November 2007 Blue Weather

Blue Duck Weather

December 2, 2007

Ah, the weather that made the Arizona desert famous and ultimately ruined it is finally here. Snow Gizzards from around the world are coming in droves to worship the sun and warmth, the clear skys and starry nights (provided you are not in Phoenix or Tucson.)

The fine staff at Blue Duck Weather News would like to honor the true Snow lizards who camp in a sea of shiny metallica in parks from > Apache Junction to Gila Bend. Like subterannean aliens one can hear the drone of generators from miles away. Truly water conservationists, a plant or tree will not be seen in any of these fine parks, simply acres of white painted landscape stone. And here is to all of the Uncle Eddies in the desert who "secretly" pumps his sewage into some unsuspecting wash declaring his manhood and eminant domain with a vile, > twisted smile.

The average temperature for November was 61.84 degrees. The > average humidity was 31.26 percent. The average dewpoint was 28 > degrees. The average wind speed was 1.30 mph. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 40.28 degrees. November 23rd saw a low of 19 degrees. The next morning was 12 degrees. Turkeys that escaped Thanksgiving were found frozen in their tracks.

The land received a much needed .88 inches of rain on November 30th. The last recorded rainfall prior to that was one hundredth of an > inch on September 16th. All of the plants needed a much needed bath, let alone soaking, as dust on the leaves turned to muddy water before it hit the ground.

Lake Mead is at 46 percent capacity. Lake Powell is at 48 percent and Roosevelt Lake is at 46 percent. Let's continue to hose down those > driveways and sidewalks. Over water those lawns until they turn into > bogs. Perhaps next month we can record even lower lake levels!>>>> 11-1. Tennessee towns have run out of water and it has to be trucked in. Carribean death toll jumps to one hundred from Hurricane > Noel. The August fire in Prescott grows to fifty acres, containment > line established. Threat of more Santa Anna winds in Southern > California.

11-2. August fire grows to sixty acres. Hundreds of thousands of > Mexicans flee from flooded gulf coast as a result of Hurricane Noel.

11-3. Noel batters New England coast. Seventy mile per hour winds > and coastal flooding. Worst flooding in Mexico in fifty years. A > million people forced from homes. The August fire in Prescott grows to > two hundred acres and thirty percent contained. Snow predicted for > Northern Maine. "Climate change is one of history's security > challenges." (?)>>>> 11-4. August fire two hundred and seventy five acres and thirty > five percent contained. Fog causes one hundred car pile up in Southern > California. Thirty thousand people without power in Cape Cod from Noel. > Lake effect snow predicted for Great Lakes region. We broke a record > with ninety five degrees in 2001.

11-5. Mexican flood victims scramble for food and supplies. Twenty thousand stranded. August Fire is at four hundred and twenty acres and > forty five percent contained. Ninety three degrees a new record in > Phoenix today. Two hundred days this year with temperatures above > normal. Eghty six degree record in Safford, Ninety one degree record in > Tucson. Severe drought in Georgia makes it the largest exporter of > pecans in the world. Pecans thrive in dry conditons due to lack of > moisture related disease. Fog causes thirty car pile up in Oregon. > Twenty eight reports of hail and heavy weather in the eastern seaboard.

11-6. Ninety four degree record in Phoenix. Massive mudslide in > Mexico, sixty missing, eight hundred thousand homeless. Heavy snows in > Pennsylvania, thirteen thousand without power. New Orleans at sixty > three percent capacity or pre Katrina Hurricane.

11-7. Snow predicted for New England. August Fire almost contained > at six hundred and fifty acres. High pollution advisory for Phoenix > tomorrow. Ninety two degree record in Phoenix, sixty seven degree > record high low. Ninety degree record in Tucson.

11-12. Georgia Govenor hosts press conference with Religious > Leaders to pray for rain. (God must have been busy.) Eight inches of > rain hits Japan with severe flooding.

