flows.
4.) December precipitation that was up to four times above average.
5.) Ground that is frozen up to three feet below the surface.
The current snow pack is among the top ten since the 1940’s.

36 dead and 38,000 homeless by Tropical Storm Huber in Madagascar.

Although Michigan is known as the Wolverine State the last remaining one discovered dead by hikers.

According to the United Nations the world has failed “miserably” protecting tigers in the wild. Twenty years ago there were 100,000 tigers in Asia. There are now only 3200 in the wild.

3-17- A kayaker has to be rescued out of the Gila River near Buckeye. The river is flowing at 8900cfs, as fast as 1993.

Major flooding from high country snowmelt possible in Arizona. Moisture levels are 300-400% above normal! With the weather warming and desert lakes already full the runoff from snowmelt alone could supply a year’s water for the entire Phoenix area. This represents 326 billion gallons of water.

California has received enough rain to free up water for parched farms and cities around the state. Some of the richest farmland has been sitting idle for three years due to drought and federal water restrictions to “protect native fish.”

In Fargo the rising Red River passed major flood stage today. The mark was hit when it topped thirty feet above flood stage. Residents and the National Guard are stacking sandbags.

100,000 people still without power in the North East from last weekend’s storm with no name. Eleven were killed and thousands in homeless shelters.

Fiji cyclone damage “overwhelming” according leader. The extent has not been determined because communications have been cut off for days. Cyclone Thomas had winds of 130mph at the center and outflow winds of 170mph.

In Farmington, New Mexico an injured German shepherd walks into an emergency room with a puncture wound.

A 67 year old country musician spent four days in his Cadillac stuck in a snow bank in Montana. A couple who decided to go four wheeling came upon his car. The lady asked him what he was doing there and the man replied “dying.”

3-18- Good old “Copa” (the new Maricopa) finally has their weather station up and running on one of the high school buildings. Now “officials” are trying to get local news channels to accept their weather data. They are butt hurt because weather forecasts often ignore Copa. (Editor’s Note: they ain’t got nothing’ on BlueDuck Weather!)

A man is swept away in the Verde River near Strawberry, Arizona. The river flow is five times higher than normal. He drowned after loosing his footing trying to rock jump across the river.

An eight year old dog named Koozie had to be rescued twice from the breaking ice in Lake Erie, New York. A helicopter with a crew member lowered in a basket pulled the dog off the ice. After returning to shore the dog trotted back out onto the ice.

Cheetahs make a return in Angola for the first time in thirty years since the now ended civil war devastated their habitat.

3-19- Rafters rescued from the Gila River near Buckeye, Arizona.

Federal disaster aid coming to northern Arizona communities hard hit from December and January’s storms. The Navajo Reservation has been declared a disaster area by President Obama.

Roosevelt Lake at its highest level ever. Releases would fill an average size swimming pool per second.

Two women on an afternoon walk in north Phoenix are swarmed and stung by bees. Both women are in critical condition and a man who tried to help also stung.

A major storm will dump a foot of snow in areas of Colorado on this last day of “official” winter.

Two wolves suspected of killing a teacher in Alaska did not have rabies. The animals suspected of the attack were shot and tested for the disease.

3-20- The Maricopa County Sheriffs’ Office is urging the public to stay away from swift water crossings. In the past week there have been twelve rescues.

An Arizona Game and Fish employee has been fired for trapping the only known living jaguar in the United States. The cat was snared between Arivaca and Nogales, Arizona. It died as a result of health problems after being trapped.

Snow hit’s the Great Plains on this first official day of spring. Yesterday the temperature was in the 70s. Wind gusts of 40mph and blizzard conditions could make this potentially a “life threatening storm.” A State of Emergency is declared in Oklahoma.

A million sandbags have been stacked along the Red River in Fargo as residents way to see how high it will get.

The biggest sandstorm of the year blankets northern China. Grit may travel as far as the western United States. China’s expanding deserts are the cause. They have been caused by overgrazing, deforestation, urban sprawl and drought. ( Does this sound familiar?)

3-21- The Gila River is running eight times higher than normal from snowmelt.

A jaguar will be returned to Sonora, Mexico after life saving surgery at the Phoenix Zoo. The zoo has had the animal since 2008 after he was illegally captured and his teeth badly damaged.

The Red River crests without major damage in Fargo.

One inch of snow in Dallas, a half inch away from the all time record for a winter season.

The Mighty BroadDuck reports from Michigan that it has been in the sixties all week but the past two days have had highs of only 38 degrees.

Sixty thousand people are without power after Cyclone Ului slams the coast of North West Australia with winds of 124mph.

A Colorado wildlife officer pried a peanut butter jar off of a skunk’s head without getting sprayed. The officer received a call that the skunk was in somebody’s front yard and appeared disoriented. The officer freed the skunk by tying a noose pole to the jar and pulling.

An avalanche kills one snow mobile rider on Eagle Pass in British Columbia and another avalanche kills two skiers at Wells Gray Provincial Park.

3-23- A record .52’’ of rain for this day was recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix. None to a trace was predicted.

Scorpion bites are on the increase in Arizona. The number one thing to do to prevent bites is to shake out ones shoes before putting them on.

RyDuck reports that six to eight inches of “spring snow” forecasted tonight for his domain of Colorado.

A freak storm hits Perth in western Australia with flooding and 75mph winds. It caused a collapsed roof at a hospital and an airport. This area has had a dry summer with no rain for months. (Yes my faithful readers, it is summer in this part of the world.)

With sandstorms that hit Beijing, China last week the most serious level of air pollution was reached there, “Level 5.” Record pollution levels were registered in Hong Kong. 1240 miles away.

3-24- Prescott, Arizona has the highest pollen count in the Nation today.

One woman in Phoenix is stung by “thousands of bees”. People within a quarter mile of the attack are told to stay indoors.

The search is on for a dog killer after one is poisoned in Ahwatukee, Arizona.
Heavy snow closes Denver Airport with nine inches of snow. Two feet falls in Jefferson County and Colorado Springs receives three inches in forty minutes.

3-25- Wind Advisories posted for northern and eastern Arizona.

RyDuck reports “fifteen inches of the wettest, concrete heavy snow he has ever shoveled.”

New Moore Island in the Bay of Bengal has completely submerged under rising seas. India and Bangladesh have been arguing for thirty years who has control of the island.

Parts of Greenland and Antarctica have experience four degrees of warming in the past ten years according to NASA scientists. Ice melts in these regions are increasing dramatically.

A severe dust storm covers part of Nigeria. This type of weather has usually ended by February and some blame global warming.

Gorillas in central Africa are in danger of becoming extinct in fifteen years. The causes are illegal logging, mining and hunters killing for meat.

A coyote on the loose in Manhattan for days is finally subdued and caught.

3-26- For weeks the National Weather Service has been issuing flood warnings for the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers because of heavy snow melt.

3-27- Five people are stung by bees in west Phoenix.

Emergency wells are being drilled and cloud seeding in southern China. The worst drought in decades has left millions with little water. One thousand schools have closed for lack of drinking water. Since last year crop and livestock losses have amounted to 3.5 billion dollars.

A Pennsylvania man was charged with being drunk in public after he was found trying to revive a very dead Opossum on the side of the road with mouth to mouth.

A Pit bull mix is going to obedience school after attacking, chewing a tire and pulling off the bumper of a police cruiser in Chattanooga, Tennessee. (to view attack go to Utube)

Heavy snow again in the Colorado mountains and Denver. Wind chills are in the teens for all of New England.

A tornado reported in North Carolina leaves a hundred and fifty mile swath of damage in its path.

A Bald eagle that was shot and left for dead on a Texas ranch six months ago was released back into the wild yesterday. A bird conservancy removed a shotgun pellet from the bird’s thigh. A wing was badly damaged and three surgeries were performed. (Editor’s note: let me guess, six months ago would have been dove season. What fool would mistaken an eagle for a dove? One who doesn’t care and just wants to shoot or a blind fool!)

There may be grasshopper infestations of “mythical” proportions this summer in Wyoming, Montana, South and North Dakota. (I was there for one of these when I was 10...it was by far one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. You couldn't take a single step without stepping on 10 of them...and they crunched..hung in your hair. YUCK...won't catch me there on vacation. Mrs. BD)

3-30- A Wind Advisory is posted for all of Arizona tomorrow.

The North East is experiencing the wettest March on record. Flood Warnings are issued from Rhode Island to the Carolinas. Meteorologists warn of possible “life threatening” situations due to flooding rivers.

3-31- 50mph winds in Flagstaff and snow level drops to 4500’.

Rhode Island governor says the flooding is the worst in a century. President Obama issues a State of Emergency for the entire state.

Fourteen inches of rain has fallen in Boston this month, breaking the previous record of eleven inches.

I would venture to guess that Mrs. BroadDuck never reads BlueDuck Weather. If she did she would not be swimming with her mate in some gilded pond with tranquil settings. She would be gone with her brood of ducklings and he would be swimming in a sewer reclamation pond. But given to his spurts of “genius” here is his latest offing: “Women are like popsicles and beer, the cheaper they are the better.”

From the elusive RyDuck in his remote location deep in the mountains of Colorado, “ Mosquitoes and flies swarm and bite more than usual twelve hours before a storm, two hours before they quit biting at all. And ants become more active before a weather change.” (You better get ready my friend, mosquitoes and summer are on the way for the high country.)

