July 2012 Weather News!

“There is no shortage of water in the desert but exactly the right amount, a perfect ratio of water to rock, of water to sand, insuring that wide, free, open, generous spacing among plants and animals…. There is no lack of water here, unless you try to establish a city where no city should be.”
Edward Abbey

And then when it does rain in the desert and in the city it comes down hard and fast. And with cities “stupid motorist” rules have to be made up as if to keep people from driving into flooded washes and having to be rescued (if they are lucky).Sadly you will read some did not make it through flooded washes alive. And people decide to build “master planned” communities in the desert and wonder after four inches of rain in an hour while their community looks like a bomb went off with flooding, ruined homes, walls and trees knocked over and a stinking mess of carpet and damaged goods. The first thing they want to do is sue someone; planners, developers, builders, inspectors and I guess even God. Accept your choice and your fate.


This exciting issue of Blue Duck Weather is jammed packed with all the news that does and does not fit. Cigarettes, lightning, trains and guns blamed for wildfires, two fires in the steep and rugged canyons near my sanctuary, Riggs Lake on Mount Graham, arrest made in the aftermath of the Sunflower Fire in Arizona last month, another hiker lost in the Superstition Mountains and his fate, the coolest Fourth of July in the Arizona desert in one hundred years, a landslide so massive it registers as an earthquake in Alaska, the worst drought in the Heartland in one hundred years, a Bobcat breaks into a prison, Fishing on the Kenai River in Alaska suspended, a man dressed in a goat’s suit wandering amongst wild goats (we don’t make this shit up), a woman killed by lightning on her due date, animal suicide?, a whale advisory, “if you are halfway through with your water you are halfway through with your hike”, confirmed tornado at 11,900 feet in Colorado! And so much more.

The Land had flash flooding of its own and a very impressive amount of rain for the month, 2.29’’is more than we have received all year! To date Phoenix has had 1.32’’ of rain.

The average temperature at the Land was 92 degrees, fucking hot. But we only had one day that the average was a miserable 100 degrees and the end of the month actually finished 9 degrees cooler than the beginning. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill had an average temperature of 67.14 degrees.

Roosevelt Lake worries me at 53% capacity. At the beginning of the year it was nearly 100% full. Pleasant is 69% full, Mead is 50% and the Mighty Powell at 62%.

7-1- The Grapevine Fire near Safford, Arizona caused by lightning has burned 4800 acres.

Highway 87 closed near Winslow, Arizona from the Canyon Wildfire. Lightning caused it has burned 5,000 acres.

Denver, Colorado had its hottest June on record. The average temperature was 75 degrees, 7.6 degrees above normal.

The Eastern U.S. continues to bake and power outages from recent storms could last for days. People are throwing out spoiled food by the tons. There are 23 states with temperatures above one hundred degrees.

“Experts are investigating the deaths of 15 cattle in Central Texas that had grazed on toxic grass this past spring.” It is the first documented case of cyanide poisoning linked to a common Bermuda grass hybrid found in grazing lands across Texas. The problem appears to be isolated.

7-2- A search is on for a missing hiker in the Superstition Mountains in Arizona. An avid hiker who knew the area well set out for a four hour hike with one gallon of water. (Editor’s Note: What is the lure of this vast wilderness? It looks so peaceful and serene from any vantage point in the east valley. But it is hot and formidable. One rescuer said it best. “It will claim you every time if you are not prepared, especially during the summer.” Time and time again we read of lost souls in this mysterious mountain range. Unlike the heavily used and marked trails of local parks and mountains such as South Mountain and Camelback Mountain enter the “Sups” at your own risk. And as the Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck has advised me many times don’t do it alone.)

The Canyon Fire near the Jack’s Canyon area near Highway 87 in Arizona has grown to 5,000 acres overnight.

The Grapevine Fire near Safford has grown to 8,000 acres.

Twenty two dead and 1.9 million still without power in the East after the fierce storm three days ago. Hurricane Katrina affected three million people. This one, five million.

7-3- The search is still on for the missing hiker in the Superstition Mountains with horses, dogs and a Pinal County helicopter. Search called off at one p.m. due to heat and high humidity.

50 mph winds and a half inch of rain from Wilcox to Safford, Arizona.

A man is arrested for starting the 18,000 acre Sunflower Fire near Payson, Arizona last month. According to authorities he fired an incendiary shotgun shell into dry grass that ignited the blaze.

7-4- Simply amazing and so unpredicted! At ten thirty this morning on The Land is was 71 degrees and .30’’ of rain fell. Cloudy and cool all day it never got over 78 degrees with a .54” of rain. It felt like one my camping trips when you are rained out and do nothing but set around, tinker and smell the wet beauty of the Land. Later I found out it was the coolest Fourth of July in 100 years.

Arizona City didn’t get off so easy. Major street and house flooding with twelve to sixteen inches of water. 1.57’’ of rain fell. And in Tucson a funnel cloud was reported today.

Parts of Montana and Wyoming reached 100 degrees today.

“Just like 1778”. No electricity or fireworks for million in the East. Ten states still have not electricity from storms 5 days ago.

A hippo in Nigeria has been shot to death after killing two people.

7-5- So much moisture in the air there was fog this morning on The Land and it registered as .01’’ of rain. Yesterday there was four inches of rain in portions of Pinal County and 3.44” of rain in Pima County. In that county the rain fell so hard and fast passengers abandoned a pickup that water had carried into a wash.

The missing hiker in the Superstitions still has not been found.

Drought affects 56% of the U.S. and a toll is being taken on food supplies. 22% of corn and soybean crops in poor condition and 43% of nation’s pastures and grasslands.

It is so hot in Chicago heat buckles pavement and three heat related deaths.

7-6- Two fires in the Coronado National Forest are being monitored with “minimal resources.” Crews have set up a perimeter around the Pinnacle and Trap Peak Fires. Both are burning in rugged canyons near RIGGS LAKE! (Please don’t burn down my church.) 400 acres have burned with 40% containment.

The poor soul missing in the Superstition Mountains has been found dead five days after he set out for his hike. Authorities believe he died the same day he left.

A storm in Tennessee has killed four people, tossing boats and tipping over trailers at a campground with 70mph winds. A child and grandmother died when their pontoon boat capsized on Chattanooga Lake. One man was killed in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park when his motorcycle was hit by a tree limb. A woman was crushed to death by a falling tree.

Forty-three deaths have occurred from the heat wave in the last two weeks in the Mid West. Following last week’s storms 406,000 people still without power in West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland and Ohio.

7-7- The Beeline Highway and 87 are closed due to a new brush fire in Arizona.

An outbreak of golden algae has killed thousands of fish this week in a twenty mile stretch of the Salt River in Arizona. The reported area is east of Roosevelt Lake to Horseshoe Bend.

Dispatch recording indicate that Clorado’s deadly Waldo Canyon Fire started near a popular hiking trail west of Colorado Springs.

Forty three deaths tied to the heat wave in last two weeks in the Mid West following last week’s storms. 406,000 still without power in West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland and Ohio.

Smoke from the wildfires in the West have blown to the East Coast causing “code orange” air quality alerts in Maryland.

High temperatures have killed ten thousand bluegill in a lake in Knoxville, Tennessee. “It’s really putrid” one resident says.
Across South Dakota fishermen have reported thousands of fish kills in various lakes and rivers.

One lake in Delaware has six thousand dead gizzard shad and six hundred perch.

One hundred and thirty four dead and thousands of homes flooded after torrential rains, landslides and a wave of water twenty feet high hit southern Russia. Two months of rain in twenty four hours.

Five hundred dead trees need to be cut down in Texas due to drought and beetle infestation.

Swimming ban at Cape Cod as the Great White sharks return chasing gray seals.

Record rain in Great Britain three weeks before the Olympics begin.

7-8- Sixty-six lives lost from the heat wave since June. Ten states are under excessive heat warnings.

Baby girl dies and a toddler in critical condition after they were left in separate vehicles in Indiana on a day when temperatures hit a record 104 degrees.

Rain and cooler temperatures prompt Colorado governor to lift statewide fire ban.

Southern Russia flooding kills 153 people in one town. Most were sleeping when the water hit.

Baby Golden eagle recovering after it miraculously survived Utah’s Dump Fire. A volunteer rescuer found the burned bird on June 28th behind a charred tree twenty five feet below the nest that had been burned to a crisp.

7-9- Second 110 degree temperature on The Land of the season. The average temperature from low to high was a miserable 93 degrees. (When you wake up in the morning and the low is in the nineties you know it’s going to be a rough day.)

A wind blown wildfire west of Twin Falls, Idaho was first spotted two days ago and has grown to 75,000 acres in twenty four hours.

The National Oceanic & Atomospheric Administration reports the first six months of 2012 have been the hottest on record in the U.S. The average temperature was 52.9 degrees, 4.5 degrees above the long term average.

Russia’s president has ordered an investigation into whether enough warning had been issued to prevent 171 deaths from severe flooding in the Black Sea region. There have been overwhelming angry protests since the flood killed many while they were sleeping.

7-10- The first average temperature from high to low was 100 degrees on The Land.

Emilia becomes a powerful Category 4 hurricane off Mexico “out of the blue” with a 140mph winds. The storm is 680 miles southwest of Baja, California.

7-11- An Arizona state investigation discovers a 67 year old man who was left outside a Tucson long term care home in one hundred degree plus heat for over an hour last month had a cord body temperature of 107 degrees when he died.

A ten foot alligator bites off the arm of a teenager swimming in a river in Moore Haven, Florida. The alligator was killed and the boy’s arm was retrieved but doctors were unable to reattach it.

7-12- Four fires have flared up in the last two days in the Tonto National Forest in Arizona. The Bartlett, Cooks Fire, New River Fire and the Squaw Fire are burning in the Cave Creek District. Rough terrain is prohibiting fire relief and 310 acres have burned.

Since June in Arizona there have been 109 calls for children and pets left in hot cars.

A DPS K-9 is taken in life threatening condition to a vet after his handler accidentally left the dog in his car for about an hour while the officer responded to an emergency call in Tucson.

A baby sitter is held in a Mesa, Arizona baby’s heat related death. The sitter was arrested by police on aggravated driving under the influence. The Sitter said he was not from the area and was driving around lost for four hours without air conditioning. He noticed as some point the baby was sick and sought help at a convenience store.

A house is destroyed by fire after being struck by lightning near 36th Street and Thomas in Phoenix.

7-13- The DPS K-9 is put down after heat stress.

4,000 APS customers lost power for nearly forty five minutes yesterday after a squirrel got into an north Phoenix substation on Cave Creek Road. “It is unlikely the squirrel survived.”

