November 2008 Weather News!

Well, I know Thanksgiving is not the day for giving and getting special gifts. I believe that happens next month if the whole shithouse doesn’t go up in flames. But yours truly received a very special gift on Thanksgiving, RAIN! The first rain in seventy one days at The Land was not a flood maker but we will take every drop we can get. It only rains on Thanksgiving here in the desert once every twelve years. It was even more of a blessing as September and October saw no rain, the first time in thirty five years.

The cool down of fall is finally upon us, even here in the desert. Soon many of my fine feathered friends and inbred family will be arriving from as far away as Canada. Although we curse the heat of summer be thankful we don’t have year round temperatures as mild as the ones we are experiencing. Every duck in the world would live here all year leaving piles of duck shit stinking up the entire place. Soon duck hunters would arrive leaving piles of garbage in their wake of death and destruction. Then a bomb would be a blessing to cleanse this used to be paradise.

The average temperature at the Land at the beginning of the month was twenty one degrees warmer than at the end of the month. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was the same.

The average temperature on the Land was fifty seven degrees. It was thirty six degrees for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. On 11-5 it was a “nippley” ten degrees for a morning low.

The average humidity for the Land was 35.53 percent, with an average dew point of 23 degrees. There were two foggy mornings after the Thanksgiving rain and a fog alert was issued on the third morning for agricultural areas around the Valley.

The average wind speed for the month was 3.78mph. There were four days in a row with no recordable wind but it blew hard on several occasions giving us two wind chill days.

The rainfall at the Land was .22 inches leaving us a total of 6.83 inches for the year.

Lake levels are holding their own or still diminishing. Lake Pleasant is dropping fast at a level of 50%. Mead refuses to grow at 45%. Lake Powell is holding its own at 58% and Roosevelt stands at an impressive 90% for this time of year.

Now let’s get right to daily statistics of the month. You will read in the exciting paragraphs ahead that poor old southern California is still burning up. Perhaps it should be renamed from the Golden state to the Charred state. It will simply “stagger you out of your mind.”

11-1. 94 degrees in Phoenix. Twenty one days in October were over 90 degrees. Flash flood watches and snow in northern California.

11-2. Thunderstorms in Sedona. More snow in northern California. Residents in Hamlin, Texas have killed twenty rattlesnakes in the past two days; warmer weather to blame.

Heavy flooding in France has killed five in Paris.

11-3. Three and a half inches of rain and snow in northern California. Vietnam death toll from flooding has risen to fifty, eighteen in Hanoi.

11-4. Temperatures are twenty five degrees above normal in Illinois with eighty five degrees recorded in Chicago.

North Dakota food banks to only accept deer taken with arrows; worries about lead bullets. (Editor’s note: let us not forget to help feed the needy but let us always be mindful of being politically correct.)

11-5. Snow north of Flagstaff at elevations above eight thousand feet. Death toll from flooding in Viet Nam up to ninety. Ozone hole over Antarctica fifth biggest in history.

11-6. Arizona woman runs a mile after aggressive, rabid fox latches onto her arm. Freeze warning issued for Cochise county. Snow in the Sierras and a blizzard in South Dakota leaving three feet of snow. Tropical storm Paloma headed for Cuba. Landslides from heavy rain in China kill seventy two, sixty thousand evacuated. Freak storm in the Philippines capsizes ferry killing seventy two.

11-7. Arizona health officials issue rabies warning. Snow helps Utah start early ski season. Blizzard traps hundreds of drivers overnight in South Dakota; three foot drifts in Rapid City. Hurricane Paloma headed toward Cayman Islands as a category three with 115mph winds.

Thieves caught with twelve pigs crowded into a mini van outside of Budapest. (Trust me my faithful readers this is madness. I have driven a van with a pig in back. The only thing that kept the damned swine out of my and Goedert’s lap was a wooden pallet tie wired between the two front seats!)

11-8. Hurricane Paloma heads toward Cuba as a dangerous category four storm and tens of thousands are evacuated. Major crop damage feared already damaged by the past two hurricanes of the season.

11-9. Pea sized hail in Sun City, Arizona with 45mph winds. Heavy snow in Flagstaff with six inches above seven thousand feet. Hundreds of homes damaged in Cuba from Paloma but the hurricane is downsized to a tropical storm as it moves east.

11-10. Great Plains digging out after blizzard dumps forty five inches of snow near Deadwood, South Dakota. There are twenty foot snowdrifts in southwestern South Dakota.

ONLY IN CALIFORNIA: four hundred squirrels placed on birth control in the city of Davis.

11-12. Idaho woman finds a frozen pig’s head stuck on a pole in her front yard.

11-13. Wind advisory for western Arizona. Temperatures ten degrees above normal in the Valley of the Sun. Seven rescued after storm washes out road on Oregon coast. How tornados form is still a mystery but a new study shows dust pollution in atmosphere my nudge super cell thunderstorms into spawning twisters.

Surfer claims whale tapped him with its tail when he skimmed over the whale.

11-14. Fires fueled by 75mph winds burn one hundred luxury homes in Santa Barbara, California and injure thirteen. “Regional haze” or smog stretching from the Persian Gulf to Asia threatens health and food supplies for the entire world. Huge plumes have darkened mega cities in Asia by twenty five percent.

11-15. Red flag warning for central and south west Arizona. Patients evacuated from L.A. hospital due to fires. Five hundred mobile homes destroyed. Orange County loses a dozen buildings. Lake effect snow in northern Ohio. North Carolina storm turns into tornado killing two.

11-16. Fifty thousand evacuated from California wildfires. Three major fires have destroyed eight hundred homes. Many people had five minutes to evacuate. Wind gusts fifty miles per hour in L.A. County with twelve percent humidity.

11-17. Wind power being studied on Navajo Nation in Arizona. Eighty seven degrees in Phoenix broke old record of eighty six set in 1990. Nine hundred homes scorched in southern California, San Diego wildfires force evacuations. Falling boulders close cabins at Yosemite National Park. Great Lakes blanketed in two feet of snow. Authorities in Oregon and Washington bracing for mudslides and road closures from heavy rain. Snoqualmie River six feet above flood stage. Some Texans still living in tents after Hurricane Ike, housing scarce. Tropical storm Nowl heads toward Vietnam, eighty thousand evacuated, primarily farmers.

11-18. Dry up of Lake Mead will happen in next several decades. Half of world’s population could face water shortages due to climate change by 2080, especially Asia.

11-19. Father saves two sons but drowns after car slides off snowy road and into pond in New York. Heavy rain and flooding causes power outages for thousands along Australian coast.

11-20. Eighty two year old Pennsylvania man found alive and conscious after getting lost in the woods for thirty two hours. There were snow squalls and the temperature was 18 degrees when he was found. Layered clothing saved his life after getting lost scouting for a hunting spot. Australian storms dump eighteen inches of snow in a few hours along the coast.

11-21. Seventeen degrees at the Grand Canyon and twenty two degrees in Winslow.

11-22. High pressure breaking down over Arizona and possible rain and snow for Thanksgiving.

11-23. Old subway cars in New York being dumped into the ocean to act as man made reefs. They are calling it a “green dump.” (Editor’s note: a green dump my ass! Just a clever way to dump garbage that will give off poisoning chemicals for years to come conveniently out of sight.)

Dozens of Pilot whales beach themselves in Australia and die. Eleven saved out of fifty three. (Perhaps Australia has had a “green dump” program also.)

11-24. Snow flurries at the Snow Bowl. Heavy rain predicted in southern California will cause mudslides in burned out areas.

11-25. Eight to fourteen inches of snow predicted in Arizona above nine thousand feet. Germ alert: steer clear of flatbed chicken trucks and roll up your windows. (?)

11-28. Three men enjoying the Pacific Ocean near Los Angeles were swept to their deaths by a huge wave. Afghans face winter of widespread hunger brought on partly by decades of drought.

11-30. Bad weather in the South and South East. Flights delayed from Illinois up to New York. Tornado watches posted. Weather keeps the space shuttle Endeavor form landing in Florida and touches down at Edwards Air Force Base in California.

The quote of the month from the Mighty Broadduck is this: “Take a look at your life, look at what you’ve done. If it doesn’t make you proud, go and get your gun”.

The song of the month was going to be “Whiskey Rain” by the Hickman Dalton Gang. But for reasons as deep and fleeting as the weather it will be “If We Make It Through December” by the Mighty Hag himself, Merle Haggard.

The fine staff at Blueduck Weather sincerely thanks you for your ongoing readership.

Until next month remember Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.
Professor MR Blueduck.

Blue Duck Weather, October 2008

October 2008 Weather News!

October was the mildest weather month for the state, the Country and the world since your fine staff began reporting. Either that or any weather news was drowned out by the endless drone of a collapsing economy and the upcoming selection of a President. (I use that term loosely.)

Knowing there is media bias on what is reported we did closely watch the weather maps here at Blueduck Weather. Generally it was a mild month. Hurricanes and aftermaths of hurricanes still threatened the world.

Poor old California is still burning up and it looks like no relief is in sight. They have been placed on severe drought status. Water may be rationed and fields left unplanted. This is the worst drought they have seen since 1961.

The weather was “mild” so to speak in Phoenix. October finished with temperatures ten degrees above normal. There were only two days that it reached one hundred degrees but there were plenty of nineties all month. By mid month things started to really cool down but heated back up again.

You will read more animal related stories this month. Your fine staff at Blueduck Weather has always maintained that weather affects animal behavior and survival. There were plenty of animal stories in October. While the weather seemed mild to us apparently it is driving our animal friends insane.

The average temperature difference at The Land from the beginning of October to the end was five degrees. The average difference at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was five and a half degrees. There were plenty of low twenties in the high country but the days warmed into the seventies.

The average temperature on The Land for the month of October was 68.11 degrees. The average for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 49.06 degrees.

The average humidity on The Land was 24%. The average dew point was 15.79 degrees.

The average wind speed on The Land was 3.88 mph. There was actually one wind chill day on October 11th. The wind drove the low and high down by three degrees.

There was no rain in October. The last official rain on The Land was on 9-16 and the official total for the year stands at 6.61 inches.

The major lakes in the state reported the following levels: Lake Powell is still growing at 59%. Lake Mead is barely holding it’s own at 44%. Roosevelt survived the summer nicely at 90%. Lake Pleasant is being sucked dry by the metropolitan beast and is down to 49%.

With all the dreadful news about the economy and the never ending stream of propaganda about National politics we know your red, sunk in their socket, bags under them, eyeballs are hungry for some real facts to entertain you and bore you to sleep. With that said let us get right to the weather news, or lack of it.

10-2. Pacific storm expected to dump snow in Arizona above 9500’. Three Texans found guilty of starting fire near Grand Canyon last spring. Debris from Hurricane Ike wash up on hundred of miles of formally pristine beaches. Hurricanes boost jobless claims the highest since 2001.