The quote from the serene and peaceful TwinkyDuck is quite appropriate for March, known as the windy month. “The all time Arizona wind record was recorded at Deer Valley Airport during a microburst on August 14, 1996. Wind gusts up to 115mph were recorded and caused a 160 million dollars worth of damage.”

If I am fortunate enough to continue to send you these fantastic journalistic endeavors for months to come, and you are unfortunate enough to continue reading them, you will read lines I stole from an amazing book. “The River Horse, Across America by Boat” is the true story of two friends who pilot continuous rivers from the mouth of the Atlantic to the mouth of the Pacific. I have had a romantic notion for the past five years or so to raft or boat the Verde River from its spring beginning somewhere near Prescott down to the convergence of the Salt River. The Verde is a river I truly love dating back to my boyhood. And the Verde River, sadly, is a river that will be probably dry like most of the rest in this state. But enough sentimental foolishness. Here is your line for the month: “For a canal or river traveler, there is no such thing as a detour.”

The song for the month is fitting for this life in the desert. “Cactus Flower” by Kevin Deal.

Until next month you can rest assured, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.
Professor MR BlueDuck

February Blue Duck Weather 2010

February 2010 Weather News!


Well, well, well. February proved to be about as wet in Arizona as January. Other parts of the country were blasted with snow, wind and rain as well. The great metropolitan, overcrowded and polluting city known as Phoenix already has more rain than all of last year. As predicted and promised by your great Editor in Chief you will read of cleanup efforts from January’s storms well into February and possibly the effects of February’s weather into March.

As I reported last month the barometer curiosity is brewing in me. And as I promised I won’t bore you any more than you already are with average daily barometer patterns. But I have noticed a pattern during this rainy, not even spring yet. When the weather is fair out here on no man’s land known as the Land the pressure generally is 28.45 to 28.50. Just before it rains, generally the night before the pressure dives to 28.20 to 28.29. The lowest reading with rain was 28.15. It will be interesting to note the barometer readings as the spring and rain give way to high pressure and stable weather conditions. When there is no more rain and I’m sweating my feathered duck’s ass off I will amuse myself by seeing how pressure gradients reflect high wind. When I’m bored with that and it is 115 degrees I will simply put a bullet in my weather station and be done with the whole boring mess.

In this exciting thought provoking edition of Blue Duck Weather that will leave your head swaying side to side until you start drooling on yourself like a cow pounded in the head with a mallet you will learn much more than just the weather around the world. Don’t wait to read about a cat that foresees death, Gothic kittens, the adjustments for the Presidential motorcade during bad weather, the presumably end of the mustang roundups in Nevada, record amounts of snow fall in the East and record number of days the federal government closed shop due to bad weather, “kissing bug” news just in time for Valentine’s Day, a victory for my love of the Verde River, wildlife violations reached a record in Arizona in 2009 (the economy or brutality?), once again an animal turns on a trainer, a canine record set right here in good old Tucson, Arizona, and much more. Don’t go away!

The average temperature at the Land did not change much from the beginning of the month to the end, 2.50 degrees warmer. At Talking Trees and Antelope Hill it was one degree warmer. The average temperature at the Land for the month was 53.75 degrees. The average temperature at the other mysterious high country pieces of land in New Mexico was 32.40 degrees, “colder than a ticket taker’s smile at the Ivar theater on a Saturday night”.

The average humidity on The Land was a damp 50.87 % and the average dew point was 38.31 degrees.

The average wind speed was 4.54mph.

The Land received .55’’ of rain for the month for a total of 2.81 inches for the year. An impressive amount of rain fell at Sky Harbor International Airport where they record weather information and usually don’t get shit. 1.36’’ of rain fell on that greasy location with a total for the year of 3.79’’! I can guarantee you with a quack that parts of northern Maricopa county have received over 12’’ of rain so far this year. I noticed today that New River is still running with a good flow.

It is probably useless, or at least outdated, to report lake levels in Arizona. By the time you read this they will have more water than the recording data reported to me by unnamed sources. I heard that the SRP reservoir system has enough water to give the thirsty desert communities three years of water. In any event the biggest lakes of the southwest have not benefited. Mead keeps shrinking and is 42% full. Lake Powell holds its own at 57%. And now the weather news you live for each month to read!

2-1- The Hopi and Navajo tribes in northern Arizona are still cut off from storms. Harsh weather hampers relief efforts. Twenty five helicopter missions to drop supplies have been cancelled due to fog. There are twenty two thousand square miles affected.

Lake levels are rising fast after recent rains. San Carlos, almost dry, rose 63,000 acre feet. Roosevelt grew from 76% to 94%. Horseshoe Lake rose from 26% to 91%.

Five days after ice storm hit Oklahoma 80,000 still without power.

A cat named Oscar, kept by a nursing home, regularly predicted patient’s deaths by snuggling alongside them during their final hours. He has been right fifty times. “The staff noticed that Oscar would spend his days pacing from room to room. He sniffed and looked at patients but rarely spent time with anyone except when they had just hours to live.” Oscar is accurate enough that staffers know it’s time to call family members when he stretches beside a patient. (Editor’s note: The lovely Mrs. Blueduck is so in tune with her animals they know when she is hurting somewhere and they either avoid the injured area or give her extra affection. When I walk in a room they hiss, howl, growl and run down the hall. I have no idea why.)

2-2-. Almost two weeks after a flooded New River in Black Canyon City, Arizona wiped out the River’s Edge RV Park displaced residents are without a place to return to. The county has posted signs which read “unfit for occupancy.” There were ninety residents before the flood, there are five left.

With temperatures as low as 58 degrees below zero 1.7 million Mongolia, China sheep livestock have frozen to death. 21,000 herder families are at risk of “food insecurity”. One third of the people in Mongolia herd livestock for a living. 14,000 Red Cross volunteers are in the area.

According to Punxsutawney Phil’s annual prediction there are six more weeks of winter. The world’s most famous groundhog saw his shadow and the onlookers got drunk.

2-3- The death of an eighty eight year old woman in northern Arizona is being blamed on the storms that hit the state in the last month. Window Rock police report she went to visit a family member last week. Her vehicle got stuck in the mud and she decided to continue on foot. Her body was found twenty five yards from her vehicle.

Billionaire Ted Turner is receiving 88 Yellowstone Buffalo on his ranch in New Mexico. The Montana program to place disease free bison on public lands has failed.

2-5- The Governor of Arizona approves additional million dollars of aid for the Navajo Nation. Some of the elderly cannot eat MREs. They don’t understand the instructions because they are in English.

A Court has ruled that Prescott can tap into underground water which will dry up the Verde River downstream.
Multiple Winter Weather Storm Warnings have been issued by the National Weather Service from Baltimore into the Virginias. The East Coast is bracing for record breaking snow. Flights and schools have been cancelled. Food is “flying off the shelves of stores” as residents prepare. Federal government employees in Washington, D.C. were given the day off today to prepare. The Presidential motorcade changes to four wheel drive vehicles.

Cyclone Oli slams the French Polynesian with 120mph winds and waves up to twenty six feet high. All roads are closed.

A rare shark attack in south Florida kills a kite boarder. Once the man started bleeding it set off a shark feeding frenzy.

A Pennsylvania woman has been accused of animal cruelty after marketing “gothic kittens” on the Internet. The kittens has neck and ear piercing.

2-6- A Flash Flood Warning is issued for Mohave County, Arizona.

Near Los Angeles mudslides sweep cars away and pushed furniture out of homes. Crews are going door to door and urging people to get out of their homes in the La Canada Flintridge area.

There is so much snow in the D.C. area the National Zoo and the Smithsonian museums are closed today.

“Freak” winter rains across Mexico collapses hillsides, flooded rivers over their banks and left 29 people dead or missing. More than half the country is affected. Many homes are flooded in Central Mexico.

The Bureau of Land Management has concluded the roundup of 2000 wild Mustangs in Nevada. Activists unsuccessfully sued to stop the roundup saying it was inhumane and unnecessary.

A Rhode Island man has been charged for “illegally operating on a pet.” The man is disabled and said he couldn’t afford a vet. He removed a cyst from his dog, an infection occurred and professionals had to operate. ( Editor’s note: I applaud the man for trying to do something. There was a time in this country when all measures to help people and animals were done by the family or friends as there were no doctors or quacks to be found. If you fed someone a quart of whiskey and sawed their leg off to save them, today you would be charged with cruel and inhumane acts, if not murder if the person died.)

The Mexican wolf count has dropped by ten from a year ago in New Mexico and Arizona. Fish and Wildlife Service officials are troubled by this decline. The project began with thirteen wolves in 1998. The project grew to fifty two before the wolf population declined again. If this project is not a success extinction is likely.

2-7- Winter Weather Advisories are posted for the Rim country and Flagstaff receives 12’’ of snow.

The Mid Atlantic digs out of an “epic” blizzard. Duller International Airport shattered the record of snowfall with 32’’. This snow comes less than two months when a December storm dumped 16’’ in Washington. According to the National Weather Service Washington has gotten more than a foot of snow only thirteen times since 1870.
Hundreds of thousands are without power in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Virginia.

2-8- Some areas of northern Arizona have accumulated more than twenty feet of snow this season.

Two hundred and thirty thousand government workers in D.C. get the day off to dig out of the snow.

