April 2012 Blue Duck Weather News

April, 2012 Weather News! Welcome to another outstanding issue of Blue Duck Weather. In this edition you will find about April winds in Arizona and a very real possibility it will be a very dry and active fire season. Brush fires in New York City?, Daddy and fires, the warmest March on record in the U.S. and alarming news of four feet of hail out of one storm in Texas, drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds, what’s behind this very active and early tornado season, the heat and the Boston Marathon, little heard news anymore of the BP oil spill nearly two years later, a story just in time for Earth Day of a young Russian woman who places herself in front of bulldozers to save a forest, squatters setting a massive forest fire on purpose and much, much more! But first let me begin with my father’s weather predictions that actually tie into his beliefs. It may very well scare the shit out of you! When he was in the hospital this month for five days he told me many things, some I have heard a million times, but a few things I either don’t remember, want to remember or they were actually new stories from his resting mind. He had plenty of time to watch television in that joint and the weather. But his predictions did not come from that alone. You only need to be on The Land for forty years to know how dry it has been for at least the last ten years. Daddy told me that the true end of the planet would be caused by increasing heat, starvation, mass thirst and finally a fire that would consume this planet. He wasn’t talking out of his mind or delusional. This is what he believes and has always said his worst fear is dying by fire and being trapped. Let me tell you this wasn’t the most optimistic weather (or spiritual) forecast I have heard. Before we get to all the news that fit’s the weather world let us bring you up to date on some boring local statistics not worthy of even noting. The average temperature on The Land was 70.71 degrees for the month of April. The average at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill 51.79 degrees. It is worth noting that summer is on its fucking way. The average daily temperature at the end of the month was 14 degrees warmer than the beginning. Dangerously low rainfall is beginning to concern me and many others. To date the Land has had .35 inches for the year! Phoenix has had .33 inches. We received .03’’ in April, just enough to tease. The major lakes in the Southwest and Arizona are holding their own despite the low amount of rainfall and snow melt. Mead is at 55% capacity, Pleasant 92%, Powell, 64% and Roosevelt down to 66%. (I bet some of our ten year old camp spots are now dry and not under water.) 4-1- 47 mph winds in Flagstaff, 58 mph winds in Show Low and 33mph in Phoenix. A thirty five acre fire as erupted near Luna Lake, Arizona near the burned Wallow Fire area from last summer. It was 93 degrees at The Land yesterday, today with the wind chill it was 69 degrees, the same temperature as Talking Trees and Antelope Hill sitting at 7400 feet in New Mexico. A Red Flag Warning has been issued for southern Arizona tomorrow from eight a.m. to eleven p.m. From Colorado to Florida 50 cities experienced the warmest March on record with the majority of cities in the central U.S. and the South. New tornado warnings are meant to scare people and end the “cry wolf” syndrome that exists with current warnings that people ignore. In a test that begins tomorrow in Kansas and Missouri weather service offices will use words like “mass devastation, “unsurvivable” (which isn’t even an actual word) and “catastrophic.” Six hundred and seventy five fishermen have been rescued off a “runaway” floe in Russia. The search for a Colorado woman missing in last week’s wildfire has been suspended after rescuers found human remains in her burned home. The fire is 90% contained. 4-2- From his secluded location in Colorado Ry Duck reports that the high yesterday was 80 degrees, today with the wind chill it was 29 degrees. 4-3- At least two tornadoes struck the major Dallas, Fort Worth area. Video footage showed tractor trailers being hurled hundreds of feet into the air. Southbound Dallas flights cancelled and planes were inspected for hail damage. Thousands are stranded but fortunately there are no fatalities. 4-4- Forty mph winds forecasted tomorrow for Flagstaff and a Red Flag Warning has been issued. Record heat is to blame for this very active and early tornado season. There were 223 tornadoes in March, up from an average of 80 from 1991-2010. There were 13 confirmed tornadoes yesterday in the Dallas area with 6.3 million people in shelters. In one incident a grandmother held her 18 month old baby by his feet as the wind tried to take him away. They were huddled in a bathtub as the tornado destroyed their home. 4-6- In Arizona, the Higley Unified School District places Cortino Elementary in a “modified” lockdown after a mountain lion was spotted in a wash near the school. A storm in Buenos Airies, Argentina has blown down roofs and trees killing 13 and injuring 20. The 164 foot long “ghost ship” adrift for more than a year after Japan’s tsunami disaster has been blown up to sink in the Gulf of Alaska. It was deemed safer to sink the boat than let fuel evaporate in the open water. (I think they just wanted to have some fun with major target practice.) 4-7- American Airlines cancels 300 flights as it continues to repair hail damaged planes after extreme weather at the Dallas- Fortworth Airport last week. A massive avalanche in Pakistan buries 124 soldiers and some civilians. The avalance was a half mile wide and a hundred feet deep. Southeast England is under a serious drought affecting 20 million people. 4-8- Anchorage, Alaska breaks a 57 year old snow record in one season of 133.6 “, more than elven feet of snow. They received double their yearly amount. Drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds on the Lower Klamath Natioinal Wildlife Preserve in California. It is one of the most important preserves in North America. 4-9- The warmest March on record in the United States last month. 15,292 records were broken. It was 8.6 degrees above the 20th century average. January through March was the warmest ever in the U.S., 6 degrees above normal. (This is alarming news!) Brush fires in New York ? Dry and breezy conditions fan fires up and down the East Coast. A State of Emergency declared in Long Island’s Suffolk County. In Florida 89 fires have burned 16,000 acres with twenty states in High Alert. Red Flag Warnings issued for tomorrow in northern Arizona with 45mph winds expected. 4-11- Yesterday the high at The Land was 92 degrees, today it was 73. Red Flag warnings posted for parts of Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Wyoming. 4-12- The National Weather Service has confirmed four feet of hail yesterday from a storm near Amarillo, Texas. There were drifts piled up forty feet wide tha cut off a major highway. To have this happen in one event three inches of rain would have to fall! 4-13- The name “Irene” has been deleted from Hurricanes due to its death, distruction and cost. Record rain in San Francisco with 750 lightning strikes. Parts of 48 states are now listed as abnormally dry or in drought status. Crop production is down and some produce is expected to double in price. Tornado touches down near the University of Oklahoma near Noram right next to the National Weather Service branch located there. (I bet those geeks loved it!) 4-14- Eleven inches of snow in Flagstaff. .02” of rain at The Land with a high of 59 degrees. Three days ago the high was 93 degrees! Ninety million people are in the path of life threatening tornado possiblilities. Baseball size hail shatters windows today in north east Nebraska. Three unconfirmed twisters hit central Oklahoma. Tornado sirens sounded this morning across Oklahoma City. Vermont’s governor encounters four bears in his yard trying to get food from his bird feeder. He had just gone to bed when he heard the racket. Not bothering to get dressed, and apparently not wearing much, he went out to shoo the bastards away. The largest bear charged him but he managed to get inside his home. “I sleep like many Vermont boys, without too much clothing at night…. The bottom line is the bears were dressed better than I and they could have done some real damage.” (You think?) 4-15- This afternoon tornadoes struck Nebraska, Oklahoma and Minnesota. In Woodward Oklahoma, an EF3 tornado with 160 mph winds killed five and injured 29. 89 homes and 15 businesses destroyed. There was no warning as lightning had disabled the town’s signal tower. In Thurman, Iowa 90% of the homes destroyed or damaged by tornadoes. States of Emergency across five states has 100 tornadoes reported. In all of this there is historic news. The National Weather Service nailed the forecast and was able to give 24 hour notice undoubtedly saving countless lives. Ninety one degrees in Boston. The typical high for this date there is 55 degrees. 4-16- The Boston Marathon is crippled by record breaking heat and thirty degrees above normal. 4800 runners out of the 27,000 opted out after warnings regarding increased risks due to heat. The 26 mile course was lined with extra water, ice, Red Cross stations and ambulances. 4-17- Ten runners in the Boston Marathon yesterday are in critical condition from heat related health problems. Forty degrees above normal in parts of Canada. March may have set new heat records in the U.S., but the world as a whole had the coolest March since 1999. A young Russian woman wins one hundred and fifty thousand dollars with the “Goldman Environmental Prize” for repeatedly standing up to bulldozers and police in her efforts to save an ancient oak forest in Moscow. (Hayduke Lives!) 4-19- Drought conditions in Pennsylvania have forced natural gas drillers to scale back production to temporarily to ease the need for water needed for drilling in certain areas. 4-20- Nearly two years after the BP oil spill large Grapper and Snapper fish are bein caught with open sores, lessions and “strange” black marks never seen before. There is no scientific correlation related to the oil spill but locals in Lousiana are certain these are the affects from the oil in the water. (Science my ass, you don’t need a weatherman to know which the wind is blowing.) Two workers at a Japanese zoo are dead after bears escaped the compound they were “living” in. 4-21- First one hundred degree day at the Land. 103 in Phoenix tied the record set in 1989. The average first one hundred degree day is May 2nd. Last year it occurred April 1st. Flagstaff had a high of 71 degrees, 12 degrees above normal. The East is bracing for heavy, wet snow and tornadoes. The South is getting ready for heavy rain. These are the result of a “dangerous weather mix” as the storm develops. A Canadian man has been charged with slaughtering 56 sled dogs and burying them in a mass grave. The man had hoped for a post Olympic boom for his dog sledding business but it didn’t pan out for “Howling Dog Tours”. (How about dead dog tours?) Three Panama fishermen adrift for sixteen days at sea thought they would be rescued when an American cruise ship appeared. Despite attempts by bird watchers on the ship to alert the captain the ship passed by. Adrift for another sixteen days the men finally perished when they ran out of fresh water and raw fish they had caught. A two month old child in South Carolina was dismembered by the family dog as his father slept. The mother found the child when she came home from work. The dog had severed the boy’s leg and the boy died at a hospital a short time later. 4-22- Earth Day! Hayduke Lives! Phoenix shatters an old record of 99 degrees set in 1949 with 105 degrees today. Kenya’s Wildlife Service game rangers have shot and killed five suspected poachers and recovered elephant tusks weighing 110 pounds. Two rangers were wounded in a gun battle that lasted forty minutes. The wildlife service is determined to make poaching a “high cost, low benefit activity” since elephant deaths have increased and poachers are more aggressive. Six rangers have been killed this year. Peru scientists are investigating a mass die off of dolphins along the coast of that country. 877 carcasses have been counted recently along the shore line. 4-23- Somerset, Pensylvania received eighteen inches of snow today and a foot in upstate New York and Pennsyvania. 75,000 without power. The warm spring has caused many trees to have leaves and the heavy wet snow has snapped branches onto power lines. 103 record in Phoenix. 110 record in Bullhead City, Arizona. 113 record in Death Valley, California. 82 record in Portland, Oregon. 4-24- Ninety six degree record in Phoenix. Heat wave that hit the South West is shifting to the Central U.S. Highs in the eighties from Texas all the way up to Canada. 4-25- Two years after the Gulf oil disaster, U.S. prosecuters file criminal charges, accusing former BP engineer of obstuction of justice. They say he deleted more than 300 text messages that indicated the blown out well was spewing far more crude than reported. 4-26- A crazy late April in the desert (but we will take it). A high of 78 degrees, wind and spotty rain showers. Three days ago we were setting record high temperatures! Eleven thousand folks are evacuated and nine dead after heavy flooding in Haiti. Mexico’s largest city forest park has been devastated by an 18,500 square mile forest fire. It was set by squatters trying to take over land and worsened by gangs trying to scare off firefighters. 4-28- One dead and one hundred injured in St. Louis when a beer garden tent is destroyed during a violent storm. People were in the tent celebrating a baseball victory when the storm struck. Rare tornadoes have destroyed seven homes and a hog farm in the southeastern Colorado plains. 4-30- After a dry winter and windy spring the Denver Board of Water Commision has declared a stage one drought. Water customers will be asked to cut water use by 10%. A snail the size of a pin may stand in the way of a two billion dollar pipeline project that would import water to Las Vegas from northern Nevada. The Tucson based Center for Biological Diversity said it will sue the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on behalf of 35 species. The first wave of five million tons of garbage from the Japan tsunami disaster has washed up in Prince William sound. Even a Harley has washed up in British Columbia. This “environmental tragedy” in the sound may make the Valdez spill pale. And there you have it my faithful readers, another depressing, boring account of last month’s weather. Nothing much to report but more drought, more tornadoes, and more record heat. The song of the month is very much needed in parts of this country. “Let it Rain” by Badly Drawn Boy. Before we end another chapter in weather news you may ask yourself why does this idiot, MR Blue Duck, continue with his monthly nonsense? Well the quote of the month will explain it all. “Time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time” by John Lennon. I suppose there are several ways to enjoy “wasted” time. Until next month when your lips are so parched you look like a blowfish remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took Land. The Distinguished, Honorable, Professor of Shit, MR BlueDuck.