10-3. Hurricane Maria moving up the west end of Baja. The disappearance of birds after Hurricane Ike means a silent autumn. China Zoo feeds Pandas chicken soup to prepare them for upcoming cold season. (?)

10-4. There are still people missing in Galveston from Hurricane Ike and may never be recovered.

10-5. Snow at San Francisco Peaks in northern Arizona and a freeze warning issued for elevations above 7000’. The record high temperature in Phoenix was 104 degrees in 1987. The record low was 46 degrees in 1908.

10-6. Cold weather moving into Arkansas and Oklahoma.

Penguins get a helping hand after getting two thousand miles off course from the ant artic to Brazil. Diminished food supply from warmer weather cited as the cause. Several artic seals even ended up on the coast of Florida. New study says that one in four mammals face extinction. (Does that include humans?)

10-7. Two hurricanes forming to the south of Mexico. Hurricane Norbert moving toward the Baja Peninsula.

10-8. Wildfire north of San Diego, near Camp Pendleton. Rock slides in Yosemite destroys cabin and injures two.

Hurricane Norbert turns into a category four storm with 135mph winds. Whales and the U.S. Navy go to the Supreme Court for possible sonar damage. Whales and dolphins are dying because sonar to them is a thousand times louder than a jet airliner. The High Court decides to let the Navy to continue.

(Fuck the whales and the dolphins; this is National Security by God!)

10-9. Three albino elk photographed in Utah roaming together. California law proposed would require more space for laying hens. (Only in fucking California! As I have said many times, just put up a fence around the entire state and charge admission.)

10-10. Wind advisories for most of Arizona with red flag warnings. Hurricane Norbert moving into Mexico as it breaks up. Rain for Texas and New Mexico, lower temperatures for Arizona and Colorado form the storm’s aftermath. Polar bears becoming the poster children for Global warming but the Tropics threatened also.

10-11. 48mph winds in Show Low, 55mph winds in Flagstaff, 75 mph peak wind recorded in Winslow. Temperatures for entire state twenty degrees cooler than yesterday. Freeze warnings posted from Flagstaff to Eager. Morning lows will be 15 degrees at the Grand Canyon and 21 degrees in Flagstaff. Snow in Wyoming and Colorado. Hurricane Norbert slams into south of the California Peninsula forcing people to flee. Kenyon elephants fitted with collars that send text messages to park rangers. (Please, we don’t make this shit up.)

10-12. Flagstaff twelve degrees for a low. 750 acres north east of Los Angeles burned and fueled by Santa Anna winds. Two homes are destroyed and twelve hundred evacuate.

10-13. Two fires north of L.A. have consumed 2300 acres and frantic evacuations. Two people dead as a result of fires. California and Mexican citrus growers meet on mysterious tree disease. Hurricane Norbert’s breakup leaves snow in New Mexico and Colorado.

10-14. Firefighters gain control on fires near L.A. Santa Anna winds not as strong.

ECONOMIC FREEFALL MAY HAMPER STEPS TO SLOW GLOBAL WARMING.

10-15. Tucson Council mandates rain water collection. (?)

Snow in Rockies and rain from Chicago to Dallas.

The Virgin Islands brace for Hurricane Omar.

10-16. The record high in Phoenix was 101 degrees in 1991. The record low was 40 degrees in 1899.

10-17. Drought conditions worsen in the Western Appalachia’s. The Beluga whales of Alaska’s Cook Inlet are endangered and require more protection. Ravenous army ants on the march in Texas devouring wheat and other crops.

10-18. The record high in Phoenix was 103 degrees in 2003. The record low was 43 degrees in 1966.

Fire near L.A. that consumed fifteen homes now fully contained.

10-20. Temperatures in the Phoenix area ten degrees above normal.

10-21. Yours truly spots heavy smoke approximately thirty miles west of The Land. No mention on local news. Tucson policy denies water to certain communities. (?)

10-22. Massive tire yard south of Phoenix with seven million tires burns. Arson suspected.

Red flag warning for Kingman.

Snow in the Dakotas. Wood eating beetle threatens trees and syrup industry in New England trees (sound familiar?)

Czech group works overtime to save dwindling hedgehogs. Three hundred and fifty thousand are killed annually due to building and more autos. (I say road kill for the needy!)

Two found dead after fishing boat goes down in Alaska, five still missing.

10-23. One hundred acres burning near L.A.

Snow in South Dakota, Kansas and Nebraska.

Ten foot python crushes owner to death in Virginia.

Montana woman fights off aggressive doe that attacks her poodle.

10-24. The high in Phoenix was 96 degrees last year. The low was 41 degrees in 1920.

10-25. Seven Puget Sound Killer whales are missing and presumed dead.

This is the biggest decline in a decade according to scientists who carefully monitor and track the endangered species.

10-26. Dog risks life to guard litter of kittens in a house fire in Sidney, Australia.

10-27. 48mph winds in Tucson. Pinal County under health advisory due to particulates from wind. Cold Arctic blast in Michigan with snow. Frost in Deep South. Nevada man charges and scares off mountain lion ready to attack the man’s son as he returns home from a bike ride.

10-28. The North East has first snow storm of the season closing roads, school and causing blackouts. Another greenhouse gas, methane is on the rise.

Editor’s note: Cow and human farts are abundant in the good old U. S. A.

10-29. People in the North East still without power a day after major snow storm.

Twelve degrees above normal in Phoenix.

10-31. Drought stricken California to cut water deliveries to 15% of what is currently the amount that water agents throughout the state request each year. Could force rationing and suspend growing season.

Flooding kills twenty in Vietnam. A cheetah escapes container in the cargo hold of a Boeing 757 flight in Atlanta.

A baggage handler discovered the cheetah on the loose and authorities tranquilized it.

Thousands of Saudi men show up for beauty pageant featuring sheep (I swear, we do not make this shit up!)
Cat survives crossbow attack in Alabama trailer park.

(No ideas Ryduck!)

(RYAN, Mrs. Duck here....DON"T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Well, there you have it my faithful readers. If you are still awake we shall move on to the quote of the month by the Mighty Broaduck. It is the best ever and the beginning of a song he and I will write and send to Rose-Acuff Publishing. We shall then retire and I will have more time to write more mindless gibberish.

“ Find an old dirt road and see a glimpse of the past. Realize life is better when it doesn’t move too fast.”

The song of the month is partly about climate change and animals, a haunting and whimsical tune by Led Zeppelin; “That’s The Way.”

One line has always intrigued me as it says

‘'All the fish that lay in dirty waters dying, had they got you hypnotized?’’

Never forget Pioneers took bullets and Settlers took land.

Until next month,

Professor ( &don’t forget it) MR Blueduck.

September Blue Duck Weather News

September 2008 Weather News!


Atlantic hurricanes were the talk of the planet for the first two thirds of last month. It seems they lined up in a row like massive bombers waiting to thunder off of some cosmic runway dropping bombs of torrential rain, wind, death and destruction.

Here at home it seemed the monsoon season would never end. I thought it blew out its last stinky, juicy putrid fart on September 11th. We had massive winds, dust and a trace of rain. The humidity and dew points dropped after that day and then climbed right back up a week later. One weather “official” declared it over on the 23rd of last month. The new “official” end of the monsoon is September 30th. By then I noticed a pattern of easterly wind flow, more indicative to the end of the torture. They may have got it right this time.

On June 10th Mrs. Blueduck asked me my prediction for the upcoming summer monsoon. I told her, in all of my infinite wisdom with a cloud around my brain, that it would be a cooler summer than normal, a bad fire season, and three inches of rain for the monsoon. Of course I was right on all account. You only have to read the weather reports from July until now to see my duck given brilliance.

I also promised to torture you with the number of days over one hundred degrees for the month. It is safe to say we are out of the one hundred and ten degree days but September had enough days over one hundred. Phoenix had a total of twelve and The Land had six days. Let us get right to the weather facts of last month and the stimulating weather knowledge you will gain to impress all of your friends and family.

The average temperature at The Land was actually two degrees warmer at the end of September than the beginning, but the humidity was down twenty three percent and the dew point was down nineteen degrees. The average temperature for the month was 85.31 degrees.

The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill fell eight degrees from the beginning of the month to the end; the overall average temperature was 58.18 degrees. (At that elevation there is actually a promise of autumn coming.)

The average humidity at The Land was 37.36 percent and the average dew point was 52.33 degrees, just under the monsoon dew point for the entire month.

The average wind speed was 4.56 mph.

Lake Mead stands at 44% empty. Lake Powell is trying to make a recovery at 60%. Lake Pleasant is down to 49% (my guess is due to farming and irrigation.) Roosevelt stands at an impressive 90%. Yes, we have enough water to flush our toilets, hose down driveways, leave the drip irrigation on even when it is raining and keep our DUCK PONDS FULL for the winter.

9-1. Two men had to be airlifted from a Tucson wash as truck gets stuck in flashflood. Five of last seven days in Phoenix have been below one hundred degrees.

Hurricane Gustav makes landfall as a category two storm in Cocodrie, Louisiana. New Orleans avoids catastrophic damage so far but levees still vulnerable. One million without power with winds at 110mph. Oklahoma may receive twenty inches of rain as Gustav moves northwest. Hanna is upgraded to a hurricane and behind her is Ike.

9-2. New Orleans evacuees will not be able to return home until September 4th due to power outages and flooded streets. Southern Atlantic states put on alert as Hanna churns and gathers momentum. Hurricane Gustav moves over Central Plains reduced to a tropical storm.

9-3. In Phoenix 40th Street between Shea and Cactus still closed from the storms on August 28th. Hurricane Ike has turned into a category three storm. Hanna has killed twenty six people in Haiti. Nineteen square mile piece of ice breaks off in the Artic north of Canada.

9-4. Hurricanes Hanna, Ike and Josephine lining up. Hanna will smack the Carolinas by 9-6. Ike is the most powerful with 140mph winds. Its birth was off the African coast. One million still without power from Gustav in Louisiana. 92 degree record high in San Francisco, Ca.

9-5. Hurricane Hanna to hit the Carolinas and up the East Coast. Hanna may drop almost four inches of rain for drought stricken Eastern Seaboard. The death toll from Hanna in Haiti up to one hundred and thirty. Ten thousand are homeless. Hurricane Ike coming and may be a monster. Forty million Americans may be affected. There are twenty one more million people living along the Gulf Coast than in 1980.
Asian soot and smog may increase global warming in next fifty years.
Fifty five year old gorilla dies in Dallas zoo; the world’s oldest in captivity.

9-6. Hanna moves from New Jersey to New England and only 4mph short of being a category one hurricane. Ike is now a category four hurricane. Five hundred people in Haiti now dead from Hanna.