Residents of the foothills communities north of L.A. are allowed to return home after mudslide danger subsides. Eight hundred homes were evacuated, forty three damaged and nine declared unfit to enter. Twenty five vehicles were damaged my rocks, mud and water.

In Switzerland a twenty one year old skier buried beneath an avalanche was pulled out alive after being trapped for seventeen hours. Although he couldn’t move from the crushing weight of the snow he was in an air pocket and could breathe. A spokesman said “I’ve never heard of such a case before. It is very difficult to survive more than forty five minutes beneath an avalanche.” The skier suffered only minor hypothermia.

2-9- Residents of the Tonto Basin in Gila County, Arizona are still cut off on the east side of Tonto Creek from January’s rains. It is a remote area halfway between Roosevelt Lake and Payson. Food, water and medicine is being brought to them by two and a half ton trucks that can ford the swollen creek.

Five hundred homes in north L.A. are being evacuated due to mudslide predictions.

Heavy snow in Bulgaria and Romania disrupts all motor travel. People are urged not to drive, even in cities.

The Mustang roundup in eastern Nevada is halted until after the spring foaling season.

2-10- A Winter Storm Warning is issued for S.E. Arizona above 7000’. A Winter Storm Watch is issued for Tucson.

The federal government in D.C. shuts down for third day due to snow, blizzards and whiteout conditions. Snow is falling from northern Virginia to Connecticut. Blizzard Warnings are issued for New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland. New York City closes all schools.

Flash Flood Warnings are issued in southern California and five hundred more residents are evacuated due to mudslide threats.

2-11- Snowfall in D.C. breaks a record set way back in 1898. The city has 54.9’’ for the season. A new record in Philadelphia of 70.3’’ for the season and Baltimore with 72.3’’ of snow for the season.
A new record for the federal government for closing four days in a row due to weather.

Rare snowfall in Atlanta and the Dallas, Fort Worth areas.

A heat wave in Brazil, with temperatures up to 102 degrees have killed thirty two elderly people.

More than forty percent of kissing bugs collected by Tucson researchers carry parasites that can be deadly to humans. The disease known as Chagar kills thousands of people each year in Central and South America.

2-12- The Salt River Project in Arizona and Prescott and Prescott Valley have struck a deal to protect the Verde River from being totally depleted of water. Cities can tap into the aquifer if the river “isn’t hurt.” The cities can draw up to 2.6 billion gallons of water per year but will ensure wells do not siphon water from the Verde. The Verde River is one of Arizona’s last continuously flowing rivers.

Parts of the South are receiving record snowfalls and the first snow in ten years. With snow as far south as Florida all fifty states have some snow. The Dallas, Fort worth areas received eleven inches of snow breaking the old record of seven inches. There is snow in Mississippi, Alabama and Louisiana. I-49 in central Louisiana is closed.

The Obama administration has released 490 million dollars in emergency heating funds. Since the South has been unusually cold it is receiving the bulk of the funds. For the first time unemployment is factored into where the funds will be allocated.

American Samoa is getting prepared for Cyclone Rene with wind gusts of 80mph. All schools are closed.

A Green Bay, Wisconsin man is accused of killing ex girlfriend’s puppy by placing it in a hot oven. He broke into her apartment and when she returned home the apartment was filled with smoke and the dog’s body was found in the oven. (Editor’s note; this sick bastard should be placed in a giant pizza oven and allowed to bake until well done. His carcass should then be fed to the dogs.)(Mrs. BLue duck adds to take this sick fucker and shove his ass in the oven and crank it up!)

2-13-. In 2009 Arizona Game and Fish received 768 reports of wildlife violations through its program Operation Game Thief. There were 451 reports in 2008.

Snow days for school children mean less food for many. Tens of thousands of kids miss out on free or reduced priced lunches when schools are closed.

Cyclone Rene slams the U.S. Territory of American Samoa with wind gusts up to 103mph.

The warmest January ever recorded in Vancouver, Canada.

A chimpanzee mauled and seriously injured a twenty one year old volunteer at a Florida primary sanctuary.

Five seal lions are shot to death near Seattle, Oregon. One was a Stellar sea lion protected by the Endangered Species Act.

2-15- The South received the second snow storm this past weekend with four to six inches of snow in Georgia and Alabama.

The drought is so bad in Hawaii some residents have water hauled and delivered. About a third of the homes there rely in part on rainwater catching systems.

One man is dead another feared buried in an avalanche in the Chugach National Forest near Anchorage, Alaska. They were snowmobiling and the man killed was the head of Conoco Phillips Oil Company of Alaska. (Editor’s note: Don’t matter how important or rich you are when Mother Nature decides to slap you dead.)

2-16- A food drive is started for the Navajo Nation in northern Arizona. People there are still affected from three storms in January.

Snow and ice cover parts of the South again from Tennessee to northern Alabama.

Twenty eight Pilot whales are dead or euthanized by conservation workers after a mass beaching in New Zealand. It is the fourth mass beaching in recent months.

2-17- This past January in Arizona was the fifth wettest on record. All SRP reservoirs are near capacity and will supply two year’s of water. It has been twenty years since this much moisture has occurred but the drought is not over for northern Arizona.

The body of a veteran climber was recovered in the crater of Mount. St. Helens. He was posing for a photograph at the edge of a crater when the snow gave away. He fell fifteen hundred feet. Clouds and strong winds delayed rescue efforts earlier this week.

2-21- A Winter Storm Warning is posted for northern and eastern Arizona.

A mother and two young children have fallen through lake ice and drowned in St. Claire county, Illinois.

Thirty two people are dead from flooding on the Portuguese island of Madeira.

A micro burst caused a Canadian sailing ship to sink off of the coast of Brazil. Sixty four young students on a “dream cruise” were rescued after thirty hours in life rafts.

2-22- Hail in Carefree, Arizona. I-17 closed near Flagstaff. One foot of snow at the Snow Bowl in the last twenty four hours.

There are forty two people dead and thirty two missing in the resort town of Madeira. Three hundred and seventy people are homeless. All of the victims either drowned or were crushed by debris from flooding. Official’s said a month’s worth of rain fell in about eight hours.

2-23- 1.14 inches of rain fell in Apache Junction, Arizona in the last three days.

Nineteen people reported missing in Madeira are found alive. There are still thirteen not found. This has been the deadliest storm on the island since the late 1800s.

A landslide triggered by heavy rains kills five plantation workers and buries sixty others in Jakarta, Indonesia.

Three California condors are found dead in northern Arizona last month died because of lead poisoning. They ingested lead pellets from guns when eating carrion. There are only 350 living condors in the United States.

A Tucson Great Dane is named the tallest dog in the world by the Guinness World Records. The 250 pound dog stands three feet, seven inches from the paw to the shoulder.

2-24- Portions of I-17 near Black Canyon City, Arizona may be closed without notice. With over fifteen inches of rain since the beginning of the year landslides could occur at any time allowing rock and earth to fall onto the freeway. It would effect south bound lanes between Sunset Point and Black Canyon City.

Two feet of snow falls in Albany, New York. There are one hundred and sixty thousand without power.

At least forty six people are feared dead after mudslide in Indonesia.

Twenty six inches of snow in Moscow breaks a record set in 1966.

A Killer whale at Sea World in Florida turns on a trainer and kills her. The whale grabbed her pony tail and thrashed her around in the tank killing her. The largest Killer whale in captivity has a history of turning on trainers. Another trainer was killed in 1991 and a man who jumped into the tank in 1999. Trainers were not allowed to swim with this whale. (update...whale is going to be allowed to perform again)

2-25- A second storm is hammering the North East. Flood Warnings are issued for Boston and Philadelphia. One to two inches of rain falling per hour.

Arizona may lose Endangered Species protection for the desert nesting Bald eagles of Central Arizona. This is the only place in the country where protection from the Act still exists. The Fish and Wildlife Service posted a petition with a federal court to have the eagles removed from the list. They are confident the birds “would survive a delisting.”

Eight wild turkeys have been released by Arizona Game and fish into the Santa Rita Mountains of southern Arizona. They have released one hundred Gould’s turkeys since 2007. Turkey numbers in the Santa Rita have declined in recent years due to lack of rainfall and predators driven from their habitat due to urbanization.

A Mohave, Arizona woman has been arrested after dead and abused dogs were found in her home. She ran an unlicensed animal shelter and neighbors complained after a “foul smell” was coming from her residence.

2-26- Wind Advisories posted for central Arizona tomorrow. Snow levels will drop to five thousand feet by 2-28.

9.4 inches of snow falls in Central Park, New York breaking a record set in 1874. All city schools are closed.

Seven hundred thousand people are without power in the North East. A wind gust of 90mph was reported in New Hampshire. Wind there flamed a hotel fire and shut down an entire block of businesses.

Snow throughout the United States has caused a spike in already high unemployment.

A 2.6 million gallon aquarium in Dubai springs a leak scaring people away from the mall attraction. Thirty three thousand fish, including sharks live in the aquarium.

2-27- A Winter Weather Advisory is posted for northern and eastern Arizona from eleven am to three p.m. tomorrow. A Wind Advisory is issued for the Phoenix area.

As of today there are a half million people without power in the North East, one hundred thousand in New Hampshire. Some residents are warned they may be without power for a week due to high winds uprooting trees and knocking down utility poles.

More than four hundred Bighorn sheep have died from pneumonia this winter in Nevada, Montana, Utah and Washington. More than half are in Montana.

