Sunday, July 3, 2011

June 2011 Blue Duck Weather News!




June 2011 Weather News!

According to one geologist “Recent wildfires could be at least as severe and maybe worse than anything we’ve seen since the last Ice Age.” June in Arizona produced the largest wildfire on record. At over 550,000 acre the Wallow Fire began on Memorial Day Weekend by an abandoned campfire.

There has been considerable debate why some of Arizona’s forests did not have fire bans that weekend. Some say it is because it had snowed the prior week in many areas. But only in Blue Duck Weather will you read the other reason. Even though it had snowed there were strong winds that blew almost daily during the month of June. It has baffled me as May and June have all been windy months, usually they are not. The humidity in June was also extremely low, and to coin a wore out saying, the perfect storm was brewing.

There were actually three major fires in Arizona in June, sadly all in the beloved Coronado Mountain range. One of the fires only burned itself out because it wiped out an entire mountain top forest. Officials are so concerned that two breeding pairs of endangered Mount Graham red squirrels will be captured and transported to the Phoenix Zoo in the hope of saving the species. Mount Graham is closed to all visitors and campers. I have never heard of this before, fire restrictions yes. There are other international interests on that mountain that must be saved at all costs but that is a different story.

This special “hot” edition of Blue Duck Weather is so intense and historical your fine staff has agreed not to include the usual boring local weather stats for the month. But there is much more to read than the blow by blow fire reporting from the staff on the road choking to death from smoke.

In this special edition you will also read about a rare white buffalo birth that has drawn Native Americans from the entire country to Texas, baggy pants that actually saved a young man from an alligator attack, a first hand account of flooding in Montana that has been overshadowed by other weather news, the flooded Souris River and the overwhelmed town of Minot North Dakota, a fact to remember when perceiving the amount of land consumed by fire, a dream home overrun by snakes, Hayduke Lives in Flagstaff!, three U.S. nuclear facilities threatened by flooding or fires, a town that will offer free food on cloudy days, a Buddhist retreat in Arizona that was left in the dark by the fires and why, the first elk crossing in the world constructed near Payson, Arizona, a scorpion sting that nearly kills a six month old girl in Arizona, a rare black bear attack on a human in eastern Arizona and turtles that bring a major U.S. airport to a standstill. And now award winning journalism awaits you.

6-1- Red Flag Warnings posted for northern Arizona. A new fire erupted in Coconino County today.

Flames jump the containment line of the Horseshoe Two Fire in south east Arizona. 73,000 acres have burned.

A powerful tornado strikes Springfield, Massachusetts killing three and damaging hundreds of homes. Tornadoes are rare in this region. The National Guard has been activated and 12,000 are without power.

The official first day of Hurricane Season. (just what we need!)

Ten thousand residents of Minot, North Dakota are told to evacuate along the Souris River, a tributary of the Red River.

Worldwide carbon dioxide emissions from burning fossil fuels reached a record 30.6 billion tons in 2010. China and India’s growth added 5% of the increase.

A 200 pound bear on the loose has a Portland, Oregon school in lockdown.

A rare white buffalo is born in Texas. Native Americans from around the country are converging to find the message. Black eyes and a black tip on the tail is considered the most powerful medicine of an albino buffalo.

6-2- This morning the Wallow Fire had burned 18,000 acres, by noon 40,000 acres with no containment. Big Lake is evacuated in eastern Arizona. Fire lines are built around Hannigan’s Meadow Lodge. U.S. 191 is closed and Alpine residents have two hours to evacuate.

There are eight fires burning around the state. The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 80,000 acres and is the sixth largest fire in Arizona history.
The Engineer Fire west of Flagstaff began today at noon.
It has not been this dry since the 1970s.

A woman has been rescued after spending three days in the Mingus Mountain area near Prescott. She was extremely dehydrated, sunburned and had cuts all over her legs. The woman and her boyfriend broke down in a pickup truck and began arguing. The boyfriend hitched a ride and the woman started hiking toward Mingus Mountain (?)

It has been confirmed that three tornadoes struck in central and western Massachusetts last week. 18 cities and village were damaged, 40 hospitalized in Springfield, 3 confirmed dead and 250 displaced. One tornado was ten miles high!

In Yosemite National Park Bridal Veils and Yosemite Falls are flowing fast enough to fill a gas tanker in two seconds! The photographs are stunning.

6-3- The Wallow Fire has blown up to 100,000 acres. Four summer homes have burned south of Alpine. Alpine residents are still evacuated and Nutriosa is evacuated. The rapid speed of this fire’s growth is being described to the 2002 Rodeo- Chediski Fire that burned 460,000 acres. There is no containment and residents of Springerville and Eager have been placed on evacuation notice.

The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 86,140 acres and is 50% contained
The Engineer Fire has burned 800 acres and containment is hopeful soon.

A Show Low man told police he started four eastern Arizona fires recently because it was his “duty to God.” Two of the fires were in brush piles and the other two under juniper trees. All were contained. Biblical literature was found in the vicinity of the fires. ( No word at all if these fires are connected to the big one but kind of ironic or fitting I should say.)

Three thousand people in low lying areas of Pierre and Fort Pierre, South Dakota are leaving ahead of upstream dam releases. The swollen Missouri River has to be relieved immediately.

6-4- From this morning to noon the Wallow Fire grew from 100,00 acres to 140,000 acres with no containment. It is now the third largest fire in Arizona history. The smoke is blowing all the way to Denver. Dry lightning is expected tomorrow in the region and erratic winds have not helped firefighters in the least.

The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 90,000 acres and is 50% contained.
A sixty five year old woman rafting the Colorado River drowns at the Needle’s Eye rapids.

A seventeen year old in Florida says his baggy pants saved him from an alligator. The boy was walking beside a pond when the bastard lurched out of the water. When the teen ran his pants ripped leaving the gator with nothing but a piece of cloth in its mouth.

The Mighty Mississippi flood begins to drop today.

6-5- The Greer Lodge and cabins are evacuated today as the Wallow Fire grows to 144,102 acres. It has jumped Highway 180. 40mph winds, low humidity and dry lightning are making it travel faster. There is a Red Flag Warning posted for tomorrow in north eastern Arizona. The fire is out of control and there are 1300 fire fighters on site. Folks east of Alpine are told to evacuate.
The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 100,200 acres and is 55% contained.
The Murphy Fire, south of Tucson has burned 23,000 acres and is 15% contained.

As the Missouri River rises in North Dakota the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers increased Oahe Dam releases to historic levels for the first time since the dam was completed in the late 1950s.
600 south west Iowa residents ordered to evacuate after the Missouri breached a levee.

A woman in Duluth, Minnesota was jogging alongside a road with something slammed into her. She found herself in a ditch with whiplash and extensive bruises. A pickup truck struck a deer which then collided with her. The deer is dead, the woman will survive her injuries.

6-6- The Wallow Fire in southeastern Arizona today; 6:15 a.m., 192,000 acres. By noon it had grown to 200,000 acres. At 2:00 p.m. 233,000 acres. It is now the second largest fire in Arizona’s history. Winds have blown it in every direction except south thus far. With 50mph winds it is still at zero containment. Smoke has blown a thousand miles east into Iowa. Sunrise and Greer are being evacuated. Eager and Springerville have been placed on notice. The governor of Arizona has signed an emergency declaration.

The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 100,075 acres and is 55% contained. There are 1,000firefighters on sight. This fire in southern Arizona has been burning nearly a month.

Six reservoirs along the Missouri River are filled to capacity. Seven states are on flood watch. 20,000 have been evacuated in the Dakotas.

Three more have died from their injuries from the Joplin, Missouri tornado. The death toll is now up to one hundred and forty one.

6-7- The Wallow Fire has burned 322,000 acres with no containment. Ash is falling on Springerville.

Beginning in two days the Coronado National Forest will be closed to all visitors. (I’ve heard of not allowing camp fires but I have not heard of this. Is this a reaction and safety precaution by the U.S. Forest Service?)

10,000 people are still homeless after the earthquake in Japan last March.

Flooding from heavy rains in southwestern China leaves 21 dead, 37 missing, 45,000 evacuated, 800 homes destroyed, 5,000 damaged and 13,000 acres of farmland under water.

Heavy rain for the seventh straight day in Haiti kills 23 from mudslides.

6-8- The Wallow Fire is now the number one U.S. priority fire. It has burned almost 400,000 acres. The fire jumps firelines and residents of Springerville and Eager are told to get out immediately. The size of the fire is now larger than Phoenix.

A new blaze near Flagstaff is burning. Seven to nine spot fires have been reported.

Roundup, Montana has flooded for the second time in two weeks just after cleanup efforts had begun. The Musselshell River came rolling in submerging cars and covering the ground floors of homes.

As the Missouri River continues to rise 260 miles have been closed to recreational boat traffic to protect newly constructed levees.

52 are dead in China flooding, 32 missing and 100,000 evacuated.

The first Tropical Storm of the season develops in the Pacific. Adrian is 345 miles south of Acapulco.

6-9- On the 12th day of the Wallow Fire it is only 5% contained. It has moved into Greer. 22 homes have burned. 11,000 people have been displaced and 200 miles of roadway closed. Power supply lines are threatened in eastern Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. The President is sending 2500 National Forest Service firefighters.

A man has been arrested for setting the spot fires near Flagstaff yesterday. 50 people were evacuated and one mobile home burned. The man said he got into an argument with his girlfriend and that is why he set the fires. Thankfully they have been contained.

In one day Adrian has turned into a hurricane. A Storm Watch has been issued for parts of the Mexican Coast including Acapulco.

On a rampage in southern India two wild elephants have killed one man and injured others in the city of Mysore.

The Lovely Mrs. BlueDuck has a sister who is a long time resident on a huge spread in Montana. Here is a first hand account of the severe flooding that is taking place: “The Winter from Hell to flood season. It’s been raining for months. We’re rained in…. all the people whos homes are under water now, or going to be, toward Agusta and along the Sun River toward Great Falls, along the Missouri River and many other parts of Montana are now under water. The end of the rain is nowhere in sight, and there’s still 5’ of snow in the mountains to melt. When it does it’s going to worsen along all the river corridors. So many places in Montana are now under water, roads closed and destroyed, etc. Unreal.