9-7. Hurricane Hanna leaves damage in Boston and Massachusetts. Ike heads to Florida Keys and evacuations ordered. Ike is now a category three storm with sustained winds of 120mph.

9-8. Louisiana declares state of emergency for approaching Ike. Hurricane watch for the Florida Keys has been cancelled.

Bee colonies continue to disappear and may be linked to pesticides. (Editors Note: your faithful staff at Blueduck Weather was the first to report on the mysterious decline of the bee population. Weather and climate caused or caused by the poisons of human kind it does not matter. If we lose our bee friends we lose our food.)

9-9. Golf ball size hail reported in West Phoenix. Texas ready to evacuate one million people for the arrival of Hurricane Ike. One and a half million Cubans flee Ike’s fury.

9-10. Severe weather alert for Maricopa County. Hurricane Gustav destroyed seven thousand homes in its path. Ike is out of Cuba and it looks like most of Texas Coast is in its path.

Four out of ten fresh water fish in the U.S. in peril.

9-11! Flood advisory for Pima County, Az. Severe thunderstorm warning for Maricopa County. 55mph winds recorded, Sky Harbor closed and twenty eight power poles down in Buckeye.

All eyes are on Hurricane Ike as it triples in size. Outflow winds from the center are being recorded at 74mph at a distance of two hundred and fifty miles. One million ordered to evacuate from Galveston.

9-12. Hurricane Ike is six hundred miles long and has 32 ft. storm surges. Galveston is ordered for immediate evacuation or FACE DEATH. (Editors note: I have never heard a warning issued this severe.) Two million people in Houston told to hunker down. In 1900 a hurricane killed seven thousand people in Galveston.

9-13. Health workers in Flagstaff, Az. find flee plague. (?) Humpback Chub, endangered in the Grand Canyon since 1967 taken off the list.
Major search and rescue in Galveston, Texas. Flood waters eight feet deep in areas. One thousand people rescued. A curfew is in effect to prevent looting. Millions without power and in Houston. President Bush declares major disaster.

Ike is moving north and joining cold front; may produce six inches of rain in Great Lakes area.

9-14. A week long curfew has been ordered for Houston. Rescuers have saved two thousand people who rode storm out in Galveston. Caskets pop out of ground in flooded cemetery. Hurricane Ike is the first to make a direct hit on a major city since Katrina. Bush to tour area on 9-16. As Ike moves it dumps six inches of rain in Chicago.

9-15. Federal Government to clean up mercury tainted Pena Lake in southern Arizona.

A note for blue ducks everywhere who love the blues: Bluesman Gatemouth Brown, who was chased by Hurricane Katrina, dies in Texas after Hurricane Ike.

Python “rescued” from highline wires in Sidney, Australia.

9-16. The monsoon just won’t get out of here or was it a gentle rain to honor a very special dog on The Land? He took one last stroll and a dip in the frog pond the afternoon before. The rain today helped pack the dirt on his grave.

As Ike closed in on Galveston earlier a cluster of residents stayed on the island with a lion. Rio Grande River in Texas expected to top levees and spill into bordering towns from Ike’s rains.

Pennsylvania woman mistakes skunk with neighbor’s cat and gets sprayed.
Melting Artic Sea ice second worst since 1979.

9-17. Death toll from Hurricane Ike stands at twenty one in the U.S. As Ike moves it leaves one million people without power in Ohio. Ike causes the biggest internet outage since 2003.
Payson, Arizona woman and newcomer mistakes Bull elk’s bugle as violent human screams and calls police. Hunt for poachers who killed elk near Williams, Az.

9-18. Forty nine oil platforms in Gulf Coast shut down by Hurricane Ike; some will be abandoned.

9-19. Millions still without power on the Gulf Coast and thousands of homes damaged. There are an estimated six billion dollars of damages. Waves from Ike reveals skeleton of a ship washed on a beach that may have been from the Civil War.

9-20. The record high in Phoenix on this date was 105 degrees in 2005. The record low as 47 degrees in 1965.

9-22. THE FIRST DAY OF FALL MY SHIT STAINED FEATHERED ASS! Today’s high was one hundred and one degrees. Mrs. Blueduck and BeckPeck have had a brutal summer. It is no wonder they haven’t left me to bake in the oven with an apple in my ass.

9-23. Algae bloom in Lake Eerie now visible from photos from space.
Solar wind lowest in fifty years. The lack of sunspots affecting speculations of global warming and planet may be in a cooling trend now.
Venomous army ants chase athletes of Ca. football field.

9-26. The fucking monsoon still isn’t dead; isolated thunderstorm in Queen Creek . The dew point is at 55 degrees.

Two weeks after the wrath of Ike some kids still not back in school.

9-27. Line of thunderstorms east of Phoenix; wind gusts up to 45mph. Hurricane Ike remnants leave five hundred million dollars of damage in Ohio. Hurricane Kyle forming in the Atlantic and Maine preparing.
Navajo Nation list Bald Eagle as endangered.

9-28. Long gas lines in Atlanta due to lack of fuel from Ike. Kyle brings heavy rain to Boston and Maryland.

Fourth and most powerful typhoon this year slams Taiwan with 140mph winds.

9-29. What a difference fifty miles apart, wind in Phoenix and no concrete at The Land; this morning’s low was 67 degrees compared to a Phoenix low of 83 degrees.

9-30. The new “official “ end of the monsoon season leaves Phoenix with 8.12 inches of rain. This is the tenth wettest of record keeping and the fourth wettest since 1984.

Total monsoon moisture was 5.70 inches. The normal is 2.50 inches.
Rain to date for this year at The Land is 6.61 inches.

Before we end this month’s exciting weather news I would like to make a not so humble announcement. I have been awarded a Professorship in the International Duck Forecaster Association. Many cast their votes (mainly me) and it was determined that because of the fine staff at Blueduck Weather and my brilliant weather documentation the prestigious award was presented to yours truly. Please take a moment to thank me for this accomplishment. (note from Mrs. Blueduck, there was exacatly ONE vote cast)

I know all of you have been eagerly anticipating this month’s heady contribution by The Mighty Broadduck. Without further delay here it is: “The greatest reward a man can achieve for a noble deed is a kiss from a woman; but in a pinch a peck from a duck will do. "

The weather song for the month is “South side of Heaven” by Ryan Bingham.

As always, remember Pioneers took bullets and Settlers took land. And don’t forget thieves and liars took titles(Like swamy duck knighting himself professor).

I am forever in your weather servitude.

Professor MR Blueduck.

August Blue Duck Weather News

August Weather News 2008

Special One Year Anniversary Edition

Isn’t it incredible? Already one year since this fantastic blog was set up by the brilliant Mrs. Blueduck. My time flies when you are bored out of your mind. Our vast readership has increased from one to perhaps ten people.

But now my fine readers let me divulge the reason behind the brain child of this fantastic weather journal. One year of weather data recording allows me to do just that. Beginning with this edition and every yearly edition we will report the average temperature for the year at The Land and at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. One reporting station is at approximately twelve hundred feet above sea level; the other at seventy four hundred feet. These are perfect cross sections for accurate temperature variables and reporting.

So much has been discussed about global warming and climate change. The concepts and reporting are so distorted it has nothing to do with our dear mother Earth any longer. It is all wasted in politics and economic gains. BlueDuck Weather News has been committed to giving you the weather facts as we obtain them; without bias or opinion. So, year to year, we will report average temperatures and we will see how and if they fluctuate dramatically. How many years this fine publication will be in progress is anybody’s guess. And truly it would take a hundred years of record keeping to accurately make comparisons. If your fine Editor in Chief has only a few years to give you this fantastic information so be it. At least it is honest reporting without bias (except for some occasional twisted humor.)

THE AVERAGE TEMPERATURE FOR THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS ON THE LAND WAS 77.21 DEGREES. THE AVERAGE TEMPERATURE AT TALKING TREES AND ANTELOPE HILL WAS 48.33 DEGREES. We will visit this again in twelve months. Let’s get right to the weather new of August, 2008.

The average temperature at The Land was 87.51 degrees. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 64.83 degrees. There were no one hundred and ten degree days at The Land!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The average humidity on The Land was 41.50 percent. The average dew point was 59.90 degrees. There were only two days during the entire month the dew point was below

The average wind speed on The Land was 3.67 mph.

The Land received .98 inches of rain for the month, bringing the year to date total to 6.51 inches. The total rainfall for the year in Phoenix is 8.10 inches, approximately three inches more than normal. This monsoon, as of this writing, is the wettest since 1984.

The lake levels are as follows; Lake Mead, 44%, Lake Powell, 62% (it’s still coming up), Roosevelt, 92% and Lake Pleasant is at 61%.

8-1. Ninety five degrees new high low record for Phoenix. Twenty five hundred acre wildfire threatening homes in San Diego.

8-2. Ninety one degrees new record high low in Phoenix. Twenty homes consumed by fire in Yosemite fire. Eighty percent contained and thought to have been caused by a target shooter.

8-3. Flood advisory posted for Coconino and Yavapai Counties. Two inches of rain per hour falling in Safford. Sixty mph winds in Globe. Tropical storm Edouard forming in the Gulf of Mexico and moving northward. Avalanche in Pakistan kills eleven climbers trying to conquer second highest peak in the world. Bodies may never be recovered.

8-4. Three die in Sells, Az. trying to cross flooded wash. Eduardo two hundred miles from Galveston, Texas, ten inches of rain expected.

8-5. Hail and heavy rain near Sierra Vista, Az. Heavy past rain brings relief to farmers in south east Arizona. Lake Powell sixty five feet above level it was in March. May signal the end of the drought. Lightening causes wildfire near Denver. Violent storms spawn rare tornados in Chicago.

8-6. Flash flood warning for Mohave County near Kingman (Hayduke Lives.!). Nine firefighters killed in helicopter crash in northern California. Florida dog chases off two hundred pound black bear. A couple in Colorado find a mountain lion in their bedroom. They scare the lion off but it kills a black lab. pet as it runs off. “Officials” destroy the lion because it has no fear of humans or pets.

8-7. Flood advisory for south Tucson. Eight of the last nine years have been the warmest on record for Reno, Nevada. United States arrests man for poaching thousands of lobsters. Nuclear submarine leaked radiation for two years in Japanese port. Conditions in Myanmar from cyclone two months ago still much worse than “the local government portrayed.

8-8. Last night’s thunderstorms left twenty four hundred Buckeye residents without power. Some will not have power until tomorrow. Flooding in north central Phoenix and south Scottsdale. Flights delayed.

8-9. Five hundred homes in Prescott without power due to storms. Two hundred homes in
Buckeye still without power.