A trial is set for the 23 year old Mesa, Arizona man accused of starting the Sunflower Fire near Payson. The fire burned 17, 446 acres from May 12th to July 5th. He was camping with four friends for his bachelor’s party when he fired what he called a “flame throwing shotgun round” at a soda box near the Sycamore Creek area. He and his friends tried to stomp the fire out, couldn’t and called 9-11. They were told to leave the area immediately.

With a drought so bad the USDA designates 1,016 counties in twenty six states as natural disaster areas.

A five mile long landslide in Alaska’s Glacier Bay National Park is so big it registered on earthquake monitors as a magnitude 3.4 on the Richter Scale.

Two goats named Goatee and Pismo were taught by their owner to surf because he loves it so much. The goats stand on surfboards in cruise the waves in front of onlookers in Southern California.

7-14- Three quarters of an inch of rain in a short period of time on The Land! Flash flooding, dogs loving it, the Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck playing in it, me photographing the street flooding and stuck cars and just general weather havoc. It was so exciting!

From Gilbert TwinkyDuck reported heavy street flooding and possible hail damage to DooderDuck’s truck. Planes grounded for twenty minutes at Sky Harbor International Airport. U.S. 60 and Val Vista closed due to flooding, all lanes. 72mph winds in the east valley, 6000 SRP customers without power and in Lake Havasu City one man swept away from his truck in a wash and discovered dead.

7-15- A sixty five year old driver near Wickenburg, Arizona is swept away by flash flooding and has perished. He was almost home and told witnesses he had seen worse flooding before he entered the wash.

Crown King, Arizona cut off from I-17 by flooding and rock slides.
Quarzite, Arizona has no power for sixteen hours.

Wildfires burning in a steep canyon in Placer County, California has destroyed one home and threatens 170 others. The fire has burned 1950 acres since it began three days ago.

Two men dead and a third injured when lightning strikes a tree that the three had taken shelter under. They had been playing soccer in Houston when the storm hit.

7-16- Colorado City, Arizona is flooded from heavy rain run off.

Now official; the worst drought in one hundred years. One third of the U.S. crops are in trouble. Some areas of the Mighty Mississippi River are so low barges cannot navigate.

In southern Japan 25 people have died and thousands cutoff by floods and mudslides.

Two more climbers have died on Mont Blame near Rome following the deaths of nine last week in a massive avalanche.

7-17- Another wave of heat breaking temperatures in the Mid West and North East.

India’s monsoon has taken 109 lives since June and 400,000 are homeless. Experts say the tragedy is worse because of corruption and poor management of the Brahmaputra River. Millions meant for flood control have been taken by state water officials in the last five years. (Greedy Bastards!)

7-18- Even with the latest storms Phoenix is 2.73” in the hole.

A bobcat is shot with a tranquilizer gun after breaking into a Washington State prison. It climbed a razor wire fence and onto a roof. The cat is being treated for cuts and will be released into the wild.

A black cat name Oli walked six miles in three days to find his way back home in New Hampshire. Once home he ate three cans of food and slept for 24 hours.

7-19- Hundreds of elk photographed drinking water in puddles at dried up Mormon Lake near Flagstaff.

Fishing for King Salmon in the Kenai River in Alaska is closed. So few kings are returning to the river, the lowest on record since the 1980s.

7-20- The largest of 13 lightning caused wildfires near the Arizona- Utah border are close to full containment. The blazes began on July 11th. The Hobble Complex Fire has burned 31,000 acres on the Arizona Strip. ( Kind of strange no mention of this fire before especially how large it is. Is that because it is not a “glamerous” fire near towns or resorts?)

7-21- Another major dust storm with heavy rain hit’s the Valley of the Sun with 60mph winds, seven thousand without power and air traffic at Sky Harbor International Airport suspended.

Mudslides caused by torrential rains have killed one man, damaged homes and cut off villages in Austria.

A man has been spotted in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in northern Utah. Wildlife officials are worried the man could be in danger as hunting season approaches. (Hell, they should be worried about his mental condition and the goats!)

7-22- 33mph winds in Casa Grande.

Indiana residents are being urged to protect themselves and pets from water in some of the state’s lakes. Two dogs that swam in a lake are dead from being exposed to toxic algae.

Eighteen people in India die after a bus slammed by boulders during a landslide is knocked into a 150’ canyon.

Heaviest rain in Beijing in sixty years kills 37 people, 25 of them drowned. 80,000 are stranded at main airport. One township deluged by 18.1’’ of rain.

7-23- The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck’s sister report from near Cascade, Montana eight days in a row of temperatures over a hundred degrees. The Mission Road Fire has gone from a few acres to over a thousand in a day.

Firefighters are working eight fires on the west side of the Kaibab Plateau that all started by from lightning strikes two days ago. The largest is the Tank Fire at 1100 acres.

The first West Nile virus death reported in Maricopa County, Arizona.

The Fairfield Creek Fire sparked by lightning four days ago in Springview, Nebraska has grown to 50,000 acres.

7-25- “Sudden massive ice melt hits Greenland.” All of Greenland’s ice sheet suddenly started melting a bit this month, “ a freak event that even surprised scientists.”

In Pennsylvania a pregnant Amish woman picking berries in the woods killed by lightning. Her unborn child also died.

7-26- Headline of the New York Times: “Melting asphalt, kinking rail tracks. Weather extremes buckle U.S. infrastructure”

Tornadoes are rare in New York but one may have struck Elmira, New York today with damaged buildings and thousands without power. Unsettled weather causing air port delays along the East Coast.

Federal officials have issued a whale watch advisory for large ships in the San Francisco Bay. It was issued to avoid killing droves of whales feeding near the northern coast.

7-28- Grass painting a booming business due to the drought for United States ravaged lawns. A turf dye commonly used on golf courses is applied to the withered lawns to make them look like new. (Wonder how they smell?)

A gorills in a zoo in Prague has accidentally hanged himself with a climbing rope. He likely unbraided one of a dozen ropes the gorillas use for climbing and put a strand around his neck. ( Suicide?)

Flash Flood Warning issued for the Payson, Arizona area and Sycamore Wash is flooding homes. There is a blowing dust advisory in the Valley until seven p.m.

Severe winds knock down trees from Michigan to Georgia. 85,000 without power in Pennsylvania, 34,000 in New York and 13,000 in Ohio.

Deadly floods kill 88 in North Korea and 63,000 are homeless.

This contribution is from the Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck; From the West Coast to the East Coast insect infestations thanks to record breaking temperatures and warm early spring rains. In Harold, California locusts are devouring peaches, roses and hot peppers. One woman said “If you stand in my by backyard I’ve got about 5,000 locusts per square yard.”

7-29- “If you are halfway through your water you are halfway through with your hike.” Search and rescue teams have gone into the Superstition Mountains in Arizona twenty two times since last July.

A local historian on the Superstitions estmates that between the year 1900 and 2000 50-70 people went into the mountains and never came out.

Searchers have found the bodies of two U.S. mountain climbers who were killed after summting a 20,000’ peak in Peru. The men fell nearly one thousand feet off of a ridge while descening.

Unofficial Micro- burst in Foutain Hills, Arizona with heavy rain and downed trees.
An ominous Wall Cloud spotted near The Land this evening by The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck and me. These can be precursers to tornadoes so I called it in as any dutiful storm watcher would. Thankfully it did not blow us to Kansas.

7-30- A two year old boy is swept to his death in a flooded wash just outside his home in San Tan Valley, Arizona. Since 2006 residents in Bonanza Ranch have been filing complaints with Pinal County.

The Micro Burst in Foutain Hills, Arizona yesterday has been confirmed.

Tornado in Colorado mountains the second highest on record in the U.S. Mount Evans at 11,900 feet. (Who would ever imagine a tornado that high.)

7-31- Funnel Cloud reported in Deer Valley, Arizona. 64mph winds in Anthem and a Flood Advisory posted along with Black Canyon City.

It’s that time of year again sadly. DarrDuck reports that Slide Rock in Sedona, Arizona is closed due to poor water quality. What this means is all the “Bathers” pissing, shitting and leaving their kid’s diapers “hid” in the rocks and water has contaminated the once beautiful stretch of Oak Creek Canyon. I think the whole area should be closed for the summer to swimmers. But, I forgot, what would that do to the tourism industry in Sedona?

“Rabbit fever” confirmed in animals near Dewey, Arizona. It can be passed from animals to humans causing sudden fever, headaches, diarrhea, muscle soreness, progressive weakness, dry cough and pneumonia. It is treatable. ( When hunting and then skinning rabbits for food I was taught at an early age to look for spots on the liver. I was told this is a definite sign of a sick rabbit and not to eat the meat. )

Cattlemen are asking the EPA to give them a break competing with ethanol producers for corn at a time of high prices and drought. The EPA has the power to temporarily reduce the amount of ethanol required to mix into gas when it comes from corn. (This is a sad state of affairs, using much needed feed and food for fuel.)

And there you have it my fine and loyal readers all across the world. I don’t know if it is just me, but as each month rolls by the weather news seems to become more intense on many levels, especially the drought, heat and what is happening on so many levels because of it. Some say we are in the worst times since the Dust Bowl of the thirties. We will see what happens. Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather is committed heart and soul to deliver you the facts as we find them.
With that the song of the month is “Come a Rain” by Kevin Welch.

The Honorable, Indistinguished, Doctor MR Blue Duck.

June 2012 Blue Duck Weather News

June 2012 Weather News!

It seems appropriate to begin this month’s weather journal with a quote.

“Give me silence; water and hope”.
“Give me struggle; iron, volcanoes.”- Pablo Neruda.

Fires in the West and heat in the East dominate this month’s weather. It may seem boring but it is also startling if nothing else but the burden and stress it places on all biological life dealing with it; not to mention the financial and human toll on fighting wildfires and trying to stay cool. Toward the end of this journal you will note a very brief report that one of the largest fires may have been caused by arson. One woman even spoke of Eco- Terrorism. That was the first and last report I heard of the possibility. The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck has said it many times about bundling up in the winter to stay warm but there is no escape from the heat when you are out in it

But you will read so much more in this exciting issue of Blue Duck Weather.
Read all the rest of the weather news happening in your community, state, country and around the world.