A Colorado snow boarder survived three days on a single energy bar after becoming lost during a whiteout. He says he’s ready to hit the slopes again. This time he will carry a personal locator beacon.

2-28- A Microburst is reported in Cave Creek, Arizona. Over an inch of rain falls there, Surprise, Paradise Valley and Apache Junction.

The Mighty Broadduck reports ten inches of snow on the ground in the deep woods of Michigan.

Flash Flood warnings in L.A. shut down portions of I-10 east bound.

Still two hundred thousand people without power in the North East, one hundred thousand of them in New Hampshire. Shelters are set up to provide warmth and food.

Rain and hurricane force winds kill fifty one in France, Germany and Spain. The storm named Xynthia, is a cyclone depression. It is the worst storm since 1999 and the National Weather Service had warned to would be violent. Nine hundred thousand people in France are without power. Winds reached 130mph on the summits of the Pyrenees and 100mph along the Atlantic Coast.

The quote of the month from the Mighty Broadduck is deep and profound as usual. “All women appreciate a compliment, but never tell your better half that she reminds you of your favorite musical group if it is Super Tramp.

RyDuck dispels some myths about determining how far away lightning is by counting after one sees the strike. One of the long time standards has been to count in seconds until you hear the thunder. Actually to determine the distance of a lightning strike count the seconds between the strike and thunder and divide by five to get the answer in miles. ( This means it is a lot closer than thought if you counted the old way.)

The beautiful TwinkyDuck’s contribution is perfect for the amount of snow this state and the country has had in the last two months. “ The greatest snowfall recorded in Phoenix in one season was one inch. The most snow recorded in a winter season in Arizona was 400.9 inches as Sunrise Mountain during the winter of 1972-1973. The United States record is 1140 inches (95 feet) which fell at the Mount Baker Ski area in Washington during the winter of 1998-99.”

The quote I am stealing from the author William Least Heat- Moon is as follows; “…poor maps, like muffed weather reports, make for adventure….and failure.”

The song of the month is “There Ain’t No Bad Weather In Heaven” by Skid Tanner and the Skillet Lickers. And there you have it my faithful readers. Until next month remember;
Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.

The Honorary, Award Winning and Distinguished MR BlueDuck

January 2010 Blue Duck Weather

January 2010 Weather News!

Just as December’s weather was largely based on Arizona weather, January weather was headline news. Some say the three back-to-back storms in the third week of January were the worst since 1993, some say the worst ever. In one week Phoenix received two thirds of the amount of rainfall seen all of last year. So are we in for the mysterious wet spring and pattern of storms known as El Nino? When this pattern sets up it seems like the rain can be timed weekly almost.

I have never been a serious student of barometric pressure. I know that generally low pressure means rain or wind. High pressure generally means calm weather and out here in the desert where no duck should live, it means ass blistering heat in the summer. But what struck me happened on January 21st. Phoenix recorded an all time low barometric pressure reading of 29.20. It was said this low of pressure is in “hurricane territory.” Interestingly enough there was an unofficial tornado sighting on this day in Scottsdale. The Lovely Mrs. Blueduck swears that the pressure affects her agonizing migraine headaches. (I personally feel editing shit gives her headaches beyond belief.) I will continue to monitor pressure reading but will not bore my loyal readers with averages, etc. I will only report when the pressure drops and our house is swept away to Oz.

So, thinking ahead what does all of this rain mean? It certainly is needed however I have only to look forward to severe allergies and weeds up to my waist. If I don’t mow them, come June it will be a tinder box. Life ain’t easy for a duck “named Rue”and it seems I ain’t ever satisfied. No rain, too much rain. No desert grass and forage for quail and other critters. Too much grass and rattle snakes are hiding in wait and the wild fires are waiting to be kindled in my nightmares. Too cold, too hot and blah, blah, blah.

I think the aftermath of the storm in January will linger on much later, well into February. Your fine staff at Blueduck Weather will monitor the reports long after the “prize winning” news sharks attack their next carrion. You have my promise as your humble Editor in Chief. No weather stone is left unturned if it is not blown or washed away. If you read nothing else in this weather report you must glue your eyes the weather events in Arizona beginning January 17th through the end of the month. You will see the climactic changes that happened before, during and after the storms. This is fine piece of weather journalism that truly will be awarded another Duckitzer award. But beyond that you will see how much weather affects our daily lives beyond our existences in our little warm homes and our little warm cars. There are people you will read about that have endured as harsh of conditions as the settlers hundreds of years ago.

The average temperature at the Land for January was 1.5 degrees warmer than the beginning of the month. This is a sign of things to come and in June you will be crying when you read this. The average temperature for the month was 52.37 degrees.

The average temperature for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill at 7400’ in New Mexico was 6.50 degrees warmer at the end of the month. The average temperature was an ooshy 35.92 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was a wet 52.37 percent and the average dew point was 39.97 degrees. There was even dense fog on January 29th. It is worth reporting since it is such a rare occurrence in the desert. I saw it coming with my vast weather knowledge and asked BeckPeck to check with her bus driver as to what they do when the fog sets in. She had no idea what fog was or what to ask the driver so she told me the driver “sprays something on his windshield but hadn’t had to do it yet.” I think the bus driver thought she was talking about ice. She got her first immersion into fog that morning and now will never forget what it is. I was amazed by her excitement and impressed the bus showed up to pick her up with all the other ducklings ready for school.

The average wind speed on The Land was 3.78mph.

The rain for the month, and the new year, on The Land was an impressive 2.28 inches.

These lake level report for Arizona will be blown away by next month’s readings from all of the rain. I read that Lake Pleasant rose thirteen feet in a week after all of the rain we received. I would not have wanted to be staked to the beach near water by some vicious Blue Duck during those days, a slow and cruel death indeed.

Lake Pleasant is at 83% and Roosevelt at 76%. Without heavy Rocky Mountain snow pack runoff Lake Meade will continue to dwindle and stands at 41%. The mighty Powell by its one hundred and forty mile length is 58%.

Only in BlueDuck Weather will you read about more fucking poachers, the only in Maricopa report, wild hogs (not javelina) in Arizona, the Sunshine State in the news for record cold, a winter statistic not usually found, Chihuahua in the news again, Olympic committee concerned over lack of snow, the woes of Lake Mead continue, good and bad news about bark beetles, only the second time I have ever heard of a one hundred percent chance of rain, heart breaking flood tragedy near Dewey, Arizona, the cruel fate of a hamster, the strongest wind gust recorded in the world and about a very lucky dog and a very unlucky one. (I swear, we don’t make this shit up.)

1-1-10. A mudslide kills fifteen at a Brazilian resort lodge after New Year’s celebration. The hillside lodge and houses collapsed after being struck by mud and boulders two hundred yards wide. (Happy fucking New Year.)

Prescott, Arizona Police shoot and kill a bobcat suspected of having rabies. It was attacking vehicles in the Prescott Lake subdivision. (?)

Arizona Game and Fish is seeking information on two wildlife poaching cases. A spike bull Elk was shot and left to waste during the evening of December 10th near Williams. The kill was during a cow elk only hunt.

Another poacher killed a large antlered mule deer sometime during the week of December 14th along the Arizona Strip. This deer was shot in the head, which was removed and hidden in a tree. The poacher removed some of the meat and left the rest to waste. There was not a deer hunt when the poaching happened.

Cancer is wiping out the Tasmanian Devil population. Their numbers are down seventy percent and they are on the Endangered Species List. They spread a fast killing cancer when they bite each other’s faces. (No wonder they are called devils. I wonder if the term “don’t bite my face off” came from these bastards?)

Police discover 450 dead animals in a home in Philadelphia. The animals were used in some kind of religious ritual.

1-2-10. Seventy degree high at The Land and the warmest temperature in a month. The record high in Phoenix was 81 degrees in 1981.

Northern New England receiving heavy snow and strong winds with a foot of snow and 45mph gusts.

36 degrees below zero in International Falls and 35 below in Grand Forks, Idaho, are new records for this day. There is a saying amongst weather geeks. “There is nothing between Canada and Texas except barbed wire fence when it comes to winter cold dropping south.”

The death toll from the mudslide in Brazil climbs to 26. It was prompted by ten inches of rain that have fallen since December 30th.

Four trains collide in northern India caused by dense fog. Ten people are killed and forty seven injured.

1-3-10. Arctic cold pours into New England and the Midwest with temperatures as low as thirty seven degrees below zero. Massachusetts receives ten inches of snow and huge waves. Forecasters say the storm locations makes it unusual since most systems come in from the south (see RyDucks nature weather observation in last month’s exciting issue of BluDuck Weather) and push their way north gathering strength as they get to the Gulf of Maine.

Three hundred thousand people are deployed ( I assume this means ordered by the government) to shovel unusually heavy snow falls in Beijing, China. In this country a “yellow alert” means that snowfall will become heavier. (To me a yellow alert means pissing in the snow.) Beijing winters are usually cold and bone dry.

2009 had more rabies cases than any other year in Arizona history. Two hundred and sixty one animals tested positive. Avoid wildlife that appears sick or aggressive.

An entire pack of wolves will be eliminated near Butte, Montana. Montana wildlife officials approve plan after at least four wolf attacks on cattle.

1-4-10. 2009 was the second driest year in Phoenix in thirty years. The driest on record is 2002.