6-10- The Wallow Fire has burned 410,000 acres and is 5% contained. Twenty seven homes have been lost. There is a no fly zone over the fire due to the massive air attack. It began with an abandoned campfire on May 29th. There were 70mph winds that day.

A total of 600,00 acres of forest, grasslands and deserts have burned so far in Arizona. The Horshoe Two Fire is up to 116,000 acres and 40% contained. The Murphy Complex Fire has burned 67,000 acres.

A Phoenix Landscaper has been rushed to a local hospital with life threatening bee stings. He was working at a Phoenix home.

An undocumented but interesting tale: Some people believe the skeleton of a whale ws found along the Salt River in the Phoenix area in 1850s. Presumably the whale traveled up the Salt from the Gulf of Mexico during a major flood. It took a right turn at the Gila River and wound up dead in the Salt River.

In a strange weather phenomenon I don’t understand just after midnight last night Wichita, Kansas went from 85 degrees to 102 degrees in twenty minutes!, something about a collapsing storm. (I bet those folks thought it was the beginning of the end.)

The latest death toll from the hurricane in Joplin, Missouri has gone up to 151 with more dying from their injuries.

Hurricane Adrian has already strengthened to a Category 4 storm but is expected to remain off the coast of Mexico.

Forecasters say the cooling La Nina weather phenomenon from the tropical Pacific ocean is over. It may have boosted last year’s hurricane season and this spring’s tornadoes.

100 domestic animals have been killed by a pack of dogs in Washington State. The latest is a 350 pund llama. Law enforcement officials have not been able to capture or kill the mangy bastards. (Just turn loose TiptoDuck with his arsenal!)

6-11- The Wallow Fire has gorged 430,000 acres and is 6% contained. Thirty homes have been lost. The air quality is so bad it exceeds the National standard by seven times. 31mph winds in Greer today and the southern end of the fire is a huge concern. There is a Red Flag Warning for the fire area tomorrow.

“Despite windy conditions officials for the Apache Sitgrives National Forest decided not to impose campfire restrictions over the Memorial Day weekend because late spring snowfall provided moisture and because closing the forest would have created a hardship for the local tourism industry.

Emergency workers have ferried supplies to 300 people cut off yesterday by new flooding that has overwhelmed Montana towns. There is no way to get in or out of Roundup, Montana.

Hurricane Adrian has been downgraded to a Tropical Storm.

More flooding in central China kills 41 and 111,000 displaced.

Heavy rain and melting snow causes devastating floods across central Norway.

One thousand gather in Tokyo to protest nuclear power three months after the disaster.

You read it here in Blue Duck Weather when we reported about the out of control chimpanzee that attacked a woman and ripped off her face and hands. She has successfully received a face transplant, only the third of its kind in the U.S.

Six gray seals have been found shot to death on Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

6-12- The Wallow has swallowed 445,000 acres and is 6% contained. Alpine, Nutrioso and Greer residents are not allowed to return yet. 7,000 people are allowed to return to Springerville and Eager. The fire has jumped state lines into New Mexico. 4300 firefighters are on site.

The Fort Apache Indian Reservation Tribe credits prayer, wind and fire prevention for dodging the Wallow Fire. They have done vast amounts of thinning and controlled burns after the Rodeo-Chediski Fire in 2002. 60% of that fire was on Indian land.

A Pinal County, Arizona rancher has been ordered to quarantine 199 rodeo steers after one animal tested positive for bovine tuberculosis. It is the first case of the highly contagious disease since 1978 in Arizona. The rancher must test each animal, expensive and time consuming, or kill the herd.

It has been confirmed that three nuclear reactor cores melted in Japan after the earthquake and subsequent Tsunami in March. Growers are extremely concerned. Farm soil forty miles away is contaminated. Volunteers have supplied some farmers with radiation meters.

A Japanese woman lost in the Nepal mountains for two weeks survived by eating grass, drinking river water, taking shelter in small caves and praying. She left her hotel on May 22nd for a short stroll, left the main road and could not find it again.

6-13- 445,000 acres consumed by the Wallow Fire with 10% containment and 36 homes burned. Three thousand homes and businesses are still at risk and residents of Alpine, Greer and Nutrioso are not expected to be able to return home for five more days.

A new fire near Sierra Vista, Arizona has ignited. The Monument Fire has burned 3,000 acres.

Peak flows in the Missouri are expected in Iowa, Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Tomorrow releases from five of the river’s dams will be at 150,000 cubic feet per second. This is twice the previous record releases. The river will rise 5-7’ above flood stage in Nebraska and Iowa, 10’ in Missouri.

6-14- Now the largest fire in Arizona history the Wallow has consumed 469,000 acres and is 18% contained.

A fire fact to remember, especially now; 640 acres equals one square mile. ( I have a lot easier grasping the magnitude when a fire is reported in acres instead of square miles, but maybe that’s just me.)

The Missouri River has punched a three hundred foot breach in a levee in Hamburg, Iowa. Farmlands are flooding quickly.

One hundred rare pygmy rabbits have been released in Washington State. They were believed to be extinct since mid 2004. It is the smallest rabbit in the United States and an adult can fit into a person’s hand.

An eight year old girl in Sacremento, California is a rare survivor of rabies without having the life saving vaccine. She is only the third person known of in the United States to survive. It is believed she was infected by a wild cat.

6-15- The Wallow Fire keeps marching on its destructive path to Hell. 478,000 acres have gone up in smoke. There is a Red Flag Warning for winds tomorrow and Friday. There is only 20% containment but Nutrioso residents are allowed to come home.
It has been confirmed that the fire began in Bear Canyon and “persons of interest” are being questioned.

The Monument Fire near Sierra Vista is burning out of control with only 10% containment.

Nationwide eleven new fires reported in the United States in the past day. The states with the largest fires are Texas with 13, Florida with 11, Arizona with 4 and New Mexico with 4.

The first new official day of the monsoon season begins for Arizona, of course your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather will let you know when the actual scientific date begins. It all begins with heat and the Land reached the first 105 degree day for the season and Phoenix hit 110.

More flooding in central and south China with 88,000 evacuated. 170 people are dead or missing since the beginning of the month.

6-16- The Wallow Fire total is up to 460,000 acres and a Red Flag Warning is in effect. After recently returning home residents of Gree are told to prepare for another evacuation.

The Monument Fire has burned 10,000 acres south of Sierra Vista and forty homes have been damaged or lost. This fire is more damaging than the Wallow Fire in the first forty eight hours.

The Horseshoe Two fire in Pima County has burnded 200,000 acres. It is so windy in areas of fires winds are causing spot fires out a mile. One resident crys “Pray for rain!”

The Murphy Complex Fire in the Coroanado National Forest began on May 30th and is fully contained at 68,078 acres.

Arizona Game and Fish has set up a mobile clinic in Eager to help injured wildlife from the Wallow Fire. So far a young bull elk has been treated for burned hooves and a starving red tailed hawk has been saved.

The Missouri River has flooded parts of Montana, North and South Dakota. So far most levees along the river are holding.

“April’s weather extremes never before seen U.S. experts say. The mix of single disasters in a month, flooding, fires, tornadoes and drought are unprecedented.”

Japanese whalers have found traced of radiation in two animals caught along the country’s northern coast.

A “dream home” bought by a young couple in rural Idaho has been discovered to be infested with hundreds of garter snakes. “The ground surrounding the home appeared to be moving at times, it was so thick with these snakes.” The couple would lie awake at night and listen to snakes slithering inside the walls.

6-17- At 495,000 acres the Wallow Fire is 30% contained.
The Monument Fire has doubled in twenty four hours to 18,000 acres with 50 homes damaged or destroyed. The governor of Arizona has issued a disaster decleration.

Hayduke Lives! “Six people have been arrested after chaining themselves to heavy construction equipment to protest snowmaking plans at the Arizona Snowbowl. All but one are Flagstaff residents.

On a side note water use may be restricted in Flagstaff this summer.

China has issued it’s highest level flood alert. 55,000 people in central and southern China have been evacuated. Although drought has plagued this region lately this is the worst flooding since 1955.

6-18- Residents of Alpine allowed to return home this morning. The Wallow fire is 38% contained with 500,409 acres burned. Luna, New Mexico has been evacuated.
The Monument Fire near Sierra Vista has grown to 20,000 acres and is 15% contained. Fifty homes have been damaged or destroyed.

The worst day for fire control is expected tomorrow as a Red Flag Warning for the entire state of Arizona has been issued. Fifty mph winds expected in the fire areas.
The Horseshoe Two in Pima County is 70% contained with 206,312 acres burned. All three of these major fires are in the Coronado National Forest.

Three people are cited for having an illegal camp fire at Lake Montezuma, Prescott, Arizona.

Floodwaters form the Missouri River have risen close to a nuclear reactor building in Nebraska. The plant is circled by a giant rubber barrier. In preparation for this flood the complex has been shut down since April. It will not be activated until flooding subsides.

Landslides trap 5,000 passengers on four trains overnight in China.

6-19- The Monument Fire has jumped Highway 92 and more emergency evacuations are underway.

There are Red Flag Warnings and Extreme Fire Danger posted for six states.

Levees breach in northern Missouri in Holt and Atchison Counties, flooding farmland, homes and cabins.

The severe flooding in China has displaced two million people, 170 missing or dead and 42,254 acres of farmland covered with water.

Tropical Storm Beatriz forms in the Pacific and may become a hurricane in two days.

6-20- Three thousand more people are evacuated from the Monument Fire. The National Guard is on the way to help and this fire is now a U.S. priorty one fire. Two restaurants in Nicksville destroyed.

A new fire burning near Payson, the Willow began near Bear Canyon Lake. It has burned nearly five hundred acres.

An extremely rare Gila Monster has been caught in a garage in north Scottsdale. The fucker, nearly two feet long was pissed when captured.

6-21- First day of summer and 107 degrees at The Land.

The Wallow Fire is 67% contained at 527,000 acres.
The Horseshoe Two Fire, stubborn as hell and burning for six weeks, is fully contained.