A fatal mistake by a preacher and a rattler, a bear attack on a camper in eastern Arizona, more fucking fires in the West, record breaking spring heat in the U.S. (spooky shit), a record boar tide brings surfers south of Anchorage, (The Lovely Mrs. Blue Duck and I had the amazing privilege to witness this with two close friends after the toss of a “magic quarter”, to see which way to go, while we were visiting Alaska), the highest toilet in Arizona, The fucking West is burning up!, How many gallons is one inch of rain on one acre of land?, The sometimes terrible results of target practicing in dead dry grass, another black bear attack in Arizona, You know it’s hot when your piss evaporates as soon as it hit’s the ground, Utah governor proclaims gun shooters are causing too many wildfires, a thirsty coyote on The Land too close for comfort, a new “sophisticated” government system to issue emergency weather alerts and more if needed (Big Brother is watching), A fire so fierce it causes thirty two thousand evacuations in one city and the official start date of the monsoon season on The Land.

The average temperature on The Land for June was 87.50 degrees. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill had 70.35 degrees.

To date Phoenix has had .36” of rain. The Land has .49”.

The lake levels are alarming, especially Roosevelt at 57% full. Mead is 51%, Pleasant 82% and Powell 64%

June was the third straight windy month in Arizona, matching April for winds. And all of the wind is accelerating drying and eventually fires.

6-1- National News: “Arizona slammed by sweltering temps, smoky haze” form the massive fire in western New Mexico. The White Water- Baldy fire
Has burned 190,000 acres and is the largest in the United States.

The highest outdoor toilet in Arizona is on top of Mount Baldy in northern Arizona at eleven thousand feet.

A seventy two year old sleeping woman in a tent near Payson attacked by a black bear. It ripped through the tent and clawed the woman while she, her husband and dog were sleeping. There was no food in the tent or immediate area to attract the bear.

A new heat record set in Phoenix of 111 degrees broke the old record set in 1997. 115 degrees in Gila Bend.

Tornado and flood alerts from Washington, D.C. to Florida. Eleven thousand are without power.

In West Virginia a preacher who followed his father’s practice of handling snakes to prove his faith in God died after being bit during an outdoor service. He was bit on the thigh by a timber rattler. His father died from a snakebite in 1983. (Don’t mess with God and snakes. You might piss both of them off.!)

6-2- A tornado in Hampton, Virginia. Downed trees and flooding in Maryland and three teens saved from drowning.

Crews dropped by helicopter into remote terrain to fight the White Water- Baldy Complex fire. (How the hell do they get out if things get bad?) The fire has burned 227,000 acres and is 15% contained.

From his secluded and remote location in Colorado RyDuck reports at two thirty in the afternoon “Storms with great lightning and a mix of rain and small hail. Doors and windows are open with a temperature of 60 degrees. Enjoy the oven.” (The bastard.)

The Gomez Fire has erupted near Silver City, New Mexico.

6-3- The White-Water Baldy Complex Fire has burned 240,000 acres in New Mexico and there are 1200 firefighters. 17% contained.

6-4- Red Flag Warning posted for northern Arizona tomorrow.

Wind driven wildfire burns in the Sequoia National Forest burning 1700 acres in the southern Sierra Nevada Mountains. All campers and hikers are evacuated. The Gorge Fire is the first blaze in this forest in 140 years!

An air tanker crashes fighting the White Rock wild fire in southern Utah, killing two crew members.

6-5- Complete fire ban begins in Coconino County, Arizona beginning tomorrow morning.

Farms in Iowa are covered with up to four feet of sand after the Mighty Missouri River overflowed its banks and damaged thousands of acres last year. One man has spent the last nine months pushing sand off of his farm and says it will take years.

In British Columbia officers have killed a black bear that ate the remains of a dead murderer whose body was pulled out of a car on a remote road. The bear was guarding a “cache” that contained the remains of the man.

6-6- A man and his two adult sons die after a tornado destroys their home in south east Missouri.

6-7- Six tornadoes reported in north east Colorado. Golf ball sized hail in Colorado Springs. Ten car water rescues.

RyDuck reported rain and hail all night from his secluded location.
A bore tide in Alaska, the largest of the season creates long curling waves several feet high to the joy of surfers. This tide occurred south of Anchorage drawing hundreds of spectators.

According to the NOAA this past spring in the continental U.S. was the warmest on record. There was a five degree temperature difference. This is the largest temperature difference for any season ever recorded.

A coyote kills a dog in a gated community in Phoenix this morning. (Do they actually think the gate should have kept the coyote out?)

A seventy foot long deck from last years Japan tsunami floats ashore in Oregon.

6-8- Red Flag Warning issued in northern Arizona. 50mph gusts expected and all fires are banned at the Grand Canyon.

An unconfirmed tornado cancels a high school graduation in New Jersey. Tornadoes there are extremely rare. (To me the photo of this event looked like a wall cloud, the precurser to a tornado.)

A rare tornado a quarter of a mile wide in Platte County, Wyoming. Seven homes damaged in Elbert County. Four homes damaged in Colorado by this same storm.

6-9- Dozens of home owners are evacuated from a new large fire near Fort Collins, Colorado today.

A fire touched off by lightning yesterday north of Ruidoso, New Mexico has burned ten thousand acres.

The other in the Gila National Forest has burned 275,000 acres.

Eighteen inches of rain has fallen in the past twenty four hours in portions of the Gulf Coast. Pensacola, Florida recorded 11.89 inches today!

6-10- The Comet fire has started between Superior and Apache Junction, Arizona and has burned 200 acres. It may be a stubborn brush fire fueled by winds and rugged terrain.
In one day the fire burning near Fort Collins, Colorado has grown to 22 square miles and destroyed or damaged eighteen buildings and structures. It has grown 14,000 acres in one day!

The latest fire in New Mexico is more concerning to authorities because it is closer to homes. It has grown to 40 square miles.

Flooding with up to four feet of torrential rain in Florida. Pensacole has received twenty inches!

6-11- All of Arizona is declared to be in some stage of drought. .36” of rain for the year at Sky Harbor International Airport. This is 2.85” below the thirty year average.

New Mexico and Colorado fires burn out of control. The fire west of Fort Collins has damaged or destroyed 118 buildings and 60 square miles.
Evacuation notices sent to 1800 “phone numbers.” The Colorado fire is burning 40’ a second!

The new New Mexico fire has burned 54 square miles and the governor has ordered additional National Guard troops to assist in evacuations.

The 257 fire, south of Superior, Arizona has grown to one thousand acres.

Florida declares a State of Emergency due to flooding.

6-12- There are 18 wildfires burning in 9 states.

The fire near Ruidoso, New Mexico has burned 36,000 acres and damaged or destroyed 18 homes.

5% of the High Park Fire is contained at 43,300 acres. Remains of a sixty two year old woman is found in her burned out cabin. She received two evacuation orders but refused to leave her home.

6-13- RyDuck contributes this insightful bit of weather information: One inch of rain on one acre equals 27,000 gallons of water.

The fire near Superior is 40% contained and has burned 2700 acres.

The Gladiator Fire near Crown King if finally contained after more than a month.

A new fire near Williams, Arizona has burned 600 acres.

88,000 without power near Houston, Texas. High winds and hail knocked down tree limbs into power lines.

And now an Editor’s note about June temperatures in the desert. So far, knock on my wood head, temps have not been that extreme. When morning lows are in the low seventies you know the day will not be brutally hot. When you wake up before dawn and the temperature is 90 degrees fucking look out!

6-14- The Grand fire has burned 480 acres near the Grand Canyon.

“A multi-million dollar hail storm” has produced baseball size hail pounding cars and buildings in Dallas yesterday. Hail smashed the marquee of the landmark Lakewood Theatre in East Dallas.

224 homes have been lost near Altos, New Mexico and a State of Emergency is declared due to the fire. 22 million acres of forest are infested by bark beetles.

Acapulco has been placed on a hurricane storm watch as Carlotta forms with 50mph winds.

6-15- Evacuation orders have been issued for 80 homes in northern Colorado.

The Poco fire near Young, Arizona has burned one thousand acres.

The fire near Fort Collins, Colorado has burned 52,000 acres and is 15% contained.

6-16- A few days ago I was lamenting about the relative cool June temperatures and lack of humidity. Well, maybe the NWS had some wisdom in making the official new beginning of the Monsoon season on June 15th. Out of nowhere a surge of moisture from the south raises the dew point to 48 degrees. Lo and Behold we get a severe dust storm and splattering of rain this evening. Heavy rain in Tucson with a thousand lightning strikes. This was not forecasted by anyone (including your brilliant Editor in Chief. Although it felt more humid this morning.)

And now, timely as hell, Tucson received a grant and has one of the first radio controlled boats for swift water rescues. It can travel 40mph and rescue up to six people in swift currents. The boat does not imperil rescueres. (Just hope the rubber “ducky” doesn’t get punctured by floating debris after the rescue.)

One firefighter injured in the Poco Fire near Young, Arizona. 1500 acres have burned.

6-17- The front page headline of the Arizona Republic; “Weakened by Drought, Insects, Climate Change and Misguided Management, Arizona Forests Could Vanish in a Generation. State’s Forests on the brink of Collapse.”

A Red Flag Warning is issued for northern Arizona tomorrow.

Firefighters in Arizona are focusing on protecting electrical transmission lines near a 3100 acre fire in the Tonto National Forest. The fire is 15% contained.

Crews are dealing with strong winds fighting the High Park Fire in northern Colorado. Now looting has become a problem. A thirty year old man arrested on charges of theft and impersonating a fire fighter. He was driving through the fire zone with phony credentials and a stolen government license plate. His truck was later spotted near a bar and a firearm and stolen property were found inside the truck.

Another fire in Colorado near Pagosa Springs has grown to 11, 617 acres.

The search has ended for four climbers on Mount McKinley in Alaska.

6-18- The greatest danger from Tsunami debris are micro organisms. Invasive non native species can cause an “environmental disaster. “

6-19- You know excessive heat is on the way when the Phoenix area opens water stations. The Salvation Army has opened ten with chilled water and “safety information.”

Eight more homes burned in the High Park Fire in Colorado yesterday. Despite hot windy conditions the fire is 50% contained.

Dangerous riptide currents drown a swimmer in Florida.

Tropical Storm Chris forms over the Atlantic Ocean, the third named storm of the season.

6-20- The first day of summer with a cool low of 69 degrees on The Land. With a low of 82 degrees in Phoenix the forecast high is 112 degrees.

The Poco Fire near Payson has doubled in size and smoky air descends on the entire Valley area. The fire has burned 8100 acers and crews are partly to blame for setting back fires.

The water quality In Pine, Arizona is not fit to drink. One thousand households told not to drink the water because of low water supplies and possible contamination. One woman said “I would rather be without water than electricity”. Are you kidding me? For how long?

The North East begins summer with temperatures in the 90s, some of them records. A new record in New York City with 98 degrees and Newark, New Jersey with 98 degrees.