Record cold temperatures in the East and Midwest. Lows are in the twenties in Florida with a threat to citrus crops. The high in Atlanta, Georgia is thirty two degrees. The Northern Plains reaches a high of ten degrees. The Mid Plains drop to forty below zero.
Burlington, Vermont sets a single day snow record with 32.50 inches of snow over the weekend.

The death toll from the mudslides in Brazil are up to seventy five. A nuclear power plant is closed as a precaution.

With ten inches of snow in Seoul, South Korea is experiencing the heaviest snowfall in seventy years.

Four skiers are killed by avalanches in the Swiss Alps. The search is on for three more missing.

Wildlife managers are keeping a close eye on the wild hog population in Arizona after seeing what the pigs can do in other parts of the country. They are adaptable and will eat just about anything. These hogs are descendents of domestic pigs brought here by the Spanish in 1539. There are five hundred to a thousand hogs located in Cochise, Pima, Yavapai and La Paz counties.

In Lincoln, Nebraska a twenty two year old man has been charged with animal cruelty for running a cat through the spin cycle of a washing machine. The thing lived. (Editor’s note; at least he didn’t run the poor thing through the wash cycle.)

1-5-10. Twelve degrees in Nashville.

The search continues in Maine for an eighteen year old riding a snow mobile who disappeared in a storm four days ago.

1-6-10. From his secluded location in the mountains of Colorado, RyDuck reports nine degrees with light snow at two forty five in the afternoon.

Hard Freeze Warning issued along the Gulf Coast and the Florida Panhandle with temperatures in the low teens. Many homes in the South weren’t built for extreme cold. They have un-insulated pipes and heat pumps that run continuously, barely keeping up.

Two inches of snow in northern Ohio with six inches yesterday. West Virginia receives eight inches of snow and Kentucky five inches.

The U.K. is experiencing the worst cold in decades. Some areas received sixteen inches of snow. There were so many rescues in southern England the Coast Guard had to be brought in to help.

Only in the “new” Maricopa: “A report of animal noise was called in after a coyote was in a backyard making unusual loud noises.”

1-7-10. Across Florida oranges and strawberries are freezing, icicles are hanging from palm trees, and iguanas paralyzed by the cold are falling out of trees.

With the wind chill it is fifty two degrees below zero in North Dakota.

A lone elephant charged out of the brush near Mount Kenya and trampled to death an American hiker and her one year old.

A dozen Chihuahuas are flying from San Francisco to New York human style, in the main cabin of the plane. The homeless dogs helped by the American Society For The Prevention Of The Cruelty To Animals. The little pooches are still in high demand in New York.

1-8-10. Cold continues to grip the Mid West, South and the East with no end in sight. As accidents increase, people are told to stay home if possible. One crash in snowy Ohio kills four people. Snow is the heaviest in Minnesota and South Dakota. Snow has fallen as far south as Alabama and Georgia. Schools are closed in ten states.

In Florida giant Eagle rays, Spinner sharks and two hundred Manatees have sought refuge from the cold in a warm canal outside of a power plant.

1-9-10. With eight inches of snow in Chicago one Amtrak passenger train is delayed by eighteen hours.

In Pittsburgh and surrounding areas it has snowed every day since New Year’s Day.

Portland, Oregon has sustained winds of one hundred mph.

A Hard Freeze Warning has been issued for the South with fifteen to twenty five degree lows.

Britain is in the midst of the longest cold snap in thirty years. Seven degrees reported in Scotland and northern England.

Thirty Pronghorn antelope will be released south east of Safford, Arizona.

1-10-10. Four hundred million dollars of strawberries and nine hundred million dollars of citrus at risk in Florida due to hard freezes recently. Tonight to be the coldest with twenty five degrees.

Three people, all in the same family, in Vermont die when their snowmobile goes through the ice in a lake. They were only one hundred yards from shore.

A Javelina that bit a Marana, Arizona man tested positive for rabies. The man was hiking when he was bitten on the right arm and leg. The pig was shot and killed by a Marana police officer.
1-11-10. One hundred thousand tropical fish raised on a fish farm in South Florida couldn’t bear the cold and died. There was ice o n the farmers seventy six ponds. The loss represents five hundred and thirty-five thousand dollars.

And here my faithful readers is a rare winter statistic. Ninety eight percent of Americans say “Oh shit” before going in the ditch off a slippery road. The other two percent are from Kentucky (and probably Ohio) and they say “Hold my beer and watch this!”

1-12-10. Nine new record low temperatures are recorded in Florida cities. Miami broke a record previously set in 1927. It was thirty six degrees today. The coldest was Tallahassee at fourteen degrees.

Giraffes once owner by Michael Jackson are found dead in an animal sanctuary in Page, Arizona. Foul play or abuse is suspected.

1-13-10. A Wind Advisory is posted for Yuma and La Paz counties with 45mph winds expected.

A Hippo escaped from a flooded zoo in Montenegro shocking villagers as she strolled past houses.

A man who had hundreds of live and dead Chihuahuas in his Detroit home has pleaded guilty to animal cruelty charges. The man was hording dogs and some dead dogs were in freezers. The dogs may have been killed with an injection. (Sick fucking Bastard!)

1-14-10. Vancouver Olympic planners dismiss worries about melting snow and unusual spring like weather. Rain has been melting snow but officials say they will bring snow down from higher elevations if needed.

Due to drought and the lack of hydro electric production from dams Venezuela begins nation wide energy rationing with rolling blackouts of four hours every other day.

1-16-10. In Florida a twelve foot Anaconda is blamed for missing geese, chickens and ducks at East Lake.

1-17-10. A Winter Storm Advisory is issued for northern Arizona. We are expected to receive the weather system that has battered California with rain and snow. The Sierra Nevada Mountains have received up to ten feet of snow.

1-18-10. A Weather Alert is issued for the entire state of Arizona for the entire week. Heavy rain, flooding and snow expected.

Lake Mead will probably shrink further this year with little help from Lake Powell upstream. Water levels aren’t expected to rise enough this spring for Powell to release extra water to feed Mead. That would leave Lake Mead within two feet of the level to trigger water shortages for Arizona, Nevada and California.

Authorities have ordered the evacuation of one hundred Southern California homes today because of heavy rain and the fear of mud slides. Recent fires have left nothing to support the ground from quick rain erosion, collapse and runoff.

Floods in Israel and Egypt collapsing some homes. Rains of this amount are rare in these mostly arid regions and result in sudden flashfloods. Seven people have been killed.

A Scottish ski center closes because of too much snow. Heavy equipment had to be brought in to clear the deep drifts that had blocked the approach road during two days of a blizzard.

1-19-10. A Winter Storm Warning is issued for Payson and Show Low, Arizona. Ten inches of snow fell in Flagstaff yesterday.

It rained so hard in Southern California Disneyland is closed and power out to thousands because of strong winds. A rare Tornado Watch was issued for south Los Angeles. A 1993 record was broken in Burbank with 1.55’’ of rain.

The Pine beetle infestation may be easing in Colorado and Wyoming. More than two and half million acres of pine have been devastated. After fifteen years the beetles are leaving to find fresh wood to devour.

A hunter has found the remains of a man missing from Tucson for nearly a year. No cause of death has been established.

1-20-10. Another foot of snow fell in Flagstaff last night. I-17 is closed from Camp Verde to Flagstaff. I-40 is closed from between Flagstaff and Williams. I-8 near Highway 85 is closed due to flooding. Oak Creek in Sedona may reach eighteen feet above flood stage and evacuations may be necessary. A High Wind Advisory is issued and 50mph winds are possible. One hundred percent chance of rain tomorrow night into Friday. (The last time I heard a one hundred percent rain forecast RyDuck and yours truly was trapped by a flooded wash for twenty hours. We survived on tamales, beer and whiskey.)

High winds flip a SUV in Huntington Beach, California . A tree crashes through a home killing a woman after a Tornado Warning was issued. Mandatory evacuations are ordered near Los Angeles because of potential mudslides.

According to the National Climate Data Center 2000 through 2009 has been the warmest decade surpassing the pervious hottest decade of the nineties. In 2009 global surface temperatures were 1.01 degrees warmer than normal. “The planet may be warming at a potentially disastrous rate.”

And in the Maricopa Communicator newspaper this happened in Hidden Valley, the home of outlaws, outcasts and one crazy (Lonesome Dove) BlueDuck: “Several dead and mutilated horses were found in the desert.” Sounds like the real Blue Duck has paid an evil visit.

1-21-10. The third Pacific snow this week hits Arizona. Another foot of snow in Flagstaff. But this storm is warmer and flooding is feared as snow melts at lower elevations. A Flash Flood Watch has been issued for northern and central Arizona. A High Wind Advisory is issued for southern Arizona.

A Tornado Watch issued until ten p.m. for all of Maricopa, Pinal and La Paz counties. The governor declares a State of Emergency for the entire state. 5.38 inches of rain have fallen in Black Canyon City. Oak Creek may reach twenty one feet above flood stage. Creek side residents are urged to evacuate. Chains needed for the Salt River Canyon. I-17 still closed north of Sedona. 53mph wind gusts at Sky Harbor International Airport.

Mandatory evacuations are ordered in the Los Angeles foothill communities below the fire scarred San Gabriel Mountains due to mudslides.

A Mid West ice storm knocks out power to thousands.

Olympic officials say they will be trucking in snow for the free style skiing and snow boarding events on Cyprus Mountain in Vancouver.

