April 2012 Blue Duck Weather News

April, 2012 Weather News! Welcome to another outstanding issue of Blue Duck Weather. In this edition you will find about April winds in Arizona and a very real possibility it will be a very dry and active fire season. Brush fires in New York City?, Daddy and fires, the warmest March on record in the U.S. and alarming news of four feet of hail out of one storm in Texas, drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds, what’s behind this very active and early tornado season, the heat and the Boston Marathon, little heard news anymore of the BP oil spill nearly two years later, a story just in time for Earth Day of a young Russian woman who places herself in front of bulldozers to save a forest, squatters setting a massive forest fire on purpose and much, much more! But first let me begin with my father’s weather predictions that actually tie into his beliefs. It may very well scare the shit out of you! When he was in the hospital this month for five days he told me many things, some I have heard a million times, but a few things I either don’t remember, want to remember or they were actually new stories from his resting mind. He had plenty of time to watch television in that joint and the weather. But his predictions did not come from that alone. You only need to be on The Land for forty years to know how dry it has been for at least the last ten years. Daddy told me that the true end of the planet would be caused by increasing heat, starvation, mass thirst and finally a fire that would consume this planet. He wasn’t talking out of his mind or delusional. This is what he believes and has always said his worst fear is dying by fire and being trapped. Let me tell you this wasn’t the most optimistic weather (or spiritual) forecast I have heard. Before we get to all the news that fit’s the weather world let us bring you up to date on some boring local statistics not worthy of even noting. The average temperature on The Land was 70.71 degrees for the month of April. The average at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill 51.79 degrees. It is worth noting that summer is on its fucking way. The average daily temperature at the end of the month was 14 degrees warmer than the beginning. Dangerously low rainfall is beginning to concern me and many others. To date the Land has had .35 inches for the year! Phoenix has had .33 inches. We received .03’’ in April, just enough to tease. The major lakes in the Southwest and Arizona are holding their own despite the low amount of rainfall and snow melt. Mead is at 55% capacity, Pleasant 92%, Powell, 64% and Roosevelt down to 66%. (I bet some of our ten year old camp spots are now dry and not under water.) 4-1- 47 mph winds in Flagstaff, 58 mph winds in Show Low and 33mph in Phoenix. A thirty five acre fire as erupted near Luna Lake, Arizona near the burned Wallow Fire area from last summer. It was 93 degrees at The Land yesterday, today with the wind chill it was 69 degrees, the same temperature as Talking Trees and Antelope Hill sitting at 7400 feet in New Mexico. A Red Flag Warning has been issued for southern Arizona tomorrow from eight a.m. to eleven p.m. From Colorado to Florida 50 cities experienced the warmest March on record with the majority of cities in the central U.S. and the South. New tornado warnings are meant to scare people and end the “cry wolf” syndrome that exists with current warnings that people ignore. In a test that begins tomorrow in Kansas and Missouri weather service offices will use words like “mass devastation, “unsurvivable” (which isn’t even an actual word) and “catastrophic.” Six hundred and seventy five fishermen have been rescued off a “runaway” floe in Russia. The search for a Colorado woman missing in last week’s wildfire has been suspended after rescuers found human remains in her burned home. The fire is 90% contained. 4-2- From his secluded location in Colorado Ry Duck reports that the high yesterday was 80 degrees, today with the wind chill it was 29 degrees. 4-3- At least two tornadoes struck the major Dallas, Fort Worth area. Video footage showed tractor trailers being hurled hundreds of feet into the air. Southbound Dallas flights cancelled and planes were inspected for hail damage. Thousands are stranded but fortunately there are no fatalities. 4-4- Forty mph winds forecasted tomorrow for Flagstaff and a Red Flag Warning has been issued. Record heat is to blame for this very active and early tornado season. There were 223 tornadoes in March, up from an average of 80 from 1991-2010. There were 13 confirmed tornadoes yesterday in the Dallas area with 6.3 million people in shelters. In one incident a grandmother held her 18 month old baby by his feet as the wind tried to take him away. They were huddled in a bathtub as the tornado destroyed their home. 4-6- In Arizona, the Higley Unified School District places Cortino Elementary in a “modified” lockdown after a mountain lion was spotted in a wash near the school. A storm in Buenos Airies, Argentina has blown down roofs and trees killing 13 and injuring 20. The 164 foot long “ghost ship” adrift for more than a year after Japan’s tsunami disaster has been blown up to sink in the Gulf of Alaska. It was deemed safer to sink the boat than let fuel evaporate in the open water. (I think they just wanted to have some fun with major target practice.) 