Animals in the Lake Superior Zoo in Minnesota drowned overnight when heavy rain caused flooding and also swept an eight year old boy into a culvert. He survived but eleven zoo animals have drowned and two thirds of the zoo is under water.

6-21- The Poco Fire near Payson has burned 11,000 acres and is 15% contained.

Boston’s Logan Airport reached 96 degrees, breaking a sixty year old record. The heat wave in the North East is affecting thirty million people.

Three dead after heavy rains wash out a road in Wisconsin. In Minnesota residents around Moose Lake and Willow River are evacuated due to flooding.

Two swimmers drown in rip currents off New Jersey shore.

6-22- A man is attacked while sleeping in an unfinished cabin by black bear near Payson. The door was open to keep the cabin cool. He suffered minor puncture wounds. It may be the same bear that attacked a woman recently.

All forests in Arizona and New Mexico have complete fire restrictions.

“3200 evacuated as Utah fire explodes.” Brush fire triggered by target shooters. The Dump Fire began in Kiowa Valley at a landfill near Saratoga Springs. The fire has grown 1500 acres in one day.

6-23- Rare Crested Saguaro has been vandalized and severly mutilated with its creted top cut off in the Four Peaks Wilderness area in Arizona. The cactus is protected by federal law and only one of every 150,000 of these cactus develop the crest. (Sounds to me like a trophy or religious symbol to someone who already knew this fact, I sure didn’t know it.)

Two weeks old and the High Park Fire has has burned 75,537 acres two hundred homes. It is now the largest fire ever in Colorado.

The Dump Fire in Utah has grown to 5600 acres.

Tropical Storm Debby forms in the Gulf and Louisiana and Texas are placed on warning. Some offshore oil and gas workers are being evacuated. This is the first time in history four named storms have occurred in one month.

6-24- Another bear attack in Arizona near Payson requires a thirty year old man to get emergency surgery for cuts and bites to his head and arms. His girlfriend and oney year old escaped their tent at Ponderosa Campground.

Twenty major wildfires burning in the West with eight of them in Colorado. The Waldo Fire has erupted burning 2000 acres.
Wildfires moved in so some of Colorado’s most popular tourist destinations destroying two dozen homes near Rocky Mountain National Park and emptying hotels at the base of Pikes Peak. The fire near Colorado Springs has grown out of control to three square miles this morning. Yesterday a fire burned 21 structures near the community of Ester Park, Colorado.

Utah’s governor proclaims “Gun shooters cause too many wildfires. “ Twenty blazes have been set off by shooting this year.

Florida and Alabama are placed uner Tropical Storm Warnings today.
60mph winds and eight to ten foot waves in Florida with the worst flooding since 1993. FEMA is urging all residents to heed warnings.

6-25- Two bears hunted down in the Tonto National Forest and shot to death in light of the recent attacks near Payson, Arizona. (Guilty by appearance?)

Arizona’s U of A and the Climate Prediction Center say an above average monsoon season is upon us. “Scientists say the monsoon is tough to pin down because Arizona sits on the northern fringes of the North American monsoon region, which leaves room for other forces to influence conditions.”

Late yesterday afternoon I took some garbage out. Not fifty feet away was a coyote apparently coming in to get a drink of water from the dog buckets under a mesquite tree. I don’t know if the coyote smelled the water but our two dogs were on him like a coon chase. They made a valiant effort to catch up with the fast running yote but he outran my poor dogs. I watched them until they were out of sight. Thankfully my dogs came dragging their asses home before they dropped dead in the heat.

Slow moving Tropical Storm Debby strikes Florida with drenching rain today. Its slow progress means the most pressing threat is from flooding and not wind. A State of Emergency is declared.

6-26- Three illegal immigrants found dead from heat exposure south of Tucson, Arizona.

I have to hand it to local channel 12 and their new storm chaser program. They put an idiot crew of three in a car to chase dust, rain and flooding. One of the members is a veteran from chasing hurricanes in the mid west. (Have fun guys. You have no idea what you may be in store for.)(Mrs. Blueduck however points out that they have to have a cell signal to report….good luck with that one in remote areas during a dust storm!)

108 degree forecast for Denver, Colorado. 1600 homes evacuated from the fire near Colorado Springs and a new fire has erupted near Boulder.

The three thousand acre Pony Fire is burning in Montana with not containment.

Debby makes landfall with twenty inches of rain in portions of Florida. Thirty inches of rain in northern Florida. I-10 is closed both ways. The famous Sky way bridge is closed. Live Oaks, Florida is 80% under water. One river has risen 20 feet in twenty four hours. Entire state under Emergency declaration.

6-27- Massive wall of dust heading from Maricopa, Arizona to Phoenix with two dust storms merging. A Dust Storm Warning is issued until 8:00 p.m.

The fire near Colorado Springs sends “2 mile wall of flame down ridge.” Thirty two thousand evacuated. The fire has doubled in twenty four hours and now has consumed 24 square miles. “Fire Storm of Epic Proportion”. Flames exploding past fire breaks, I-25 jammed with for hours with evacuees. The President will tour the fire zone later this week.

“Extreme heat roasts Central Plains.” One thousand records have been broken.

Debby is gone but four confirmed dead. I-10 in Florida closed for three days and may open tomorrow. Rivers from the flooding will not crest until next month.

One hundred dead in Bangladesh floods and 250,000 people are stranded.

6-28- The Waldo Fire near Colorado Springs has forced 35,000 people to be evacuated, 346 homes and thirty five streets destroyed. It is 10% contained and 29 square miles have burned.

Hill City, Kansas the hottest in the nation at 115 degrees, eight degrees above previous record.

Storm text alerts coming via NWS with new wireless Emergency Alerts. “A sophisticated government system with blanket warnings to mobile devices” of which may include messages from the government other than natural disasters (? )

6-29- The third day in a row with the dew point average of 55 degrees. June 27th was the first day of the monsoon season.

Second body found, 347 homes are gone near Colorado Springs from the Waldo Canyon Fire. Arson may be to blame.

Washington D.C. hits 104 degrees, shattering a 138 year old record.
Indianapolis hits 103 breaking a 78 year old record. Nashville is 109 degrees and hotter than Phoenix.
One third of the country is under a Heat Advisory affecting 113 million people.

Flash floods across Britain and Ireland have submerged homes and roads and cuts off main railway links to England and Scotland. Twelve flood warnings were issued yesterday alone.

Flooding in India has displaced 850,000 homes and 90% of a wildlife sanctuary is submerged in water.

6-30- The Poco Fire near Young, Arizona has burned 12,000 acres and believed to be human caused. It is 85% contained. But now focus has turned to the Cottonwood Fire burning in the Coronado National Forest. Caused by lightning it has burned 10,500 acres.

The Canyon Fire near Winslow, Arizona caused by lightning has burned 1000 acres.

Six fires in Utah threaten hundreds of homes.

The Waldow Canyon Fire is now thirty percent contained with ten thousand still evacuated.

After a major, freak windstorm caused by heat air conditioning units and power out to 1.5 million Washington, D.C. homes. The storm has been described as the largest non hurricane event.18 deaths are tied to the storms and heat. Atlanta hits 106 degrees, breaking an all time record.
1600 heat records are broken this week alone.

Chimps drag a 26 year old lecturer a half mile severly injuring the man at a South African sanctuary. He is in critical condition.

It was exhausting just to write this account of fires and record heat. Can you imagine how thousands of firefighters feel? Please salute them. They put their lives on the line to try and protect our homes and save our forests. Their jobs are every bit as valuable and necessary as soldiers and policeman.

With enough said the song of the month is “Pray for a Cloudy Day” by Gary Primich.

Humbly yours, The Honorable, Distinguished M.R. Blue Duck.

May 2012 Blue Duck Weather News

May 2012 Weather News

Welcome to another exciting, if not painful, edition of Blue Duck Weather News! My God, May was awful for record breaking temperatures in the U.S. and early, massive and vicious wildfires in the West. My uneducated opinion of the early fires, despite the obvious lack of moisture, was the wind in Arizona. Traditionally April is the windy month in this state but May was much worse. Add no moisture, a spark source and high winds and here comes the throat of the fiery monster consuming once beautiful timberland like popcorn. Yes, I know as the circle turns these fires are ultimately good for the rebirthing of a forest but without adequate moisture the burned areas will remain a wasteland.

Some say we are twenty years into a drought. There is a massive wildfire burning in the pristine Gila National Forest in New Mexico. The Lovely Mrs. Blueduck and I have driven through portions of it on our way to Talking Trees and Antelope Hill. We likened the scenery and mountains to those of Montana. But yet the area that the wildfire is burning has had no rain in two years! Something like this is just inevitable and will continue through the hot, miserable summer.

Some of you may ask, wonder or simply don’t care why this Quack continues this nonsense. We all know what the seasons will bring in the states we live in but this year some places the weather has had no expected rhyme or reason to it. The fascinating and unpredictable, sometimes masked face of Mother Nature. But she can be dangerous! Add to this a report that largely flew under the radar by the media; a well planned out plot by al-Qaeda to torch excessively dry areas near major cities.

However to break up this boring journal, as usual you will new and exciting and depressing tidbits to feast your eyes upon. For example, in this edition you will read about two new weather terms your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather have never heard of. I think the “think tank” at the NWS just makes some of the shit up but they have my profound respect for the work and research they do. You will also read the good news one year later after the devastating flooding in North and South Dakota, frozen cow carcasses now thawing and threatening to contaminate a popular hot spring, a man who moved to Yuma to get rid of a premonition that he would die in a snowstorm and the amazing story of what happened, Arizona wildfires dominate national news for a few days. DNA tests to prove the existence of Big Foot, cows that plunder an outdoor party and drink all the beer (we don’t make this shit up!) and so much more.

The average temperature at the Land in May was 80.79 degrees. It was only seven degrees warmer at the end of the month than the beginning, and as far as desert temperatures are this time of year it was quite pleasant. Talking Trees and Antelope Hill (hopefully not burned down yet) had a pleasant average temperature of 58 degrees.

We were fortunate enough in May to receive .14’’ of rain at The Land but the total for the year is .49’’, about a three inch deficit.

Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather have no lake levels to report, something we take very seriously, because our sophisticated link to this top secret information was missing. (One of our fucking dogs ate the newspaper on the critical day I recover the data.)

Now hang on for a wild, windy, hot and fiery ride! I pray June is not worse for fires.

5-1- A seventeen hundred acre wildfire, human caused, in southeastern Arizona is 25% contained.

Phoenix has a rain deficit of 2.77” so far this year.