Hundred of evacuees are allowed to return to Greer and Sierra Vista as calming winds help firefighters control the blazes.

There are 67 separate fires burning in several states. Three million acres have burned since January 1st, a new record.

Two forest rangers were killed yesterday fighting a fire in Hamilton County in north Florida. The men died after being trapped by changing winds cutting a fire line.

The Souris River is about to top levees and 12,000 told to evacuate immediately in Minot, North Dakota.

6-22- First 110 degrees at The Land, 114 degrees in Ahwatukee. The first Excessive Heat Advisory is issued. (This may be hell, but it is the only way moisture can be brought up from the south to begin our annual monsoon season, hopefully with some drenching rain to soak this parched state.)

The bastard RyDuck knowing the forecast here reported a “cool “73 degrees at midmorning today from his secluded location in Colorado. I could just hear the sneer in his voice.

The Monument Fire is 45% contained with 62 homes burned and 27,000 acres consumed.
The Wallow Fire is 58% contained with 530,000 acres burned.

The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 222,000 acres and 95% contained.

A man has been charged with setting a brush fire on a hiking trail in north Scottsdale earlier this week. He was hiking with friends and lit “consumer fireworks” he purchased near the area. He thought it was legal. (Where the fuck is common sense?)

Army Corps of Engineers told Minot residents to “Get Out!, a historic flood is coming. The town’s sirens were signaling the emergency and 500 National Guard troops are deployed. One quarter of the town’s population has left.

The drought is so bad in east Texas seventeen fires are burning. One rancher said this is the worst conditions for his cattle business he has seen in his life.

Thunderstorms and heavy rains pound the upper Midwest. Thousands stranded at Chicago’s two major airprorts. Torando warnings issued.

A young penquin apparently took a wrong turn while swimming near Anctartica and ended up two thousand miles away in New Zealand. He is healthy and well fed.

6-23- The Monument Fire is now under control because it has burned through an entire forest in the Chiricahua Mountains. This mountain range is one of the state’s sky islands.
Residents are allowed to return to Luna, New Mexico.

The Wash Fire, ignited by a blown tire, has burned two hundred acres in Heber. (Talk about dry conditions!)

The Willow Fire near Payson is held at one square mile but Bear Canyon Lake and surrounding campgrounds are closed.

The Yuma Visitor’s Bureau has a new promotion. Hotel guests can dine for free on a cloudy day beginning August 1st. It is part of a tribute to Arizona’s centennial. In 1872 a local hotel offered free board every day the sun didn’t shine. Yuma averages fifteen days a year.

“Feeling of dread” as twelve thousand are evacuated in Minot, North Dakota. Nothing can stop the surge of water.

For the first time in 136 years The Kentucky Derby compound has been damaged by a possible tornado knocking down barns and chasing out horses. No injuries to humans or animals reported.

6-24- The Salvation Army’s hydration stations opened up two days ago due to excessive heat warnings in Phoenix for the first time this year.

Thirty nine Buddhists six months into a three year retreat south of Bowie, Arizona have not been told about the Monument Fire. They are in the process of separating themselves from the outside world and taking a vow of silence. Caretakers at the compound say to interrupt this journey would have ruined years of planning and resolve.

The first elk crossing of its kind in the world has been constructed near Payson. There is an electronic sign on Highway 260 that reads “Test Area Elk Crossing 1500’’. If elk are crossing the sign will read “Caution, Elk Detected.” A third sign near the crosswalk will start flashing and motorists will have time to slow down. The project cost was 700,000 dollars but vehicle and elk collisions have decreased from twelve a year to one.

The Souris River rises four feet in one day breaking a record set in 1881. 2500 homes are flooded in Minot, North Dakota.

A half million acres are burning in south Georgia, 380,000 in Florida and 1500 have been evacuated in Oklahoma. All of this is because of severe drought conditions.

6-25- The Horseshoe Two Fire is nearly contained.
The Monument Fire is 57% contained.

The new Watch Fire near Heber is 10% contained with two thousand acres burned.
There is yet another Red Flag Warning posted for northern Arizona tomorrow with 40mph winds.

4.6 million acres have burned in the U.S. this year, twice the annual average.

Flooding overwhelms Burlington, Sawyer and Minot, North Dakota. 11,000 are homeless in Minot with four thousand homes and businesses under water. One official said this is a five hundred year event, off the chart. The Souris River is flowing 170 times its normal rate.

One month after the terrible tornado in Joplin, Missouri hundreds of pets lost or missing have been reunited with their owners. There are still 600 orphans and folks come from around the country to adopt.

According to my National Wildlife Federation calendar today is “Great American Backyard Campout Day.” I’m sure whoever came up with this idea didn’t live in the desert in June. You have got to be kidding me.

6-26- The Horsheshoe Two Fire is fully contained. The Monument is 75% contained and the massive Wallow fire is 80% contained at 540,000 acres.

A fire began on June 18th near the Santa Fe Ski Basin in New Mexico. It has burned 9300 acres and is only 10% contained.

There are evacuations in Gulf Shores, Alabama because of wildfires.

The mighty Souris River finally crested in Minot, North Dakota. Floowaters are nine feet deep in some areas.

A four foot shark is caught on camera jumping over a surfer in Florida. (Talk about being in the right place at the right time.)

6-27- The first 115 degree day in Phoenix this summer. An Excessive Heat Advisory is issued for tomorrow.

Worried that wildfires could wipe out the remaining Mount Graham red squirrel population an emergency declaration will allow government biologists to try and capture two breeding males and two breeding females. The squirrels will be kept at the Phoenix Zoo’s conservative center.

A six month Phoenix girl is fighting for her life after being stung by a bark scorpion behind her ear. She stopped breathing twice and has pneumonia.

Emandatory evacuations are taking place near Los Alamos nuclear weapons facility in New Mexico. A wildfire has grown from six thousand acres to forty four thousand acres in a matter of hours. At zero containment thirty structures have burned.

The Souries River crested four feet above the highest record ever recorded. All city water use is banned due to contamination from the flood.

“Fire and water” threatening three nuclear sites in the U.S. Two reactors threatened by the Missouri River in Nebraska are in “safe, cold shutdown mode.”

6-28- A forty year old Phoenix man was found dead in a hospital parking lot yesterday from heat stroke. He had been outside all day and presumed to be homeless.

Severe Thunderstorm Warnings issued for Springerville and surrounding areas. Flooding is a real concern in burned out areas. Residents are already preparing to sand bag. (I just hope there is no dry lightning.)

This is a “make or break” day for the Los Conchas Fire in New Mexico. The fire burned an additional 10,000 acres overnight and is up to 60,000 acres in two days. The Los Alamos nuclear facility has called in teams to track plutonium and uranium readings in the air as a precaution. The fire is within four miles of the laboratory and twelve thousand people are evacuated.

6-29- An Arizona woman has been attacked and severly injured by a black bear near Pinetop, Arizona. She was walking her dog when she got within sixty yards of a dumpster the bear was foraging in. The bear attacked her repeatedly and she was airlifted to a Scottsdale hospital. It is the 9th attack since 1990 when Arizona Game & Fish began records.

Flash Flood Warnings posted for Greenlee and Cochise counties.

Fire officials “throw everything” at the fire burning near Los Alamos. The nuclear laboratory reports that drums of nulear waste material can withstand the fire. There are 30,000 fifty five gallon drums of plutonium contaminated waste on site. The town of Los Alamos is closed and twelve thousand residents are gone.

The first tropical storm for the Atlantic this season, Arlene forms.

In the Annual State of the Climate Report it has been 25 years since global temperatures have been below average. There are 41 climate indicators used. “There is a clear and unmistakable signal from the top of the atmosphere to the depths of the ocean.”

150 crossing turtles brings flights to a halt at JFK Airport. They were moving from a bay to a beach to lay eggs. All of the turtles were picked up and transported to their destination. ( There is humanity and kindness to animals afterall.)

6-30- The Wallow Fire is 93% contained.
Five bodies have been found by the Border Patrol in the Arizona deserts. All died from heat exhaustion recently.

The Los Alamos lab and city appear to be out of danger but a Native American site has burned and the fire is threatening the town of Santa Clara Pueblo. By this morning the fire is 3% contained and has burned 92,735 acres.

Flood destroys schools in Minot, North Dakota. The big question is where 1,000 kids will be sent this fall.

Tropical Storm Arlene pounds central Mexico. Up to FIFTEEN INCHES OF RAIN EXPECTED.

Planning a swim at a beach this summer? Beach closures and advisories rose by 29% in 2010 compared to a year prior due to contamination. 11% of California beaches reported elevated levels of bacterial contamination.

And there you have it my fine readers, an historic yet sad month for Arizona. The song of the month is “Better Run For Cover” by Tony Joe White.

Until next month when there isn’t one single pine tree standing remember Pioneer took bullets. Settlers took land.

Professor MR Blue Duck

Hope you enjoyed Mr. Ducks original photo....yes, he actually has ducks.

Monday, June 6, 2011

May 2011 Blue Duck Weather News




May 2011 Weather News!

It has been said that the attention span of a major natural disaster is four days through the media. I think this is remarkable given the attention span to this shit; open, click delete. When Osama Bin Laden was killed early this month tornado victims in the South worried that attention would go away from their plight. It did. One has to dig deep to see any coverage of Tokyo’s disaster of March. It’s as if it never happened or they have miraculously re-built with life being sunny and peachy. I suppose there are areas there that still resemble a war zone.

Last month was a cruel weather month. I had reported that it was some comfort to know that most of the natural disasters did not break records. But you will see in this month’s mind staggering edition of Blue Duck Weather that records are falling like tooth picks.

Typically April is the windy month for Arizona but May was probably worse. There were many Red Flag Warnings, the humidity dropped and everything low and high began to dry out rapidly. As a result, and as of this writing, there are two major wildfires burning in Arizona. One began in early May and is still not under control. The number of acres burned grows by the tens of thousands in several hours. Literally the newspaper reports of today are actually yesterday’s news. That is how fast these wildfires are spreading.