A 2007 U.N. report that read Himalayan glaciers were melting so fast they may be gone by 2035 was not backed by scientific fact.

1-22-10. Arizona weather made National news today. There has been five straight days of snow in Flagstaff. This city is cut off from the rest of the state for road traffic. No flights were allowed in or out of Sky Harbor last night due to wind. Highway 60 is closed from Globe to Show Low. 9.25’’ of rain have fallen in Black Canyon City and trailer parks are evacuated. Winter Storm Warnings are still in effect and a Flood Warning is posted until ten fifteen p.m. There was an unofficial report of a tornado in Scottsdale.

My sincere sympathy goes out to a Dewey family who tried to get their sick son to a hospital. They were trapped in a flooded wash in their vehicle. All survived except the six year old boy who was swept away. I think it was an extreme act of bravery to try and get their son to a hospital at any cost, tragically they paid the highest cost of all.

1-23-10. Body of six year old who was swept away is found by hikers.

The Arizona National Guard flies water and medical supplies to residents of Black Canyon City. Wendon’s residents were evacuated and parts of the small community in western Arizona had six feet of water. Forty houses in Arizona City, south of Casa Grande are partially under water. The National Weather Service reports “the biggest weather system to hit Arizona in nearly two decades flooded small towns, caused a train derailment and closed major interstates.”

There is four feet of snow in Flagstaff, the third biggest amount in history, seven inches of rain in Sedona and two inches of rain in Phoenix. Seven counties under States of Emergency.

The Salt River Project is releasing water from its reservoirs. In twenty four hours the storms have added seventy billion gallons of water on the Salt and Verde Rivers.

A Georgia woman is in jail after she forced her son to kill a pet hamster with a hammer. This was punishment for bringing home bad grades.

1-24-10. Four Red Cross shelters are open in Arizona to help flood victims. 89A is still closed from Sedona to Flagstaff. There are ten counties still in State of Emergency.

Six degree low at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill.

California beaches are a mess from garbage washed down from floods. Soggy sofa cushions, rusted shopping carts, dented refrigerators and thousands of cans and food wrappers litter the wasteland.

1-25-10. Residents of Black Canyon City have been cut off by washed out bridge and their water supply pipe is broken. They have been warned if they try to cross the flooded Aqua Fria River they will be arrested. The National Guard is dropping supplies by helicopter. One resident complained about sending millions to Haiti earthquake survivors but she cannot leave her home.
Roosevelt Lake is 92% full and Lake Pleasant has risen thirteen feet since last Saturday.

1-26-10. Upscale home on the Carefree Wash is falling into the wash from flooding. The owner says engineers told him the wash was diverted and his home was on stable ground. (You better listen up, “new” residents of Maricopa.)

Residents of the Navajo Nation in northern Arizona are cut off with snow. They are running out of fuel and water. One man is found dead and others are leaving on foot.

The Kachina Peaks Wilderness Area near Flagstaff has been re-opened after extreme potential for avalanches due to last week’s storms.

Winds cause white out conditions in the Dakotas. Thousands are without power due to winds in Nebraska and Iowa.

Two thousand tourists are stranded in Peru due to heavy rain and mudslides.

Transplants are ruled out for a woman attacked by a “pet” Chimpanzee last February. (You read it here first when it happened by Gawd.) She needs face and hands transplants and they all have to be done at the same time by the same donor.

1-27-10. Rescue teams in northern Arizona are fighting mud and six foot snow drifts to reach people isolated by last week’s storms. They have found livestock frozen in their tracks. Four National Guard helicopters have been deployed and medical helicopters have flown forty people out for immediate medical treatment. These efforts have been aimed at rescuing people from the Hopi Tribe and the Navajo Nation in Apache, Coconino and Navajo counties. Fifteen hundred people need assistance.

Mountain lions have killed three sheep, three cows and attacked a horse in Tuba City. A fire official said he has seen “cattle standing dead in the snow.”

New Hampshire loses the strongest wind gust record in the world to Australia. On Mount Washington in 1934 the winds were recorded at a peak of 231mph. This was topped at Australia’s Barrow Island in 1996 by a wind gust of 243mph. You might ask why this news so long after the fact? Scientists have been arguing and rechecking data to confirm these conclusions. Like Mr. BlueDuck they have nothing better to do.

Tourists are flown out of Machu Piccu in Peru. Rail lines were cut off due to mudslides and U.S. helicopters help with evacuations. Two are killed when mudslides crushed their tents.

More than one hundred Manatees have been found dead in Florida waters since January 1st. They are the victims of a two week cold snap earlier this month. They are already on the Endangered Species List.

1-28-10. Thousands of meals and water bottles have been dropped to the Navajo and Hopi Tribes in northern Arizona. Helicopter drops are suspended today because of snow and dense fog.
The snow total for Flagstaff this season is two hundred and seventeen inches. According to the Flagstaff water manager another foot of snow will fill Lake Mary, supplying Flagstaff with water for two years.

Oregon and Washington waves have grown ten feet since the 1970s. Experts say it is due to global warming and erosion along the coast lines have increased.

Brazil may have to evacuate thousands due to heavy rains and flooding. One hundred people have been killed by mudslides since January 1st. Two dams are near capacity and downstream evacuations are considered. The city of Sao Paulo has had thirty five consecutive days of rain.

1-29-10. A huge ice storm is moving east across the lower U.S. with Texas regions receiving up to a half inch. In Oklahoma every county has declared a State Of Emergency as rain has turned into ice. Hundreds of power poles have snapped under the load and thousands are without power.

Rescuers are hoping to get the remaining tourists out near the Inca citadel in Peru. Hundreds are still stranded by mudslides.

A new report suggests that the slow down in global warming in the last few years appears to have been caused by a decline of water vapor in the stratosphere.

A dog in Poland is rescued after drifting seventy five miles on an ice floe. He was found in the Baltic Sea by a group of ocean research scientists.

1-30-10. Snow in the South as Tennessee digs out from a foot, one foot in Amarillo, Texas and six inches in Nashville. A Federal Disaster Declaration has been issued for all of Oklahoma. There are one hundred and forty thousand without power. This past series of storms have affected thirty million people.

The last backpackers have been rescued in Peru after a week of mudslides.

Twenty six wild Mustangs have died in the controversial roundup in Nevada.

Police accuse a Philadelphia man of pouring alcohol on the family puppy and setting it on fire. The dog may lose sight in one eye. (Mrs. Blue duck says that this along with the hampster murder is cause for a new hunting season on fucking idiots.)

1-31-10. The Polar Bear Plunge has been cancelled in Maryland because it is too cold. The air temperature was twenty three degrees and the water was thirty six degrees. Several idiots tried to take the plunge and had to be treated for hypothermia.

I am sad to announce that one of our contributing editors, The Mighty Broadduck is no longer with the fine staff at BlueDuck Weather. He has flown the coop, taking his quacklings with him to the wilds (I use that word loosely) of Michigan. It is our hopes that he will continue to contribute his insightful, witty, profound, and at times disgusting, monthly words of wisdom. It is also my hope, as your Editor in Chief, he will report weather extremes from his remote location. The Mighty Broadduck was kind enough to send the following coat just before the deadline of this fantastic publication: “Life is a box of chocolates. You try a little but only like some of it.”

From the ever mysterious RyDuck comes his natural revelations about weather phenomenon. “If you can’t see the sharp points on a half moon rain may be on the way.”

And finally from the demure, soft spoken but beautiful TwinkyDuck comes this unworldly weather fact. “A season on Pluto lasts one hundred and twenty years.” Can you imagine one hundred and twenty years of an Arizona desert summer?

The song of the month is “Snow and Rain” by Brandon Rickman.

Until next month, remember, Pioneers too bullets, Settlers took land.

The Distinguished Professor MR BlueDuck

December Blue Duck Weather 2009

December 2009 Weather News!

What the Fuck! I reported that November weather was boring and Old Man Winter sticks his fat muddy cold foot up my feathered ass! Arizona weather made national news with Flagstaff shattering an old record for single most snowfall in a day. The storm was expected but no one thought the amount of snow accumulations would occur like they did. Fifty separate hunters from Williams north to the Grand Canyon were stranded and had to be rescued. A freak weather related accident killed a Tempe firefighter.

December was an exceptionally cold month for parts of Arizona, especially the Land. There were four consecutive days later in the month the morning lows were between 25 and 27 degrees. The average temperature at the Land for the month was only 50.11 degrees. One morning the dew point was -2 degrees making the air feel bone chilling; way below freezing but no moisture to create any ice. Wintering snow birds and tourists out here in our “warm” desert said “the hell with it” and went back home where it was warmer.

In this special year end edition of BlueDuck Weather you will be astounded at the amount of information my fine staff labored tirelessly to report and give to me to compile for my fine readers all around the world. You will find out what was found on a California hiking trail, why December 4th was a highly unusual weather day, A Thanksgiving day waste to report from last month, the definition of a Blizzard Warning, that “acts of cow” are not covered by homeowner’s insurance. You will also learn what “The Eddie” is, A MURDERED DUCK, bad weather seems to equal good fishing, U.S. joins other countries in cloud seeding, woman caught smuggling animal parts in an airport, the fate of the wild Mustang , a two legged dog named “Faith” and snow records shattered over parts of the United States.

It was 9.5 degrees cooler at the Land at the end of the month than the beginning. At talking Trees and Antelope Hill it was 13 degrees cooler.
The average temperature there was an ooshy 27.81 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was 46%. The average dew point was 26.19 degrees.