Gaylord Entertainment Company has filed a lawsuit accusing the National Weather Service and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers of negligence. Its heavily damaged luxury hotel and the Grand Ole Opry House sustained 205 million dollars in damage during the flood caused by the Cumberland River in Tennessee in 2010. The suit contends that flooding could have been prevented if the Corps had opened a spillway on a flooded reservoir sooner.

5-2- A 24,000 acre wildfire near Fort Davis, Texas is threatening a resort development in the Davis Mountains.

Storm chasers and a fourteen year old capture photos of a funnel cloud in Montgomery County, Indiana. From the photos the NWS has determined it was an EF-1 tornado.
Another tornado reported in Medford, Oklahoma.

5-3- Thousand of bees in a Goodyear, Arizona neighborhood went on a fucking rampage and sent two to the hospital. “A reverse 9-11 system was used to alert residents to remain inside their homes.” (Wonder if this system will be used when and if Martial Law is imposed?)

The weather pattern over much of the central and eastern U.S. feels like June. Highs in the eighties in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Chicago, Illinois and Michigan.

5-4- Crews are fighting a wildfire in the Tonto National Forest that has burned 200 acres in Arizona. No estimate of full containment because of difficult terrain.

A well planned plot by al-Qaeda to torch tinder box dry areas in the U.S. near major cities has been discovered.

5-5- Red Flag Warnings for SE Arizona tomorrow.
Baseball size hail injures one in Oklahoma. Lightning forces the cancellation of a Texas Christian University baseball game.

5-6- Fire restrictions begin in SE Arizona tomorrow with no open fires or charcoal allowed.

A rare tornado hits Japan killing one.

5-8- January through April the warmest on record for the U.S.

A famed, morbidly obese cat named “Meow” has died from complications of weighing 39 pounds.

5-9- Extremely rare dust storm with thunder, lightning and rain in the Phoenix area as moisture is drawn up from the south. .14 inches of rain at The Land! Dust Storm Warning issued until six p.m. Trees and power lines down in Gilbert. Pee size hail in Bisbee. 55 mph wind gusts recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport. Fifty mobile homes damaged by “gustnaodoes” in San Tan Valley. Two luxury homes near Camelback Mountain struck by lightning and one destroyed. 13,000 without power. (No, we’ve never heard of a gustnado, but what a storm when there was only a 10% chance of rain!)

5-10- The School Canyon Fire twenty miles southwest of Sierra Vista is 75% contained at twelve hundred acres on the U.S. side of the border. It was reported two days ago and no cause has been determined.

Rare twin waterspouts moving in tandem for fifteen minutes caught on camera over Louisiana waters.

5-11- “Winds with an attitude” described of the storm that hit the valley two days ago. “Gustnadoes” are a mix of dust devils and powerful but brief updraft winds.

Eight injured after a Texas high school is struck by a tornado in Weimer, Texas.

Phoenix police have arrested a man for striking a pit bull with a machete after his girlfriend told him the dog threatened her. The injury was so severe the dog had to be put down after it was found wandering four blocks from “home”.

5-12- in just twenty four hours four wildfires have erupted in Aizona. The Sunflower Fire near Highway 87 near Payson has burned one thousand acres. The Dull Flat Fire, east of Payson has burned 400 acres. The Elwood Fire near San Carlos and the Dewey Fire near Highway 69. No burned acreage given for the latter two fires.

A year ago a record number of acres went unplanted due to flooding in North Dakota. But one mild and relatively dry winter later, durum wheat acres are expected to double and barley crops one and a half times bigger. In South Dakota this year’s corn crop could be the biggest in state history.

5-13- The Sunflower Fire has now consumed 2700 acres and is at zero containment. The Beeline Highway remains open. This fire is believed to have been started by campers near Sycamore Creek. The Bull Flat Fire has burned 500 acres and is 5% contained. It was caused by lightning. The Dewey Fire is under control.
A new fire has blown up near Crown King, Arizona. The Gladiator Fire has prompted volunteer evacuations and three houses have burned.

5-14- The entire town of Crown King is evacuated and 1300 acres have burned. National Weather News reports “Arizona wildfire grows, prompts evacuations.”

The Sunflower Fire has burned 4600 acres with 5% containment.

5-15- National Weather News reports “Snakes, mine shafts challenge crews battling Arizona wildfire. The Gladiator Fire has burned 1700 acres.
The Sunflower Fire near Payson has burned 8500 acres.
The Bull Flat Fire near Payson has burned 1300 acres.

Aletta, the first named Pacific storm has formed off of Mexico.

5-16- National Weather News reports “Extreme fire behaviour feared by Arizona crews. “ The Gladiator Fire is moving in on Crown King and cell phone towers are threatened. There are 24mph winds with 9% humidity. Red Flag Warnings posted for Mohave and Coconino counties in Arizona.

The governor of New Mexcio has officially declared a severe drought proclamation for the entire state.

Mild weather, according to one insurer, led to more wildlife and car collisions. There were 35% more claims for first three months of this year than all of 2011. “Executives speculated warm weather may have pushed both people and animals onto the roads.”

5-17- The Gladiator and Sunflower fires have doubled in two days and both are at 5% containment. Strong winds of 45 mph have helped Crown King since the wind is blowing the fire away from the town at this time. This fire has burned 6500 acres now. It has been determined that this fire started and spread by a house fire.

Sixty five homes have been evacuated near Fort Collins, Colorado. The fire has grown from from one thousand acres to five thousand acres in one day with wind gusts up to 50mph.

A swarm of bees at Chase Field in Arizona delays a Diamondback game.

5-18- Strong winds prompt new evacuations near Pine Flatts and Turkey Creek due to the Gladiator Fire. “Get out now!” as 44 homes are threatened. The Gladiator Fire has grown to 8,000 acres. One cell site is down near Crown King. A Travel Alert is issued at the Cordes Junction exit off I-17 west into Prescott due to heavy smoke.

With a Red Flag Warning issued for the entire state of Arizona the Sun Flower Fire south of Payson has blown up to 14,000 acres.

5-19- There are wildfires burning in seven southwest states and the Sunflower Fire near Payson is the largest in the U.S. at 16,000 acres with 10% containment. Major Travel Alert issued for Highway 87 near the fire.

The fire near Fort Collins, Colorado has grown to twelve square miles. It was started by a man with an outdoor stove while camping in the Roosevelt National Forest. He tried to stomp the fire out but then fled as the flames spread. There was no cell phone service for the man to alert authorities.

First Atlantic Tropical Storm, Alberto formed today off of the South Carolina coast.

Arizona Game & Fish is offering a fifteen hundred dollar reward for the person(s) who shot and killed a cow elk near Chevlon Canyon on or about April 7th. Nothing was removed and the elk was left to rot.

5-20- The Gladiator Fire is at 12% containment and communication towers are threatened.
The Sunflower Fire is 33% contained with 16,620 acres burned.

Seventeen tornadoes are reported in Kansas.

A Tropical Storm Watch has been issued for South Carolina and Georgia coasts. The biggest threat is Rip currents and 60mph winds. Tourist cruises are cancelled.

A popular hot springs near Aspen, Colorado will stay open after U.S. Forest Service rangers carved up eleven frozen cows in an attempt to prevent the dead animals from contaminating the water. The cows were found near the spring and a nearby cabin frozen to death. And now that the snow is melting is will be stinky shit!

“ A snowball’s chance,” Abraham Meadows was born under an oak tree in a snowstorm. After his family moved to Arizona in 1877 he grew to become a cowboy. He competed in the first Payson rodeo cowboy contest in 1884.
He eventually went to the Yukkon Territory for the gold rush and built the Palace Grand Theatre. After he cashed out he retired in Yuma thinking the hot climate would allow him to beat his premonition that he would die in a snowstorm.

On December 9th, 1932 a freak snow storm hit Yuma and “Arizona Charlie” died after operating on his own varicose veins with a pocket knife. (It wasn’t the snowstorm that killed him, it was his fucking pocket knife!)

5-21- Six homes now consumed by the Gladiator Fire.

5-22- A Red Flag Warning is issued for the entire state of Arizona for the next two days. Winds tomorrow may postpone the Gladiator fire fight. Nine thousand acres have burned with 15% containment. The fire is one hundred yards from the communication towers. More than 32,000 acres are burning across the state.

Tropical Storm Bud forms off Mexico. This one has the potential to become a hurricane.

Two hikers in separate incidents have died from heat exposure in the Arizona deserts. One was a tourist from Germany.

There was an amazing photo of a couple just finishing their wedding ceremony outdoors in Kansas. In the background there is a massive tornado about eight miles away. (Looks like my kind of wedding!)

5-23- “The most dangerous of blazes burning in the United States is the Gladiator Fire.” 26% containment with 24 square miles burned.

A wildfire in Nevada has doubled overnight and destroyed 17 buildings and two homes.

From his secluded location in Colorado RyDuck reports a record of 93 degrees yesterday. Today, 65 degrees, no wind and rain showers.

5-24- The Gladiator Fire is now up to 16,000 acres and the largest fire. It has spurred an Emergency Declaration allowing Yavapai County to receive local and federal funds.

After two years of warning by the EPA Pinal County in Arizona has been ordered to clear up its dirty air. Affected cities are San Tan Valley, Maricopa, Casa Grande, Coolidge, Florence and Eloy. This county is one of the worst in the nation.

Bud turns into a hurricane and headed toward Mexico’s pacific coast.

Two new fires in New Mexico have merged and destroyed twelve homes and 110 square miles in the Gila Wilderness area.

5-25- Severe Dust Warning issued for the Metro Phoenix area until eight p.m.

The Gladiator Fire is now 35,000 acres and 35% contained. Evacuees of Crown King are allowed to return home.

A brush fire near theme parks in Orlando, Florida have closed roads leading to them.

Hurricane Warnings issued for Mexico as Bud nears Puerto Vallarte and mud slides are feared.

In Boxford, Massachusetts a roving group of cows crashed a gathering and “bullied the guests for their beer.” The herd went into a backyard and chased off young adults. The cows were knocking over beer cans and lapping up what was spilled. ( I have a good friend who would not have tolerated this rude behaviour and shot every fucking cow. Guess who?)

5-26- For this Memorial Day weekend all Prescott National Forest Land south of county road 177 is closed due to the Gladiator Fire. A cold front is helping fight the blaze. The low at the Land today was 55 degrees, and the high a pleasant 79 degrees. (Almost unheard of for May and we will take it.!)

The Gladiator Fire has now burned 16, 400 acres and is 40% contained.

70mph winds recorded in Mohave, California.

A Triple Threat for the U.S. this weekend. Record heat in the middle of the country, fires in West and tropical storms in the East. Also five tornadoes were reported in Kansas this morning.