March 2012 BLUE DUCK WEATHER NEWS

March 2012 Weather News!

Introduction: The new month starts off with more deadly rare winter tornadoes in the Midwest with snow predicted right behind them! The tragic tales of death and the miraculous survival accounts. More avalanche accidents and a very active season due to unstable snow bases. Japan, one year later after 3-11. Startling news for the Great Lakes area! The dog days of March for record breaking temperatures across the eastern half of the country. Angry Bird game keeps man from going insane when he was stranded in the snow. Special permits issued to kill Bald eagles. The “March Miracle” in northern Arizona one day before the beginning of spring! The state with the most expensive drought in United States history.

3-1- Red Flag Warning issued for most of Arizona tomorrow with 40mph winds expected.

The Northwest finally is getting hit with a blast of winter weather after a mild season. New York to Maine has areas with a foot of snow.

Thirty three confirmed tornadoes is the total from the storm two days ago. Thirteen souls are gone in seven states. Harrisburg, Illinois alone lost six people.

3-2- EF4 tornadoes with wind speeds from 170mph to 200mph across Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Indiana (being the worst hit.) A high school in Indiana was completely destroyed. Seventeen states have Tornado Warnings. This weather is affecting 155 million people in eight states! There is a 90% chance of tornadoes in Kentucky, a very rare forecast.

No wonder there is a Red Flag Warning for fire danger in Arizona due to the wind. The humidity at the Land this afternoon was 9%, the dew point 4 degrees, bone dry!

A skier caught in an avalanche in Alpine Meadows, California died yesterday. He was slammed against a tree and partially buried in the snow.

Six feet of snow has fallen in California’s Sierra Nevada.

3-3- States of Emergency in Indiana and Kentucky. Every home in Henryville, Indiana is gone. Some of the tornado stricken areas are forecast to have snow in two days and many have no electricity or homes.

Warm weather and a dipping jet stream are causing the monster storms that caused tornadoes recently. Yesterday the Storm Prediction Center had received 311 reports of severe weather, including 48 reported tornadoes.

3-4- A fourteen month old girl found in a field one hundred and fifty yards from her home has died of her injuries. Her parents, brother and sister died instantly when a tornado ravaged their home in New Pekin, Indiana. The death toll is now up to 38 from the series of storms.

3-5- “A seven year old boy who was sucked from his home last Friday and dropped 350’ away on the side of a road is home from the hospital, recovering from his injuries. His family’s two story home was destroyed.

An Indiana woman lost both of her legs when her family’s home collapsed on top of her last Friday as she was shielding her two children. All of them survived.

Maryville, Indiana is so badly damaged by the last series of storms and tornadoes residents may not rebuild there. The storms may signal the end of tiny towns destroyed in the Midwest.

So far March has had the most tornadoes ever recorded, 179. Forty now confirmed dead in 46 separate tornadoes. People had only seconds to react since it was in the dead of night. One tornado cut a 52 mile path in Indiana. Now a blanket of snow in the region worsens cleanup operations (and survival.)

3-6- Strong winds and an afternoon humidity of 9% helps cause a two hundred acre brush fire near the Gila River in Buckeye, Arizona. Firefighters can’t fight it because they cannot get to it with the erratic wind behavior. A high voltage powerline in the fire area has been de-energized.

A five acre wildfire has erupted near Flagstaff with wind gusts of 70mph.

Floods in eastern Australia have forced 13,000 to evacuate their homes after record rain amounts have flooded three states.

A snowmobiler buried under ten feet of snow in Utah has been rescued and he was back to work the next day!

The Yuma City council may approve an ordinance to ban rooster crowing in city limits.

3-7- The Arlington Fire near Buckeye, Arizona has grown to five hundred acres.

3-8- The Arlington Fire near Buckeye, Arizona fully contained at one thousand acres. It was started by a farmer doing a “controlled burn.” (You have got to be kidding me when a Red Flag Warning was posted for the day the fire started.)

3-9- “Dry, dry, dry” as my old dad has been saying. Only March and dust storms close portions of I-25 in Albequerque, New Mexico. Also I-10 from the Arizona state line to Las Crucus, New Mexico closed.

3-10- Record breaking severe weather in Hawaii and a State of Emergency is declared. Unprecedented hail, water spouts and a tonado a mile and a half inland. Major flooding with four feet of rain in the past week!

Despite warm weather and high pressure in most of Arizona a “pesky low” has caused three inches of snow in Cochise County.

A high of 47 degrees in El Paso, Texas with a high of 64 degrees in Billings, Montana is highly unusual.

Food production has gone down 40% in Mexico due to the sustained drought and may cause wide spread hunger for years to come.

The bodies of two local recognized skiers from Jackson Hole, Wyoming have been recovered in the mountains of Teton National Park after being buried by an avalanche .

A seventy four year old woman trapped in her bedroom closet where she had hid eight days ago to escape a tornado in Kentucky has been found dead. She could not get out of the closet because the door handle fell off. The death toll is now up to 55 folks.

A woman and her cat have been found alive after three and a half weeks in the rugged Gila National Forest in New Mexico. She stayed bundled in a sleeping bag and kept close to a water source. The woman and her cat had only a “handful of supplies.” She is emaciated and malnourished but well hydrated. Her cat was in better shape because it hunted for food.

The woman, who has a history of mental illness, purposely hiked off a trail and set up camp. Authorities don’t believe she intended to stay as long as she did and aren’t quite sure what she ate when she ran out of food. (She should have eaten the fucking cat!)

3-11- The Great Lakes ice coverage has shrank 70% in the last forty years according to the American Meteorological Society. The data is based on satellite photos from 1973 to 2010. The most ice lost is on Lake Ontorio at 88% and Lake Superior at 77%. (This is serious shit! And I bitch about the lake levels in the West.)

They call it the equivalent to our 9-11, the 3-11 anniversary of the disaster in Japan last year. Three hundred thousand still live in refugee camps and only six percent of the carnage and destruction has been removed. Forty percent of the population in Tokyo is unemployed or under employed.

3-12- Here is the reason why Arizona doesn’t change to daylight savings time; when first enacted during World War 1 and 2 to save energy Arizona wanted days to end sooner not later because of heat. The act was restablished in 1976. (It’s all mind games. Throw away the watch and the sun comes up and the sun goes down when it will.)

Avalanche kills 45 in eastern Afghanistan. Just a week ago an entire village was wiped out killing 50.

3-13- Fifteen inches of rain in portions of Louisiana in five hours leaves seven feet of water on streets! The rainfall is one quarter of the state’s annual rainfall normally.

3-14- Temperature in Chicago today 81 degrees, the same high as The Land!

Warm spell breaks 138 high records in the Midwest and Northeast. In some areas temperatures are 35 degrees above normal.

A ski guide has been killed in an avalanche in the mountains in southeast Alaska near the town of Haines. He was guiding six skiers. One was buried and is “clinging to life.”

A cat jumped into a transformer in downtown Phoenix causing 1500 to be without power. (There was no mention of the condition of the cat although I’m sure it was vaporized upon impact. Speaking of impact remind me to tell you the Christmas gift radio controlled helicopter that knocked out power to our entire “neighborhood.”)

3-15- Southern Arizona has half the snow pack normally for this time of year. The conditions are as dry as normally found in May. There are grave concerns for the fire danger this summer especially the two million acre Coroanado National Forest.