Five hundred pound lion attacks woman and her niece while riding a donkey in Mexico. Woman staves off the attack with a machete. Lion had escaped a private zoo owned by a “past Congressman.” The lion was tranquilized and returned to the zoo after killing a dog and eating a pig (thankfully no ducks).

8-10. Phoenix experiencing 8th wettest monsoon ever recorded. Flooding in Mohave County. Brush fire near Buckeye started by lightning and up to four hundred acres with thirty percent containment.

Editor’s note; I spotted the smoke from this fire with my beady little eyes three days after the fire started. Until today there was no news coverage of the fire.

8-12. Mid West flooding did not damage crops as badly as suspected; bumper crops in corn and soy beans.

8-13. Thirty three dead in Valenzuela by rabies spread through Vampire bats.

8-14. Dust storm warning for entire Valley of the Sun. Severe thunderstorm warning in northern Maricopa County. Thirty five thousand without power in Tucson from last night’s storms. More than two inches fell.

8-15. Last night’s storms leave five thousand without power in East Phoenix. Man hurt when falling tree crushes car. Airport delays. Tornado warning issued south west of Flagstaff. Rare tornado warning issued for New York City. Tropical storm Faye forms near Puerto Rico. Could gather strength and hit Florida in three days.

8-16. Tornado spotted north of Williams, Az. Flash flood watch for Gila and northern Maricopa County. Fay could hit Florida as a hurricane; the Governor declares a state of emergency. Three bear attacks near Anchorage, Alaska. Remains show that Sonoran deserts were once green and lush.

8-17. Grand Canyon floods breach the Redlands Dam causing flooding in Supai ; hiking trails and foot bridge washed out. Eighty people evacuated. Eight inches of rain recorded over weekend. Visitors urged to leave Florida ahead of Fay. Tornado touches down near Houston, Texas.

8-18. Rescues continue in Grand Canyon. Eighty five people airlifted out today. Four hundred from Yavasupai village removed. Mule trail closed; the only way to get supplies and mail to the bottom of the canyon. Campsites destroyed. Rio Grande highway in south Texas closed from flooding. Sixty people rescued. Fay expected to pound Florida tomorrow with ten inches of rain.

8-19. All missing in the Grand Canyon accounted for. Fay is turning into a hurricane. Rare boomerang action causing multiple landfalls. Twenty inches of rain expected in Orlando. Prospects dim for a orphaned infant humpback whale that adopted a yacht as its mother in Sydney, Australia.

8-20. Fay floods hundreds of homes in central Florida and has stalled out producing more rain.

8-21. Forty cattle die mysteriously in Chino Valley, Az. Thirty two thousand without power in Florida due to Fay.

Heavy flooding in Houston.

Two teens trapped in snow fall in Washington State.

Bears seen making dangerous open water swim in ocean off Alaska. Northern Greenland glaciers are showing fractures and breaking up. Baby whale euthanized after days of trying to adopt boats as mother.

8-22. In five days Fay has dumped two feet of rain, thirty thousand without power and seven dead. Damages being assessed for tomato and citrus crops.

Florida cops subdue an Emu by using a taser (fucking bullies!)

(Mrs. Blueduck says use a taser on the cop!)

8-23. Border fence between Mexico and Arizona being criticized as causing flooding. (?) Fay boomerangs out of Gulf of Mexico and makes a record fourth landfall and centered along the Panhandle. Almost three feet of rain has fallen and eleven lives claimed. There are tornado warnings caused by Fay and five inches of rain per hour falling. Tropical storm Julio has formed two hundred and fifty miles south of Baja.

8-24. Julio moisture may be driven into the state with the monsoon flow. 1.22 inches of rain in Queen Creek and South Mountain. Tornado touches down near Denver.

8-25. One inch of rain in many parts of the Phoenix metro area. Small planes overturned at Chandler Airport.

Fay still dumping rain as new tropical storm Gustav gains momentum in the Atlantic.

8-26. 4.66 inches of rain for monsoon in Phoenix official rain bucket, wettest in ten years. Gustav labeled a hurricane with ninety mph winds and bearing down on Haiti. Could affect Mexican oil drilling.

8-27. Two dead in California and Arizona from flash flooding. The high in Phoenix today was ninety two degrees; the coolest since June 5th.

8-28. Havasu Canyon will be closed for six months as eight mile trail is rebuilt.

Gustav bearing down on Cuba. Expected to turn into category three hurricane. Twenty three dead in the Carribean from landslides and flooding. New Orleans placed on notice for evacuations.

Three year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina in three days. Mississippi oil rigs being shut down.

8-29. Strongest thunderstorms in twelve years hit central and east Phoenix last night. Winds recorded in excess of eighty mph. Hurricane force winds are seventy four mph. Eight million dollar sports facility destroyed at ASU.

Three quarter inch hail and two inches of rain in many places. Downed power poles and trees close intersections.

Encanto Park closed with one hundred trees down. Judge orders protection for desert Bald Eagles.

Gustav plows toward the Caymens, Cuba and the Gulf Coast.

8-30. Gustav hits Cuba with one hundred and forty mph winds. More than a million flee the Gulf Coast as Gustav approaches category five status. New Orleans evacuations are mandatory.

8-31. Eight hundred still without power in Phoenix from 8-29. Gustav went from a tropical storm to a category four hurricane in twenty four hours. Appears to be on a direct course to New Orleans.

One and a half million people homeless in India since the monsoon swollen Kosi River burst banks, spilling billions of gallons of water onto the plains of northern India. French Police found the bodies of eight hikers killed by an avalanche on Europe’s highest peak. Bodies are buried beneath one hundred and sixty five feet of ice in a deep crevice. There will be no attempt to recover their bodies.

There you have it my fine feathered readers. Another wild weather month; a tornado in Arizona, Colorado and a warning for Chicago and New York City. Gustav changed from an infant to a monster in just a few days. Fay wouldn’t die and hit landfall four times. This is shaping up to be an active and dangerous hurricane season. The reason reported is the open waters of the Atlantic Ocean are very warm causing tropical storms to draw and gain strength. Keep your duck feet crossed and your beaks toward the sky.

The quote from the Mighty Broaduck this month sounds like something from a two bit Western. “Death doesn’t scare me, it’s livin’ that has me worried.” Perhaps the Broaduck should be a storm chaser and delve into the devil’s eye of the hurricane.

His other profound, if not slightly perverse contribution this month is “The remote control is similar to the male duck’s tool. Unfortunately the misses only wants to hold one of them. (sick bastard.)

The song for the month is “Looking For The Summer” by Chris Rea. A melancholy tune that reflects the change of the light as the sun casts its shadow further south every day.

Remember, Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land. Until next month,
Editor in Chief
MRBlueduck

July, 2008 Blue Duck Weather News

July, 2008 Weather News



With past reports of the Blue Duck Weather News you have read about heavy snow warnings, tornado warnings, typhoon warnings, flash flood warnings, red flag warnings, hurricane warnings, typhoon warnings, black ice warnings, avalanche warnings, heavy flood advisories, and even low flying duck warnings. However, you will NEVER SEE “severe heat alerts.” Come on people, we live in a stinking desert. It has always been hot and it will always be (maybe.) Why have some idiot on the news tell us to drink plenty of water, wear light colored clothing, hats and lather ourselves down with enough sunscreen to baste a fat pig! We already new that. I guess it applies to the mindless idiots who jog in the afternoon wearing black clothing and the Bubbas who drink beer all day instead of water.

One more time the good old media is there to protect us from the dangers of our own stupid actions. I wonder what the media spin on temperatures over one hundred and ten degrees would be if we had limited electrical use. In other words if we were required to set our air conditioning units to say, eighty five degrees or certain hours of the day we were not allowed to use electricity at all. You can bet your blistered tail feathers it would be a whole different take. “Today’s high will be a DRY one hundred and ten degrees with a cooling (sweat) breeze of three mph out of the south west. Find a large mesquite tree and have a picnic in the shade of its branches. Remain there until the sun sets.”

Beginning with this exciting edition of Blue Duck Weather you will see a different format of reporting the daily weather events. Instead of writing in the order my beady little brain (about the size of a walnut) received weather information there will be concise reporting. You will read local weather news fist, followed by National and world weather. After that you will read animal interest news and last, and certainly least, human behavior as it relates or is affected by the weather.
Now let us get right to the amazing weather data of the month of July. The brilliance of this weather report is the fact that we report after the fact. No guesswork on the part of your brilliant Editor in Chief;

The average temperature on The Land at the beginning of the month was 96 degrees. The average temperature at the end of the month was 94 degrees. (Don’t let the slight cooling fool you. The humidity and dew point was much higher also. I don’t know what is worse, 115 degrees with three percent humidity or one hundred degrees with thirty percent humidity and a dew point of 60 degrees.) The average overall temperature for the month was 91.44 degrees.

The average temperature for Talking Trees and Antelope Hill at a cool seventy four hundred feet was 67.74 degrees. The average temperature at the beginning of the month was 69 degrees. The average at the end of the month was 68.50 degrees.

There was one day in July where the temperature reached 110 degrees at The Land. Phoenix reported four days. The warmest July on record was in 2003.

The average humidity on The Land was 42.72 percent. The average dew point was 62.11 sticky degrees.

The average wind speed on The Land was 4.79 mph.

Rain for the month on The Land was 1.59 inches. Total to date for the year is 5.09 inches.

Lake Powell stands at sixty two percent full. Lake Mead is at forty three percent. Roosevelt Lake remains at an impressive ninety four percent and Lake Pleasant is at seventy five percent full.

July 1st. The Crown King fire in the Bradshaw mountains makes national news; five percent containment at five hundred acres burned. Sixteenth day of one hundred and ten degrees or greater in Phoenix.

July 2nd. Seventeenth day of one hundred and ten degrees in Phoenix. The Lane 2 fire moves away from Crown King; ten percent contained at seven hundred and fifty eight acres. Fire burning near Santa Barbara County, California. Officials tell all residents of Big Sur as fire jumps fire line. Sage grouse decline in the West. Mid West a “mosquito magnet” as flood waters recede.

July 3rd. Lane 2 fire still at ten percent containment with nine hundred and fifty acres burned. Flood warnings east of Tucson. San Bernadino , Ca. fire at two hundred and fifty acres.

July 4th. Third day of dew points above fifty five degrees at The Land. So, the UNOFFICIAL first monsoon day was July second. Lane 2 fire has consumed eleven thousand acres and eleven structures. Six hundred fire fighters are at the scene. All of Bg Sur, Ca. evacuated.

July 5th. Residents in Crown King allowed to go home. The Lane 2 fire is at fifty percent containment with heavy rain helping. UNOFFICIAL beginning of monsoon season in Phoenix. California wildfires have consumed four hundred and sixty two thousand acres of land. Twenty three hundred people evacuated in Santa Barbara and Big Sur. Twenty homes in Big Sur destroyed. Mississippi River reopened to barge traffic after flood waters recede. Tornado watch in Bismark, North Dakota.