Tropical Storm Warnings issued this morning from northeast Florida to South Carolina. Two to four inches of rain expected.

The massive Whitewater-Baldy Complex fire in New Mexico is zero percent contained and burned 85,000 acres in the Gila National Forest. An historic ghost town, Mogollon is ordered to evacuate. Six hikers were “disoriented” by smoke yesterday prompting a rescue by the New Mexico National Guard.

A wildfire has burned 17,000 acres in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula forcing evacuations of homes and a state park. It was started by a lightning strike and has doubled overnight.

5-27- 55 degree low and a 86 degree high on The Land!
Twenty eight degree low in Flagstaff and 18 degrees in Happy Jack.

This cold front is helping the firefighters battle the Gladiator Fire. A ‘’mega moisture burst” two nights ago dramatically increased the moisture levels in the forest. The fire is 45% contained.

Tropical Storm Beryl nears the U.S. southeastern coast due to make landfall with drenching rain tonight from Jacksonville, Florida to Georgia.

Wildfires in Michigan up to 21,000 acres today. The Duck Lake Fire is 20% contained.

Snow in northern California.

97 degrees in Chicago broke a 101 year record with record heat in the greater Great Lakes area.

The huge wildfire in New Mexico has burned 122,000 acres.

5-28- More record heat in the Midwest. Hottest Memorial Day ever in Chicago with an all time high of 95 degrees. Seventeen states set new all time records. Seven hundred people treated for heat related problems at the Indinapolis 500.

Although Beryl is downgraded to a Tropical Depression it soaks southern Gerogia and northern Florida and 40,000 without power. One foot of rain fell in areas, and for drought stricken Georgia, it is a relief.

5-29- The Gladiator Fire near Crown King is 50% contained. The Sunflower Fire near Payson is 80% contained.

The White Water- Baldy Complex Fire in New Mexico has grown to 150,000 acres and the largest fire in New Mexico history. Some areas have received no rain in two years,(and we are talking about forest land.)

Radiation from Japan is showing up in tuna caught in California.

The Duck Lake Fire in Michigan has burned three dozen homes. Pike Lake Resort, famous for its world class visitors is gone. The fire has burned 21,000 acres and is 95 structures are burned.

Beryl has dumped more rain on the Southeast coast and could strenghten back to a tropical storm. Ten inches of rain in Sewanne County, Florida. A seventeen year old loses his life in violent surf near Daytona Beach.

5-30- The Gladiator Fire is 65% contained and the Sunflower Fire 80% contained at 17,000 acres.

New Mexico wildfire shatters the record for the largest fire ever in New Mexico and has grown 20,000 acres in one day. Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument closed due to heavy smoke.

Winds from the pesky Beryl system caused a tornado with 105 mph winds that destroy four homes and damaged sixty four near Peletier, North Carolina.

5-31- The Gladiator Fire is 70% contained.

Phoenix ties the record of 109 degrees set in 2001 and the hot spot in the U.S. today.

The fire in western New Mexico has burned 190,000 acres. This evening, from the land, I could see smoke and haze from the fire off toward Casa Grande.

And there you have it my faithful readers. With that we will leave you with the song of the month. “Light My Fire” by The Doors. Somehow I don’t think that twisted bastard Jim Morrison was talking about environmental terrorism. I think we all knew what he was singing about. It got him kicked off the Ed Sullivan show when he ignored warning to “tone down” the lyrics. Oh well, a more “innocent time indeed.”

Until next month remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.

The Honorable, Undistinguished, Professor of Quackology, and a degree holder in Bullshit.

MR Blue Duck.

April 2012 Blue Duck Weather News

April, 2012 Weather News! Welcome to another outstanding issue of Blue Duck Weather. In this edition you will find about April winds in Arizona and a very real possibility it will be a very dry and active fire season. Brush fires in New York City?, Daddy and fires, the warmest March on record in the U.S. and alarming news of four feet of hail out of one storm in Texas, drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds, what’s behind this very active and early tornado season, the heat and the Boston Marathon, little heard news anymore of the BP oil spill nearly two years later, a story just in time for Earth Day of a young Russian woman who places herself in front of bulldozers to save a forest, squatters setting a massive forest fire on purpose and much, much more! But first let me begin with my father’s weather predictions that actually tie into his beliefs. It may very well scare the shit out of you! When he was in the hospital this month for five days he told me many things, some I have heard a million times, but a few things I either don’t remember, want to remember or they were actually new stories from his resting mind. He had plenty of time to watch television in that joint and the weather. But his predictions did not come from that alone. You only need to be on The Land for forty years to know how dry it has been for at least the last ten years. Daddy told me that the true end of the planet would be caused by increasing heat, starvation, mass thirst and finally a fire that would consume this planet. He wasn’t talking out of his mind or delusional. This is what he believes and has always said his worst fear is dying by fire and being trapped. Let me tell you this wasn’t the most optimistic weather (or spiritual) forecast I have heard. Before we get to all the news that fit’s the weather world let us bring you up to date on some boring local statistics not worthy of even noting. The average temperature on The Land was 70.71 degrees for the month of April. The average at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill 51.79 degrees. It is worth noting that summer is on its fucking way. The average daily temperature at the end of the month was 14 degrees warmer than the beginning. Dangerously low rainfall is beginning to concern me and many others. To date the Land has had .35 inches for the year! Phoenix has had .33 inches. We received .03’’ in April, just enough to tease. The major lakes in the Southwest and Arizona are holding their own despite the low amount of rainfall and snow melt. Mead is at 55% capacity, Pleasant 92%, Powell, 64% and Roosevelt down to 66%. (I bet some of our ten year old camp spots are now dry and not under water.) 4-1- 47 mph winds in Flagstaff, 58 mph winds in Show Low and 33mph in Phoenix. A thirty five acre fire as erupted near Luna Lake, Arizona near the burned Wallow Fire area from last summer. It was 93 degrees at The Land yesterday, today with the wind chill it was 69 degrees, the same temperature as Talking Trees and Antelope Hill sitting at 7400 feet in New Mexico. A Red Flag Warning has been issued for southern Arizona tomorrow from eight a.m. to eleven p.m. From Colorado to Florida 50 cities experienced the warmest March on record with the majority of cities in the central U.S. and the South. New tornado warnings are meant to scare people and end the “cry wolf” syndrome that exists with current warnings that people ignore. In a test that begins tomorrow in Kansas and Missouri weather service offices will use words like “mass devastation, “unsurvivable” (which isn’t even an actual word) and “catastrophic.” Six hundred and seventy five fishermen have been rescued off a “runaway” floe in Russia. The search for a Colorado woman missing in last week’s wildfire has been suspended after rescuers found human remains in her burned home. The fire is 90% contained. 4-2- From his secluded location in Colorado Ry Duck reports that the high yesterday was 80 degrees, today with the wind chill it was 29 degrees. 4-3- At least two tornadoes struck the major Dallas, Fort Worth area. Video footage showed tractor trailers being hurled hundreds of feet into the air. Southbound Dallas flights cancelled and planes were inspected for hail damage. Thousands are stranded but fortunately there are no fatalities. 4-4- Forty mph winds forecasted tomorrow for Flagstaff and a Red Flag Warning has been issued. Record heat is to blame for this very active and early tornado season. There were 223 tornadoes in March, up from an average of 80 from 1991-2010. There were 13 confirmed tornadoes yesterday in the Dallas area with 6.3 million people in shelters. In one incident a grandmother held her 18 month old baby by his feet as the wind tried to take him away. They were huddled in a bathtub as the tornado destroyed their home. 4-6- In Arizona, the Higley Unified School District places Cortino Elementary in a “modified” lockdown after a mountain lion was spotted in a wash near the school. A storm in Buenos Airies, Argentina has blown down roofs and trees killing 13 and injuring 20. The 164 foot long “ghost ship” adrift for more than a year after Japan’s tsunami disaster has been blown up to sink in the Gulf of Alaska. It was deemed safer to sink the boat than let fuel evaporate in the open water. (I think they just wanted to have some fun with major target practice.) 4-7- American Airlines cancels 300 flights as it continues to repair hail damaged planes after extreme weather at the Dallas- Fortworth Airport last week. A massive avalanche in Pakistan buries 124 soldiers and some civilians. The avalance was a half mile wide and a hundred feet deep. Southeast England is under a serious drought affecting 20 million people. 4-8- Anchorage, Alaska breaks a 57 year old snow record in one season of 133.6 “, more than elven feet of snow. They received double their yearly amount. Drought and cholera kill 10,000 migratory birds on the Lower Klamath Natioinal Wildlife Preserve in California. It is one of the most important preserves in North America. 4-9- The warmest March on record in the United States last month. 15,292 records were broken. It was 8.6 degrees above the 20th century average. January through March was the warmest ever in the U.S., 6 degrees above normal. (This is alarming news!) Brush fires in New York ? Dry and breezy conditions fan fires up and down the East Coast. A State of Emergency declared in Long Island’s Suffolk County. In Florida 89 fires have burned 16,000 acres with twenty states in High Alert. Red Flag Warnings issued for tomorrow in northern Arizona with 45mph winds expected. 4-11- Yesterday the high at The Land was 92 degrees, today it was 73. Red Flag warnings posted for parts of Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Wyoming. 4-12- The National Weather Service has confirmed four feet of hail yesterday from a storm near Amarillo, Texas. There were drifts piled up forty feet wide tha cut off a major highway. To have this happen in one event three inches of rain would have to fall! 4-13- The name “Irene” has been deleted from Hurricanes due to its death, distruction and cost. Record rain in San Francisco with 750 lightning strikes. Parts of 48 states are now listed as abnormally dry or in drought status. Crop production is down and some produce is expected to double in price. Tornado touches down near the University of Oklahoma near Noram right next to the National Weather Service branch located there. (I bet those geeks loved it!) 4-14- Eleven inches of snow in Flagstaff. .02” of rain at The Land with a high of 59 degrees. Three days ago the high was 93 degrees! Ninety million people are in the path of life threatening tornado possiblilities. Baseball size hail shatters windows today in north east Nebraska. Three unconfirmed twisters hit central Oklahoma. Tornado sirens sounded this morning across Oklahoma City. Vermont’s governor encounters four bears in his yard trying to get food from his bird feeder. He had just gone to bed when he heard the racket. Not bothering to get dressed, and apparently not wearing much, he went out to shoo the bastards away. The largest bear charged him but he managed to get inside his home. “I sleep like many Vermont boys, without too much clothing at night…. The bottom line is the bears were dressed better than I and they could have done some real damage.” (You think?) 4-15- This afternoon tornadoes struck Nebraska, Oklahoma and Minnesota. In Woodward Oklahoma, an EF3 tornado with 160 mph winds killed five and injured 29. 89 homes and 15 businesses destroyed. There was no warning as lightning had disabled the town’s signal tower. In Thurman, Iowa 90% of the homes destroyed or damaged by tornadoes. States of Emergency across five states has 100 tornadoes reported. In all of this there is historic news. The National Weather Service nailed the forecast and was able to give 24 hour notice undoubtedly saving countless lives. Ninety one degrees in Boston. The typical high for this date there is 55 degrees. 4-16- The Boston Marathon is crippled by record breaking heat and thirty degrees above normal. 4800 runners out of the 27,000 opted out after warnings regarding increased risks due to heat. The 26 mile course was lined with extra water, ice, Red Cross stations and ambulances. 4-17- Ten runners in the Boston Marathon yesterday are in critical condition from heat related health problems. Forty degrees above normal in parts of Canada. March may have set new heat records in the U.S., but the world as a whole had the coolest March since 1999. A young Russian woman wins one hundred and fifty thousand dollars with the “Goldman Environmental Prize” for repeatedly standing up to bulldozers and police in her efforts to save an ancient oak forest in Moscow. (Hayduke Lives!) 4-19- Drought conditions in Pennsylvania have forced natural gas drillers to scale back production to temporarily to ease the need for water needed for drilling in certain areas. 4-20- Nearly two years after the BP oil spill large Grapper and Snapper fish are bein caught with open sores, lessions and “strange” black marks never seen before. There is no scientific correlation related to the oil spill but locals in Lousiana are certain these are the affects from the oil in the water. (Science my ass, you don’t need a weatherman to know which the wind is blowing.) Two workers at a Japanese zoo are dead after bears escaped the compound they were “living” in. 4-21- First one hundred degree day at the Land. 103 in Phoenix tied the record set in 1989. The average first one hundred degree day is May 2nd. Last year it occurred April 1st. Flagstaff had a high of 71 degrees, 12 degrees above normal. The East is bracing for heavy, wet snow and tornadoes. The South is getting ready for heavy rain. These are the result of a “dangerous weather mix” as the storm develops. A Canadian man has been charged with slaughtering 56 sled dogs and burying them in a mass grave. The man had hoped for a post Olympic boom for his dog sledding business but it didn’t pan out for “Howling Dog Tours”. (How about dead dog tours?) Three Panama fishermen adrift for sixteen days at sea thought they would be rescued when an American cruise ship appeared. Despite attempts by bird watchers on the ship to alert the captain the ship passed by. Adrift for another sixteen days the men finally perished when they ran out of fresh water and raw fish they had caught. A two month old child in South Carolina was dismembered by the family dog as his father slept. The mother found the child when she came home from work. The dog had severed the boy’s leg and the boy died at a hospital a short time later. 4-22- Earth Day! Hayduke Lives! Phoenix shatters an old record of 99 degrees set in 1949 with 105 degrees today. Kenya’s Wildlife Service game rangers have shot and killed five suspected poachers and recovered elephant tusks weighing 110 pounds. Two rangers were wounded in a gun battle that lasted forty minutes. The wildlife service is determined to make poaching a “high cost, low benefit activity” since elephant deaths have increased and poachers are more aggressive. Six rangers have been killed this year. Peru scientists are investigating a mass die off of dolphins along the coast of that country. 877 carcasses have been counted recently along the shore line. 4-23- Somerset, Pensylvania received eighteen inches of snow today and a foot in upstate New York and Pennsyvania. 75,000 without power. The warm spring has caused many trees to have leaves and the heavy wet snow has snapped branches onto power lines. 103 record in Phoenix. 110 record in Bullhead City, Arizona. 113 record in Death Valley, California. 82 record in Portland, Oregon. 4-24- Ninety six degree record in Phoenix. Heat wave that hit the South West is shifting to the Central U.S. Highs in the eighties from Texas all the way up to Canada. 4-25- Two years after the Gulf oil disaster, U.S. prosecuters file criminal charges, accusing former BP engineer of obstuction of justice. They say he deleted more than 300 text messages that indicated the blown out well was spewing far more crude than reported. 4-26- A crazy late April in the desert (but we will take it). A high of 78 degrees, wind and spotty rain showers. Three days ago we were setting record high temperatures! Eleven thousand folks are evacuated and nine dead after heavy flooding in Haiti. Mexico’s largest city forest park has been devastated by an 18,500 square mile forest fire. It was set by squatters trying to take over land and worsened by gangs trying to scare off firefighters. 4-28- One dead and one hundred injured in St. Louis when a beer garden tent is destroyed during a violent storm. People were in the tent celebrating a baseball victory when the storm struck. Rare tornadoes have destroyed seven homes and a hog farm in the southeastern Colorado plains. 4-30- After a dry winter and windy spring the Denver Board of Water Commision has declared a stage one drought. Water customers will be asked to cut water use by 10%. A snail the size of a pin may stand in the way of a two billion dollar pipeline project that would import water to Las Vegas from northern Nevada. The Tucson based Center for Biological Diversity said it will sue the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on behalf of 35 species. The first wave of five million tons of garbage from the Japan tsunami disaster has washed up in Prince William sound. Even a Harley has washed up in British Columbia. This “environmental tragedy” in the sound may make the Valdez spill pale. And there you have it my faithful readers, another depressing, boring account of last month’s weather. Nothing much to report but more drought, more tornadoes, and more record heat. The song of the month is very much needed in parts of this country. “Let it Rain” by Badly Drawn Boy. Before we end another chapter in weather news you may ask yourself why does this idiot, MR Blue Duck, continue with his monthly nonsense? Well the quote of the month will explain it all. “Time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time” by John Lennon. I suppose there are several ways to enjoy “wasted” time. Until next month when your lips are so parched you look like a blowfish remember Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took Land. The Distinguished, Honorable, Professor of Shit, MR BlueDuck.