A Winter Storm Advisory is issued for northern Airzona for Saturday through Monday.

More heat records shattered in the East and Midwest. Washington D.C. at 80 degrees broke a record for the third straight day. North Dakota was warmer than Arizona today. 5,600 records have been broken for warmest temperatures so far this year in the U.S.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has issued the first of its kind permit in Wyoming to the northern Arapaho Tribe, allowing them to kill up to two bald eagles for religious purposes.

Three people in separate attacks have been bitten by coyotes in a Vistancia, Peoria, Arizona neighborhood in the past three days. One woman was bitten on the ankle Monday evening while sitting on her back porch. The next day a woman was bitten on the chest reclining in a chair and a man bitten on the calf. Both were sitting on their porches. There are only eleven documented cases in Maricopa County of coyote bites in the past 15 years. (I can recall one time camping when coyotes were getting brazen and too close to camp when my good friend came out of his tent with a .44 handgun blazing at the bastards. He gave no notice and my dad, who was in camp, almost had a second heart attack. But the bastards were gone.)

A second man pulled from an avalanche in Haines, Alaska has died from his injuries. He had been snowboarding and was buried under six to eight feet of snow. The two men would not have been found if they weren’t wearing avalanche beacons.

3-16- Winter Storm Warning for northern Arizona above 5,000’. Winter Storm Watch in southern Arizona. 60mph winds possible.

A rare tornado near Ann Arbor, Michigan for this time of year is an EF3 with 145mph wind speeds. 110 homes damaged and 13 destroyed. Warning sirens likely prevented injuries and deaths.

A man stranded for three days on a snow covered back woods Montana road attributed his survival to “God, a rationed supply of beef jerky and the video game Angry Birds” that he played on his cell phone to keep from going insane. He had no cell phone reception to call for help.

3-17- Red Flag Warnings in eastern Arizona and a brush fire has broken out near Highways 60 and 77 near Show Low.

With this storm moving in NAU has already cancelled classes for Monday.

First signs of spring at The Land despite only .02 inches of rain since January 1st. The creosotes and barrel cacti are blooming their brilliant yellow flowers and fruit.

Fourth straight day of record heat in Chicago.

If Anchorage, Alaska receives 3.3 inches more snow this season a 60 year old record of 132.6 inches will be broken. Some streets are snow walled canyons and moose seek the city to get out of the deep snow in the woods.

3-18- Due to heavy snow in northern Arizona 180 miles of I-40 closed. Eighteen inches of snow in Flagstaff and thirty inches at the Snow Bowl. It was warmer today in Denver than in Phoenix. Snow level to drop to twenty five hundred feet tonight.
.30 inches of rain at The Land with a high of 56 degrees. I personally witnessed pea size hail at Queen Creek road and I-10. (Stoked a fire in the fireplace, it will probably be the last one until say next November.)

Hundreds of more heat records broken with St. Paul setting one for the eight straight day and an all time record of 79 degrees in International Falls.

3-19- With this storm passing out of Arizona a record .24’’ of rain for the date was recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport breaking the old record set in 1924! The Snow Bowl received 56’’ of snow, Sunrise 39’’ and Prescott 16’’. (There was even rare snow on Table Top Mountain, about thirty miles south of The Land that stuck all day. That mountain is only about 4500 feet high.)

The storm that just dumped heavy snow in California and Arizona has been dubbed a “March Miracle.”

A four hundred and fifty acre wildfire is contained in Santa Cruz County, Arizona.

Wind fueled wildfires in north east Colorado destroy two homes and three hundred evacuations in the tiny town of Eckley. The fire is ten miles long and a mile and a half wide.

Two tornadoes are confirmed outsied of Platte, Nebraska and severe storms have struck parts of Texas and Ohio.

An all time record of 83 degrees in Travers, Michigan and the 5th straight day of 80 degrees in Chicago.

3-20- Thunder was so strong this morning in Tulsa, Oklahoma it registered on seismic equipment. Locals called the NWS to see if an earthquake happened.

A tornado touched down last night 25 miles south west of San Antonio, Texas.

A fire burning on Mount Kenya is sending elephants and other large animals running for their lives. British troops are fighting to put out several fires.

Five skiers killed and one injured after being buried by a 3,000 foot wall of snow on Norway’s Arctic fringe. All were located by rescue beacons.

3-21- A storm dumps twelve inches of rain in parts of Louisiana causing major flooding.

The unseasonably warm weather has raised the danger of wildfires in northern parts of the United States where fires are unusual. Grass fires in Wisconsin last week burned hundreds of acres and caused two deaths.
Fire weather watch warnings are issued for parts of North Dakota and Montana.

3-22- Possibley the most expensive drought of any state ever, Texas agriculture lost 7.62 billion dollars in 2011. Hardest hit were livestock ranchers followed by cotton groweres. Texas is the largest producer of both commodities in the United States producing 15% of beef cattel and 25% of cotton. Many ranchers tried to buy hay from as far away as Montana. (Who is going to replace this shortage and how?)

3-23- A tornado kills a woman in her home in southern Illinois. Six confirmed tornadoes in south east Missouri, southern Illinois and Kentucky.

3-25- A Wind Advisory is issued for northern Arizona and a Red Flag Warning for Tucson.

The largest hailstone ever to hit Hawaii measured 4.25’’ long, 2.25’’ tall and 2’’ wide.

March has broken 6,000 warmest records so far from Minnesota to Michigan and Tennessee to Georgia. There have been about 250 daily record lows.

Warm days in Colorado are bringing out bears early. Bear sightings have been reported in Colorado Springs, Aspen, Durango and Summit County.

3-26- A young designer in Detroit has created the “MWPR” coat that doubles as a sleeping bag for the homeless population in that city, about 20,000. It is made by the homeless, teaching them skills to sew and produce products.

3-27- A fire south west of Denver has destroyed or damaged 23 homes. A husband and wife are dead but it is unclear if by the fire. The fire has burned 448 acres and at zero containment. Nine hundred homes have been evacuated and 6500 others have been warned of possible evacuation. A controlled burn may have started the fire and there were wind gusts up to 90mph yesterday.

After a warm spring temperatures drop into the twenties in New York, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Hampshire.

South African rugby players are swept out to sea in rough waters after a post practice swim. One player dead, five missing and fifteen rescued.

3-28- The two cousins accused of starting the largest Arizona wildfire in history last summer plead guilty to four counts related to building an unsafe campfire. The face up to a year in prison and ten thousand dollars in fines.

3-29- The governor of Colorado suspends state prescribed burns in light of the recent fire near Denver.

Softball size hail breaks windshields in Madison, Kansas.

Because of the severe drought, farmers in Texas and Louisiana have abandoned hundreds of donkeys turning them into “wandering refugees.” Ranchers used them to guard herds of cattle and goats. When the herds were sold off because of the drought the donkeys were “out of a job.” Eight hundred abandoned donkeys in Texas have been rescued.

The reward for information on the killing of six wild burros north of Phoenix has increased to six thousand dollars. Five adults were shot to death and one foal died when its mother was killed.

3-30- A seventy six year old man with diabetes, a pacemaker and has had triple bypass surgery survives ten days in a remote desert in Nevada. He and his seventy five year old friend drove out to scope out mines when they became stuck. His friend set off on foot for help and was later found dead about a mile and a half from the vehicle. The man who survived used a towel to strain drinking water from snow and water in a ditch.

3-31- 93 degrees at The Land, the first for many months! 20.50 degrees warmer than the beginning of the month. It is going to be a long, dry hot summer I’m afraid. Phoenix tied a record of 94 degrees.
Red Flag warning tomorrow in Kingman and state wide the temperature is supposed to drop twenty degrees.
There has been a recent string of shark attacks in Australia. One man is dead after being attacked by a 13’ long shark.

And there you have it my faithful readers of the incredible Blue Duck Weather with all the news that fits our dorky little minds!

We will leave you with the song of the month that reminds us of the transition from winter to spring in more ways than one; “Comin’ Home” by Tim McGraw.

Yours very sincerely, the Incredible, Distinguished, Honorable, Doctor of Quack logy, Professor MR Blue Duck.

Blue Duck Weather February 2012

February 2012 Weather News!

Welcome to another fine edition of Blue Duck Weather! The deep freeze in Europe seemed to steal the “thunder” away from the United States. Many areas have had little snow fall and some regions have reported allergy season in the “dead of winter.” One climatologist reported about a normally active ski resort in the Mid West having golfers on it instead of snow. And right here in Arizona a couple of wildfires have already happened and a way to early rattlesnake spotting. (It’s going to be a long summer!)

But wait! You will read so much more in this exciting edition of Blue Duck Weather such as a massive flood control project proposed for Pinal County, Arizona (way to late), a moose alert in Alaska, A Clock Work Orange approach to controlling wolf appetites, a government in a country that tells YOU what to do after a major storm, a woman facing animal cruelty charges after she let her pet dog nearly chew its leg off, fatal shark attacks double, a scientific feat on this earth so profound it is being compared to the moon landing, how many people in the in the United States have been affected by violent weather in the last six years, climate change killing off the mighty yellow cedar trees in Alaska, Avalanche survival statistics and the last day of February brings violent tornadoes to the Mid West.

The average temperature at The Land in February was 52.90 degrees, Talking Trees and Antelope Hill in New Mexico was 32.73 degrees.

.02 inches of rain fell in February at The Land and that is the dismal total for the year! Phoenix has had a trace of rain for the year thus far.

If we don’t get some substantial rain and snow melt run off the lake levels will recede quickly but here is where they stand: Mead is 57% full, Powell 64%, Pleasant 86% and Roosevelt 67%.

2-1- Rescue helicopters evacuate people from blocked villages in Serbia and Bosnia and airlift food and medicine. In Bulgaria, sixteen towns have recorded the lowest temperatures on record. The snow is six feet deep in some areas and up to the roof tops of homes in others. The death toll from hypothermia is up to 79, many of them homeless folks.

A Glendale, Arizona police officer shot and killed a pit bull after he tried to stop the dog from attacking a woman.

Snowy owls, normally found in the Arctic are showing up in the lower 48 states. Unprecedented numbers are showing up in Washington state.