4-7- American Airlines cancels 300 flights as it continues to repair hail damaged planes after extreme weather at the Dallas- Fortworth Airport last week. A massive avalanche in Pakistan buries 124 soldiers and some civilians. The avalance was a half mile wide and a hundred feet deep. Southeast England is under a serious drought affecting 20 million people. 4-8- Anchorage, Alaska breaks a 57 year old snow record in one season of 133.6 “, more than elven feet of snow. They received double their yearly amount. Drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds on the Lower Klamath Natioinal Wildlife Preserve in California. It is one of the most important preserves in North America. 4-9- The warmest March on record in the United States last month. 15,292 records were broken. It was 8.6 degrees above the 20th century average. January through March was the warmest ever in the U.S., 6 degrees above normal. (This is alarming news!) Brush fires in New York ? Dry and breezy conditions fan fires up and down the East Coast. A State of Emergency declared in Long Island’s Suffolk County. In Florida 89 fires have burned 16,000 acres with twenty states in High Alert. Red Flag Warnings issued for tomorrow in northern Arizona with 45mph winds expected. 4-11- Yesterday the high at The Land was 92 degrees, today it was 73. Red Flag warnings posted for parts of Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Wyoming. 4-12- The National Weather Service has confirmed four feet of hail yesterday from a storm near Amarillo, Texas. There were drifts piled up forty feet wide tha cut off a major highway. To have this happen in one event three inches of rain would have to fall! 4-13- The name “Irene” has been deleted from Hurricanes due to its death, distruction and cost. Record rain in San Francisco with 750 lightning strikes. Parts of 48 states are now listed as abnormally dry or in drought status. Crop production is down and some produce is expected to double in price. Tornado touches down near the University of Oklahoma near Noram right next to the National Weather Service branch located there. (I bet those geeks loved it!) 4-14- Eleven inches of snow in Flagstaff. .02” of rain at The Land with a high of 59 degrees. Three days ago the high was 93 degrees! Ninety million people are in the path of life threatening tornado possiblilities. Baseball size hail shatters windows today in north east Nebraska. Three unconfirmed twisters hit central Oklahoma. Tornado sirens sounded this morning across Oklahoma City. Vermont’s governor encounters four bears in his yard trying to get food from his bird feeder. He had just gone to bed when he heard the racket. Not bothering to get dressed, and apparently not wearing much, he went out to shoo the bastards away. The largest bear charged him but he managed to get inside his home. “I sleep like many Vermont boys, without too much clothing at night…. The bottom line is the bears were dressed better than I and they could have done some real damage.” (You think?) 4-15- This afternoon tornadoes struck Nebraska, Oklahoma and Minnesota. In Woodward Oklahoma, an EF3 tornado with 160 mph winds killed five and injured 29. 89 homes and 15 businesses destroyed. There was no warning as lightning had disabled the town’s signal tower. In Thurman, Iowa 90% of the homes destroyed or damaged by tornadoes. States of Emergency across five states has 100 tornadoes reported. In all of this there is historic news. The National Weather Service nailed the forecast and was able to give 24 hour notice undoubtedly saving countless lives. Ninety one degrees in Boston. The typical high for this date there is 55 degrees. 4-16- The Boston Marathon is crippled by record breaking heat and thirty degrees above normal. 4800 runners out of the 27,000 opted out after warnings regarding increased risks due to heat. The 26 mile course was lined with extra water, ice, Red Cross stations and ambulances. 4-17- Ten runners in the Boston Marathon yesterday are in critical condition from heat related health problems. Forty degrees above normal in parts of Canada. March may have set new heat records in the U.S., but the world as a whole had the coolest March since 1999. A young Russian woman wins one hundred and fifty thousand dollars with the “Goldman Environmental Prize” for repeatedly standing up to bulldozers and police in her efforts to save an ancient oak forest in Moscow. (Hayduke Lives!) 4-19- Drought conditions in Pennsylvania have forced natural gas drillers to scale back production to temporarily to ease the need for water needed for drilling in certain areas. 