March 2012 BLUE DUCK WEATHER NEWS

March 2012 Weather News!

Introduction: The new month starts off with more deadly rare winter tornadoes in the Midwest with snow predicted right behind them! The tragic tales of death and the miraculous survival accounts. More avalanche accidents and a very active season due to unstable snow bases. Japan, one year later after 3-11. Startling news for the Great Lakes area! The dog days of March for record breaking temperatures across the eastern half of the country. Angry Bird game keeps man from going insane when he was stranded in the snow. Special permits issued to kill Bald eagles. The “March Miracle” in northern Arizona one day before the beginning of spring! The state with the most expensive drought in United States history.

3-1- Red Flag Warning issued for most of Arizona tomorrow with 40mph winds expected.

The Northwest finally is getting hit with a blast of winter weather after a mild season. New York to Maine has areas with a foot of snow.

Thirty three confirmed tornadoes is the total from the storm two days ago. Thirteen souls are gone in seven states. Harrisburg, Illinois alone lost six people.

3-2- EF4 tornadoes with wind speeds from 170mph to 200mph across Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Indiana (being the worst hit.) A high school in Indiana was completely destroyed. Seventeen states have Tornado Warnings. This weather is affecting 155 million people in eight states! There is a 90% chance of tornadoes in Kentucky, a very rare forecast.

No wonder there is a Red Flag Warning for fire danger in Arizona due to the wind. The humidity at the Land this afternoon was 9%, the dew point 4 degrees, bone dry!

A skier caught in an avalanche in Alpine Meadows, California died yesterday. He was slammed against a tree and partially buried in the snow.

Six feet of snow has fallen in California’s Sierra Nevada.

3-3- States of Emergency in Indiana and Kentucky. Every home in Henryville, Indiana is gone. Some of the tornado stricken areas are forecast to have snow in two days and many have no electricity or homes.

Warm weather and a dipping jet stream are causing the monster storms that caused tornadoes recently. Yesterday the Storm Prediction Center had received 311 reports of severe weather, including 48 reported tornadoes.

3-4- A fourteen month old girl found in a field one hundred and fifty yards from her home has died of her injuries. Her parents, brother and sister died instantly when a tornado ravaged their home in New Pekin, Indiana. The death toll is now up to 38 from the series of storms.

3-5- “A seven year old boy who was sucked from his home last Friday and dropped 350’ away on the side of a road is home from the hospital, recovering from his injuries. His family’s two story home was destroyed.

An Indiana woman lost both of her legs when her family’s home collapsed on top of her last Friday as she was shielding her two children. All of them survived.

Maryville, Indiana is so badly damaged by the last series of storms and tornadoes residents may not rebuild there. The storms may signal the end of tiny towns destroyed in the Midwest.

So far March has had the most tornadoes ever recorded, 179. Forty now confirmed dead in 46 separate tornadoes. People had only seconds to react since it was in the dead of night. One tornado cut a 52 mile path in Indiana. Now a blanket of snow in the region worsens cleanup operations (and survival.)

3-6- Strong winds and an afternoon humidity of 9% helps cause a two hundred acre brush fire near the Gila River in Buckeye, Arizona. Firefighters can’t fight it because they cannot get to it with the erratic wind behavior. A high voltage powerline in the fire area has been de-energized.

A five acre wildfire has erupted near Flagstaff with wind gusts of 70mph.

Floods in eastern Australia have forced 13,000 to evacuate their homes after record rain amounts have flooded three states.

A snowmobiler buried under ten feet of snow in Utah has been rescued and he was back to work the next day!

The Yuma City council may approve an ordinance to ban rooster crowing in city limits.

3-7- The Arlington Fire near Buckeye, Arizona has grown to five hundred acres.

3-8- The Arlington Fire near Buckeye, Arizona fully contained at one thousand acres. It was started by a farmer doing a “controlled burn.” (You have got to be kidding me when a Red Flag Warning was posted for the day the fire started.)

3-9- “Dry, dry, dry” as my old dad has been saying. Only March and dust storms close portions of I-25 in Albequerque, New Mexico. Also I-10 from the Arizona state line to Las Crucus, New Mexico closed.

3-10- Record breaking severe weather in Hawaii and a State of Emergency is declared. Unprecedented hail, water spouts and a tonado a mile and a half inland. Major flooding with four feet of rain in the past week!

Despite warm weather and high pressure in most of Arizona a “pesky low” has caused three inches of snow in Cochise County.

A high of 47 degrees in El Paso, Texas with a high of 64 degrees in Billings, Montana is highly unusual.

Food production has gone down 40% in Mexico due to the sustained drought and may cause wide spread hunger for years to come.

The bodies of two local recognized skiers from Jackson Hole, Wyoming have been recovered in the mountains of Teton National Park after being buried by an avalanche .