Snow drifts in Alaska force Moose to use rail and roads for easier travel. A “moose emergency” has been declared with the increase of collisions with trains and cars. North of Anchorage 315 have been killed this winter.

2-2- Sixty five degrees plus a 14 mph wind equals sixty degrees on The Land for a high temperature.

One New Jersey climatologist proclaims “Disgusted that golfers are golfing on my cross country ski course.” Bismarck has one fifth of normal snowfall, Boston a third and Buffalo three feet below normal. Temperatures are near 70 in Washington, D.C. and already cherry trees are budding. One fifth of the country outside of Alaska has no snow on the ground. Drought stricken Midland, Texas has had more snow than Minneapolis or Chicago.

Due to recent heavy rains in the Dallas, Fort Worth areas the drought is declared over for now. Sixty percent of the state remains in severe drought stages.

It may feel like spring in many parts of the nation but Punxsutawney Phil proclaimed six more weeks of winter after he emerged from his drunken burrow and saw his shadow today.

Twenty one degrees below zero in Belgrade and Serbia. The death toll from a week long freeze is up to 114 across Europe. 11,000 are trapped in Serbia’s mountains from snow and blizzards.

The following contribution is from the lovely Mrs. Blue Duck: An 85 year old Anchorage woman uses a shovel to stop a moose from stomping her 82 year old husband to death. He is recovering from gashes and broken ribs. They were letting their dogs run when the man was attacked outside of his pickup.

And this one is right in my neighborhood (if you want to call it that). 93 dogs and five exotic birds are removed from a “home” in Hidden Valley, Arizona by Animal Care & Control because of “extreme animal hoarding.” Two people lived in the “home” with no electricity or running water. The floors were covered with garbage and two inches of animal shit.

2-3- Heavy snow in the Denver area with 600 flight cancellations. I-70 is closed and hundreds of miles of roads between Colorado and Kansas. At one point two inches of snow was falling per hour and the airporty in Denver had eight inches this afternoon with three to four feet in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.

Russia and the Ukraine are taking extra precautions to protect the homeless from the killer cold, ordering new facilities and medical care. The death toll is up to 175, most of them homeless folks.

As the cold and snow move west, rare heavy snow blankets Rome with up to eight inches forcing the closure of the Colosseum to tourists. The last substantial snow in Rome was 1986. “ Government issued shovels to clear sidewalks.” (It’s pretty fucking bad when the government has to loan you a shovel.)

Wildlife officials in Arizona and New Mexico are running out of options to keep the Mexican gray wolf from attacking cattle. The cattle killing has been one of the biggest objections to the reintroduction of the wolf. Now officials are going to try “conditioned taste aversion” to make the wolves repulse at the taste of beef. The wolves will be fed beef laced with an oderless and tasteless medication. It will make the poor creatures so sick that it will kill their desire for fresh bovine. (Good luck, remember “poor” Alex in Clockwork Orange? They couldn’t kill his desire for “fresh meat” for very long.)

2-4- A 250 acre brush fire is 70% contained in the Chiricahua Mountains in southeast Arizona. A spokesperson for the Coronado National Forest said it was human caused.
( Man it seems early for wildfires. What is this summer going to be like?)

A record of 15.9” of snow fell in Denver, the most ever for February. Six feet of snow in the Rocky Mountain foothills. Blizzard conditions in the eastern Colorado plains including five foot drifts in Elbert County.

Thirty two degrees on The Land this morning and yet a friend of BeckPeck’s sent her a photo of a rattler they killed later in the morning on their property. (rattlesnakes and wildfires already? It is going to be a brutal summer.)

2-5- That storm that tore through Colorado dumps a foot of snow in Nebraska, a new record in Omaha. Fifteen thousand are without power.

Three feet of snow fell in Bosnia yesterday and state of emergency is declared by the government. All schools to remain closed, Women and children must remain indoors and men can only go to work if their jobs are essential. Men are “ordered” to help clear the streets if they own shovels or vehicles large enough that can be used as plows. ( How would you like it if our government told us what to do and how to act after a major storm?)

A family of three looking for mushrooms (Far out dude, there’s some shrooms) became lost in an old growth Oregon forest with only light clothing and no provisions. They were lost for six days and survived by drinking water from streams and taking shelter in a hollowed out tree. They could hear rescue helicopters looking for them but could not signal through the canopy of trees above them. Yesterday they managed to get to a clearing where they were spotted.

Mandatory evacuations in Australia from flooding and 5,000 people are cut off.

2-6- January was the third warmest on record in Phoenix.

A dam collapsed today in southern Bulgaria after heavy rain and melting snow. An eight foot wall of water swept over 700 homes killing three.

2-7- Minnesota had a record warm December/January with temperatures ten degrees above normal. No state in the U.S. was colder than average. Many locations across the northern Plains exceeded all time warm maximum temperatures in January.

As the European freeze and snow of last week thaws swollen rivers in Greece and Bulgaria burst their banks. Eight now confirmed dead from the collapse of a dam that nearly washed a village away.

A twenty two year old Peoria, Arizona woman is facing animal abuse charges after letting her dog nearly chew its own leg off. The woman told officers that the dog was injured in a car accident about a year ago and never received medical care. The wound became infected and the dog has tried to gnaw off the bottom third of its leg. The leg has been amputated and the neglected pooch is doing fine.

And you read it hear first during the planning of the expedition: The Russian mountaineering team seeking to be the first two climb K2 in the winter has abandoned their climb after one of the members died in base camp due to breathing problems.

BYOB. The Grand Canyon bans sales of bottled water. Bottles discarded by lazy inconsiderate idiots make up 30% of the Canyon’s recyclable waste and 20% of all waste. There will be 10 refilling stations at the South Rim if you want to refill your own fucking water bottle!

2-8- Midwest farmers are worried about the mild winter weather. They feel more comfortable when there is substantial snow cover to ensure adequate moisture levels in the soil that help crops endure the dry summer months.

Four Balkan nations have suspended shipping on the Danube River because of thick ice blocking the heavily used waterway. Serbian officials say they will have the army use explosives to break up ice on the Danube and Ibar rivers to try and prevent flooding.

For the first time in fifteen years the ice is not thick enough for the 16,000 skaters that participate in the famous Dutch skating marathon.

A 32 year old experienced climber fell to his death due to icy conditions on Mount Hood in Oreogon.

2-9- Arizona Jan Brewer signs a proclamation today to support a massive flood control project to protect the Pinal County area from massive flooding along the Lower Santa Cruz River. Since 1887 thirty four massive floods have occurred on the river, an average of one every three or four years. Six of the most damaging floods have happened in the last 50 years. Maricopa mayor said eliminating flooding along the river is “as challenging as it is historic.” (He doesn’t have a clue. As I drove through Maricopa when thousands of houses were being built like match boxes I thought back to the flood of 1982 that made national news. They should have prepared for the “big one” before they ever built. Some day that entire town will be under water.)

On national television Serbia’s state power company urged citizens to save electricity. It has been so cold Serbia is struggling to keep up with power demands.

“Opening a scientific frontier miles under the Antartic ice, Russian experts drilled down and finally reached the surface of a gigantic freshwater lake, an achievment likened to placing a man on the moon.”

Lake Vostok could contain living organisms that have been locked inside icy darkness for twenty million years. It took twenty years of drilling to reach it at a depth of 12,366 feet!

The number of shark attack deaths doubled in 2011 from 2010. Seventy five fatalities were reported world wide, none in the United States. Part of the reason for the increase may be that tourists are going to more remote locations with less access to emergency medical care.

A federal judge tosses out an unprecedented lawsuit seeking to grant constitutional protection against slavery to Orca whales that perform in Sea World parks. (You read about this idiocy when the lawsuit was filed in a fine edition of Blue Duck Weather.)

A contribution from the Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck: A six year old Texas boy is recovering after being attacked by a mountain lion while walking with his family at Big Bend National Park. It sneaked up on him and clamped his face. The boy’s father stabbed the vicious bastard in the chest with a pocket knife that caused the cat to flee.

2-10- Eighty degrees in Phoenix, ten degrees above normal.

Bitter cold and heavy snow in Turkey is making life misery for 140,000 people already homeless by the nation’s devastating earthquake four months ago. A foot of snow has fallen with temperatures at minus four degrees.

2-11- Heavy snow falls in Italy today cutting off mountain villages. Weeks of freezing cold and snowstorms have prevented 100,000 tons of fruit, vegetables and meat from reaching the market and rotting.

Three killed when an avalanche buries a house in Kosovo. Nine are missing. The heaviest snow since 1949, twenty inches, has fallen.

2-12- A wildfire south of Tucson has burned three hundred acres and is five percent contained. Three families evacuated in Empire Hills. The fire is human caused and worsened by strong winds.

A Winter Weather Advisory has been posted for parts of New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas and Iowa.

Death toll from a deadly avalanche in Kosovo is up to nine. A single house was flattened by thirty three feet of snow. Miraculously a five year old girl has been found alive in the flattened house. Officers heard her voice and a ring from a cell phone.

As an exterminator was trying to control a major bee hive in Mesa, Arizona three adults and two children attacked by bees.

A young Mexican gray wolf has died of injuries it received near Big Lake, Arizona. It has been determined the wolf had been shot. A reward up ten thousand dollars is being offered by state and federal wildlife angencies.

Rat Island In Alaska got its name when a sea captain in the 1800s noticed the island was infested with rats. In 2008 a decision was made to poison the rats with grain laced with rat killer. It worked and now Native Americans want the island to restore its original name, Hawadax.

2-13- From snow to fires in Arizona in one day: Winter Weather Advisories above five thousand feet posted from eleven a.m. to five p.m. tomorrow in Mohave and Coconino counties. In the southeast part of the state the Hilton fire is 60% contained.

Planes and helicopters fly in tons of emergency food to snowed in villagers in the Balkans. There were blizzards so heavy some people had to cut tunnels through fifteen feet of snow to get out of their homes.
A State of Emergency is declared in Romania where six thousand people have been cut off for days.

2-14- Fifty three degrees plus a seventeen mph wind equals a high of 47 on The Land. The afternoon high was three degrees cooler than the morning low.