There is so much to read in this exciting edition of Blue Duck Weather, events that will “stagger you out of your mind and I ain’t drunk.” (my dad’s latest sentence to me every goddamn afternoon.) We will track the history making flooding the Mighty Mississippi River, described by one as a “pig moving through a python.” The deadliest tornado in history for Missouri. Other fine points of interest are a woman who survived after being stranded for almost four months, locusts on the rampage, smoke from the Alberta, Canada fires blankets the Phoenix area some two thousand miles away, “Endangered Species Day” (what the fuck?), the cause of all of these tornadoes, and how would you like to wake up with a rabid skunk on your face?

A mild month for the Land it was in May; the average temperature was only ten degrees warmer at the end then the beginning. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 27. 50 degrees warmer. The average temperature at The Land was 74.72 degrees, the average on the New Mexico Land was 55.38 degrees.

The average humidity on The Land was 21.66% and the dew point 29.66 degrees.

It was windy with an average wind speed of 8.80mph.

.01” of rain fell on The Land, a blessing in May.

Lake Mead is coming up with a level of 43%. Powell is contributing mightily to the rise in Mead but is maintaining 55%. Pleasant and Roosevelt Lakes stand at 93% full respectively.

On a relatively calm day the barometric pressure on the land is approximately 28.40 mercury inches. Most all of May it hovered around 28.30. As cold fronts came in with wind it would drop dramatically, the lowest on May 29th at 28.01 mercury inches.

As your Editor in Chief I began these pressure reports to see if our friends around the valley could correlate this with migraine headaches. I am here to tell you I can correlate the fucking pressure with achy knee joints. I previously wrote it off to age but why do some days have no pain? I wonder how many other ailments can be linked to rapid swings in pressure including back aches. But how about insanity?

And now let us get directly to the weather news that affected so many folks around this country and the world!



5-1- Twelve degrees at the Grand Canyon this morning.

Hundreds are still missing four days after the killer tornadoes hit the South. 650,000 are still without power.

The Ohio River is rising to record levels and threatening the town of Cairo, Illinois. “Catastrophic flooding” is predicted for the Ohio Valley.

5-2- A California condor has hatched in the Vermilion Cliffs north of the Grand Canyon. It is only the 13th hatched alive in the wild since the raptors were released in Arizona in 1996.

There were 312 tornadoes reported in 24 hours last week. This doubles the record of 148 set in 1974. A new record of 600 tornadoes in a single month set also.

With five more inches of rain the Ohio River has risen to 61.05’ at Cairo, Illinois breaking a record set in 1937. “This is a dramatic once in a lifetime kind of occurrence in the region” Missouri Governor Jay Nixon said after touring the area.

From his secluded location in Colorado Ryduck reports that two days ago it was 72 degrees and today it is snowing.

5-3- The Bull fire in the Coronado National Forest is 52% contained with 9700 acres burned.

A male bear cub is captured in Peoria, Arizona near the Lake Pleasant Parkway. (I remember when the “Parkway” was a dirt road.) The healthy young bruin weighs 80 pounds. The bear likely wandered from the foothills of the Bradshaw Mountains. The brute will be released in northern Arizona.

23,000 tornado victims in the South have applied for FEMA assistance to help rebuild.

5-4- The Lovely Mrs. Blueduck receives the rattlesnake badge for spotting the first bastard of the season this morning. Thankfully she was in her car on the way to work instead of feeding the dogs on our porch.

The Bull Fire is 89% contained. Now the human caused Greaterville Fire in the Santa Rita Mountains in southern Arizona has burned 5,000 acres and is 5% contained.

Record flooding is feared in the South. “High water is rippling down the Mississippi River like a pig through a python.” Areas near Memphis are already flooding.

In the same area where 20 people died in a flash flood last summer six Boy Scouts were trapped by rising water. They were able to keep a fire burning and had food. The boy’s adult leaders had them set up camp near a mountain they could climb if their trail became flooded. (This was part of a series of decisions that saved their lives.) They were rescued two days after the planned departure from camping by a helicopter in the Albert Pike Recreation Area in south western Arkansas.

A three mile path of destruction is cut by a tornado in Auckland, New Zealand with one killed and twenty injured. Tornadoes are rare in this region.

Extremely dry weather has sparked wildfires in Scotland and Ireland. Rainfall in England & Wales are at 21% of normal with the highest average temperature in April for 353 years of record keeping.

Arctic ice is melting faster than previously thought and could raise global sea levels by as much as five feet this century. It would submerge small islands, flood New York subways and inundate low lying areas in Florida. The report will be discussed with an international group of scientists this week. (Sounds like a fucking disaster movie.)

5-5- High ozone Pollution Advisory issued for the Valley today in Phoenix.

The Greaterville Fire in southern Arizona is 90% contained.

A 52 year old woman is rescued off Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale due to heat related stress.

From Illinois to Mississippi thousands have been forced from the their homes as the Big Muddy continues to rise. The Mississippi River rose above the 46’ flood stage mark set in 1937 in Caruthersville, Missouri. Contributing factors are massive amounts of spring rain and snowmelt from Montana. A third section of a Missouri levee is blasted open to offer some relief from the relentless pressure of the river.

“Exceptional drought”, the worst category, expands from Texas to parts of Oklahoma, Kansas, Louisiana and New Mexico. March rainfalls were the lowest on record in Texas. The last seven months in Texas have been the driest consecutive months on record going back to 1895.

5-6- A 25 acre, human caused, wildfire began today near White River in the White Mountains. All electric and phone service is off on the reservation community. Thankfully the fire is already 30-40% contained.

It occurred to me today I have not seen any quail chicks yet on The Land. It is not surprising as it has been so dry. Not a blade of new grass this spring except the small patches where I frequently pee. As my dad says “its dry, dry, dry, nothing but blowing sand.” However I am proud to note I still continue to feed the thriving quail population daily on The Land. But just once I would like to get out my trusty twelve gauge and pop seven or eight for a fine dinner. The Lovely Mrs. BlueDuck will have nothing of it and threatens to leave my sorry ass if I do.

Barge traffic has been halted on parts of the flooded Mississippi River. 1100 residents of Memphis are urged to evacuate before the river gets higher. Parts of the famous Beale Street, home of the blues, is taking on floodwater.
Farther south parts of the Mississippi Delta are beginning to flood sending deer and wild pigs swimming for dry land, submerging yacht clubs and closing floating casinos.

5-7 The morning report was that the Locust Fire near White River was contained. The report at six p.m. was that a wind shift flared the fire back up with 500 acres burned and only 5% contained. 45 mph wind gusts with 10% humidity is not good news. 80 homes are still evacuated.
Red Flag Warnings are issued for the entire state of Arizona until 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night.
Coconino and Kaibab counties impose fire restrictions beginning today, the earliest date since 2002.

What a fine Saturday on The Land. This morning while watering trees I saw a tiny horned toad. I haven’t seen one for years. And this afternoon I saw seven tiny golfball sized quail chicks traveling with their parents. (It’s the little things that keep madness and insanity at bay.)

The Mississippi River is starting to “wrap its arms around Memphis” as it rises to record levels. According to the NWS it will crest next Wednesday at 48’, just under the 1937 record.

A first grader on a field trip to a zoo in Wichita, Kansas was mauled by a leopard yesterday. The boy scaled a railing and approached the cat’s cage. The feline stuck its paw through the cage and grabbed the boy by the side of the head. The boy suffered serious gashes on his head and neck and is hospitalized in fair condition. (Boy do I smell a lawsuit brewing here. Where was the adult supervison that allowed a five or six year old to scale a railing and approach a cage?)

5-8- There are now three fires burning in Arizona; the latest two are the Pickett Fire near Superior with 30 acres burned and zero containment. Highway 60 is closed. The second is near Sierra Vista, with one house consumed and Highway 92 closed.
By nine thirty last night the Locust Fire near White River had burned 500 acres and was 30% contained.
50mph wind gusts reported at the Grand Canyon, 45mph winds in Flagstaff, and 38mph winds in Show Low.

A State of Emergency is declared in Memphis. Emergency crews have arrived in north Memphis to help people evacuate and go to shelters.

A Canadian woman has been stranded in a remote area of Nevada for almost two months. The van, she and her husband were driving, made a wrong turn before becoming stuck. Her husband is missing. Three days after getting stuck he left for help with a GPS. She survived by eating jerky and drinking snowmelt. The woman is experiencing severe starvation but is expected to survive.

5-9- No accumulations expected but snow level to drop to 7500’ in northern Arizona today. A Wind Advisory is posted for northern Arizona and a Red Flag Warning for south east Arizona.
Maricopa County bans all open fires beginning today.

The Pickett Fire has burned 1200 acres and is 40% contained. The Locust Fire is still only 30% contained.
The latest fire to flare up in Arizona is the Horsehoe Two Fire on the New Mexico border. It is 0% contained and has forced 200 evacuations.

A fire burning 70 miles east of Lubbock, Texas has burned 65,000 acres and brings the total for Texas to 2.3 million acres since last November.

The Big Muddy, normally one half mile wide in Memphis is flowing six times the normal width at TWO MILLION CUBIC FEET PER SECOND. Four million people in the South are in a flood zone that has been replaced by farms over the years.

Tropical Storm Aere kills 17 in the Philippines; three were buried in a house by a landslide and ten others have drowned.

5-10- Another Red Flag Warning posted for south east Arizona from noon to 8:00 p.m. today.
A half inch of snow and hail recorded in Flagstaff, snow and sleet in Greer.
A beautiful partly cloudy, breezy day at The Land with a cool high (for May) of 72 degrees.

April was a wild weather month (but we at Blue Duck Weather already reported this to you) for the U.S. and not just for tornadoes. Illinois, Ohio, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Indiana and West Virginia set records for the wettest April since 1895. The fire season for Texas and the South West is already the worst since 2000.

The Big Muddy crested in Memphis at 2:00 a.m. this morning just shy of the all time record. “Carnival like atmoshphere on Beale Street as tourists gape at the high water.”

Now Louisiana is preparing for the worst; Baton Rouge is warned to expect five to twenty five feet of water.