11-13. New Orleans Aqarium denied Fema help. (?). Only one third > of carbon dioxide releases in U.S. is offset by cleanup efforts. Ten > year old boy admits starting thirty eight thousand acre fire in > California last month by playing with matches. Ninety degree high in > Gila Bend. Normal high is seventy six degrees.

11-14. Georgia farmers accuse Atlanta of stealing water.

11-15. "Super" Typhoon hits Bangladesh, India. Tens of thousands > evacuate. Fire ban begins in some State parks tomorrow in Arizona. > Tornado in South East Kentucky delivering badly needed rain.

11-16. Bangladesh death toll at eleven hundred. Cold air pooling > over Alaska and Canada. Moving into Mid West by Thanksgiving.

11-17. New hope for drought stricken South. Georgia cuts flow to > lake which is home to endangered wildlife. (fuck the endangered. We > have toilets that need flushing, damnit!.) One hundred thousand people > in emergency shelters in Bangladesh. Winds recorded at one hundred and > fifty miles per hour. UN offers one million dollars in aid.

11-18. Twenty three hundred people dead from Bangladesh Typhoon. > UN sending Naval ships full of supplies. San Diego bracing for more > fires. Snow flurries in New York City. Rain hits Gulf coast. Snow > predicted wor Pennsylvania, Washington, Idaho and Montanna. Snow levels > down to twenty five hundred feet.

11-19. Santa Anna winds expected in Southern California later this > week. One million homeless from Typhoon in Bangladesh. Two inches of > snow falls in the Eastern U.S. Seventy degrees in Sedona and eighty > degrees in Winslow set new highs for this date.

11-20. Yam production in Georgia and North Carolina down due to > prolonged drought. (How timely of a report! Jack those yam prices up > just in time for the holidays.)>>>> 11-21. Snow levels at seven thousand feet in Eastern Arizona. > Expected to drop to six thousand feet by Friday with one to three > inches of snow expected.

11-22. Balmy weather draws thousands to Thanksgiving parade in New > York. New Mexico wildfire south of Albuqureque. One two two inches of > snow predicted for White Mountains.

11-23. Snow advisory for Graham, Greenlee and Cochise Counties > above six thousand feet. Three inches expected. Fifty thousand people > evacuated due to Typhoon in the Phillipines. Two green house gasses > record highest levels in 2005. Christmas trees will shed faster due to > dry Fall. Tonight's temperature will be lowest in seven months. Red > flag warning and wind advisory tomorrow in NW and SW Arizona. Eight > degree low for South Rim of the Grand Canyon.

11-24. Fierce wildfire north of L.A. Thirty five home destroyed. > Thousands evacuated in Malibu. Seventeen hundred fire fighters brought > in. Twenty two hundred acres consumed with no containment. Snow in El > Rancho, New Mexico with three feet recorded in northern New Mexico. > Freeze warning for Graham, Cochise and Santa Cruz Counties.

11-25. Fifty homes destroyed in Malibu fire. Five thousand acres > consumed, forty percent contained. Tornado warning in Lousianna. Snow > in Michigan. Rain in Northern Calfornia. Sixteen degree low in > Flagstaff.

11-26. Fifty dead as Typhoon hits N.E. Phillipines. Today's high > in Phoenix six degrees below normal.

11-27. US unscathed by hurricanes in '07 despite predictions. > Emergency planners worry about complacency. Snow level predicted for > seven thousand feet this weekend.

11-30. Two hour flight delays from Phoenix to Las Vegas due to > weather. Three inches of rain recorded in Carefree area. Storms > strongest in Central Phoenix. Flood advisory until eleven a.m. > tomorrow. Flooding at Scottsdale and Thunderbird roads. Snow levels at > nine thousand feet, dropping to sixty five hundred feet tomorrow > producing two to four inches of snow.

Thank you my faithful readers for drooling in awe ove this latest > incredible edition of The Blueduck Weather News. Remember Pioneers took > bullets, Settlers took land.

The song of the month is a gentle song of whimsical Autumn longing > entitled "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin.

Editor in Chief

BlueDuck