July 6th. Lane 2 fire at seventy five percent containment. Flood advisory issued for Yavapai and Graham Counties. The record high temperature in Phoenix for this date was 116 degrees in 1942. The record low was 65 degrees in 1902.

July 7th. The Crown King fire fully extinguished by heavy rains. Fire restrictions will be lifted in Coconino and Yavapai Counties this week due to rain. For the first time since the 1970s the National Guard has been called on to help with Southern California fires. The fire near Santa Barbara is thirty five percent contained. Black bear caught in Fargo, North Dakota wandering near freeway.

July 8th. A new fire is burning south east of Prescott, Az.; five homes lost and ninety five percent containment. High pollution advisory for Phoenix. Flash flood warning for Pima County. U.S. coral reefs suffering from warming waters, trash and over fishing. Mount. Shasta has growing glaciers, not receding. Hurricane Bertha weakens to a category one storm.

July 9th. The record high in Phoenix was 116 degrees in 1966. The record low was 66 degrees in 1928. Butte fire in Northern California consumes forty homes. One thousand evacuated along with hospital. Environmentalists sue to keep polar bears and walruses from harassment by oil companies.

July 10th. Severe thunderstorm warning for north west Maricopa County. Fire threatens four thousand homes in Paradise, Calfornia.

July 11th. Last night Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix recorded three inches of rain; the strongest storm in nine years. Flights delayed. Heavy urban flooding in Phoenix. Flood advisories for Graham and Cochise Counties. Homes flooded in Queen Creek and mayor declares “one hundred year flood. (Editors note; What a joke. I don’t think the mayor of Queen Creek has really witnessed a one hundred year flood in Arizona. There aren’t just homes flooded, but entire freeway bridges washed away separating the Metro valley area. If it were a hundred year flood there would have been much more news about this than a Mayor probably crying out for Federal funding for some project.) One hundred and ten Federal helicopters help with the fires in California. Tornados reported in central Minnesota.

July 12th. The record high in Phoenix was 115 degrees in 2005. The record low was 69 degrees in 1944. Flash flood warning for Cochise County. There are three hundred and twenty active fires burning in California; the most in recorded history. International help arrives. Tornados spotted in Indiana and Oklahoma.

July 13th. Severe thunderstorm warning posted in Cochise County. U. S. Sixty in Tempe closed at Mill Avenue due to flooding. Flights delayed at Sky Harbor International airport. Severe flooding in Nogales; portions of border crossing closed. Nogales Mayor declares state of emergency.

July 14th. Three and a half inches of rain for the year at the official rain station, Sky Harbor. The record high in Phoenix was 116 degrees in 2003. The record low was 68 degrees in 1962. Two bodies recovered from Nogales wash due to flooding yesterday.

July 15th. No one hundred and ten degree days in Phoenix since July second. Flash flood waters threaten Nogales and major sewer line. Bear breaks into Colorado electronics store. Bee blamed for crop duster pilot to crash in Wisconson.

July 16th. Wild fire in southern Washington is at nine thousand acres, worst in fifteen years. Bee colony losses continue to happen in the United States. Lack of pollination threatens food crops. Tasmanian Devils are breeding earlier because of an epidemic of cancer.

July 17th. One hundred and ten degrees in Phoenix today. The record was 116 degrees in 2005. The record low was 65 degrees in 1908.

July 18th. One hundred and eleven degrees in Phoenix today. Typhoon in Taiwan. Wolves in northern Rockies placed back on endangered species list.

July 19th. The record high in Phoenix was 116 degrees in 1989. The record low was 68 degrees in 1913.

July 20th; campfire restrictions lifted in all of Arizona’s National forests due to rain and high humidity. Hundreds of baby penguins wash up dead on Brazil’s beaches.

July 21st; a micro burst hits Mesa with sixty mph winds, toppling power poles and dumping one inch of rain. Flooding reported in portions of Queen Creek. Two inches of rain per hour falling near Globe, Arizona. Parts of Mexico and Texas post hurricane watches as tropical storm Dolly gains momentum.

July 22nd; search for Tucson man swept away in wash called off. Dolly upgraded to hurricane. Twenty inches of rain is expected in parts of Texas and Mexico. There are fears the Rio Grande River levees won’t hold. Bear attacks woman hiking near Bakersfield, Ca. The woman was seriously injured and one of her two dogs was killed.

July 23rd; one hundred mph winds as Dolly is upgraded to a category one hurricane. Scientists say Mid West flooding is resulted in a “dead zone” in the Gulf of Mexico.

July 24th; Verde River lakes at ninety five percent capacity. This time last year they were at fifty six percent. We are on track for the second wettest monsoon season in nine years. Alaskan bear attacks twenty one year old worker near lodge. Two golfers struck by lightning near Flagstaff when they tried to seek shelter from storm by standing under a tree. Both are expected to survive.

July 25th. Flash flood watch posted for all of south east Arizona for the entire weekend. One inch of rain in Globe with three quarter inch hail. Rare tornado in central New Hampshire.

July 26th. Wildfire threatens dozens of homes near Yosemite Valley in Ca. Twenty eight thousand acres consumed and one fire fighter dies. Dozens of sea turtles found dead on Mexico beaches.

July 27th. Northern California fire out of control and burns eight homes.


There is a sad summary to this report. The Golden State is burning up. They could use some drenching rain that has blessed Arizona and New Mexico this month. But I guess it is just Nature’s way.

The quote of the month from the Mighty Broaduck comes in two parts and is quite a paradox. I think the second quote is a plea of redemption from Mrs. Broaduck. “When you have been hanging around the pond with the same piece of duck tail long enough you learn that shopping is a no win situation. Case in point; flowers look pretty but only last for a week. Chocolate tastes good but a big duck butt lasts forever. Clothes that are fashionable now go out of style next season.” Thankfully tequila makes everyone happy (at least for the moment).”
“Cherish your loved ones, both near and far. The future is uncertain.

The song of the month is “Nature’s Way” by Spirit. Thank you for reading this splendid edition of Blue Duck Weather News! Remember, as always, Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.

Your brilliant Editor in Chief,
MR Blueduck

PS....Sorry for the delay in this months Blue Duck News. Our internet provider decided to leave us high and dry with crappy service! We are switching over shortly and hoping that in the future, all the duck droppings will be on time.

For those who are too excited to sleep with anticipation of the Blue Duck Tshirts, they are on the way! Expect yours shortly if you are a loyal reader.

June 2008 Blue Duck Weather News

June 2008 Weather News!

To celebrate the joys of summer, beginning with this weather report, we have included a totally depressing new feature; only here will you find the number of days the temperature met or exceeded one hundred and ten degrees! Ah, but your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather are always looking for new ideas and bold ways to present you the mind boggling weather events of our State, the United States and the world at large. Not only will we track the number of excessively hot days, we will include daytime averages which exceeded one hundred degrees! Yes that’s right; only here at Blue Duck Weather. As the days cool to a mild one hundred degrees we will also point out the number of days each month has. Hopefully this utterly depressing report will end by November.

We enjoyed a mild Spring with measurable rain in May. It did not start to get really hot until the second week in June. Our collective balls were scorched as black as your outdoor bbq charcoal with a jet blast of searing heat. You poor Bastards in the Phoenix Metro. area had fifteen consecutive days of one hundred and ten degrees or more. The Beloved Land had nine days, nonconsecutive. However, on June 23rd the average temperature at The Land for the day was one hundred and one degrees. The average number of days of one hundred and ten degrees for the entire summer are ten days. The record was thirty two days set last year.

The “new “ monsoon season began on June 15th and will end on September 30th. That’s right my fine readers, no lawsuits can be filed now by some “unknowing” motorist swept down a flooded wash. No longer can he/she rant and rave how she wasn’t warned and it is all the fault of the National Weather Service by God! Your humble staff at Blue Duck Weather will still use the tried and true thinker’s way of the beginning monsoon. We remain true to scientific reliability and not the winds of the current “Here you go, one size fits all, don’t sue my ass if a telephone pole falls on your car.”

The first day of summer brought a sight never witnessed by your fine Editor in Chief. I was squatted by my desk, window blinds open
, doing homework and research. I glanced out the window and saw a “dog” sitting in the shade of a huge mesquite tree not forty yards from my window. It did not look like one of my squatty, lazy ass dogs. The beast was long and with very pointy ears. Immediately I determined it was a coyote, hot enough and brave enough to get this close to the nest to cool off. I armed myself with a camera. Needless to say, he bolted, but I got a shot anyway.

The Big weather story of the month was and is the massive flooding in the Mid West. To be honest with you your faithful Editor in Chief could have worked on this story day and night. The reports coming in were nonstop. I have done my best to chronicle day to day events as they occurred. Some are calling the aftermath of the heavy rains the Katrina of the Mid West. Some four million acres, much of which was fertile farm land, were flooded. Cedar Rapids, Iowa was called the city that could not flood, pointing back more than a hundred years of surviving massive rain. The town was all but under water. As of this writing “The Big Muddy” is still moving its massive muddy overload south to the ocean. Saint Louis, Missouri was only spared due to levee breaches upstream.
With enough quacking about the general state of the weather let’s get right to the amazing weather facts for the month of June;

The average temperature the first of June on the Land was 84.50 degrees. The average last day of the month temperature was 92.50 degrees.

The beginning and end temperatures at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 64 degrees and 67.50 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was 20.95 percent and the dew point was 40.83 degrees. No Sir, there is no sign of the monsoon season yet, contrary to popular media.

The average wind speed was 6.85mph. Note, this is the third windy month for the state, a result of the fronts moving to the north and east later causing havoc in the Mid West. These windy months are drying out the West to more than tinder conditions. The fires are already on a deadly increase, especially in California.

There was no rain for the month at The Land. However, on June 25th, RyDuck reported measurable rain in Gilbert. His ducklings were quacking and waddling joyously in the mud. The total rainfall for the year at The Land stands at 3.50 inches.

The big mud puddle totals are listed below. Please note on very good side that Powell is finally coming up. It is due to the heavy snow pack in the northern states this past winter; Lake Mead is at 44%, Powell is at 57%, Roosevelt holds its own at 96% and Pleasant 86%.

6-2. Fourth day of ozone pollution advisory in Phoenix; most consecutive days in three years. “Non indigenous “ (what a joke) ozone carried from Los Angeles due to jetstream.

6-3. Endangered Ca. Condors being found with lead poisoning. Lightning sparks fire in storage tank in Kanas City, Missouri. A month after cyclone one million in Myanmar not getting basic aid.

6-4. Tornado in N.E. Colorado. Heavy rain in Virginia, D.C., and Maryland. Thirty thousand without power and two killed.