Tropical Storm Aere leaves the Philippines with 22 dead, 210,000 affected and 6400 in evacuation shelters. Agricultural areas were spared damage and farmers welcomed the rain.

5-11- The Pickett Fire near Superior is fully contained 1300 acres. However the Horseshoe Two Fire in the Coronado National Forest near New Mexico is only 5% contained with 8900 acres burned.

New Mexico is so dry there have been twenty seven wildfires in four days. The first three months of the year have been the second driest on record. 400 fires have happened since January 1st of this year and have burned 400 square miles. The Lincoln National Forest in south east New Mexico will be closed beginning tomorrow, not just fire restrictions, but completely shut down for visitors.

Eighteen year old twins are killed after a storm blew down a large tree onto their family’s house in North Carolina. The girls were watching television together when it happened.

5-12- The Horshoe Two Fire has burned 10,000 acres in the Coronado National Forest and is only 10% contained.
Fire restrictions begin today in that forest until July 18th.

A few days ago your fine staff at Blue Duck reported that the Big Muddy was flowing at a mind staggering two million cubic feet per second. Here is perspective of how much water that is: It is comparable to a football field of water at a height of 44’ per second.
“The relentless floodwaters of the Mississippi River surge into the poverty stricken Delta region, bringing misery to hundreds of people forced from their homes and swamping massive tracts of fertile farmlands.”
Saving some from flooding will mean flooding other areas. Five counties in Mississippi are declared distaster areas and up to five thousand people will be displaced.

One hundred dead endangerd green sea turtles have been seized by Philippines custom officials. The turtles were to be smuggled to various countries and their value was a half million dollars.

5-13- The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 13,000 acres with no word of containment as of this writing.
Federal engineers are close to opening a massive spillway that would protect Batan Rouge and New Orleans but flood thousands of acres in Louisiana. 25,000 people are packing, wondering if they will have homes to come back to.

An eleven year old boy in Iowa survives a tornado that demolishes part of his home by hiding in a clothes dryer. His panicked mother called from work when she heard a local tornado warning. She told him to get to the laundry room where there were no windows.

5-14- And yet another Red Flag Warning will be issued for all of Arizona tomorrow form 11:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m.

The floodgate is opened in Morganza, Louisiana for the first time in forty years. Some areas will be covered with twenty five feet of water. The Mississippi rising river levels “have shattered records set seventy years ago.

After falling two climbers are rescued and one dead on Alaska’s Mount McKinley.

From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports 38 degrees at 1:00 p.m. with snow on the ground.

5-15- The Horshoe Two fire had consumed 20,000 acres in the Coronado National Forest and is only 20% contained.

With the Red Flag Warning in effect for Arizona 48mph wind gusts reported in Kingman, 45mph in Flagstaff and 34mph in Phoenix. (I was remarking to the Lovely Mrs. Blueduck about the mild May weather but the trade off is wind and it is only drying out the vegetation faster. It is going to be a long fire season I am afraid.)

5-16- The Horseshoe Two Fire is still only 20% contained with 26,000 acres burned. Evacuations are ordered for the South Western Research station that has twenty structures.

The reward for two javelina shot in March in Tucson has been raised to two thousand dollars. One was found dead the day after it was shot by a pellet gun. The second finally had to be put down from its injuries.

More good news for the piss hole Lake Mead! With record snows upstream the total releases will be 12.46 million acre feet of water. The lake will raise thirty feet by early 2012. This will avoid water shortages (supposedly) for five more years.

Seven thousand people are evacuated In the town of Slave Lake, Alberta from a wildfire and high winds. A third of the buildings in town have been destroyed including a shopping mall. Ninety percent of the residents have left after winds turned the fire on the town.

As of today there are 116 fires burning in Alberta with 39 out of control. Warm, dry windy conditions have contributed with a total of 206 square miles burned. (When I think of Canada I certainly don’t think of wildfires. But I’m sure when Canadians think of Arizona they don’t think of snow.)

5-17- Snow level in Arizona drops to 7000’ with no accumulations expected.
Seventy seven degrees at The Land with a 15mph wind has a chill factor of 75 degrees, in May!

NAOA satellite images have confirmed 625 tornadoes in April across the south with 4-27 and 4-28 being the strongest.

Eleven of the twenty five Morganza spillways have been opened releasing 100,00 cubic feet per second of the swollen Mississippi and flooding 8,000 acres of farmland in Louisiana.

The Coast Guard has closed the Mississippi River north of New Orleans to cargo vessels to reduce the pressure of rising floodwaters. Barges transporting coal, timber, iron, steel and half of America’s grain exports will cost hundreds of millions of dollars every day that they don’t move.

5-18- A seventy five degree high at The Land with a 22mph wind chill made for a cool 71. (I know its May.) A brief shower even produced .01”of rain. Wind Advisory is posted for the entire state. The snow level is down to seven thousand feet in Arizona. Apparently enough rain fell in northern Arizona to lift fire restrictions in the Kaibab and Coconino National Forests.

The Horsheshoe Two fire has burned 26,000 acres and only 25% contained. There are 800 firefighters battling the blaze. All air support has been grounded due to 50mph wind gusts.

(As if the South hasn’t had enough to deal with in the past month.) Locusts have been living in the ground for 13 years. The largest population in the world will appear in thirteen southern states in five weeks. Their “singing” in mass can reach 100 decibils. They will sing, mate and die in a matter of a few days. (I would just shoot myself if I were there.)

5-19- 49 degree low on The Land this morning! When I stepped out it smelled like wood smoke and the air quality was terrible. As I traveled north for work I noticed it wasn’t any better. I heard later that the storm yesterday had such strong winds that the jet stream brought smoke from the wildfires in Alberta, Canada this far south, amazing!

Yesterday’s high of 72 degrees in Phoenix was only shy of two degrees of the lowest high ever set in 1921.

The Horseshoe Two Fire is 25% contained with 33,000 acres burned. It’s smoke is traveling as far east as Texas.

A 69 year old man has been claimed by the flooded Mississippi in Vicksburg. Two firefighters in a patrol boat saw him clinging to a flooded fence. It was too late when they reached the man.

4800 people have been displaced by flooding in Mississippi.

Spring storms have piled up snow on top of already record levels in the West and major flooding is expected in June. All western states except for Arizona and New Mexico have had record snow fall.

There is 23’ on the Trail Ridge Road in the Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. Wyoming’s snow pack is 250% of normal in areas above the state’s major river basins.

5-20- The Mississippi River crests in Vicksburg, Mississippi at a new record of 57.1’ above flood stage.

Osprey chicks are being rescued from their treetop nests as floodwaters rise in Lafayette, Louisiana. As the water gets closer to their nests they become vulnerable to alligators. Alligators can jump up to three feet out of the water. Their powerful tails can power them almost vertically while their hind feet skim the water.
A state alert in Louisiana has been issued to warn people to be careful of displaced poisonous snakes and bears on the move from flooding.

According to my National Wildlife Federation calendar today is “Endangered Species Day.” I don’t remember ever seeing this before or when it was proclaimed. It struck me a bit odd and out of place. What are we supposed to do, have a toast? Or maybe shoot a spotted owl and wipe our ass with the feathers? I mean what is there to celebrate or even honor? I know what I should do, hop on a plane for Siberia and hug a fucking polar bear.

5-21- High water causes three buried caskets to float at a Yazoo, Mississippi cemetery. This cemetery has not been flooded since it was built in 1859.

5-22- The Horseshoe Two fire in south east Arizona is a stubborn bastard. It has been burning since May 8th and as of today has consumed 37,000 acres and remains at only 25% contained. On top of that a Red Flag Warning for high winds has been issued for tomorrow.

An EF-3 tornado has been confirmed in Reading, Kansas. One man was killed and twenty homes destroyed in the small town. Some residents reported baseball size hail.

Landslides destroy a Malaysian orphanage killing fifteen boys and an adult. Nine other people survived.

Five baby bobcats have been photographed in a tree behind an abandoned house at Tatum and Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale, Arizona. (I wonder where mama is? I would hate to be taking “cute” pictures and see her come back totally pissed off.)

5-23- The Horseshoe Two Fire has burned 40,000 acres and still is only 25% contained.
The Laguna Fire five miles north of Yuma has burned 751 acres along the Colorado River. Thanfully it is 90% contained.
A brush fire is reported near Highway 87 north of Punkin Center.

The deadliest single tornado ever to strike Missouri has killed one hundred and sixteen people. It is the strongest tornado in the United States since1947.
The EF4 tornado had winds of 198mph with a debris cloud 18,000 feet high. Papers and x-rays found sixty miles from Joplin where the tornado tore the town in half. Two thousand buildings destroyed.

5-24- Another deadly blast of tornadoes in Oklahoma and Kansas today. Four were killed in Grady Count, Oklahoma. One tornado may have been an EF5.
So far this year there have been 488 deaths nationally. The average is 50. The cause for the tornado onslaught is the Jet stream from the Rockies and the northern Plains colliding with warm air from the south.

More Red Flag Warnings for Arizona and a High Ozone Alert for Phoenix.

Recently there has been so much rain in Montana that broad areas in the south eastern part of the state are underwater. One person is dead and a fifty mile stretch of I-90 is closed. The Indian community of Lodge Grass is completely cut off from surrounding areas.

5-25- The latest tornado outburst kills fourteen in Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas. Forty five million people are under threat of severe weather across the Mid West and the South.

The death toll in Joplin, Missouri is one hundred and twenty five with seven hundred injured.

Relentless snow in Colorado prompt Aspen and Arapahoe Basin ski resorts to reopen as long as the snow keep falling.

5-26- Allergy season ain’t over yet! Ragweed pollen in Phoenix today the worst in the nation.

There have been various reports about the missing in Joplin, Missouri but the official count is 232. It is hoped that many are alive with friends or family in other homes that weren’t destroyed.

Tornadoes strike Memphis, St. Louis and Kansas City.

A rare tornado reported in northern California. Blizzard conditions in the Sierras.

In south east Montana, Crow tribal officials send search teams to remote parts of their reservation to look for stranded people due to flooding. 75 homes have been damaged and 150 are in shelters.

Thousands of people along the Philippine coast move to emergency shelters as Typhoon Songda approaches with 93mph winds.