“Intense” snow along I-10 in Tucson. 14’’ of snow at the Snow Bowl in Flagstaff. Show Low received 7”.

Allergy season in portions of the U.S. already occurring in the “dead of winter.”

Category 4 cyclone slams Madagascar’s eastern shores today killing one and causing major power outages.

2-15- Six hundred and fifty poor souls are now dead from record breaking cold in eastern Europe since the end of January. In Romania 23,000 remain isolated in 225 communities after a week of heavy snow.

A flight instructor flew his homemade motorized hang glider making forty five minute trips to deliver bread and canned food to folks cut off.

Winter Weather Advisory posted in northern Arizona above 4500’

Six years after Hurricane Katrina all 23,000 FEMA trailers, used for temporary housing, have been removed.

A lioness lunged at the throat of a zoo worker in South Africa and killed him. Apparently security gates were left open.

2-16- Fifty miles of I-40 in Arizona closed due to ice and snow.

Recent rains have improved Texas drought but a fifth of the state remains under exceptional drought status. But the drought spreads in the South East with Georgia being the worst hit.

Ukraine’s death toll from bitter cold climbs to 152 people. “In most cases people died because they were under the influence of alcohol, which increases the chance of hypothermia. 4,000 hospitalized with frost bite.

Wild dogs are killing cattle in New Mexico. One Valencia County rancher says they’ve killed 300 dogs in the past ten months. Dogs have killed 26 cattle at one ranch alone.

2-17- Deadly and violent weather has impacted 240 million Americans, 80% of the U.S. population in the last six years. During this period weather related disasters have been declared by every state except South Carolina.

2-18- U.S. Forest Service researchers say climate change is killing millions of yellow cedar trees in the Alaskan panhandle. These trees can live up to a thousand years with with less snow on the ground in the past century frozen roots are killing the trees. Nearly half a million acres have been affected in Alaska.

The second son of Dutch Queen Beatrix has been injured seriously after being buried by an avalanche. He was skiing of marked trails yesterday in the western corner of Austria.

2-19- Three “expert” skiiers killed in Avalanche in Washington State in the Cascade Mountains. They were swept 1500’ down a chute in the Tunnel Creek Canyon area.

2-20- The South received up to nine inches of snow in areas and electricity knocked out to 52,000. Five to eight inches of snow fell in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Tennessee.

On the Cascades in Washington State a snowboarder died after he triggered an avalanche that pushed him over a cliff. Avalanche Warnings are posted for elevations above 5,000’.

2-21- Survivor of deadly avalanche that claimed three lives in the Cascade Mountains describes it as horror story. One person survived by bear hugging a tree and holding on as snow swept over him. Another skier was saved when she deployed an air bag designed to keep her afloat.

Statistics show that 93% of avalanche victims can be recovered alive if dug out within 15 minutes. After forty five minutes 20-30 percent live. People die because carbon dioxide form their exhaled breath builds up in the snow around their mouth.

2-22- A grass fire north of Williams, Arizona is being battled.

Heavy rain in Washington State washes a home down a river.

Two U.S. helicopters join rescue operations in Montenegro. The heaviest snow fall in 60 years has some villages blocked off by 11.5 feet of snow.

2-27- Winds so strong north of Black Canyon City in Arizona that DPS is watching for rocks blown from hillsides onto the freeway. Wind Advisory from eleven a.m. to eleven p.m. 33mph peak wind gust at The Land, 61mph in Show Low, 51mph in Apache Junction, and 50 mph in Flagstaff.

Avalanche danger is at a high in the West this winter season. Seventeen people have been killed so far this year. Early season snow follow by weeks of dry weather created a grainy unstable base of snow.

California snow pack at only 30% of normal this winter. Already farmers have been told they will get half of what they requested to water their crops.
Parts of Texas have received more rain in the first six weeks of 2012 than all of 2011. A third of the state is under drought compared to 97% last September.

2-28- Snow fell in Flagstaff yesterday, Pinetop had a whiteout with five inches in Greer and fourteen inches at the Arizona Snowbowl.

Sharks are killing California’s endangered sea otters in record numbers. In the late 1990s shark bites accounted for 15% of sea otter deaths. It has risen to a third of otter deaths in the last two years.

2-29- Tornadoes are extremely rare in the winter but a string of them in the Midwest bring 170 mph winds killing twelve folks. Hardest hit was Harrisburg, Illinois where six were killed, one hundred injured and two hundred homes damaged. Twelve were injured when a tornado cut a five mile path through Harveyville, Kansas where 40% of the town is damaged. 17 states had EF4 winds.

Heavy snow and strong winds have moved into California’s Sierra Nevada closing schools and forcing chains on vehicles. Up to five feet of snow may fall.

Debris from the powerful Tsunami last March in Japan have now spread across three thousand miles of the north Pacific with two million tons still in the ocean.

Well, with the terrible tornadoes so early in the year the following song of the month is appropriate, “Shelter From The Storm” by Bob Dylan.

The quote of the month had me amused. “I can’t say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days” by Daniel Boone.

Until next month when you have been “bewildered” for days remember Pioneers took land. Settlers took bullets.

The Honorable, Distinguished, Doctor in quack logy,
The Brilliant Professor MR Blue Duck

January Blue Duck Weather News 2012

January 2012 Weather News!



Happy New Year! January was a very active, if not strange weather month. Little snow for most of the nation, record heat and tornadoes that usually strike in the spring. And yet Alaska has record breaking cold and snow and toward the end of the month Europe was experiencing some of the coldest temperatures on record.

Nome, Alaska froze so quickly you will read the drama as it plays out trying to get fuel to a town with an iced up harbor, a feat never done before by sea vessel this late in the winter.

Now, down here in the sunny West you have read in this fine weather journal about bee attacks on humans and animals, some severely injuring or killing them. It seems they happen in the summer or fall but a good associate and friend of mine almost died last week after being stung over fifty times. He is also very allergic to bee stings. He was moving brush with a bobcat when he disturbed a hive and was stung. He drove himself to the hospital and then collapsed. He actually heard the staff say “we’re losing him”. My friend was unconscious for over four hours. Thankfully he is alive and well today.

In this exciting edition of Blue Duck Weather you will read all of the weather facts and more! A possible explanation of the world wide bee decline, never before seen warming of the U.S. in January, a tree branch in a storm impales a driver, filling a massive lake may cause earth tremors from the weight of the increased water load, Indians so proud they kill themselves when they cannot provide food for their families due to bitter cold, billion dollar weather disasters, a snow prayer ceremony brings results, raining bird shit so bad is disrupts an entire town, the largest rattler ever caught, the first gray wolf seen in California since 1924 and believe it or not, The giant Galapagos tortoise may not be extinct.

In January on The Land and in Phoenix there was no rain. On average we pick up almost three quarters of an inch. We are off to a slow, dry start causing concerns for another active fire season this summer.

The average temperature on The Land was a pleasant 53.37 degrees. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill in New Mexico had an average of 35.50 degrees.

Lake Mead is 57% full, Powell 65%, Pleasant 73% and Roosevelt 66%.

And now all the weather news that fits for misfits and weather geeks around the world!


1-1- Spring like temperatures at The Land with a high of 71 degrees.

Another no burn weekend in Maricopa County. “Maricopa County officials say it is impossible to enforce people from using their fireplaces.” (You think?)

An Arizona man is reunited with his dog that was lost near Butte, Montana for a month. When he stopped his vehicle in Dillon the dog got out of the camper without notice. The pooch wandered rugged terrain, endured freezing temperatures and BB shots and had a lame foot.

The dog was rescued a reunited with his owner from a lost dog ad on Craigslist.

An avalanche kills a 45 year old skier in British Columbia. He was a victim among a group of eleven led by a guide to do some heli-skiing. He was completely buried by snow.

The first gray wolf seen on the California-Oregon border since 1924. A GPS collar was placed on the wolf last February. Since then the wolf has wandered three hundred miles from the location he was collared at.

1-2- The ASU student that became stranded in the snow on December 11th turned on a “road to nowhere” when she became stuck. She took Highway 99, a little used road south of Winslow designed to be a “shortcut” to Highway 260 just west of Heber. The road is paved for forty miles. It then becomes an unpaved forest road.
In 1991 the state of Arizona was considering abandoning the road but it still remains open. The young woman said she left Phoenix with no particular destination. (She was touted for her skills for surviving the snow and cold for ten days but no particular destination tells me she had not a clue what she might be in for.)

Statewide snow pack in Colorado is 73% of average, 97% at the San Francisco Peaks and 202% in the White Mountains. These percentages are important to try and determine how much spring snowmelt will be added to our lakes and reservoirs.

High winds in Boulder, Colorado cause a three foot tree branch to smash through an automobile windshield, impaling the driver in the chest. He was able to steer the car to safety with his wife inside before he died. ( You talk about your time being up.)

First major snowstorm of the winter in the central U.S. with Lake Effect snow and one foot of snow in Michigan. Strong winds with zero visibility close I-75 south of Cincinnati. Slick road conditions case fifty crashes near Indianapolis.

Ten people jump into an icy Utah River to help save three trapped children after the car they were in lost control and ended upside down in the Logan River. The father managed to escape but could not rescue the kids. The people who jumped into the river turned the vehicle upright. One man shot out a window and cut the seat belts with his knife to free the children.

One hundred blackbirds go berserk from fireworks in Beebe, Arkansas and smash into each other and buildings and dying on New Year’s Eve. (Where the fuck is PETA?)

1-3- Lake Effect snow and wind batter the Northeast and showers are as far south as Atlanta. Winter Weather Advisories posted for areas downwind of Lake Erie and Ontario throughout the night.

Winds over 100 mph kill two in Britain with 102 mph winds reported in Scotland. Train service and ferry traffic cancelled.

1-4- Record lows reported in Florida.

Flagstaff warms up to 68 degrees and the snow pack is melting rapidly at the Snow Bowl. The average temperature is 42 degrees.

California snow pack survey shows water content so far this year at only 19%.

A bus in southern China loses control on a snow covered bridge and plunges into a valley thirty feet below. 16 people killed.
1-5- Record high temperatures in the Dakotas with 55 degrees in Bismark, 32 degrees above normal.