6-5. 88 degree high in Phoenix! Twenty one tornados reported from Central Texas to Minnesota. Twenty two thousand acre wildfire burning in North Carolina, sparked by lightning. Evacuations taking place. One half billion pounds of fish caught daily from world oceans. The coveted tuna can bring one hundred thousand dollars.

6-6. One hundred degrees predicted for East Coast this weekend. Tornado touches down in Minnesota. Fifteen tornados spotted in the Mid West.

6-7. Red flag warning due to high winds in northern Arizona. Ten inches of rain in Indiana. Forty one counties declared disaster areas. Indianapolis has forty thousand residents without power. Lack of shelter latest concern for Myanmar cyclone victims.

6-8. MR Blueduck rescues Daddyduck by throwing a snake out of his house with gloved hands. (It was too dangerous to shoot in the house.) Lightning strike injures five at a park in Connecticut. Severe heat alert in New England; 12-25 degrees warmer than normal. Tornado in Nebraska. Herd of cattle trapped in Indiana floods. According to the International Red Cross tens of thousands of bodies from the Myanmar cyclone will never be identified.

6-9. Rivers in the South and Wisconsin have jumped their banks, states of emergencies in one hundred separate counties; ten dead. One third of Indiana flooded with ten thousand evacuated. Iowa River crests at record height. New heat records from South Carolina to New York. More UN helicopters delivering aid to Myanmar Delta that was cut off by typhoon.

6-10. One thousand acre brush fire near Sacramento, Ca. Injures firefighter and nine homes destroyed. Dam threatened by flood waters south of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. One hundred and fifty six miles of the Mississippi River closed to barge traffic due to flooding from Iowa to Missouri. Levee breaks in Illinois. Scientists discover monkeys in Indonesia that know how to fish. Caribean Monk seal becomes extinct. King snake found wrapped around infant leg in New York.

6-11. More rain in Iowa. Evacuations take place in Cedar Rapids. Tornado strikes Boy Scout camp in Iowa, killing five. Five separate fires in Ca. Fourteen hundred people evacuated in Santa Cruz, New Mexico fire. Deaths from East Coast heat wave reach seventeen. Two climbers rescued off Mount Rainer, third dies. Red flag warning in Northern Arizona, mid twenties for the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Ten thousand pregnant women in urgent need of care after Myanmar typhoon.

6-12. Two major fires burn eight thousand acres and threaten homes in Northern California. Thirteen tornados spotted near Wichita, Kansas. High in Casper, Wyoming 56 degrees. High pollution advisory issued for Phoenix area.

6-13. Cedar Rapids hospital closes due to flooding, Police department relocates. Electric throughout city shut off. Railroad bridge collapses and homes completely submerged. Humboldt fire north of Sacramento, California ten percent contained at twenty thousand acres.

6-14. University of Iowa power plant shut down due to flooding. Des Moines River still hasn’t crested. Ozone pollution advisory in Phoenix.

6-15. NEW FIRST DAY OF MONSOON ACCORDING TO THE NEW STANDARDS AS SET FORTH BY THE NATIONAL WEAHTER SERVICE AND A BEAURACRAT NEAR YOU.
6-16. Missouri communities getting ready for flooding by the flood waters from the Big Muddy downstream of Iowa. Fifty seven killed in Southern China floods; one million expected to flee. White rhinos on brink of extinctions. The record in the Valley of the Sun was 115 degrees in 1974. The record low was 54 degrees in 1907.

6-17. Twenty nine county disasters declared in Iowa. So far forty thousand people have been displaced by Midwest flooding. Levee breached in Gulf Port, Illinois. Flood waters are toxic with diesel, pesticides and raw sewage. One million tons of barge traffic blocked daily, corn and grain not moving. St. Louis worries about record flooding. Flood of 2008 will go down as worst ever. Scores of Panda bears survive China earthquake as Panda Reserve was near the center of the quake. There are only sixteen hundred Pandas left in the world. Study finds that chimps console one another with kisses and hugs. Early signs of monsoon moisture in Gulf of Mexico.

6-18. Twenty two levees in Iowa, Missouri and Illinois breached. President Bush asks for 1.8 billion dollars as disaster relief. “The Big Muddy is foul and fierce.” Iowa pigs who swam through flood waters are shot to protect levee. Sixth anniversary of Rodeo-Chediski fire; four hundred and sixty thousand acres burned puts it as the largest fire in Arizona history. Eighty eight degree record high low in Phoenix. New Mexico beginning to get thunderstorms. Bear wanders into Indiana McDonalds.

6-19. Thirty more levees threatened and sixty thousand acres flooded in Missouri; two billion dollars in crops lost. 120 degrees in Death Valley, California. 117 degrees in Parker, Arizona.

6-20. First day of summer; seven days in a row of 110 degrees or warmer in Phoenix. Five hundred acre fire burning near Oakland, Ca. Highway 1 closed, six homes burned and two thousand people evacuated. Five foot long alligator found in Chicago River, probably a discarded “pet”.

6-21. 115 degree record set in Phoenix today.

6-22. Lightning has sparked five hundred fires in Northern California. Six hundred acres burning in the Catalina Mountains near Tucson. Mississippi River continues to rise but worst may be over. Seventy thousand acres in Lincoln, Missouri under water. Cleanup continues in Rapids City, Iowa. One hundred and thirty seven people killed in Phillipine typhoon, seven hundred and forty missing as ferry capsizes.

6-23. Tenth day of one hundred and ten degrees or above in Phoenix. Two fires burning near Tucson. City of Phoenix considering requiring seventy five percent of all sidewalks to be shaded. (Editor’s note; this is a fine, dandy idea. If they wouldn’t have cut down the trees to place the sidewalks they wouldn’t have to worry about it. What a novel idea!) Canadians want to allow Polar Bear sport hunting.

6-24. Central Californians evacuated from fires. The Big Muddy has yet to crest in Mississippi. Head NASA scientist warns Congressional committee of more oil drilling and use. He also says to dump coal power. We are at the verge of not recovering the world’s climate due to fossil fuel emissions.

6-25. Lightning sparked fire burning in Avondale, Arizona, threatening homes and evacuations on the Gila Indian reservation. Rincon fire near Tucson up to thirty five hundred acres. Fifteen hundred acres burning in Apache Sitgraves Forest. Dust storm warning in Phoenix. White Tank fire south of Tucson at seven thousand acres. Five hundred homes in Big Sur, California threatened by fire. Seven inches of rain in Missouri in four hours. The record high in Phoenix was one hundred and twenty degrees in 1990.

6-26. All time record high in Phoenix 122 degrees in 1990. Flights cancelled due to extreme heat. Ethan fire in Avondale up to twenty four hundred acres. Severe thunderstorm warning issued for Tucson.

6-27. Ethan fire down to twelve hundred acres. Fire near Big Sur has grown to fifty thousand acres. One thousand fires burning in California. Burrowing muskrats cause levee to break in Missouri, three thousand acres flooded.

6-28. President Bush declares a State of Emergency in California. Two hundred and fifty thousand acres have burned in Northern California. Drought in California worst in a hundred years. Ethan fire in Avondale blows up to fifty four hundred acres after firefighters thought they had the upper hand. Levee breaks in Winfield, Missouri; hundreds of homes in four feet of water. Parts of Omaha Nebraska may be without power for a week after storm blows through. North Pole could be ice free this summer, the first time in recorded history.

6-29. Crown King fire in Arizona breaks out, forcing evacuations of the tiny town in the Bradshaw Mountains. It is up to four hundred acres and thought to be caused by lost hikers starting a signal fire. Ethan fire sixty five percent contained. Severe thunderstorm warnings in Safford, Arizona with sixty five mph winds. Alaskan bicycle rider attacked by Grizzly sow while she was on a twenty four hour competitive ride near Choogach National Forest.

6-30. Lane 2 fire near Crown King up to four thousand acres. Several homes burned and power shut off to town. Fifteenth straight day of one hundred and ten degrees or higher in Phoenix. Five year old killed when strong winds blow over air-show tents in Huntsville, Alabama.

As your fine Editor in Chief compiled this month’s weather news it occurred to him that the fires in California was every bit as devastating as the flooding in the Midwest, even more so. Land can recover quickly from flooding if it is not turned into a infertile dump site by chemicals. The economic loss of crops is devastating but the perspective here is purely for the land’s sake. Fire damage takes years and years to repair. It is a mute point however because both are the forces of nature by what we have little or no control over.

You saw brief accounts of last month’s Myanmar tragedy still trickling through the news report. Understandably the tragedies in the United States took front center. No matter how you view it the forces of Nature here or around the world are uncontrollable. Our only hope is the damage and loss is minimal.

The Mighty Broaduck has two sensitive, intelligent and thought provoking quotes to add to your reading pleasure this month. “There are moments in life that are special because of what they are and who they are shared with; however these same moments can be just as special alone and experienced with one’s own mind.” Here is the other deep quote; “The most important purchase a married duck can make is a big comfortable couch, because inevitably, you will be sleeping on it over the course of your marriage. So just because you’re in the doghouse with the misses doesn’t mean you have to be uncomfortable.”

The song of the month is “Dire Wolf” by the Grateful Dead. Find it because it is pertinent.

Thank you for making this weather journal the success it isn’t. Hurry and place your order for a BlueDuck Weather News T-shirt. They are free while supplies don’t exist.

Remember, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.
MR BlueDuck

Edtor in Chief

MAY Blue Duck Weather News

May Weather News, 2008!


You know, I have had a great deal of fun presenting you the weather news each month. I hope I have made some of you laugh and I hope some of the weather geeks out there have appreciated the updates and incredible phenomena of weather. However, I feel it is only right to take pause and recognize a terrible weather event which happened earlier this month; The Myanmar cyclone. If there was a world flag it should be flying at half mast.

The International Red Cross estimates up to one hundred and twenty eight thousand people have died or will perish from the aftermath of the cyclone; the immediate hit of the massive storm which wiped out entire communities without a trace, now famine and disease from contaminated water.

Not too long after an earthquake in China has claimed sixty thousand lives. Since this is a weather journal it is worthy to take note of the China disaster relating to the total loss of lives in a single month due to natural events. Although an earthquake is not weather related it is one of the most massive and destructive natural events known to humankind

I feel the loss a half a planet away. My connection is weather and the natural order on the planet we reside on. But sometimes the order seems so unnatural. How can upwards of two hundred thousand people die in a matter of weeks and assuredly the upcoming months? Where was God? I am sure many of these poor souls prayed for their salvation. But they experienced an Armageddon as terrifying and final as the one promised in the Scriptures.

So I came to a conclusion I have long suspected. By writing this weather journal and witnessing third hand catastrophic events the connection is clear to me. God does not fit into our neat packaging of religion and expectations. God is everything from the ant to the sun and all things in between. All we have to do is look around us at the NATURAL ORDER and all of it’s relationships between all living and nonliving things. The dilemma with humans is when the natural order represents chaos and suffering. It just doesn't matter in the universal scheme.