4-20- Nearly two years after the BP oil spill large Grapper and Snapper fish are bein caught with open sores, lessions and “strange” black marks never seen before. There is no scientific correlation related to the oil spill but locals in Lousiana are certain these are the affects from the oil in the water. (Science my ass, you don’t need a weatherman to know which the wind is blowing.) Two workers at a Japanese zoo are dead after bears escaped the compound they were “living” in. 4-21- First one hundred degree day at the Land. 103 in Phoenix tied the record set in 1989. The average first one hundred degree day is May 2nd. Last year it occurred April 1st. Flagstaff had a high of 71 degrees, 12 degrees above normal. The East is bracing for heavy, wet snow and tornadoes. The South is getting ready for heavy rain. These are the result of a “dangerous weather mix” as the storm develops. A Canadian man has been charged with slaughtering 56 sled dogs and burying them in a mass grave. The man had hoped for a post Olympic boom for his dog sledding business but it didn’t pan out for “Howling Dog Tours”. (How about dead dog tours?) Three Panama fishermen adrift for sixteen days at sea thought they would be rescued when an American cruise ship appeared. Despite attempts by bird watchers on the ship to alert the captain the ship passed by. Adrift for another sixteen days the men finally perished when they ran out of fresh water and raw fish they had caught. A two month old child in South Carolina was dismembered by the family dog as his father slept. The mother found the child when she came home from work. The dog had severed the boy’s leg and the boy died at a hospital a short time later. 4-22- Earth Day! Hayduke Lives! Phoenix shatters an old record of 99 degrees set in 1949 with 105 degrees today. Kenya’s Wildlife Service game rangers have shot and killed five suspected poachers and recovered elephant tusks weighing 110 pounds. Two rangers were wounded in a gun battle that lasted forty minutes. The wildlife service is determined to make poaching a “high cost, low benefit activity” since elephant deaths have increased and poachers are more aggressive. Six rangers have been killed this year. Peru scientists are investigating a mass die off of dolphins along the coast of that country. 877 carcasses have been counted recently along the shore line. 4-23- Somerset, Pensylvania received eighteen inches of snow today and a foot in upstate New York and Pennsyvania. 75,000 without power. The warm spring has caused many trees to have leaves and the heavy wet snow has snapped branches onto power lines. 103 record in Phoenix. 110 record in Bullhead City, Arizona. 113 record in Death Valley, California. 82 record in Portland, Oregon. 4-24- Ninety six degree record in Phoenix. Heat wave that hit the South West is shifting to the Central U.S. Highs in the eighties from Texas all the way up to Canada. 4-25- Two years after the Gulf oil disaster, U.S. prosecuters file criminal charges, accusing former BP engineer of obstuction of justice. They say he deleted more than 300 text messages that indicated the blown out well was spewing far more crude than reported. 4-26- A crazy late April in the desert (but we will take it). A high of 78 degrees, wind and spotty rain showers. Three days ago we were setting record high temperatures! Eleven thousand folks are evacuated and nine dead after heavy flooding in Haiti. Mexico’s largest city forest park has been devastated by an 18,500 square mile forest fire. It was set by squatters trying to take over land and worsened by gangs trying to scare off firefighters. 4-28- One dead and one hundred injured in St. Louis when a beer garden tent is destroyed during a violent storm. People were in the tent celebrating a baseball victory when the storm struck. Rare tornadoes have destroyed seven homes and a hog farm in the southeastern Colorado plains. 4-30- After a dry winter and windy spring the Denver Board of Water Commision has declared a stage one drought. Water customers will be asked to cut water use by 10%. A snail the size of a pin may stand in the way of a two billion dollar pipeline project that would import water to Las Vegas from northern Nevada. The Tucson based Center for Biological Diversity said it will sue the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on behalf of 35 species. The first wave of five million tons of garbage from the Japan tsunami disaster has washed up in Prince William sound. Even a Harley has washed up in British Columbia. This “environmental tragedy” in the sound may make the Valdez spill pale. And there you have it my faithful readers, another depressing, boring account of last month’s weather. Nothing much to report but more drought, more tornadoes, and more record heat. The song of the month is very much needed in parts of this country. “Let it Rain” by Badly Drawn Boy. Before we end another chapter in weather news you may ask yourself why does this idiot, MR Blue Duck, continue with his monthly nonsense? Well the quote of the month will explain it all. “Time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time” by John Lennon. I suppose there are several ways to enjoy “wasted” time. Until next month when your lips are so parched you look like a blowfish remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took Land. The Distinguished, Honorable, Professor of Shit, MR BlueDuck.