5-27- The first 100 degree high at the Land for the season. The first 100 in Phoenix was on April 1st.

Three hundred thousand dollars in federal funds have been allocated by the Arizona governor for last summer’s Schultz fire victims near Flagstaff. Concrete barriers and sandbags will be constructed to help preven further erosion from flash flooding.

The death toll keeps rising in Joplin, Missouri and now is at 130.

The flooded Musselshells River covers portions of the small town of Roundup, Montana with as much as six feet of water. Eastbound I-90 lanes from Livingston to Springdale are closed due to flooding.

5-28- Red Flag Warnings posted in Arizona today. Wind gusts of 43mph in Flagstaff, 23mph in Sedona and 30mph in Kingman.

Boaters and campers are banned from a lake and dam near Yuma because of the recent Laguna Fire. It has burned 800 acres of prime riparian habitat along the Colorado River.

Pinal County, Arizona issues a rabies alert after four skunks have been confirmed rabid. The latest happened at a Mammoth home. A skunk used a doggie door to enter a home. The owner woke up to a skunk pawing at his face. He was able to get the skunk outside where he killed it with a shovel. “Rabies is basically 100% fatal once symptoms appear.” (The dude is lucky the skunk didn’t spray while he was getting it out of the house. That would feel 100% fatal.)

The confirmed dead in Joplin is up to one hundred and forty two people. One hundred are still missing or unaccounted for. One eighteen year old boy missing since the tornado was found dead in a pond yesterday. He was riding in his dad’s truck after graduation when the storm struck. He was either ejected or pulled out of the truck by the violent tornado.

Overnight violent thunderstorms swept from New England to Georgia, knocking out power and killing three in the Atlanta area.

Welcome to Memorial Day weekend for some unlucky wanna be campers. A key highway into Yellowstone National Park is closed due to twenty five feet of snow and only one campground in the massive park is open. Popular Rocky Mountain National Park’s Trail Ridge road is closed due to seventeen feet of snow. Campers are urged to go to lower elevations in New Mexico or Arizona.

Snowmelt and warming rains spread flooding to Montana, Idaho and Wyoming. All eyes are on the Missouri River for the next month.

In Indiana a couple found a receipt from a Joplin hardware store on their porch. It may have blown 525 miles, the longest recorded journey of debris from a tornado. In order to reach Indiana the receipt would had to have been sucked into the tornado and then carried by the jet stream for 125 hours.
The previous record was a cancelled check that traveled 210 miles after the 1915 tornado in Great Bend, Kansas.

5-29- Red Flag Warnings issued for entire state of Arizona. 64mph winds in Flagstaff, 59mph winds in Winslow. Several wildfires popped up; one north of Winona, one near Happy Jack and one north of the Pinetop country club. No word of cause or amount of acres burned as of this report.

The President visits Joplin today. At 5:41 p.m. a moment of silence will be observed. At that time one week ago the deadly monster swept through the town.

Areas of Monatana have received EIGHT INCHES OF RAIN in the last few days.

Ten inches of snow fell yesterday in the Sierras.

450 late afternoon flights cancelled in Chicago due to powerful thunderstorms.

Heavy snowmelt and the most spring rain on record have Lake Champlain in Vermont at its highest level ever. 500 homes have been destroyed by flooding.

Grand Coule Dam is releasing massive amounts of water to make way for late season snowmelt. In these releases deadly gas bubbles are killing hundreds of thousands of fish downstream in the Columbia River.

In New York a family pet dog attacks and kills a four year old boy. When the mother tried to intervene the Cane Cosso mastiff attacked her also. She was not seriously injured before emergency crews arrived.

5-30- A cool 82 degree high on The Land. Phoenix has a high of 87 degrees. This is due to a strong cold front that generated a lot of wind. The average temperature for this day in Phoenix is 99 degrees, the record is 114 degrees. Sadly we may not see these cool temperatures until next October.

Two wildfires have destroyed twelve homes near Amarillo, Texas.

5-31- The Horseshoe Two fire is turning out to be massive. It has burned 64,290 acres and is 45% contained. It is in terrain so rugged it can only be fought by air although nine hundred firefighters are on site.
The Wallow Fire near Alpine has burned 1450 acres and forces evacuations of campers. It began two days ago and is human caused.

Emergency phone service has been disrupted across most of eastern Montana because of record breaking rain in the past week.

A heat wave with temperatures in the nineties in Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis and Washington D.C.

Evacuations in North Dakota are eminent as the Missouri River begins to rise.

Well May is now nothing more than a memory or a nightmare depending upon which part of the country you live in. But this month’s quote is appropriate in a sad but uplifting way. No matter the blow people are resilient and rebuild their shattered homes and lives after Mother Nature takes all they own. “Trees are the most trusting of all living creatures because they trust enough to put their roots down in one place, knowing they will be there for life.”

The wistful song of the month is “High Sierra” by Boz Scaggs.

Until you are floating (or riding rapids) down the Mighty Mississippi with Huckleberry Finn remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.

The Honorable, Award Winning, Distinguished, Undeterred
Professor MR Blue Duck.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

April 2011 Blue Duck Weather News


April 2011 Weather News!

From personal experiences in life I have always called April the cruel month, not necessarily from a weather point of view. The reasons are varied and unimportant. This month was cruel; from flooding in the Midwest, Texas burning down from border to border and the worst series of tornadoes the South has endured in eighty six years. A record number of tornadoes occurred this month. And now the disaster that killed so many in the South is being called the worst natural disaster since Hurricane Katrina.

Perhaps it is just me, but it seems I have heard the term “of Biblical proportions” more in the past year then ever with natural disasters. If there is any sick consolation most of the severe weather is not unprecedented. One may have to go back nearly a hundred years but it has been worse. To me “Biblical proportions” would be a dream I had long ago. Sitting on the roof of our home I watched a wall of water coming in from the west. It stretched from as far north and south as I could see. It was taller then the hills surrounding Hidden Valley where we live. In my dream I set balloons free as I waited for the wall of water. That would be a flood of “Biblical proportions.”

Except for a beautiful day on April 9th with just an average temperature of 47 degrees and .29’’ of rain on The Land, the rest of the month was dry, dusty and windy. The average daily wind speed was 8.76mph. With low humidity and dew points Arizona is drying up into a powder keg waiting to go off. Appropriately enough this month’s weather song is “Arizona Dust” by Blue Rodeo.

Thankfully the average temperature on The Land was five degrees cooler at the end of the month than the beginning. On April 30th the high was 79. On April 1st it was near 100 degrees. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 14 degrees cooler at the end of the month.

The average temperature on The Land for April was 70.68 degrees, 48.90 degrees in the mysterious mountains of western New Mexico.

The average humidity was 26.56% and the average dew point was 31.26 degrees. (Not bone dry yet.)

If our local friends get migraines from the fluctuations in barometric pressure this month would have had them shoot themselves. From April 15th through the 30th it bounced up and down daily resulting in strong afternoon winds.

Rainfall for the year on The Land is .82’’, Phoenix 1.03’’.

And just to once again remind you of our dependence on water the following are the lake levels for the month: Mead is rising due to “government donations” and is 43% full, Pleasant 94%, Powell 52% and our crown jewel of the desert, Roosevelt 94%

Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather searched every nook and cranny to bring you news lighter if not stranger than the tragedies of the month. In this sobering, but not sober, addition of Blue Duck Weather you will read about “the perfect honeymoon”, a sacred 400 pound turtle, the best dog story ever, a new record low high in Phoenix, federal government to “give” water to Lake Mead, lizard smugglers, horses on fire (tragic), porcupines moved from the protected list to pests in one state, shooting ducks (Good God!), a multi-vortex tornado with three funnels, how a bathtub saved a woman from a tornado, armadillos pass leprosy to humans and finally, a kangaroo on the loose in Tempe, Arizona.

4-1- One hundred degrees in Phoenix breaks the old record of ninety six degrees set in 1966. This is the second earliest one hundred degree day on record. The average is May 2nd.

This is also the first day of Maricopa County’s ozone “season” which lasts through September. (It’s pretty bad when pollution monitoring is called a season.)

Heavy snow in the North East with a foot expected in eastern New York and New England.

The death toll from mud and rock slides in southern Thailand is up to 25. Twelve hundred and forty six schools have been damage.

Three skiers have been killed by a “huge” avalanche in southern Switzerland. It happened near the area where five others were killed last weekend. Warmer spring weather increases avalanche danger.

4-2- Wind Advisory issued for northern Arizona.

It has been confirmed by the NWS that nine tornadoes ripped through the Tampa Bay region two days ago. 18,000 people were still without electricity yesterday.

One foot of snow is on the ground from the latest storm in New Hampshire and Maine.

Radiation from the crippled nuclear plant in Japan is leaking directly into the Pacific Ocean.

4-3- 63 mph winds in Doni Park near Flagstaff, 56 mph winds in Winslow. A High Pollution Advisory is issued in Maricopa County due to dust. A wind driven fire breaks out near Buckeye, Arizona burning ten acres and threatening homes.

And yet another wildfiire in Colorado; this one is west of Fort Collins and 35 homes are evacuated. 50mph winds expanded the fire from 25 acres yesterday to a thousand acres today.

According to the United Nations severe drought and high food prices have left five million hungry across the Horn of Africa. A 110 pound bag of maize has increased 25% to 125% in remote areas. Cereal prices are expected to increase 50% in the next six months.

The massive search for those still missing in Japan is officially over today. Those not recovered are presumed to be buried at sea. But three weeks after Japan’s earthquake a dog has been found alive on top of a floating rooftop that had been swept out to sea. (Brother fate has no rhyme or reason.)

4-4- From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports that temperatures were in the record breaking eighties yesterday, 50mph winds last night and snow today!

The wildfire near Fort Collins, Colorado has now burned 15 homes.

A wildfire near Ruidosa Downs, New Mexico has burned 6500 acres and five homes. A race track and casino are evacuated. 1,000 homes are without electricity.