The average wind speed was 4.17mph.
The rainfall for the year at The Land was 4.56 inches with .18 inches for the month. Phoenix recorded 3.26 inches for the year.

Little rain and the lake levels keep dropping. Lake Mead is at 40% capacity, Pleasant at 63%, Powell at 61% and Roosevelt stands at 76% full.

12-1- The first Lake Effect snow storm of the season has hit western New York.

Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president, has started to bombard clouds now that Cuba has provided help with cloud seeding equipment and planes.

A Burmese python is found on a hiking trail in California. (I would rather deal with a rattler!)

12-2- RyDuck reports from his secluded Colorado position that at 2:15 p.m. it is 15 degrees with a wind of five to fifteen mph.

The phenomenon of warmer surface temperatures in the central and eastern Pacific Ocean, known as El Nino, strengthens considerably. This could create drought and flooding around the world until May according to the U.N.

12-3- Freeze Warnings posted for Mohave County in Arizona. -1 degree at the Grand Canyon.

Zero at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill with an average temperature of only 15.50 degrees.

12-4. First freeze of the year at The Land.

Houston receives the earliest snowfall on record and may receive three to five inches. Since 1895 it has only snowed in Houston thirty three times.

The North East receives strong winds and driving rain knocking out power to thousands of homes and businesses. After the storm the weather cleared and record high temperatures occurred. Boston reached 69 degrees breaking the old record of 65 set back in 1932. Portland got up to 68 degrees crushing the old record of 55 degrees for the date.
Parts of North and South Carolina are under a Tornado Watch. Three inches of rain have fallen in North Carolina.

Moscow has the warmest day on record reaching 50 degrees. The average temperature there in December is 24.8 degrees. Zoo bears are not going into hibernation it is so warm.

An Oregon couple, looking for a Christmas tree, spent two days stuck in their vehicle in a foot of snow. The vehicle high centered on a remote road. They finally placed rocks under the wheels and got free. (They should have brought along the Griswold’s.)

The Arizona Fish and Game Department is offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of those responsible for the illegal killing of an adult Mule deer on Thanksgiving Day. The incident happened near Welton. The deer was shot and left to waste in the desert. Beer cans and trash were left behind.

China is taking Panda bear from the Washington Zoo as it was loaned to the United States. (Perhaps they are worried about our debt?)

12-5- 26 degree low at The Land. Weather Alert issued for northern Arizona.

Snow in the South and North East with four inches of snow in Louisiana, earliest on record. Record lows from Texas to New England. Twenty six degrees in Houston breaks a record set in 1851.

Syracuse, New York has gone 283 days without snow breaking a record.

Brazil rains cause deadly mudslides in Sao Paulo. Twenty dead with rivers rising to roof tops and thousands homeless. Some rivers crested to thirty feet above normal.

12-6- A Blizzard Warning is issued for Flagstaff and the Rim country. High winds and blowing snow above 6000’. A “lock down situation” (first time I have heard of this term for weather) may be needed for residents. Blizzard warnings are rare in northern Arizona because usually the criteria is not met; extremely low visibility, strong winds and heavy snow for more than three hours.

A Tucson judge has threatened to sentence a man twenty five days in jail for leaving jugs of water in the desert for migrants to drink. In August a judge ordered the same man to pick up trash for three hundred hours and banned from Buenos Aires National Wildlife Preserve where he had been “littering.”

12-7- A Blizzard Warning is still in effect for northern Arizona. There is one foot of snow in Flagstaff already, shattering and old record of five inches set back in 1956. The snow level is expected to drop down to 4000’.

A Flash Flood Watch is posted for the Phoenix metro area. One inch of rain in Cave Creek and roads in New River are washed out.

The biggest waves in recent memory are happening in Hawaii. Swells could reach 50’ high and surfers from around the world are traveling there. (Must be nice to just pick up and go to where the waves are.)

12-8- Last night’s storm in Phoenix has left 85,000 without power. 74mph winds reported at Deer Valley Airport (Category 1 hurricane winds.) Two inches of rain fell in Cave Creek and Flagstaff has received two feet of snow in 24 hours. I-40 closed east and west of Flagstaff. An Avalanche Warning has been posted for the San Francisco Peaks.

A freak accident takes the life of a firefighter in last night’s storm. He was camping and hunting elk near Payson. A tree snapped and crushed him in his tent. His partner was uninjured.

A 70’ tall tree in Phoenix was blown over and crushed two vehicles. It took two cranes to remove the trees.

You read about it first right here in BlueDuck Weather last year; a “pet” chimpanzee mauled and blinded a woman. No charges have been filed on the pet owner but a fifty million dollar civil law suit has been filed.

A Tennessee man files a report that cows licking his house have caused damage. The insurance claim is denied. The cows ripped off a window screen, cracking the glass and pulling down a gutter. A deputy’s report did not indicate “what made the house taste so good.” (wah, wah.)

Pet frogs in the Atlanta area are being blamed for the latest outbreak of Salmonella. (?)

12-9- Ten Search and Rescue teams are searching for thirty missing hunters in Coconino County who have not returned home. Some back roads have three feet of snow.

The storm that hit Arizona two days ago thunders through the Mid West and up into New England. Eight states have posted Blizzard Warnings. One foot of snow has fallen in Illinois, Wisconsin and Iowa. There are fifteen foot deep snow drifts with 50mph winds. Minnesota drops to twenty below zero.

According to the United Nations the past decade, worldwide, has been the warmest on record.

A Boise, Idaho boy got his tongue stuck to a frozen metal pole, perhaps on a dare. A passer by called 9-11 and firefighters poured warm water on the pole to free the boy. (Editor’s note: Although I am a desert duck, and the closest thing I have ever got my tongue stuck on is a popsicle, I am sure some of you cold weather folks have tried the dare in your youth. Were firefighters deployed to your rescue?)

Legendary surfing contest takes place in Hawaii due to massive waves. Known as “The Eddie” this competition can only be held when waves reach twenty feet high or higher. This is only the eighth time conditions have been right since the contest began in 1984. The strong surf is being caused by two large storms northwest of the island.

12-10- 29 degree low at The Land.
The missing hunters in Arizona make the national news. Ten people near the Grand Canyon were rescued last night. Two dozen have been rescued this morning. Six people are still stranded and with this being the last day of the elk hunt more may become stranded as they try to leave their campsites.

Five below zero in Flagstaff a new record. It was two below in 1956.

12-11- Arizona Search and Rescue teams are still pulling stranded hunters out of Coconino County. With 18,000 square miles to cover this is the biggest operation ever for that county. Rescued hunters had to leave their vehicles, camping gear and even their elk behind. They will have to figure out how to retrieve their equipment after conditions improve. National news reports “Az. Hunters all accounted for.”

This past week’s storm is moving out of the United States but causing temperatures to be below freezing in thirteen states with wind gusts dropping temps to twenty five degrees below zero. Seventeen deaths in the northern U.S. blamed on the weather.

While most people in Arizona stayed out of the weather on December 7th, a man caught a record Striper on Lake Pleasant. The fish weighed 28.58 pounds and was 45.7 inches long. He was the only one on the lake fishing that day and said “they were hitting top water all day long.”

A Bedford, Massachusetts man received a year’s probation for intentionally killing a duck with his vehicle. Witnesses said the driver headed directly for a mother duck walking her twelve ducklings last spring. (Get a rope!)

12-12- Winter Storm Warning in affect for northern Arizona. Four to seven inches of snow forecast.

One hundred motorists stranded in snow in western New York.

Cloud seeding in the United States beginning to grow, another nation desperate for rain in some states. Government agencies and utility companies are spending fifteen million dollars on cloud seeding. The projects have increased by a third in the past decade. China spends one million dollars a year to seed its clouds.

In Reno, Nevada investigators are looking into the shooting death of five wild Mustangs. There is a possible link to the heated debate over the future of the horses in Nevada with the BLM.

Three climbers are being search for on Oregon’s Mount Hood.

12-13- Phoenix 4.67’’ below normal rainfall for the year.
A Wind Advisory is posted for the White Mountains. A Winter Storm Advisory is posted for Safford. Whiteout conditions in Flagstaff.

More winter storms bring rain, snow and mud to California. Ninety vehicles were stranded after rocks and mud flowed down a hillside onto the highway north of Los Angeles.

One climber on Mount Hood in Oregon is found dead on a glacier at nine thousand feet. The other two are still missing but the search is called off due to avalanche threats.

Five Sperm whales die beached on Italy’s southern coast. It is rare and mysterious for a mass beaching of such a large species.

A New York City woman was caught smuggling monkey meat through customs. The primate parts were hidden inside a package of smoked fish. She was charged with smuggling an Endangered Species.

12-14- The San Francisco Peaks in northern Arizona received 37’’ of snow last week.

Avalanche Warnings call off search again for missing climbers on Mount Hood. An un-manned drone is sent up to look for signs of life. The group had a personal location beacon but so far no signals have been received. Experts warn that beacons can give a false sense of security but all three climbers are experienced.

12-15- Heavy rain in the South with seven inches in New Orleans in twenty four hours. Parts of south west Alabama received a record ten inches of rain. Roads and schools are closed.

With another storm barreling down on Mount Hood, rescuers raced to find the two remaining climbers. For the climber who died an autopsy showed “a long slow fall and was able to walk and crawl several hundred yards before dying of hypothermia.” (You gave it your best brother.)