98% of the United States is above 32 degrees, never before heard of. 118 high temperature records broken.

1-6- Record breaking temperatures in the Midwest today will be moving northeast. Minot, North Dakota, an all time record of 61 degrees, Des Moines, 65 degrees, Rapid City, 73 degrees, International Falls 46 degrees and St. Louis 66 degrees.

A dog, thought to be dead in an avalanche in Montana, has shown up at a Montana motel where is owner had checked in four days prior. His master was killed by the avalanche.

1-7- Arizona wildfire risks will rise this spring in warm and dry conditions persist and we may have a repeat of 2011.

The National Weather Service has officially declared last year as the driest on record in Texas. 500 million trees have died.

A Russian tanker is heading for Nome, Alaska cut off from the rest of the world by sea ice. The tanker is carrying 1.1 million gallons of diesel and 300,00 gallons of unleaded gasoline. Fuel in Nome is nearly nine dollars per gallon.

1-8- Eleven inches of snow fell in Show Low and four inches at the Snow Bowl in eastern and northern Arizona. And yet it was sunny and warm down here in the desolate desert.

Three days of snow with three feet of accumulation in parts of the Swiss Alps. Extreme Avalanche Warnings are posted.

Scientists may have found a reason for the mysterious world wide honey bee die off occurring over the last several years. A parasitic fly deposits eggs into the bee’s abdomens that causes the bees to leave hives at night and die.

1-9- As Lake Mead continues to rise a series of small tremors have been measured in the last year. The lake now has 4.8 million acre feet of water more than it did in 2010. It is only theory buy many seismologists believe that when Lake Mead originally filled in the 1930s the added weight of the water led to a series of tremors.

Near Missoula, Montana a bus on icy I-90 crashes head on with another vehicle. Two folks are dead and eight in serious or critical condition.

Heavy rains, flooding and an unconfirmed tornado strikes the Houstan area. The Mall of the Mainland in Texas City closes due to structural damage from the winds. Five inches of rain prompt Flood Warnings.

The tiny town of Cordova, Alaska is asking for state help to dig out of massive snow levels that have collapsed roofs, triggered avalanches and trapping some people in their homes. The Prince William Sound community has no road access to the town. Fifty National Guard members were on their way yesterday to help folks dig out. Snow is higher than some home’s doors.

1-10- Want snow, head for the southern U.S. Midland, Texas has received twenty inches so far this winter with half falling yesterday. A daily snow record was set yesterday for the city. Midland has had more snow than most northern U.S. cities this winter.

Most of Alaska is under Winter Advisories with 60 mph winds recorded in Homer. A main highway (and there ain’t many in Alaska) is cut off outside Anchorage to the Kenai Peninsula.

Eight are dead and twenty missing from mudslides in Brazil.

A few survivors of the giant Galapagos tortoise, thought to be extinct in the 1840s,may still exist on a island in the Pacific. DNA testing was performed on 1600 and 84 were direct offspring.

1-11- From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports that yesterday was a warm 63 degrees (almost the same temperature on The Land.) This afternoon, with the wind chill, it is 5 degrees.

Since November 1st, Cordova, Alaska has received fifteen feet of snow and forty four inches of rain adding to the hardened snow pack. Avalanche conditions are extreme with strong wind gusts and white out conditions. School children have missed twenty five days due to the snow.

A fuel tanker and a U.S. Coast Guard icebreaker trying to make it to Nome, Alaska are stuck in sea ice. Aerial teams, and a drone, are scouting the safest passage. They are ninety seven miles away, and if they make it to Nome, it will be the first time ever a fuel tanker reaches a western Alaskan town cut off by sea ice. (Now, I know it is not spring but the song “When it’s Springtime in Alaska it’s Forty Below” by Johnny Horton sure comes to mind.)

1-12- “The worst winter anyone can remember in Alaska has piled snow so high people can’t see out the windows of their homes.” Valdez has had twenty six feet of snow since November. Anchorage has had 81.6’’, breaking a record of 77.3’’ set in 1993-94.

The first winter blast hits with parts of Connecticut having the first snow since October. Chicago cancels 425 flights today due to snow. For Illinois, today marked the first significant snow in eleven months.

A tornado tears through towns in North Carolina injuring 15, destroying 9 homes with 47 damaged.

South African rangers find eight poached rhinos in one day, dead and stripped of their horns. 448 were poached last year, a new record.

1-13- The Arizona Game & Fish Department is offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of a deer poached December 30th near Fort Huachuca. The buck was shot and beheaded, with the body left to waste.
Two suspects are wanted for questioning, both white males wearing camo. They were described as six feet tall with slim, athletic builds. One had a dark beard and both carried scoped rifles.

1-14- The bitter freeze last February in the Arizona deserts have killed off older saguaro cacti, notably in Tucson’s Saguaro National Park. Temperatures then were in the low teens for several days in a row.

Thirty one inches of Lake Effect snow falls in Buffalo, New York.
Seven inches of snow in Massachusetts with 30mph winds.

The Russian tanker carrying 1.3 million gallons of fuel for Nome has gone as far as it can. Nome’s harbor is iced up and the fuel transfer will have to be done with a mile long hose. Spilling fuel is a major concern.

Winter Weather Advisories issued above 6500’ in Arizona until noon tomorrow.

1-15- Winter Weather Advisory extended for northern Arizona until noon tomorrow.

1-16- Thirteen inches of snow at Sunrise, Arizona. No measurable rain in Phoenix and none so far this year. Normal rainfall for this date is .49’’.

1-17- Seattle, Washington could get six inches of snow tonight. Their average total for an entire year is 5.9”

Fuel is being pumped by two parallel hoses, seven hundred yards long each, from the Russian tanker to Nome. Without the fuel Nome would be out completely by March or April, long before the next barge delivery in unfrozen waters possible.

A sixty six year old snowshoer missing on Mount Rainer for three days has been found alive by three rescuers. The man was alert, conscious and in stable condition. He said he used fire starters to burn leaves and eventually his extra socks and paper money. Rescuers were working to bring in a Snow Cat vehicle to transport him out of the area since severe weather prevented a helicopter from landing.

Mexicans are rushing aid to communities in the remote northern mountains in Mexico. “Dozens of Indians had killed themselves because they couldn’t feed their families due to severe cold weather.” (Desparation, pride or both?)

1-18- 4.2’’ of snow in Seattle, 13’’ in Olympia and 20’’Rochester, Washington. Schools are closed.

30,000 people are without power in the Portland, Oregon area as a powerful snow storm turns into rain. Wind gusts of 100mph reported.

“Powerful spring like” storm sets off tornadoes in Indiana, Kentucky and Mississippi.
1-19- Ice closes Seattle airport and 200,000 are without power due to downed power lines from fallen trees and ice. A State of Emergency is declared by the governor.

Two adults and their young children drive into a rain swollen creek in Albany, Oregon. The man and his five year old son were able to get out. The body of a twenty month old child was found later but mom is missing and presumed dead. The car has not been found.

100 mph winds stop search for overdue hikers and climbers on Mount Rainier in Washington. They are experienced but four days overdue.

The fuel transfer in Nome is complete and successful without any oil spills.

Two more billion dollar disasters added to the record set in 2011; Tropical storm Lee and severe weather in the Midwest and the Rockies in July. The total is now 14 with losses at 55 billion dollars. The previous record was set in 2008 with nine over a billion dollars.

1-20- The snow storm approaching Chicago is thought to be large enough that sixty garbage trucks have been converted to snow plows.

First rain in San Francisco in two months.

2011 was the warmest on record for Spain and Norway. The average global temperature was 57.9 degrees, a bit cooler than last year.

1-21- Wind gusts up to 70mph in northern Arizona.

Fourteen counties in South Carolina are under Tornado Watches.

Eight inches of snow in Chicago with the cancellation of 700 flights. As the storm moves quickly through the North East it is only the second time since Ocotober significant snow has occurred.

The driest winter in Reno, Nevada in 120 years and a fast moving wildfire destroys 29 homes and 10,000 are evacuated. The fire was accidently caused by an elderly man who “improperly discarded fireplace ashes.” He reported the cause and is extremely remorseful. No charges are planned to be filed.
Scientists in Indonesia have discovered a large gray monkey so rare many believed it to be extinct. The Miller’s Grizzland Langur has been found in an area far from its previously recorded home range.

1-22- Two inches of rain in Reno brings flash flood concerns in the 3200 acre fire zone that was fully contained yesterday.

1-23- A tornado with winds recorded at 150 mph has killed two and injured one hundred in Alabama. This type of storm is rarely seen in January. It reached from the Great Lakes to the Gulf of Mexico.

Winter Weather Advisory issued for the Grand Canyon to the White Mountains in Arizona above five thousand feet.

Lake Tahoe finally receives snow, one two two feet since last week. The snow pack there has only been 25% of normal for this date.
The storm came a week after a group of Paiute, Shoshone and Washoe tribal members performed a ceremony seeking spiritual help for snow.

1-24- Six inches of snow at the Grand Canyon.

One snowmobiler dead and his brother rescued in a snow cave in a Colorado avalanche.

“Space hurricane” from solar flares are sweeping over our planet causing some flights to be rerouted. This is the biggest flareup since 2003.

1-25- No rain at all in Phoenix so far this year and .71’’ below normal.

Spring like moisture dumps a record of 6.8’’ of rain on Austin and 30,000 without power in San Antonio. An unconfirmed tornado also reported.

Forty dead and twenty missing from a landlside on the South Pacific island of New Guinea.

1-26- Up to ten feet of snow falls in eastern and central Europe. 340 people rescued from stranded vehicles and 1300 given temporary shelter. Overnight temperatures sixteen degrees below zero.

Severe flooding and landslides kill six people in Fiji.

1-27- In northern Kentucky there has been a plague of several hundred thousand European Starlings every evening since Thanksgiving. The birds are shitting everywhere and people cannot go outside without umbrellas.

1-28- 49mph wind gusts in Bullhead City, Arizona.

The American Prairie Foundation in northern Montana receives seventy one bison calves from Canada. Their intent is to rebuild the herd and with the new calves the herd will number 216. The nine month old calves will be held in isolation for a month before being released into the main herd.