If I piss into an ant hole or sprinkle pesticide into it I am an eco-terrorist and a murderer. When I save a drowning bee from a swimming pool (an ocean to that tiny creature) I am a God. I am neither. I am part of a natural order as I perceive it and as I fit in. It was bad luck for the ant hole and good luck (a prayer answered) for the bee. I was simply in the right place at the right or wrong time. There is a germ of God in all of us, as the same with all living and nonliving things on this planet. So when a prayer is answered by God it is answered by us. The conduit is a whole lot of hope, determination and the most important woman of all, Lady Luck. God is busy preserving the NATURAL ORDER of the universe. His hands are full.

Your faithful Editor in Chief will now waddle down from his soapbox with muddy webbed feet to give you all of the amazing weather facts for the month of May. The third week of May was like nothing I have ever seen in the beloved State of Arizona. Our first one hundred degree day of the season was one hundred and five degrees, the second day was one hundred and ten degrees. We usually get three or four weeks to ease into hell from one hundred to one hundred and ten. By the end of the week there was snow in the high country, the high was lower than the low on The Land and we received 1.74 inches of rain!

May is the second driest month of the year normally. Fire restrictions placed that week were already lifted by snow and rain. I chuckled as the Memorial Day weekend was upon us. Bikinis and ice chests were replaced by Under Armor and hot coffee, hot tea and hot toddies! With that said let’s get right to the mind boggling weather events of May in this State and around the world!

The average temperature on The Land at the beginning of the month was 69.50 degrees. The average temperature at the end of the month was 83.50 degrees. For Talking Trees and Antelope Hill it was 39 degrees and 62.50 degrees.

The average temperature for the month of May for The Land was 77 degrees. The average temperature at 7400 feet in Mew Mexico was 52.53 degrees.

The average humidity at The Land was 25.87 percent and the dew point was 31.56 degrees (comparatively very close to each other.)

It was another windy month with an average wind velocity of 14.93 mph. There were actually two wind chill recordings in the month of May!

The total rainfall for the year at The Land is 3.50 inches. 1.74 inches fell in May, an extreme rarity.

Lake Mead is at 45 percent capacity. Powell is 48 percent full. Lake Pleasant is at 88 percent and Roosevelt 97 percent.

5-1. Three “campers” from Texas arrested for starting the X fire near the Grand Canyon. The fire has burned two thousand acres and is sixty percent contained. The record in Phoenix was 103 degrees in 1985 and the low was 42 degrees in 1915.

5-2. Twenty five twisters tear through Arkansas killing seven, Kansas City, Missouri also hit. A roof was torn off of a Carl’s Jr. restaurant; employee jokes about it becoming an open air eating establishment. Baby birds babble away like human babies before they master the their song according to scientist. The record high in the Valley was 107 degrees in 1947 and the record low was 40 degrees in 198

5-3. From Missouri to Arkansas worst tornado season in recent memory. Some wind gusts recorded at one hundred and fifty mph. There have been seven hundred and eight tornadoes so far this year, two hundred more than ’07. Twenty six people have died this year in Arkansas, Dusk to dawn curfew in some cities to prevent looting.

New Mexico wildfire has burned sixty homes.

Major Arctic sea ice melt expected this summer.

5-5. Early reports from Myanmar (once Burma) kills four thousand, tens of thousands homeless. Laura Bush pleads to give UN aid. Ten tornadoes confirmed in Arkansas over the past weekend, seven killed. Fire restriction in place on the Navajo reservation. Federal officials brace for wildfire season in Yuma. “Voz” (volcanic ash and smog) kills plants.

You read it here first! Fifty four cases of rabies reported in Arizona this year. It may set a new record. Protected Sea lion found shot to death below the Columbia dam where they feed on salmon. Scientists in Idaho hope beak prothesis will replace eagle’s gunshot one.

5-6. Twenty two thousand feared dead and forty thousand missing in Myanmar; millions are homeless. UNICEF requests permission to help. Tonto National Forest restrictions go into effect this week. Spring time at the land with two quail escorting twenty six chicks.

Snow at the Snow bowl and lightening strikes reported in Casa Grande. Crews build dam larger than Manhattan to force water to the parched Everglades.

5-7. Twenty two acres burn in Kaibab from thunderstorms yesterday. Cyclone devastated Myanmar rice crops.

Sea lion deaths in the North West remain a mystery; not killed by guns as previously reported.

5-8. A million and a half people are homeless in Myanmar. Malaria and chronic diarrhea happening to the inflicted. UN and US transport planes with food and medicine waiting in Thailand for clearance from Myanmar government. So far only one plane allowed into the country.

Tornadoes in Mississippi and Alabama. Twenty four twisters reported in the Central Plains. Honey bee deaths up due to mysterious colony collapses.

5-9. Secret Service saves family of ducks from waddling to close to the west wing of the White House. The ducks were lost due to heavy rain. Swat teams escort them back to grassy area.

Man who lost two homes in hurricane Katrina claims ninety seven million dollar power ball.

Heavy rain in already devastated Myanmar.

Arizona state land fire restrictions go into place next week. Oldest gorilla in captivity celebrates 55th birthday (with a smoke and a beer!)

5-10. Twenty two tornadoes spotted in Texas and Arkansas. The record high in the Valley was 111 degrees in 1934 and the record low was 46 degrees in 1930.

5-11. President Bush speaks to homeless from tornadoes in the Midwest. Twenty three die as twisters hit Missouri, Georgia and Oklahoma. Myanmar death toll up to sixty thousand people.

5-12. F4 storm hits Oklahoma, worst in ten years. Two hundred mph winds reported. Twenty acre wildfire burning in northern Arizona. Solano fire is burning south of Kitt Peak in Tucson. Hundreds of residents evacuated as wildfires burn. FEMA and the EPA visit storm ravaged Oklahoma. Mid Atlantic storm floods homes and highways. More than a third of twister related deaths occur in cars; people think they are safe in a vehicle.

5-13. Today is the first average one hundred degrees in Phoenix; so far none this year. Four inches of snow in Flagstaff.

Panda preserve in China safe the day after major earthquake.

One hundred and sixty homes burn in Florida. Arson is the cause and one man is arrested.

5-14. Polar bear population has increased from twenty five hundred in the nineteen seventies to 25000 today. However the bear is placed on the endangered species list due to shrinking sea ice.

Invading ants in Houston shorting out electrical equipment and computers.

The Red Cross estimated one hundred and twenty eight thousand dead in Myanmar. Heavy rains hit the Myanmar Delta.

5-15. Major dust storm at The Land and the year’s first Ha boob reported with fifty mph wind gusts reported.

Storms flooding the South and kills one in Louisiana. EL Nino wind patterns may have helped Magellan cross the ocean five hundred years ago. The high today in San Francisco was ninety three degrees. The normal high is sixty seven.

5-16. Brush fire in Chino Hills, Ca. Pacific North West twenty to thirty degrees above normal. One hundred degree temperature reported in Oregon and makes a new record for this date.

5-17. Three separate coyote attacks on children reported on California playgrounds.

Flagstaff calls off July 4th firework display due to dry conditions.

5-18. Official death count in Myanmar seventy eight thousand folks; thousand are facing death from starvation. One hundred and five degrees reported in Phoenix. The last one hundred degree day was eight months ago. Yuma had a record high of one hundred and thirteen degrees.

5-19. New Valley temperature record of one hundred and ten degrees. This is the first time in recorded history that back-to-back days of the first one hundred hit one hundred and five degrees and one hundred and ten degrees. High ozone pollution advisory issued for Phoenix.

Eighty eight separate fires burning in Florida.

Jump in hurricanes not due to global warming study proclaims.

Mountain lion seriously injures boy on New Mexico trail.

5-20. One hundred and eight degree Phoenix record today. High ozone pollution advisory issued.

5-21. Wind topples wall under construction at Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ.

Alaska is suing the Federal Government for placing the Polar bear on the endangered list.

5-22. Fifty degrees cooler than three days ago at The Land. The high was fifty nine degrees! Lightning and rain and the Apace Sitgraves Forest lifts fire restrictions. Snow advisory issued for Flagstaff. A high wind advisory is posted for SE Arizona.

Mount Graham fire at three thousand acres and the Swift Trail is closed. Summer cabins and Columbine is closed. Fire caused by “controlled burn” out of control.

Two and a half inches of snow reported in Pinetop. Six to twelve inches of snow expected at elevations above eight thousand feet. Wildfire in Santa Cruz, California. Tornado kills one in Windsor, Colorado.

5-23. Yesterday’s tornado in Colorado listed as a Category 4 and two miles wide. Sixty homes destroyed with a thirty five mile path of destruction.

Arizona snow records for May; Flagstaff, four inches; Sunrise, twelve inches and Pinetop seven inches. Snow advisory issued in Arizona above six thousand feet.

Rain snuffs out Mount Graham Fire!!!!

5-24. Tornado touches ground near Hemess, Oklahoma. State of Emergency declared in Santa Cruz, California fire; thirty four hundred acres torched.

A shark wounds a surfer in the Pacific Ocean.

5-25. Severe weather from Canada to Texas. More twisters batter the Mid West. Pig farm destroyed but forty five hundred pigs survive! One hundred and twenty tornadoes reported in last seventy two hours. Eighteen hundred tornadoes are estimated before the season is over.

5-26. Deadly twister in Parkersburgh, Iowa; Kansas and Oklahoma are also hit with seven people dead. Santa Cruz fire in California has consumed one hundred homes.

5-27. Tornado in Iowa yesterday reported the strongest one in thirty two years.

5-28. Tornado watch in north east New Mexico. The record high in Phoenix was one hundred and thirteen degrees in 1984. The record low was fifty degrees in 1929.

5-29. Severe weather in Central Plains with two dozen tornadoes reported.

5-30. Ten more tornadoes in Illinois and Missouri.

High Ozone pollution advisory issued for Phoenix.

5-31. A ten foot, four hundred and fifty pound shark jumps into a fishing boat in South Africa. Fortunately it jumped out, becoming the one “that got away.”

The record high in Phoenix was one hundred and nine degrees in 2001. The record low was fifty four degrees in 1918.

The quote of the month from the Mighty Broaduck is a timely one indeed. “A super hero to me is someone that inspires you and motivates you to be a better person and strive to achieve more out of life ; not a man in tights. You may find more than one in life that all lead to who you are.”

Yes, my fine feathered friends, we need more super heroes in this time of a wall of water, the ground cracking and shaking, and the wild devil winds in America. I have been thinking about the world flag at half mast and what color it should be; blood red.