The BLM has approved the removal of twenty five hundred Mustangs from a range near Reno. They claim removal of the horses is needed to prevent habitat deterioration. (Where was this department when they let fucking cows ruin countless acres of land?) Opposition grows and a federal judge will hear arguments in a lawsuit filed to block the roundup.

12-16- A “sick” Bobcat attacked a man north of Lake Pleasant. The man was not armed but managed to pin the cat with his knees, crushing its air passage. The man felt his hands were not strong enough to choke the cat.

The ground search is called off for the two missing climbers on Mount Hood in Oregon. There is almost no chance they survived for five days and avalanche threats are too dangerous for rescuers.

The new LED traffic lights save energy but don’t generate enough heat to keep ice and snow form freezing to them eliminating visibility. Many car crashes recently have been linked to this. “Researchers” are looking to install heat sources in the lights. ( Give me a fucking break! Research my ass. It wasn’t broke and you can’t fix it.)(In my car searching I found out that most new cars now have heated outside mirrors...this must be why! - Mrs. BD)

12-17- A record TWENTY FIVE. SEVEN THREE INCHES of rain have fallen in New Orleans in the last month. Some homes have eight inches of standing water in them.

The California drought forces more farmers to drill for water. Satellite data of underground reservoirs show that the rate of water consumption is unsustainable.

12-18- Health Watch issued for Phoenix for the next twenty four hours due to fine particulates in the air.

A crumbling cliff in Pacifica, California has forced evacuations of a hillside apartment. Chunks of the cliff have tumbled into the ocean leaving the structure just ten feet from the edge. The cliff has been saturated by recent heavy rains.

A Blizzard Warning is issued for New Jersey.

“FDA ok’s Pepsi plant despite a frog in a soda can.” A consumer found a five inch frog inside a can of Diet Pepsi after opening the can.

Maricopa county animal shelters are filling up with Chihuahuas. In the past two months shelters have received 286. That is 230 more than all of last year. It could be due to recent media popularity or over breeding. (Twinki duck will now be taking DNA prints to make sure Scrappy's younguns aren't involved....Mom Duck)

12-19- Winter Storm Warning issued from the Carolinas to Rhode Island. With twenty inches of snow in the forecast Virginia and Philadelphia declare states of emergency. 750 flights are cancelled in New York. Wind gusts of 50mph and a record fourteen inches of snow in Washington, DC. This is the snowiest December on record for that city. A forty year old snow record is shattered in Roanoke, West Virginia with sixteen inches of snow.

The drought in East Africa has millions of people in need of food and water. European Union has sent seventy five million dollars in aid. Some areas have received less than 5% of normal rainfall in November. Cattle prices have fallen from two hundred dollars to four dollars as families try to sell the starving animals to buy a small amount of corn. 1.5 million cows have died.

Ten deer have been found dead in piles near Sitka, Alaska. Only choice cuts were removed and the rest of the meat left to waste or carnage.

12-20- Extreme cold in Europe kills people. The deadliest is in Poland where 29 people froze to death as temperatures fall to four below zero. Most of the dead are homeless people unable to find shelter.

12-21- A Winter Storm Advisory is issued for northern Arizona. The first day of winter began at 11:41 a.m. in Phoenix and this is the shortest day of the year.

12-22- Dust storm on I-10 near Casa Grande causes a twenty two car pile up. Fourteen are airlifted and three killed. There was no warning and the dust storm did not even show up on Doppler radar. Farm fields had recently been plowed and strong winds kicked up blinding dirt. Wind Advisory issued in Phoenix until midnight. I-17 closed north of Camp Verde due to whiteout conditions.

More storms from Memphis to Atlanta. Coupled with last week’s storms in the North East many flights to be cancelled. Many people will not make their Christmas destinations.

12-23- Due to heavy snow flights cancelled or delayed in Denver, Chicago and Newark.

More snow falls in Europe. One hundred, mostly homeless have died. A record of sixteen thousand cars in Britain either stuck or in accidents.

12-24- Twenty eight degree low at The Land. A no burn day was issued for Maricopa County (you fucking scrooges.)

The National Weather Service has issued Blizzard Warnings for parts of Oklahoma, North and South Dakota, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Texas. Winter Storm Warnings in effect across the Plains and the Mid West. One hundred flights are cancelled from Minneapolis. Two feet of snow in Fargo, North Dakota.

A tornado touches down in Louisiana.

Flooding and high tide effects 60% of Venice with flooded buildings.

Major roads closed in southern England due to icy roads.

12-25- Twenty five degree low at The Land. One degree low at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. Eight below reported at the Grand Canyon. A Freeze Warning is issued for the Phoenix metro area. High Pollution Advisory is issued for the next two days and a no burn day is posted in Maricopa County. (I am proud to say that the DudeDuck and yours truly made sure this did not happen today.)

Christmas weather strands travelers in the Mid West. An Ice Storm Warning is issued for West Virginia and the Blue Ridge Mountains. Thirty degrees below zero in parts of Montana.

12-26- Twenty six degree low at The Land.

In New Jersey rain bean to fall last night and is expected to continue through tomorrow morning. Flood Warnings have been issued.

Blizzard Warnings have never been issued in Dallas since weather recording began. One was issued today. Thirty inches of snow, a new record, falls in South Dakota.

Summer at the South Pole is sixteen below zero.

In Wyoming a slow migration hinders Buffalo hunting season. One hundred fewer animals have been taken this year. Mild weather in the summer and fall and abundant forage has kept the animals from migrating.
12-27- Twenty five degree low at The Land.

Winter storm leaves Flood Alerts has temperatures warm in the East.

Storms from Texas to the upper Mid West have dumped almost twenty four inches of now in Grand Forks, North Dakota and eighteen inches near Norfolk, Nebraska.

12-28- Twenty inches of snow in western Iowa with drifts fifteen feet high. One farmer said he has never seen anything like this in his life. His tractor snow plow is useless.

A two legged dog named “Faith” was born without front legs. She was adopted and learned to walk upright by being coaxed with peanut butter. Faith has been on talk shows (?), toured with Ozzy Osbourne (?) and named an honorary Army sergeant. (?). She has been an inspiration to many who suffer disabilities.

One hundred and twenty Pilot whales beached and died in New Zealand. Forty three others were helped back to sea.

A man in Mexico tried his skill in an improvised bull fight. The bull gorged him in the throat and killed him.

Arizona authorities have found a dead Bobcat that may be the one that attacked a man near Oracle. The man was bitten on the thigh.

A website can help the public in Maricopa County learn how to deal with feral cats. ( Just ask Ryduck about the many tricks used to “deal” with cats.)(DO NOT ask RyBoy shit about cat control...he is a violent duck and should not be giving advise. Mrs. D)

12-29- Apparently residents in Maricopa County ignored a no burn day on Christmas day. Although no one called in to complain about neighbors burning, the particulates from smoke were so high the county may be fined by the EPA.

North East receives more snow and strong winds making it seventeen below zero in some areas.

A railroad snow plow is used in parts of Nebraska. It is normally used only on mountain passes.

Seven are killed in an avalanche in the Alps. Four of them were rescuers.

Using a vehicle GPS strands a couple for three days in the snow in Oregon. They chose the shortest route but not the safest one. They turned onto a forest road off of the highway.

12-30- A Rabies Advisory is posted for eastern and southern Pinal County.(bobcats and skunks...or maricopa new residents)

A Winter Storm Advisory is posted for northern Arizona. Three inches of snow in Williams.

Heavy snow in California with some areas receiving nine inches.

Black ice on roads in Oklahoma. People are warned not to drive at all until it melts.

12-31- Another no burn day is posted for Maricopa County.

After heavy rain mudslides kill eighteen in Brazil.

Near freezing temperatures have killed sixteen homeless people in northern India. Uttar Pradesh is one of India’s poorest states and nearly one fifth of its one hundred and eighty million people are homeless.

A Wyoming man shoots and kills a mountain lion that killed and partially ate one of his Llamas. Another is missing.

Two climbers killed in Britain and two in Poland due to avalanches.

Two full moons in December this year. The last time was twenty years ago and the next time will be twenty six years.

In New York City at midnight they will drop a ball. In one town in Pennsylvania they will drop a carp (?). In a town in Arkansas they will drop an Opossum in a cage. (?) Happy New Year!

TwinkyDuck elaborated on the blue moon phenomenon with the following facts: “The solar calendar has eleven more days than a calendar year so every three years there is an extra full moon in a given month. When a blue moon is called that it’s because in some places it appears blue. That is caused by particulates in the sky.”

The Mighty Broaduck quote for the month is “Times are tough, the country is broke. Here is your heartfelt Christmas quote. The love a person has for his family members can’t be measured by any standards. All are loved differently but the same amount in their own special ways. (He is so full of shit. I like the first line the best and think I will steal it for a down and out country song.)

The RyDuck observation from his secluded post in Colorado is fitting given all of the storms the country has recently experienced. “Wind from the south usually precedes a storm.”

And since most of the country would probably like to see some more sun right now the song of the month is “Good day Sunshine” by the Beatles.

Keep your eyes open for black ice, avalanches, snow slides, mud slides, rock slides and frozen fingers and toes. Until next month remember Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.

The Amazing, Distinguished, Scholarly, Professor of Quackery and Duckitzer Award Winner MR BlueDuck.