1-29- A twenty four year old snow boarder has died after becoming trapped in an avalanche in steep Utah backcountry. It is the 9th avalanche fatality in the West this season. His body was found using avalanche beacons.

Scientists investigate 77 dolphin deaths beached on Cape Cod. Whether they got lost or sick is a mystery.

1-30- Fort Yukon, Alaska has ranged from fifty below zero to sixty two below zero in the last three days. There have only been three other years when it has been this cold in the history of weather keeping. The average temperature for January in Anchorage has been 2.7 degrees, well below the average of 15 degrees. ( Timely after just seeing the movie “The Grey.”)

Drought forces Texas cattle ranchers to drive cattle north to Nebraska. 250,000 head moved there in the past year.

“Junary” where temperatures are in June in many places. Nine tenths of the country is above average. Fifty high temperature records have fallen from Colorado to Kansas.

At four a.m. yesterday morning fog and smoke caused a freeway pile up on I-75 in Floriday that killed ten folks and injured eighteen. The crash was so bad the NSTB was called in and they are usually only used for airline crashes. The smoke from the wildfire is suspected to be arson.

1-31- Temperatures in the Northeast and Great Lakes regions are in the 50’s and 60’s, twenty degrees above normal. There is speculation this may be the warmest January on record.

Forty eight folks have died from extreme cold across central and eastern Europe. In Kiev, Ukraine temperatures dropped to ten below zero.

An ever increasing population of huge pythons, many of them discarded pets, are wiping out large numbers of mammals in the Florida Everglades. Raccoons, Oppossums and bobcats are among them.

And this nightmare contribution from the Lovely Mrs. Blueduck: A fifteen foot eastern Diamonback rattlesnake, the largest on record ever, has been caught in a new home subdivision near St. Augustine, Florida. It weighed 170 pounds with a head the size of a human. It has a five foot, six inch striking distance.

A good friend of mine was stung over fifty times last week by bees and is highly allergic to them. He was moving a pile of debris in his yard when he disturbed the nest. He was able to drive himself to the hospital but blacked out when he got there. He had to be revived several times and almost died. He could hear the hospital staff say “we’re losing him”. Day to day shit doesn’t seem all that important to him right now. He is so grateful to be alive. Although scary, his account of dying and coming back to life was inspirational to me.

With that happy ending we will leave you with the inspirational gospel standard song for the month. “One fine morning when this life is over I’ll fly away.” I think of that line many times but the very next song that comes to mind is “The Crystal Ship” by the Doors. I know I am sick and need help, but so does this weather journal.

Until next month when bees are knocking at your mortality remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.

The Honorable, Distinguished, Somewhat twisted, Professor MR Blue Duck.

December Blue Duck Weather 2011

December 2011 Weather News!



For the first two weeks in December the West dominated the weather news, including Arizona. You will read about two remarkable snow survivals right in Arizona.
Unfortunately the deadliest weather in the world for the month happened in the Philippines by massive flooding and drowning of folks who had little warning to escape.

Also in this fine edition (as always) of Blue Duck Weather News you will read where 150mph winds occurred in the United States, rare shifts in the California Santa Anna winds cause pure hell, dog shoots his master duck hunter in the ass, man that survives on his trek to the wilderness on frozen beer, new record set this year for billion dollar weather disasters, mass suicide or crash landing of thousands of birds, a Russian team that will attempt to conquer the second highest peak in the world in the winter (a feat that has never been done), a contribution from DarrDuck that will show you the strange phenomenon of “Kelvin-Hemholtz” waves and the “South Pole Christmas miracle.”

But first let us get into the boring statistics recorded at the Blue Duck Weather station. December was a “cold” month for desert standards. Most high temperatures never reached 60 degrees, there was a week and a half of rain, clouds, fog and mud. There were also a number of freezing temperatures with lows bottoming out at 29 degrees. (I will take that compared to 14 degrees last February.)

The average temperature at The Land was 47.88 degrees. The average temperature at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 29.58 degrees.

Rainfall for the month at the Land was a respectable .74’’ but the year only finished at 4.92’’. Phoenix received “officially” 4.61’’.

Lake levels in and around the state, the ones that matter to our agriculture, survival and toilet flushing are as follows: Lake Mead is 56% full, Pleasant 65%, the mighty Powell 67% and Roosevelt 65%.

12-1- Eight inches of snow fell at the Snow Bowl in northern Arizona, five inches in Flagstaff and Prescott with two inches on the ground. Winter storm warnings are still in effect and I-40 is closed near Williams.

The high today at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill was 59 degrees at an elevation of 7400’.

The high at The Land, elevation 1100’ was 58 degrees.

A rare change in wind patterns is driving the Santa Anna winds in southern California east. Wind gusts up to 100 mph in southern California, 102 mph in Utah. Six tractor trailers blown over below the Cajon Pass in San Bernardino City. Pasadena schools are closed and 300,000 thousand without power.

Brush fires and emergency response calls every twelve seconds! Los Angeles Airport is closed. As these winds move east High Wind Warning issued for six states.

From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports at 3:30 p.m. twenty degrees and five inches of snow on the ground.

12-2- Flagstaff, Arizona schools close due to the snow and Show Low has two feet on the ground.

A thirty seven degree low on The Land with a dew point of 37 degrees and humidity of 93% caused dense fog even though there was little rain the night before.

At Mammoth Mountain in California 150mph winds were recorded. The wind instrument does not record anything higher than that!

200,000 homes still without power in Southern California. Pasadena was the heaviest hit with 40 buildings “red tagged” as being uninhabitable.

A fifty car pile up in fog and icy road conditions leave one dead in Hendersonville, Tennessee.

Biologists have found an extremely rare albino dolphin off the coast of South America.

A dog in a boat with his “Master” shoots him in the ass with a shotgun. The gun was on the bow, the safety off, when the dog got excited while hunting ducks. The dog set off the gun with his paw.

12-3- Snow level drops to 4,000 feet in Arizona with snow in Oracle. I- 40 closed and hail reported in Gilbert.

One hundred thousand still without power in Southern California from hurricane force winds two days ago.

A respected wildlife biologist was a casualty form the high winds in Big Sur when a tree blew over and killed him instantly.

Arizona Game & Fish officials have verified a highly probable ocelot sighting in Cochise County. Photos of the sighting were provided by a homeowner yesterday. Verification included paw prints at the scene.

The Southern Arizona Cattlemen’s Protective Association is offering a reward for information about the killing and partial butchering of a cow on a ranch in Green Valley, Arizona. The beast was shot at least once and its front quarters removed.

12-4- First freeze temperature of the season on The Land at 32 degrees along with heavy fog. There is a Freeze Warning issued for Pinal County tomorrow morning.

Six days ago in a man in Nome, Alaska set out on a cruise in his 1990 Toyota Nacoma to see how far a road would take him. Forty miles north of town his truck plunged into a snow drift. He was wearing tennis shoes, jeans and a light jacket. The man had few supplies with no food or water.

His cell phone wouldn’t work and he knew he was in deep shit. He put on a fleece sleeping bag liner he had in the truck and wrapped a towel around his feet. Occasionally he started the truck to run the heater and listen to the radio. The temperature dropped to seventeen below zero by the second night of his ordeal.
He said the cold was more painful than the hunger but he found a few cans of Coors Light in the cab that were frozen. (He probably had more than a few before he went on his run with no provisions in Nome!) He cut the lids of the beers like you would a can of beans with a knife and ate the frozen contents.

He was rescued alive on the third day of his ordeal. Later he said he lost sixteen pounds in three days!

Earlier this year your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather reported about the small utility company that serves Maricopa and surrounding areas. They had the unmitigated balls to shut the power off for nonpaying customers last February when temperatures dropped into the teens. They were criticized by the Corporation Commission for shutting down power in a threat to life situation.

Today the utility company announced they are establishing an assistance fund based on customer and community member donations. Not a word about what they will donate or set aside to contribute to the fund!

12-5- Morning snow at an elevation of 2500’ in the north valley including Fountain Hills, Carefree and parts of North Scottsdale. (For the first time in thirty five years I had a subcontractor pull off of a job because of snow. He said there were flurries lasting forty five minutes and snow sticking on the ground.)
U.S. 60 closed between Superior and Globe due to snow.

Sun Rise Ski Resort in the White Mountains opens in three days with 26’’ of snow.

64mph Santa Anna winds in Santa Barbara, California.

Now Arizona Game & Fish are discounting the ocelot sighting in Cochise County. “Ocelot experts” studied the photos and determined that some markings were not consistent with an ocelot. They believe it was a serval, an African cat popular in the pet trade business.

A Bald eagle carcass was found in a paper bag with rocks on it by a hiker near Tucson on November 21st. Arizona Game & Fish has offered a five hundred dollar reward for information leading to the arrest of the killer.

Because of the drought in Texas thousands of horses have been abandoned by owners due to the ever increasing cost of hay and feed. Twenty to forty calls a week about horses along the side of the road. Abandoning horses is against the law in Texas.

12-6- Eleven degrees below zero in Greer, Arizona this morning.
I-10 closed in the entire state of New Mexico from Arizona to Texas from wind and snow.

Officially the north Valley received one half inch of snow yesterday morning.

Los Angeles is asking state and federal governments to declare the region a disaster area after last week’s brutal wind storms. 15,000 are still without power.

Five months later two remaining bodies have been found and recovered after being swept over the Merced River fall in Yosemite last July.

12-7- Twenty five degree low on The Land this morning.

Snowstorms cause traffic jams and vehicle crashes from Amarillo to Austin, Texas yesterday. Today it hits Tennessee and moving up the coast with heavy rain.

“America smashed the record for billion dollar weather disaster with a deadly dozen and counting.” There were more weather catastrophes that caused the dollar amount than it did in all of the eighties even with figures adjusted for inflation. Extreme weather this year killed over a thousand folks.

“Scientists blame an unlucky combination of global warming and freak chance. The six large outbreaks of tornadoes can’t be attributed to global warming.”