A seventy four year old woman trapped in her bedroom closet where she had hid eight days ago to escape a tornado in Kentucky has been found dead. She could not get out of the closet because the door handle fell off. The death toll is now up to 55 folks.

A woman and her cat have been found alive after three and a half weeks in the rugged Gila National Forest in New Mexico. She stayed bundled in a sleeping bag and kept close to a water source. The woman and her cat had only a “handful of supplies.” She is emaciated and malnourished but well hydrated. Her cat was in better shape because it hunted for food.

The woman, who has a history of mental illness, purposely hiked off a trail and set up camp. Authorities don’t believe she intended to stay as long as she did and aren’t quite sure what she ate when she ran out of food. (She should have eaten the fucking cat!)

3-11- The Great Lakes ice coverage has shrank 70% in the last forty years according to the American Meteorological Society. The data is based on satellite photos from 1973 to 2010. The most ice lost is on Lake Ontorio at 88% and Lake Superior at 77%. (This is serious shit! And I bitch about the lake levels in the West.)

They call it the equivalent to our 9-11, the 3-11 anniversary of the disaster in Japan last year. Three hundred thousand still live in refugee camps and only six percent of the carnage and destruction has been removed. Forty percent of the population in Tokyo is unemployed or under employed.

3-12- Here is the reason why Arizona doesn’t change to daylight savings time; when first enacted during World War 1 and 2 to save energy Arizona wanted days to end sooner not later because of heat. The act was restablished in 1976. (It’s all mind games. Throw away the watch and the sun comes up and the sun goes down when it will.)

Avalanche kills 45 in eastern Afghanistan. Just a week ago an entire village was wiped out killing 50.

3-13- Fifteen inches of rain in portions of Louisiana in five hours leaves seven feet of water on streets! The rainfall is one quarter of the state’s annual rainfall normally.

3-14- Temperature in Chicago today 81 degrees, the same high as The Land!

Warm spell breaks 138 high records in the Midwest and Northeast. In some areas temperatures are 35 degrees above normal.

A ski guide has been killed in an avalanche in the mountains in southeast Alaska near the town of Haines. He was guiding six skiers. One was buried and is “clinging to life.”

A cat jumped into a transformer in downtown Phoenix causing 1500 to be without power. (There was no mention of the condition of the cat although I’m sure it was vaporized upon impact. Speaking of impact remind me to tell you the Christmas gift radio controlled helicopter that knocked out power to our entire “neighborhood.”)

3-15- Southern Arizona has half the snow pack normally for this time of year. The conditions are as dry as normally found in May. There are grave concerns for the fire danger this summer especially the two million acre Coroanado National Forest.

A Winter Storm Advisory is issued for northern Airzona for Saturday through Monday.

More heat records shattered in the East and Midwest. Washington D.C. at 80 degrees broke a record for the third straight day. North Dakota was warmer than Arizona today. 5,600 records have been broken for warmest temperatures so far this year in the U.S.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has issued the first of its kind permit in Wyoming to the northern Arapaho Tribe, allowing them to kill up to two bald eagles for religious purposes.

Three people in separate attacks have been bitten by coyotes in a Vistancia, Peoria, Arizona neighborhood in the past three days. One woman was bitten on the ankle Monday evening while sitting on her back porch. The next day a woman was bitten on the chest reclining in a chair and a man bitten on the calf. Both were sitting on their porches. There are only eleven documented cases in Maricopa County of coyote bites in the past 15 years. (I can recall one time camping when coyotes were getting brazen and too close to camp when my good friend came out of his tent with a .44 handgun blazing at the bastards. He gave no notice and my dad, who was in camp, almost had a second heart attack. But the bastards were gone.)

A second man pulled from an avalanche in Haines, Alaska has died from his injuries. He had been snowboarding and was buried under six to eight feet of snow. The two men would not have been found if they weren’t wearing avalanche beacons.

3-16- Winter Storm Warning for northern Arizona above 5,000’. Winter Storm Watch in southern Arizona. 60mph winds possible.

A rare tornado near Ann Arbor, Michigan for this time of year is an EF3 with 145mph wind speeds. 110 homes damaged and 13 destroyed. Warning sirens likely prevented injuries and deaths.

A man stranded for three days on a snow covered back woods Montana road attributed his survival to “God, a rationed supply of beef jerky and the video game Angry Birds” that he played on his cell phone to keep from going insane. He had no cell phone reception to call for help.

3-17- Red Flag Warnings in eastern Arizona and a brush fire has broken out near Highways 60 and 77 near Show Low.

With this storm moving in NAU has already cancelled classes for Monday.

First signs of spring at The Land despite only .02 inches of rain since January 1st. The creosotes and barrel cacti are blooming their brilliant yellow flowers and fruit.

Fourth straight day of record heat in Chicago.

If Anchorage, Alaska receives 3.3 inches more snow this season a 60 year old record of 132.6 inches will be broken. Some streets are snow walled canyons and moose seek the city to get out of the deep snow in the woods.

3-18- Due to heavy snow in northern Arizona 180 miles of I-40 closed. Eighteen inches of snow in Flagstaff and thirty inches at the Snow Bowl. It was warmer today in Denver than in Phoenix. Snow level to drop to twenty five hundred feet tonight.
.30 inches of rain at The Land with a high of 56 degrees. I personally witnessed pea size hail at Queen Creek road and I-10. (Stoked a fire in the fireplace, it will probably be the last one until say next November.)

Hundreds of more heat records broken with St. Paul setting one for the eight straight day and an all time record of 79 degrees in International Falls.

3-19- With this storm passing out of Arizona a record .24’’ of rain for the date was recorded at Sky Harbor International Airport breaking the old record set in 1924! The Snow Bowl received 56’’ of snow, Sunrise 39’’ and Prescott 16’’. (There was even rare snow on Table Top Mountain, about thirty miles south of The Land that stuck all day. That mountain is only about 4500 feet high.)

The storm that just dumped heavy snow in California and Arizona has been dubbed a “March Miracle.”

A four hundred and fifty acre wildfire is contained in Santa Cruz County, Arizona.

Wind fueled wildfires in north east Colorado destroy two homes and three hundred evacuations in the tiny town of Eckley. The fire is ten miles long and a mile and a half wide.

Two tornadoes are confirmed outsied of Platte, Nebraska and severe storms have struck parts of Texas and Ohio.

An all time record of 83 degrees in Travers, Michigan and the 5th straight day of 80 degrees in Chicago.

3-20- Thunder was so strong this morning in Tulsa, Oklahoma it registered on seismic equipment. Locals called the NWS to see if an earthquake happened.

A tornado touched down last night 25 miles south west of San Antonio, Texas.

A fire burning on Mount Kenya is sending elephants and other large animals running for their lives. British troops are fighting to put out several fires.

Five skiers killed and one injured after being buried by a 3,000 foot wall of snow on Norway’s Arctic fringe. All were located by rescue beacons.

3-21- A storm dumps twelve inches of rain in parts of Louisiana causing major flooding.

The unseasonably warm weather has raised the danger of wildfires in northern parts of the United States where fires are unusual. Grass fires in Wisconsin last week burned hundreds of acres and caused two deaths.
Fire weather watch warnings are issued for parts of North Dakota and Montana.

3-22- Possibley the most expensive drought of any state ever, Texas agriculture lost 7.62 billion dollars in 2011. Hardest hit were livestock ranchers followed by cotton groweres. Texas is the largest producer of both commodities in the United States producing 15% of beef cattel and 25% of cotton. Many ranchers tried to buy hay from as far away as Montana. (Who is going to replace this shortage and how?)

3-23- A tornado kills a woman in her home in southern Illinois. Six confirmed tornadoes in south east Missouri, southern Illinois and Kentucky.

3-25- A Wind Advisory is issued for northern Arizona and a Red Flag Warning for Tucson.

The largest hailstone ever to hit Hawaii measured 4.25’’ long, 2.25’’ tall and 2’’ wide.

March has broken 6,000 warmest records so far from Minnesota to Michigan and Tennessee to Georgia. There have been about 250 daily record lows.

Warm days in Colorado are bringing out bears early. Bear sightings have been reported in Colorado Springs, Aspen, Durango and Summit County.

3-26- A young designer in Detroit has created the “MWPR” coat that doubles as a sleeping bag for the homeless population in that city, about 20,000. It is made by the homeless, teaching them skills to sew and produce products.

3-27- A fire south west of Denver has destroyed or damaged 23 homes. A husband and wife are dead but it is unclear if by the fire. The fire has burned 448 acres and at zero containment. Nine hundred homes have been evacuated and 6500 others have been warned of possible evacuation. A controlled burn may have started the fire and there were wind gusts up to 90mph yesterday.

After a warm spring temperatures drop into the twenties in New York, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Hampshire.

South African rugby players are swept out to sea in rough waters after a post practice swim. One player dead, five missing and fifteen rescued.

3-28- The two cousins accused of starting the largest Arizona wildfire in history last summer plead guilty to four counts related to building an unsafe campfire. The face up to a year in prison and ten thousand dollars in fines.

3-29- The governor of Colorado suspends state prescribed burns in light of the recent fire near Denver.

Softball size hail breaks windshields in Madison, Kansas.

Because of the severe drought, farmers in Texas and Louisiana have abandoned hundreds of donkeys turning them into “wandering refugees.” Ranchers used them to guard herds of cattle and goats. When the herds were sold off because of the drought the donkeys were “out of a job.” Eight hundred abandoned donkeys in Texas have been rescued.

The reward for information on the killing of six wild burros north of Phoenix has increased to six thousand dollars. Five adults were shot to death and one foal died when its mother was killed.

3-30- A seventy six year old man with diabetes, a pacemaker and has had triple bypass surgery survives ten days in a remote desert in Nevada. He and his seventy five year old friend drove out to scope out mines when they became stuck. His friend set off on foot for help and was later found dead about a mile and a half from the vehicle. The man who survived used a towel to strain drinking water from snow and water in a ditch.

3-31- 93 degrees at The Land, the first for many months! 20.50 degrees warmer than the beginning of the month. It is going to be a long, dry hot summer I’m afraid. Phoenix tied a record of 94 degrees.
Red Flag warning tomorrow in Kingman and state wide the temperature is supposed to drop twenty degrees.
There has been a recent string of shark attacks in Australia. One man is dead after being attacked by a 13’ long shark.

And there you have it my faithful readers of the incredible Blue Duck Weather with all the news that fits our dorky little minds!

We will leave you with the song of the month that reminds us of the transition from winter to spring in more ways than one; “Comin’ Home” by Tim McGraw.

Yours very sincerely, the Incredible, Distinguished, Honorable, Doctor of Quack logy, Professor MR Blue Duck.