Seven hundred fishermen are missing in Myanmar after three days of storms tore apart their “rickety” boats in the Adaman Sea. 15,000 fishermen have been rescued! (You can bet these aren’t recreational fishermen by the sheer numbers. This is their livelihood and survival.)

A sick giant fresh water turtle has been captured near Hanoi, Vietnam. It will be given medical treatment as many believe the creature is sacred. It took fifty workers two hours to capture the 440 pound turtle, estimated to be eighty years old.

4-5- The latest storms in the South prompted 970 weather alerts in twenty four hours! Eight people are killed, most by fallen trees. A Georgia man and his young son were killed when a tree fell through the roof of their home. 167,000 are without electricity. One inch hail in Atlanta, wind damage in Tennessee, and unconfirmed tornadoes in Ohio.

Southern New Mexico residents evacuated yesterday because of a wind driven wildfire. With 6,000 acres burned it is only 20% contained.

A tropical storm kills thirteen and injures one hundred people in Bangladesh. Most of the dead was caused from collapsed mud thatched roof homes.

Water leaking into the ocean at 30 gallons per minute from the failed Japanese nuclear reactor is 7.5 million times above “safe” levels!

A two year old boy, dressed in light clothing, wandered from his home in Elgin, South Carolina. Frantic searchers had to postpone looking for him after the sun went down. Temperatures dropped to 40 degrees during the night. The boy was found the next morning with the familys part Labradour covering the boy to keep him warm. The boy and hero are fine.

A couple from Stockholm, Sweden set out on a four month honeymoon trip. First they were stranded in Munich, Germany due to one of Europe’s worst snow storms. Then they experienced the devastation of the cyclone in Australia, flooding in Brisbane and brush fires in Perth. Then they witnessed the 6.3 magnitude earthquake in Christchurch and finally felt the tremors of the disaster in Japan. (Sounds like my kind of trip. However, after that experience, the lovely Mrs. Blue Duck would have run screaming, proclaiming me to be the Devil!)

4-6- Plastic water bottles make up one third of all litter on Grand Canyon trails. Water filling stations are being built on the upper trails. ( I have a much better idea. Post guards that watch for people tossing trash. When they do toss trash just toss the idiots over the edge into the abyss. The buzzards will clean up the rest of the “trash.”)

Strong winds caused the fire near Fort Collins, Colorado to flare up yesterday. At only 15% containment it has burned five square miles and destroyed fifteen homes.

An extreme drought still exists in 40% of Texas, mainly in the eastern part of the state. Some areas have not had a drop of rain since last fall and wildfires continue to burn in west Texas.

“Geiger counters are almost as common as lunch boxes now for schools in Japan.”

A team of physicists and statisticians set out to challenge the scientific consensus on global warming. The Berkeley Earth Surface Temperature Project is producing results identical to those with the prevailing view that the planet is warming rapidly.

The depletion of the ozone layer reached an unprecedented low over the Arctic this spring because of “harsh” chemicals and cold water. There has been a 40% loss from the beginning of winter to March.

4-7- Winter Storm Warnings issued for northern Arizona. (But I thought it was spring.)

RyDuck issues a spring weather report from his secluded location in Colorado. At ten thirty in the morning it was 46 degrees, foggy and humid like a “San Diego morning.”

There is a severe drought from the Gulf Coast to Colorado. Parts of Oklahoma are so bad that “the grass is so dry it’s like gasoline.”

4-8- Snow Warnings issued at 6:00 p.m. for Winslow, Flagstaff and Munds Park, Arizona. I-40 closed due to blinding dust.

For the third straight year Fargo, North Dakota residents are preparing for massive flooding from the Red River. 2.5 million sandbags have been filled and stacked since February 14th. The river has risen seven feet in the forty eight hours and may crest forty feet above flood stage in two days.

4-9- Eight days ago the high was a few degrees shy of one hundred on The Land. This morning’s low was 42 degrees and the high was 52. A steady, gentle soaking rain for most of the morning produced three tenths of an inch. There was a dusting of snow on Table Top mountain when the clouds broke at four p.m.

Phoneix set a new record low high of 54 degrees. One foot of snow fell in Flagstaff with 28 inches at the Snow Bowl, two inches in Sedona and ten inches in Ashfork. The snow level dropped to 4’000 feet in Gila County. ( It was a welcome sight when April was promising hot temperatures to come earlier, and still is. But we’ll take whatever we can get for moisture and cooler temperatures. I thought my weekend morning fires outside were over several weeks ago and that was a real treat this morning.)

The U.S. Bureau of Reclamation is going to help Lake Mead by releasing 11.56 million acre feet of water from Lake Powell. An acre foot is 325,851 gallons. The bureau determined that Powell will rise above the “designated level” in which more water can be released into the Colorado River.

Firefighters from around the country are battling a wildfire in northern Texas that has burned 61,000 acres. It was caused by sparks from pipe cutting. 170 cattle have been killed and four homes destroyed. Temperatures in the 90s and winds of 35mph were helping the fire spread rapidly.

82,000 acres have burned in the past week across the state.

A family of four near Pasco, Washington survives after their car was totaled and nearly buried by an avalanche on I-90 five miles east of the Snoqualine summit. The force of the snow pushed their vehicle into a concrete barrier and shattered the front window. All of the airbags inside deployed.

A sand storm causes a pile up that kills ten mortorists and injures ninety seven in northern Germany; eighty cars were involved. (Sand storms in Germany?)

4-10- Afterday yesterday’s rain cleared out it was cool and breezy on The Land today with an average tempertaure of 49.50 degrees! On April 2nd the average temperature was 78.50 degrees, almost thirty degrees warmer!

A fifteen hundred dollar reward is being offered for the killing of a Hereford bull in southern Arizona near Sasabe. The bull was shot and left to die on or about March 21st. ( I seem to recall, from a past life, that stealing or killing someone’s cattle was a hanging offense.)

The massive range fire in north Texas is the largest in the nation burning portions of three counties and 125 square miles or 71,000 acres.

The Red River crested in Fargo yesterday at 38.75’, the fourth highest on record. Flood stage is 18’. The city hasn’t been damaged but residents are urged not to travel outside of it. Sixty miles of roads are closed due to flooding and water flowed on all four lanes of I-29 north of Fargo. This stretch of highway was actually raised recently to avoid flooding.

A tornado three quarters of a mile wide with 165mph winds injures fourteen people and flattens twelve city blocks in Mapleton, Iowa. There was baseball size hail and seven of the fourteen injured were struck by lightning at the fairgrounds. The governor has accepted a State of Emergency.

From Iowa to Wisconsin Severe Tornado Warnings” have been issued. This is a “very serious situation” exclaimed one meteorologist.

In Chicago high temperatures two days ago reached only 45 degrees but a high of 88 forecast for today. If it reaches that it would be the largest 48 hour increase in thirty years. But dramatically warmer temperatures in such a short amount of time may trigger strong winds, heavy rain and tornadoes.

Two million acres have been set aside in Alaska to try and help the endangered beluga whale habitat. Two days ago an additon three thousand square miles in the Cook Inlet were included. Since the area is so close to Anchorage critics say this could cripple the state’s development.

Eighteen hundred montor lizards being smuggled in a pickup are seized by authorities in Thailand. The Customs Department believe the lizards were bound for China to be eaten. This “delicacy” sells for seven dollars to fifteen dollars per pound in China.

4-11- Out of control wildfires in Texas have burned 400 square miles. FEMA is expected to respond. (I hope they do a better job than the pathetic response after Katrina.) Forest service officials are saying “the single most worst fire day this state has ever seen.” 50mph winds have grounded air support. Another said “It was unbelievable, just horrific. There were horses on fire, buildings on fire.”

“Unprecedented” flooding from the Red River in rural North Dakota. Cass County, north of Fargo is nearly inaccessible by vehicle.

One month after the disaster in Japan an aftershock of 6.6 is recorded. 13,178 are dead and as many missing. 150,000 are homeless. There is 14 million gallons of highly radio active water from the damaged nuclear facility that officials have no idea how to get rid of.

4-12- A Texas firefighter is in critical condition with third degree burns over 60% of his body while fighting a 60,000 acre fire north of Amarillo. Thirty three states have sent firefighting help. This year 654 fires have burned across Texas, consuming 916 square miles of land (one hundred thousand acres) and destroyed 189 homes. This past March in Texas was the driest since 1895.

It is being called the “Maple Miracle.” Storm spotters are credited for giving a critical fifteen minute warning before the devastating tornado hit Mapleton, Iowa earlier this week and destroying one hundred homes.

Up until now porcupines have been listed as a protected species in Pennsylvania. They have caused so much property damage the Game Comission is declaring an open season on the terrorist bastards.

4-13- A High Wind Advisory is posted for central Arizona and a Red Flag Warning for northern Arizona.

Two hundred residents who live near the Des Lacas River in North Dakota are ordered to evacuate because a nearby dam may fail from flood water pressure.

Residents in Valley City, North Dakota are sandbagging after forecasters predict the Sheyenne River will flood higher and faster than expected. The crest is set for tomorrow and will be two feet higher than initially feared.

The Red River is flooding in record proportions in rural Minnesota.

The Center of Biological Diversity in Tucson reports “BP’s oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico killed or sickened up to 200 times the number of animals estimated by the government.” (Does that surprise you?)

4-14- The town of Oslo, Minnesota is cut off by road access due to the flooding Red River. The only option is by boat for two miles at least for the next week.

Six people killed by lightning in Kathmandu, Nepal.

An avalanche of mud slams into a bus in Columbia killing twenty. The government says the recent LaNina weather pattern, which has killed hundreds and forced two million from their homes, is the worst natural disaster in the country’s history.

4-15- Ozone Health Watch issued for the Valley today in Phoenix. (‘Tis the season.)

A Glendale, Arizona man is being sought for shooting ducks and posting it on a You Tube video. The man’s girlfriend recorded him shooting the ducks at a Glendale apartment complex. The video shows the man dropping food on a sidewalk to lure the ducks before shooting them. The man said “this is what people do in Arizona when they get bored.” (Catch the fucker and shoot his ass Sheriff Joe!)