In Pima County, Arizona a woman is sentenced to 10 hours of community service for unlawfully feeding javelina. She was cited after repeated requests by Arizona Game & Fish officials to stop. A state law makes it illegal to feed wildlife in Pima and Maricopa counties, other than birds and tree squirrels.

12-8- An elderly New Mexico couple left Chandler, Arizona last week to head home on U.S. 60. They made a wrong turn and ended up on a forest road before their transmission went out. Snow storms moved into the region and the couple survived in the car until two days ago when the vehicle ran out of gas and no longer provided heat. The two left on foot and the woman died shortly after. After trying to revive his wife the man stuck to the road leaving markers behind him so his wife could be found. He walked until evening and then took shelter under a tree. Yesterday he continued on and was located by a Game & Fish officer. The man is doing well in a Globe hospital. ( What a tough man in his eighties. I sure feel bad for his wife of sixty years but this man had a whole lot of luck and some survival skills, mentally and physically. A tendency to give up all hope after losing your spouse in the cold lonely woods shock most people literally to death.)

Schools closed in western and southern parts of Tennessee after four inches of snow fell yesterday.

Wind gusts up to 100 mph in Scotland. A wind speed of 151 mph recorded on a summit in Aberdeenshire. Many schools and major bridges closed.

A hillside loosened by heavy rains collapses on a bus killing six near Bogota, Columbia. 3500 homes flooded with water up to five feet deep. Rains since September have caused 140 deaths.

12- 11- North east states, due to budget cuts, will eliminate heating aid to the poor.

“We have a lot of terrified people who can’t see how they are going to survive.”

12-12- Winter Storm Warning for northwest Arizona above 5500’ to the White Mountains until 12-14. Six inches of snow has already accumulated in the higher elevations of Gila County.

12-13- Flagstaff schools closed with thirteen inches of snow in the last twenty four hours. 1.81 inches of rain recorded in Queen Creek, Arizona.

The most recent mudslide in Colombia has killed a child and fifteen are missing.

12-14- 17.6” of snow in Flagstaff, 33’’ at Forest Lakes and 9’’ in Prescott. The most rain was recorded in Apache Junction at 2.20’’.

A five mile stretch of the Hunt Highway was closed this morning in the San Tan Valley due to a six foot by ten foot sink hole in the road caused by heavy rain.

The biggest wave ever recorded off Ireland yesterday at sixty seven feet high.

Near St. George, Utah thousands of birds died on impact after mistaking a Walmart parking lot for a body of water. Two thousand surviving birds were rescued and released. Storm clouds over the top of city lights made the parking lot look like a nice, flat body of water to the birds.

12-15- Dense Fog Advisory issued for entire southern Arizona this morning south to the Mexican border and west to Dateland, California. It was so humid at The Land it registered as .01’’ of rain.

Warm temperatures in the Northeast have delayed many ski resort openings. Most are usually opened by Thanksgiving. As of yesterday 16 of New England’s 52 ski resorts were open.

12-16- The Snow Bowl in Flagstaff and Ski Valley on Mount Lemon in Tucson have enough hard pack snow to officially open today. Tomorrow the snow level is expected to drop to six thousand feet.

Near Lorient, France, high winds completely beach a cargo ship and 220 tons of fuel is leaking, threatening the beach.

Swiss airports canceled and diverted flights as a winter storm delivered 93mph winds and heavy snowfall. A severe avalanche warning is issued for the Swiss Alps.

Russian authorities are trying to rescue 100 endangered beluga whales trapped in the midst of large chunks of polar ice in the Bering Sea.

12-17- Twelve hours of nonstop rain in the southern Philippines have killed 436 people due to Tropical Storm Washi. Entire villages were swept to sea as a wall of water drowned many as they were asleep in their beds.

A team of fifteen Russians are attempting to climb to the top of K2, the world’s second highest peak, in the winter. This has never been accomplished before. The mountain range straddles Pakistan and China. The temperatures in the winter can be forty below zero with winds of 40mph.

The team will begin their ascent around Christmas, will not be carrying oxygen tanks and will have porters at base camp only. Their gear and food, including three fresh slaughtered yaks and a “little vodka” is being flown by Pakistani army helicopters charging 7,000 dollars per hour.

12-18- Winter Weather Advisory issued through tomorrow night in northern Arizona.

A Blizzard Warning has been issued for parts of Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas.

A Blizzard Warning is defined as life threatening winter weather conditions are likely including wind gusts of 35mph and visibility less than a quarter of a mile.

“Typhoon Washi leaves 1400 dead or missing in Philippines. Flood washed away entire houses with families inside……”

12-19- Blizzard Warnings issued for seven states from New Mexico to Kansas.

Funeral parlors are overwhelmed in the southern Philippines from the death toll due to Typhoon Washi and officials organize the first mass burial of 700. They also say 80 are missing but the Red Cross estimates 800.

12-20- Forty one degrees plus ninety two percent humidity and a forty degree dew point at The Land produced enough moisture to record as .01” of rain. Hell, we’ll take what we can!

Six killed in deadly storm throughout the Great Plains. Snow drifts up to ten feet in southeast Colorado. Drifts five feet high on I-25, the main route between Santa Fe, New Mexico and Colorado. The interstate was closed. Ten inches of snow fell in western Kansas and in Amarillo, Texas rain and snow are a welcome sight with the prevailing drought.

Philippines typhoon death toll up to 957 with 49 missing. 38,000 people there are affected.

12-21- Winter begins in Arizona at 10:30 p.m. With this being the shortest day of the year there is 9.56 hours of sunlight.

From his secluded remote location in Colorado RyDuck reports that the chance for snow is 100%. The high temperature for tomorrow is forecasted to be 15 degrees at seven thirty in the morning. From there it will only drop.

This month we have an amazing DarrDuck contribution, one I have never heard of: A series of huge breaking “wave clouds” lined the horizon in Birmingham, Alabama on December 16th. Amazed, people took photos and sent them to a local weather station asking “What are these tsunamis in the sky?” The clouds are examples of “Kelvin-Helmholtz waves.” Whether in the sky or ocean, this type of turbulence always forms when fast moving layers of fluid slides on top of a slower thicker layer, dragging its surface.


12-22- An A.S.U. student has been rescued after being trapped for more than a week in a remote area south of Winslow, Arizona. She got stuck in the snow in her vehicle. The young woman had two candy bars and melted snow in a water bottle in the sun. Survival experts say she did everything “right” to stay alive.

Rescuers yesterday pulled a family of three from a car that had been buried in a snow drift for two days on a rural New Mexico Highway. They had to dig through four feet of ice and snow to rescue them. State police said they had received a distress call and launched a search two days ago. Both parents had pneumonia but the young child was fine.

A fifty one degree high at The Land with a 9mph wind left a wind chill of 46 degrees.

12-23- Drivers are warned of snowy conditions on I-10 near Wilcox, Arizona. (I’ve driven that stretch many times on my way to the beloved Mount Graham.)

Unconfirmed tornadoes injure seven in northern Georgia. Reported major structural damage to homes and 19,000 without power.

70 mph winds recorded at Warm Springs in the Angeles National Forest in California.

Twelve inches of snow in western New Mexico and blizzard conditions exist in other parts of the state. Every ski resort in New Mexico is open.

Snow welcomed in west Texas due to the prolonged drought.

Denver International Airport cancels flights due to heavy snow.

12-24. Bah Humbug! Maricopa County declares no burn days for Christmas weekend. (At least Santa won’t burn his ass coming down the chimney unless it is my house!)

12-26- “Flagstaff has notified the state that it has secured the needed water resources to accommodate demand and growth for the next one hundred years.” In part they have reached an agreement with the Navajo tribe to import as much as seven million gallons of water per day from the aquifer under the Red Gap Ranch forty miles away.

North Texas experienced a rare white Christmas especially with the severe drought conditions that have plagued the area the past year.

The death toll from the Philippines flood is up to 1236. Bodies have been found in the sea more than 60 miles from the worst hit areas. Officials have stopped counting the missing. 60,000 homeless for Christmas.

12-27- Despite issuing no burn days in Maricopa County over the Christmas weekend the county exceeded federal health standards for small dust pollution. Officials claim wood burning fireplaces were likely the primary cause of the pollution.

Ninety dead because of the cold in India that folks are not accustomed to. Forty degrees may seem mild by some standards but most of the dead were the homeless and the elderly.

12-29- Drought and bark beetles devastate New Mexico forests. The tree mortality rate is up 140 percent this year, especially in southern New Mexico.

Lack of snow this year is a big problem for ski resorts nationwide. The largest resort, Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine, had hardly any snow fall this month.

Wind gusts up to 50 mph force long flight delays at two major airports in NYC.

12-30- Dense fog or smoke may have caused a predawn pileup on I-10 in New Orleans that left two dead and sixty one injured. Twenty five were taken to the hospital.

Wind gusts up to 70mph in Denver.
Vermont reopens the last highway damaged by Hurricane Irene four months ago.

Eleven killed as Cyclone Thane strikes southeast India with 85mph winds and heavy rain. All deaths were caused by walls collapsing or electrocution.

12-31- Warmest day all month at The Land with a high of 73 degrees! There are actually patches of green grass growing on the desert. (Eat your heart out, you miserable snow and cold bound people in other parts of the world. This is why the deserts of Arizona are the dumping grounds for folks wanting a little paradise in the winter.)

Arizona Game and Fish is offering a one thousand dollar reward for information leading to the slaughter of five javelina, left to rot, near Pima on or about December 15th. A sow, boar and three piglets were found shot to death.

Warm weather and heavy, wet snow are creating avalanche conditions in western Canada. A backcountry skier was killed yesterday. He was injured two days ago but an air rescue was impossible because of night approaching.

With another calendar year of weather reporting, along with some misfits to keep you amused, your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather has made every attempt to keep you informed, updated and aware of new weather records on this ever changing planet. Some say the weather is getting more severe around the world due to climate change. Your Editor in Chief will only present you the facts, the conclusions are up to you. With that said we will leave you with the song of the month by Tony Joe White, “Run For Cover.”

Until next year remember Settlers took land. Pioneers took bullets.

The Distinguished, Honorable, Baffled, Full of Shit, MR Blue Duck.