The songs of the month go out to all impacted by the weather; a traditional bluegrass gospel song, “One fine morning when this life is over I’ll fly Away” and “Texas Flood” By Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Remember, Pioneers took bullets; Settlers took land.

MR Blueduck

Editor and Chief

Blue Duck Weather APRIL 2008

Your fine Editor in Chief had no intention to play upon the worn out words of "April Fool's Day", no sir. Not until I received the contribution for this month's weather journal from the Mighty Broaduck himself. If his fine feathered mate reads his "deep and profound" message I doubt if Broaduck will ever get a peck (or a poke) again. He is indeed, the biggest April Fool I have ever met.

April was dry and windy; so dry the desert set a record for low humidity and dew points. Some days were in the single digits. Sadly with these conditions comes the fire season. There were several reports in April of fires in the West, including this beloved state of Arizona. As cold fronts pass to the north of thist state, eventually wreaking havoc in the Midwest and South we are left with windy, dry weather. Fortunately this keeps temperatures down. The Land did not experience the first ninety degree temperature of the season until April 13th. As of this writing there have been no one hundred degree days.

The beginning of the month saw an average temperature on The Land of 69.88 degrees. The end of the month reading was 80.50 degrees. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill recorded 48 degrees and 53 degrees at the end of the month.

The average humidity at The Land was 17.75 percent. The dewpoint was 18.59 degrees. Dry as a proverbial bone in the sun baked desert.

The average wind speed was 6.92 mph. There were five recorded wind chills in the month of April.

Again, for another month there was no rainfall at all in the desert. The last rain at The Land was on February 17th. The total for the year stands at just 1.36 inches.

4-1. Funnel clouds in Texas cause serious damage. Snow in Wisconsin and Minnesota. Thirty mph winds in northern Arizona.

4-2. Changing climate among NATO's latest security concerns. Forty mph winds in Showlow.

4-3. Six inches of rain in Kentucky. Twisters in Arkansas and Missouri. Thousands without power. Rain for two days in Mephis. Rain as far north as New England. Skunk found infected with rabies in Pinal County, 6th this year. Active fire season predicted for Arizona this year, as bad as 2005. Local news weather temperature predictions daily have a five degree spread. This is due to rising temperatures in Phoenix vs. the open deserts.

4-5. Nevada flooding prompts experts to research canal stability in the West. Snow in Montana. Thousands of dead birds floating up on the banks of the Great Salt Lake. Four to seven inches of snow in Minnesota. Trout in the desert as fifteen hundred rainbow trout are released into the lower Salt River. With a water temperature of 54 degrees stocking will take place every two weeks until mid June.

4-6. First snake spotting at The Land by Beck Peck! Six foot bull snake guaranteed to scare all!

4-7. Two million tons of sand transported in last month's man made Grand Canyon flood below Glen Canyon dam. New beaches are created. Scientists removing Mohave Desert tortoises to make way for expanding military activity. The high was 81 degrees in Phoenix today. The record high was 104 degrees in 1989.

4-8. Red flag warning issued in Mohave County. Air particulate advisory issued today and tomorrow for metro Phoenix area. Wind gusts up to thirty five mph. The record high was 104 degrees in 1989. The record low was 39 degrees in 1929. No measurable rain in 44 days. Fierce flooding in Peru. Damage to three hundred homes and two schools.

4-9. Winslow winds recorded at fifty four mph.

4-10.Flash flooding in Arkansas. Twelve twisters in the past week. Golf ball size hail. Record releases from dams on the White Rver to protect them from collapsing. Storms close two hundred roads in Missouri. Parts of Texas damaged by flooding. Blizzard warnings posted in Bismark, North Dakota with 45mph winds. The record high in Phoenix was 100 degrees in 1989. The record low was 35 degrees in 1922.

4-11. Up to two feet of snow in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Wildfires in Texas consume five thousand acres.

4-12. Record high in the Valley of the Sun was 99 degrees in 1936. The record low was 40 degrees in 1967.

4-13. 101 degrees in Yuma. First ninety degree day in Phoenix since last November. The record high was 99 degrees in '02. The record low was 39 degrees in 1927.

4-14. Severe flooding in portions of Washington state. "Cars swept away like paper." Flood debris twelve feet above some roadways. Red flag warning issued for entire state of Arizona. A red flag warning is defined as three consecutive hours of wind speeds over twenty mph with single digit humidity. 40-50 mph winds in portions of state. The record high on this date was 103 in 1925 and a 40 degree low in 1945.

4-15. Six die, one rescued in raging New Zealand rivers. Wild bear killed on Swiss Government orders after losing fear of humans. Three percent humidity with a dew point of one degree in most of Arizona. Red flag warning still in effect. Showlow winds peak at 50mph.

4-16. Three seperate wildfires in Colorado fueled by wind. One has grown to one thousand acres. Three killed. Twenty five degrees in Denver with snow. The high there yesterday was in the mid seventies. Man in Texas pulled over for an illegal u-turn. A six foot live alligator was found in the back seat. Man said he was taking 'gator to a friend's pond. Man arrested for insanity. Peak wind gusts in Phoenix 40mph. The record high was 104 degrees in 1984 and 40 degrees was the low in 1924.

4-17. Eleven degrees at the Grand Canyon. Twenty degrees cooler in Phoenix than three days ago. New Mexico Govenor threatens to fight Gila River diversion. Gila placed on endangered river list. Wildfire in West Texas burns four homes. Heavy flooding in Wisconsin. Temperatures in Asia raised world land temperatures ot record levels. Decision to be made in ten weeks if polar bears receive Federal protection. Barbary apes to be killed after harassing tourists. Same temperature today in Phoenix and Albany, New York. The record high in Phoenix was 100 degrees in 1987. The record low was 38 degrees in 1924.

4-18. Typhoon weakens as it hits the Coast of China. Much drier in Arizona deserts than twenty years ago. Desert fires were almost unheard of. Non native grasses are the cause. Red flag warning posted for Northern Arizona.

4-19. Wildfire in SE Arizona along Mexico border. Toddler in critical condition as high winds blow stroller in Lake Michigan. Ten inches of snow in western Washington. Asian Typhoon slams Hong Kong.

4-20. Alamo fire in SE Arizona reaches four thousand acres and burning on both sides of border. Human caused. Tornado in N. Carolina. Moose heards in NW Minnesota dwindle from four thousand in 1984 to one hundred in 2008. Scientists blame global warming. Locals believe it is a natural trend. 105 degrees was the record high in Phx. in 1989. The record low was 38 in 1933.

4-21. Alamo fire up to five thousand acres. Forty percent contained. "Trained'' Grizzly kills trainer in California. Scientists are studying haze from melting ice in North Alaska.Scientists say link between smog and premature deaths. ( You think? What a brilliant fucking conclusion.) TODAY IS EARTH DAY! HAYDUKE LIVES!

4-22. Snow advisory for Sierra Nevada and Cascades. Snow levels down to 4500 ft.

4-23. Second high pollution advisory issued for Phoenix this week. High winds and particulates (dust) to blame.

4-24. Balding penguin with wet suit gets back into the swim of things. ( I swear, I don't make this shit up.) Hazy skies in Anchorage from fires is Russia and sandstorms in Angolla. Study says humans may have faced near extinction from drought seventy thousand years ago. Officials say Oregon sea lions can be trapped but not killed.(?)

4-25. Fatal shark attack in San Diego. Man was swimming with group in triatholon. Eight miles of beaches closed. Speculation of a Great White. Brush fire in Florida burns eighty acres and people forced from their homes. Scientists say New Zealand glacier shrinking at alarming rate. DNA from dinasours links to modern day chickens.(That must include ducks!.) Winter storm warnings for Minnesota, S. Dakota and Michigan.

4-26. Eagle fire in Apache Sitgraves Forest is at 2500 acres and seventy five percent contained. Beehive fire near Mexico border. Fire watch for south and south east part of Arizona. Wind gusts up to thrity five mph. San Diego beaches still closed for shark hunt. "Vog" over Hawaii, a combination of volcanic ash and fog. (You read it first here at Blue Duck Weather News!) Up to fifteen inches of snow and heavy winds in Minnesota. The record high in Phoenix was 101 degrees in 1992 and the record low was 42 degrees in 1984.

4-27. Hundreds of residents flee from fire in the foothills East of Los Angeles. Record low humidity in Phoenix of 2% with a dewpoint of 7 degrees. The record high was 104 degrees in 1992. The record low was 40 degrees in 1975.

4-28. S.E. Az. fire conditions worst in twenty five years. Dry fuel conditions usually typical of June. Fire ban coming soon for Arizona County parks. Severe storms in Virginia kill one. Three tornados spotted in S.W. Virgina. Golf ball diver in Florida fights with alligator. Congo gorillas being killed off by poachers, war and logging. Record high in the desert was 104 degrees in 1992 and 45 degrees in 1898.

4-29. National Weather Service reports six seperate tornados touched down in Virginia yesterday. "Super Cells" left a twenty three mile path of destruction. No deaths were reported but Govenor reports "state of emergency." Fire watch issued for the Valley of the Sun. X fire burning N.W. of Flagstaff. Fifteen hundred acres consumed. State wide humidity in single digits. Record high 105 degrees in 1992. Record low 43 degrees in 1970. One thousand pound squid corpse found.

4-30. Wildfire near Grand Canyon sixty percent contained. Abandoned campfire blamed and three Texans arrested. St. John's River flooding in Maine, chasing residents from their homes. San Francisco tourist killed by Gray shark while surfing in Mexico. More grizzlies found in Anchorage than earlier thought.

As this amazing weather journal concludes I hope you have noticed an unannounced inclusion of valley record highs and lows. Your amazing staff at Blue Duck Weather will continue to include them on random days of the month. Our desire is to show you, as pointed out many times by your brilliant Editor in Chief, the record lows happened at a much earlier date in history than the record highs of the last twenty years. For whatever reason the low temperatures are creeping upward and actually have a more dramatic impact on ''average" temperatures than the high readings.

So, as promised or threatened, i will leave you with the Fool's quote of the month submitted by the Mighty Broaduck. "It's Spring time and love is in the air so here are a few things to help ducks get through another year. (He wrote people but I have free editing rights.) 1. Never tell your wife she kisses better than her sister. Although it is a compliment it is a gauranteed way to end up on the couch for the evening. 2. When your wife refers to her younger years neve chime in with "Oh, you mean when you were fun?" 3. And lastly, if you are ever asked if something makes her look heavy it is best to fake a seizure and fall to the floor." And you wonder why he is paid so poorly? At this rate he won't get a roll of toilet paper, let alone the fantastic t-shirts coming by the beautiful Mrs. Blueduck.

There are two songs for this month, both composed by a brilliant black duck by the name of James Marshall Hendrix; "The Wind Crys Mary" and "Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire."