September 2008 Weather News!
Atlantic hurricanes were the talk of the planet for the first two thirds of last month. It seems they lined up in a row like massive bombers waiting to thunder off of some cosmic runway dropping bombs of torrential rain, wind, death and destruction.
Here at home it seemed the monsoon season would never end. I thought it blew out its last stinky, juicy putrid fart on September 11th. We had massive winds, dust and a trace of rain. The humidity and dew points dropped after that day and then climbed right back up a week later. One weather “official” declared it over on the 23rd of last month. The new “official” end of the monsoon is September 30th. By then I noticed a pattern of easterly wind flow, more indicative to the end of the torture. They may have got it right this time.
On June 10th Mrs. Blueduck asked me my prediction for the upcoming summer monsoon. I told her, in all of my infinite wisdom with a cloud around my brain, that it would be a cooler summer than normal, a bad fire season, and three inches of rain for the monsoon. Of course I was right on all account. You only have to read the weather reports from July until now to see my duck given brilliance.
I also promised to torture you with the number of days over one hundred degrees for the month. It is safe to say we are out of the one hundred and ten degree days but September had enough days over one hundred. Phoenix had a total of twelve and The Land had six days. Let us get right to the weather facts of last month and the stimulating weather knowledge you will gain to impress all of your friends and family.
The average temperature at The Land was actually two degrees warmer at the end of September than the beginning, but the humidity was down twenty three percent and the dew point was down nineteen degrees. The average temperature for the month was 85.31 degrees.
The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill fell eight degrees from the beginning of the month to the end; the overall average temperature was 58.18 degrees. (At that elevation there is actually a promise of autumn coming.)
The average humidity at The Land was 37.36 percent and the average dew point was 52.33 degrees, just under the monsoon dew point for the entire month.
The average wind speed was 4.56 mph.
Lake Mead stands at 44% empty. Lake Powell is trying to make a recovery at 60%. Lake Pleasant is down to 49% (my guess is due to farming and irrigation.) Roosevelt stands at an impressive 90%. Yes, we have enough water to flush our toilets, hose down driveways, leave the drip irrigation on even when it is raining and keep our DUCK PONDS FULL for the winter.
9-1. Two men had to be airlifted from a Tucson wash as truck gets stuck in flashflood. Five of last seven days in Phoenix have been below one hundred degrees.
Hurricane Gustav makes landfall as a category two storm in Cocodrie, Louisiana. New Orleans avoids catastrophic damage so far but levees still vulnerable. One million without power with winds at 110mph. Oklahoma may receive twenty inches of rain as Gustav moves northwest. Hanna is upgraded to a hurricane and behind her is Ike.
9-2. New Orleans evacuees will not be able to return home until September 4th due to power outages and flooded streets. Southern Atlantic states put on alert as Hanna churns and gathers momentum. Hurricane Gustav moves over Central Plains reduced to a tropical storm.
9-3. In Phoenix 40th Street between Shea and Cactus still closed from the storms on August 28th. Hurricane Ike has turned into a category three storm. Hanna has killed twenty six people in Haiti. Nineteen square mile piece of ice breaks off in the Artic north of Canada.
9-4. Hurricanes Hanna, Ike and Josephine lining up. Hanna will smack the Carolinas by 9-6. Ike is the most powerful with 140mph winds. Its birth was off the African coast. One million still without power from Gustav in Louisiana. 92 degree record high in San Francisco, Ca.
9-5. Hurricane Hanna to hit the Carolinas and up the East Coast. Hanna may drop almost four inches of rain for drought stricken Eastern Seaboard. The death toll from Hanna in Haiti up to one hundred and thirty. Ten thousand are homeless. Hurricane Ike coming and may be a monster. Forty million Americans may be affected. There are twenty one more million people living along the Gulf Coast than in 1980.
Asian soot and smog may increase global warming in next fifty years.
Fifty five year old gorilla dies in Dallas zoo; the world’s oldest in captivity.
9-6. Hanna moves from New Jersey to New England and only 4mph short of being a category one hurricane. Ike is now a category four hurricane. Five hundred people in Haiti now dead from Hanna.
9-7. Hurricane Hanna leaves damage in Boston and Massachusetts. Ike heads to Florida Keys and evacuations ordered. Ike is now a category three storm with sustained winds of 120mph.
9-8. Louisiana declares state of emergency for approaching Ike. Hurricane watch for the Florida Keys has been cancelled.
Bee colonies continue to disappear and may be linked to pesticides. (Editors Note: your faithful staff at Blueduck Weather was the first to report on the mysterious decline of the bee population. Weather and climate caused or caused by the poisons of human kind it does not matter. If we lose our bee friends we lose our food.)
9-9. Golf ball size hail reported in West Phoenix. Texas ready to evacuate one million people for the arrival of Hurricane Ike. One and a half million Cubans flee Ike’s fury.
9-10. Severe weather alert for Maricopa County. Hurricane Gustav destroyed seven thousand homes in its path. Ike is out of Cuba and it looks like most of Texas Coast is in its path.
Four out of ten fresh water fish in the U.S. in peril.
9-11! Flood advisory for Pima County, Az. Severe thunderstorm warning for Maricopa County. 55mph winds recorded, Sky Harbor closed and twenty eight power poles down in Buckeye.