Unconfirmed tornadoes, one a mile wide, have killed nine people in Oklahoma, Nebraska and Arkansas. But to add to the misery more damage was done by deadly straightline winds, sudden violent downbursts that strike with hurricane force in the dark of night.

Two hundred and fifty confirmed tornadoes in the South already this year.

A spring blizzard dumps sixteen inches of snow in Paxton, Nebraska and closes the state’s main highway, 170 miles of I-80 for 17 hours.

A new wildfire west of Dallas, Texas has burned 30 homes, displaced 275 people and burned 20,000 acres.

4-16- A volunteer firefighter has died fighting one of the fires in Texas. He was overcome by smoke, fell into a ditch and was “consumed”. 400,000 acres have burned across the state so far.

Two years after an arsonist set the largest fire in L.A. County history the National Forest Service and other state and federal agencies will plant three million trees on ten thousand acres. The project will take three years and also involves removing invasive plants and restoring habitat on another forty thousand acres. The 2009 Station Fire burned 161,000 acres, destroyed 89 homes and killed two firefighters.

The Red River crests at Grand Forks, North Dakota at 49.87’ complicated by falling snow. Eight inches have fallen west of Fargo.

The death toll from deadly storms in the South rise to 17. North Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi and Oklahoma are the hardest hit. A State of Emergency has been declared for the entire state of Alabama. A “multi-vortex” tornado with two funnels reported in this state.

A Tornado Emergency is in effect from Raleigh, North Carolina and north to Pennsylvania. April has an average of 150 tornadoes. That many have been reported in the last three days.

4-17- There were 94 unconfirmed tornadoes in North Carolina last night. Eleven people are confirmed dead in Bertie County and four in Bladen County. Deaths in five other states the last three days bring the total to 45. The governor declares a State of Emergency with the most tornadoes since March of 1980.

4-18- Wind Advisory issued for northern Arizona and a Red Flag Warning for south east Arizona.

Texas governor asks for his state to be proclaimed a federal disaster area and subsequent federal aid.

A homeless man is being charged for a fire near Austin that has burned 100 acres and damaged 20 homes. He said he left his campfire unattended when he went to a store to buys some beer. There is a state wide ban on burning of any kind.

Late snow storm for Chicago leaves three inches on the ground.

4-19- Due to fifty feet of snow pack in the higher elevations Lake Powell will receive enough water to help the poor old piss hole known as Lake Mead. This lake will raise 23’ by summer’s end filling it half way.

“Wildfires have Texas under Siege.” So far this year 1.65 million acres have burned. Fires are burning across the entire state with forty active fires. 224 homes have been destroyed. (It is not even summer!)

A wildfire burning 70 miles from Fort Worth has grown from 63,000 acres to 150,000 acres in one day.

The drought is so bad in Texas one National Weather Service meteorologist compares it to a Category 5 hurricane for potential damage.

4-20- One survivor from last weekend’s tornadoes in North Carolina huddled in her bathtub for protection. She was found in the bathtub about seventy five yards from what was left of her home.

Rescuers searching for three hikers missing in Utah’s National Park actually found nine huddled in a remote canyon. “The conditions in the canyon were horrendous with swiftly moving freezing water.”

Another massive fish die-off has officials puzzled. Thousands of sardines turned up dead in Ventura Harbor in California apparently using up all of the available oxygen.

4-21- A Phoneix intersection at 43rd Avenue and Greenway is closed when a swarm of bees stung motorists, forcing them out of their vehicles. One man was hospitalized in serious condition and two others treated at the scene. Two dogs in the surrounding neighborhood were stung to death.

A two year old girl in the Cave Creek, Arizona area was bitten by a coyote last week. Since the animal got away she will be given precautionary rabies treatments. Coyotes in the area will be trapped and tested for rabies. It is extremely rare for a lone coyote to approach a human and the odd behaviour has Arizona Game and Fish concerned.

Light rain and higher humidity are helping firefighters west of Fort Worth. The fire is 25% contained and 160 homes have been destroyed.

4-22- Earth Day! Hayduke lives!

A landslide buries tents near an illegal mine shaft in a southern Philippines village killing three and twenty one are missing. Soldiers, police and miners used shoevels and their bare hands to dig out eleven surviviors from mud and rock. The landslide happened after heavy rain while the miners were sleeping.

4-23- First EF4 tornado with 200mph winds hits St. Louis, Missouri. Heavy damage was sustained at Lambert Airport with the entire roof of one concourse lifted off sending shattered glass within. There were several injuries reported at the airport and it is closed indefinitely. Called the worst storm in forty years 750 homes were damaged in St. Louis County.

Tornado Warnings are also posted from Texas to Ohio.

High winds cause a Red Flag Warning to be posted in south east Arizona and Wind Advisories in northern Arizona.

4-24- 45mph wind gusts in Flagstaff and a Wind Advisory is also posted for Maricopa County.

Firefighters are making progress battling fires across Texas. One fire near Fort Davis in west Texas has burned 205,000 acres and is only 25% contained.

4-25- One thousand people are evacuating in Poplar Bluff, Missouri. The levee that protects the town from the Black River may burst. People in flood prone Kentucky are also packing up. Some areas have received 10-15” of rain in the past four days. The NWS reports “The levee is weakening by the minute and may fail at any time.”

The latest tornado in Little Rock, Arkansas sets an all time record for this time of year in the South; 292 confirmed tornadoes so far.

The bodies of two missing skiers have been found under fifteen feet of snow in the Grand Tetons. A park spokesperson said the two were in their tents and inside their sleeping bags when they were swept away by an avalanche last weekend.

4-26- Wind Advisories and Red Flag Warnings are posted across entire Arizona. Sustained winds in Flagstaff of 40mph, 25mph with a peak wind gust of 39mph in Phoenix. (Weather officials have expressed grave concern of the potential of wildfires in southern Arizona. With a dry winter, and now wind with humidity levels in the teens and dew points in the single digits, this area is as prime as New Mexico and Texas. Gulp!)

“Breaking News”: The levee protecting Poplar Bluff, Missouri has breached. Thirty areas have overflowed and too dangerous to sandbag. The entire state is under a State of Emergency. Fifteen inches or rain has fallen in some areas in four days!

“The town is gone.” Nine folks were killed in Vilonia, Arkansas and sixty unaccounted for after a tornado leaves of path of destruction 15 miles long and three miles wide. Winds were 135mph!

Six Tornado Watches have been issued in 13 states. When all is said and done this record extreme weather will have affected 150 million people in the Midwest, the South and East portions of the country.

4-27- The Phoenix area was rated the 2nd worst in the nation last year for fine particle air pollution. Maricopa County is whining because one of the pollution monitoring stations is in Pinal County. The stinking, dusty cow shit farms are skewing the pollution readings according to them.

Another night of severe weather in the South leaves one dead in Arkansas and three in Mississippi. One was a police officer camping with his daughter. They were in a tent at a state park. The man covered his daughter with his body to protect her. A tree limb struck him in the head, his daughter was not injured.

One hundred homes damaged by a tornado near Canton in East Texas.

A woman in New Mexico, out for a walk, has died after being attacked by four pit bulls. An officer said he found the dogs mauling the woman. He fired several shots at one of the dogs and managed to scatter the rest. Three of the dogs were caught and the one that was shot was found dead under a house.

4-28- Two hundred and ninety folks in five states lost their lives last night after killer tornadoes struck. Tuscalousa and Pratt City, Alabama have been virtually leveled. The President declares parts of Alabama a federal disaster and will travel there tomorrow. An EF-5 tornado with wind gusts over 200mph has not been confirmed by the NWS. Other states with lost lives and major property damage are Mississippi, Tennesee, Georgia and Virginia.

Red Flag Warnings and fire watches posted for the entire state of Arizona through eight p.m. tomorrow. A one hundred acre brush fire is 80% contained near Sunset Point north of Phoenix.

Louisiana researchers have concluded that armadillos can pass leprosy to humans. Up until this research it was thought the disease was only passed from human to human. Every year 100-150 people in the U.S. are diagnosed. Most of them are from Texas and Louisiana.

4-29- “Southern Storms: Worst disaster for U.S. since Katrina.” Deadliest tornadoes since 1932. The death toll is up to 328, two thirds of them in Alabama. Concord, Alabama is so devastated that authorities have closed the town to keep out gawkers with cameras. The President says he has never seen devastation like this. 2,000 National Guard troops are deployed to help.

One woman and her two daughters survived by climbing into a tanning bed and closing the lid. The woman’s tanning salon was destroyed.

A family of four, dining at a restaurant, hid in the cooler with twelve employees. The restaurant was leveled.

A baby was found alive in a crib covered by debris of a home knocked down to its foundation.

4-30- It just keeps getting worse in the South from the recent tornadoes. It is now called the second deadliest series of storms since 1925 with 342 souls lost. TEN THOUSAND buildings destroyed.

Residents of Tuscaloosa, Alabama are now dealing with looters. One woman said “The first night they took my jewelry, my watch, my guns. They were out last night doing it again.” Police have imposed a curfew and the National Guard is helping to stop the scavenging. (Just shoot the fuckers on sight!)

In Tuscaloosa one tornado left an 80 mile path, the longest in Alabama history. That tornado has been categorized as an EF-4 with 165mph winds.

It has also been confirmed that an EF-5 tornado with 205mph winds killed 13 in Smithville, Mississippi.

The Pull fire on the Arizona border with Mexico has burned 2300 acres in the Coronado National Forest. State wide humidity is in the single digits.

A wallaby was seen looking into a window of a home in Tempe, Arizona staring at the homeowner’s pet dog. Police responded with some disbelief. Sure enough “Wesley”, two feet tall and weighing 35 pounds was retrieved by his owner who lived nearby.

Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather ended this dismal weather month on a lighter note, a fucking kangaroo in Tempe. I can just see the cops roll their eyes when they received that report. But what is the old saying? “I have to laugh to keep from crying.”

Hopefully the quote of the month that I stole brings some solace to the grim weather events of the last month. “Man must rise above the Earth- to the top of the atmosphere and beyond- for only then will he fully understand the world in which he lives.” (How about my rooftop in a dream?)

Until next month remember, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.

The Honorable, Distinguished Professor MR Blue Duck.