All eyes are on Hurricane Ike as it triples in size. Outflow winds from the center are being recorded at 74mph at a distance of two hundred and fifty miles. One million ordered to evacuate from Galveston.
9-12. Hurricane Ike is six hundred miles long and has 32 ft. storm surges. Galveston is ordered for immediate evacuation or FACE DEATH. (Editors note: I have never heard a warning issued this severe.) Two million people in Houston told to hunker down. In 1900 a hurricane killed seven thousand people in Galveston.
9-13. Health workers in Flagstaff, Az. find flee plague. (?) Humpback Chub, endangered in the Grand Canyon since 1967 taken off the list.
Major search and rescue in Galveston, Texas. Flood waters eight feet deep in areas. One thousand people rescued. A curfew is in effect to prevent looting. Millions without power and in Houston. President Bush declares major disaster.
Ike is moving north and joining cold front; may produce six inches of rain in Great Lakes area.
9-14. A week long curfew has been ordered for Houston. Rescuers have saved two thousand people who rode storm out in Galveston. Caskets pop out of ground in flooded cemetery. Hurricane Ike is the first to make a direct hit on a major city since Katrina. Bush to tour area on 9-16. As Ike moves it dumps six inches of rain in Chicago.
9-15. Federal Government to clean up mercury tainted Pena Lake in southern Arizona.
A note for blue ducks everywhere who love the blues: Bluesman Gatemouth Brown, who was chased by Hurricane Katrina, dies in Texas after Hurricane Ike.
Python “rescued” from highline wires in Sidney, Australia.
9-16. The monsoon just won’t get out of here or was it a gentle rain to honor a very special dog on The Land? He took one last stroll and a dip in the frog pond the afternoon before. The rain today helped pack the dirt on his grave.
As Ike closed in on Galveston earlier a cluster of residents stayed on the island with a lion. Rio Grande River in Texas expected to top levees and spill into bordering towns from Ike’s rains.
Pennsylvania woman mistakes skunk with neighbor’s cat and gets sprayed.
Melting Artic Sea ice second worst since 1979.
9-17. Death toll from Hurricane Ike stands at twenty one in the U.S. As Ike moves it leaves one million people without power in Ohio. Ike causes the biggest internet outage since 2003.
Payson, Arizona woman and newcomer mistakes Bull elk’s bugle as violent human screams and calls police. Hunt for poachers who killed elk near Williams, Az.
9-18. Forty nine oil platforms in Gulf Coast shut down by Hurricane Ike; some will be abandoned.
9-19. Millions still without power on the Gulf Coast and thousands of homes damaged. There are an estimated six billion dollars of damages. Waves from Ike reveals skeleton of a ship washed on a beach that may have been from the Civil War.
9-20. The record high in Phoenix on this date was 105 degrees in 2005. The record low as 47 degrees in 1965.
9-22. THE FIRST DAY OF FALL MY SHIT STAINED FEATHERED ASS! Today’s high was one hundred and one degrees. Mrs. Blueduck and BeckPeck have had a brutal summer. It is no wonder they haven’t left me to bake in the oven with an apple in my ass.
9-23. Algae bloom in Lake Eerie now visible from photos from space.
Solar wind lowest in fifty years. The lack of sunspots affecting speculations of global warming and planet may be in a cooling trend now.
Venomous army ants chase athletes of Ca. football field.
9-26. The fucking monsoon still isn’t dead; isolated thunderstorm in Queen Creek . The dew point is at 55 degrees.
Two weeks after the wrath of Ike some kids still not back in school.
9-27. Line of thunderstorms east of Phoenix; wind gusts up to 45mph. Hurricane Ike remnants leave five hundred million dollars of damage in Ohio. Hurricane Kyle forming in the Atlantic and Maine preparing.
Navajo Nation list Bald Eagle as endangered.
9-28. Long gas lines in Atlanta due to lack of fuel from Ike. Kyle brings heavy rain to Boston and Maryland.
Fourth and most powerful typhoon this year slams Taiwan with 140mph winds.
9-29. What a difference fifty miles apart, wind in Phoenix and no concrete at The Land; this morning’s low was 67 degrees compared to a Phoenix low of 83 degrees.
9-30. The new “official “ end of the monsoon season leaves Phoenix with 8.12 inches of rain. This is the tenth wettest of record keeping and the fourth wettest since 1984.
Total monsoon moisture was 5.70 inches. The normal is 2.50 inches.
Rain to date for this year at The Land is 6.61 inches.
Before we end this month’s exciting weather news I would like to make a not so humble announcement. I have been awarded a Professorship in the International Duck Forecaster Association. Many cast their votes (mainly me) and it was determined that because of the fine staff at Blueduck Weather and my brilliant weather documentation the prestigious award was presented to yours truly. Please take a moment to thank me for this accomplishment. (note from Mrs. Blueduck, there was exacatly ONE vote cast)
I know all of you have been eagerly anticipating this month’s heady contribution by The Mighty Broadduck. Without further delay here it is: “The greatest reward a man can achieve for a noble deed is a kiss from a woman; but in a pinch a peck from a duck will do. "
The weather song for the month is “South side of Heaven” by Ryan Bingham.
As always, remember Pioneers took bullets and Settlers took land. And don’t forget thieves and liars took titles(Like swamy duck knighting himself professor).
I am forever in your weather servitude.
Professor MR Blueduck.
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