Blue Duck News
September 2007
An exciting new feature has been added to this latest addition of the Blue Duck Weather News. Beginning with this edition we will be reporting the water levels of the four largest lakes in the state. Yes my faithful readers, the largest lakes not the mud puddles and tadpole producers in the rest of the state. These are the largest toilet flushers. You can draw your own fucking conclusions about the drought status. Please note that lake amounts are recorded in acre feet of water not gallons as used by the nimrods in the swimming pool industry.
Lake Powell- 49% full with 96,400 acre feet of water.
Lake Mead- 46% with 94,300 acre feet of water.
Roosevelt Lake- 47% capacity with 13,701 acre feet of water.
Lake Pleasant- 43% with 6,061 acre feet.
The average temperature at the Land in September was 86.60 degrees. The average temperature on Antelope Hill and Talking Trees was a blissful 64.28 degrees.
The average humidity on the Land was 36.35% and the dew point was 51.62 degrees; not exactly dry but not tropical either.
The average wind speed was 3.024 mph No kites were witnessed but plenty of buzzards were spotted on the thermals; spiked beak, beady eyed bastards waiting to dive on some unsuspecting but quite unaware carrion.
The warmest September on record for Arizona was 2001.
9-1. 32nd day of temperatures in PHX. 110 degrees or higher.
9-4. Thousands of Californians without power as heat wave drags on and drains energy supplies. Two hurricanes making landfall, the first time since 1949.
9-7. U of A Climatologist predicts another dry winter for Arizona. Not good for an already twelve years of drought. California considers water rationing, the first time since 1991.
9-8. Drought has reduced wine production in Australia. Grape production down thirty percent. Family owned business yields lowest production in one hundred and fifty years.
9-9. Moonlight fire in Northern California burns 42,000 acres, sixteen percent contained. Smoke causing health warnings. Severe flooding in SW Missouri. Tropical storm Gabriel makes landfall in North Carolina. Heavy rain and flooding in Willcox, Arizona.
9-9. Wind patterns changing from southwest to northeast, the first sign of the end of the monsoon.
9-10. 62,000 acres burned in the High Sierras. Smoke drifting all the way to San Francisco.
9-11. Wettest summer of all time in Texas. 9-11 ceremonies in New York windy and rainy. (This seems appropriate in contrast with the deep blue sky of that fateful day in 2001. There is a definite irony in the contrast of now and then.) First frost of year in Wisconsin. ( "See ya later Country Bumpkin, how's the frost out in the pumpkins, doodley do, doodley do.") 2008 Farmer's Almanac predicts warmest year ever coming. 87 degree record high low in Phx. 39 degree low in Alpine, AZ.
9-12. Tropical storm Humberto heads for rain soaked Texas. "Experts'' say eating less meat could cut down on gas released in atmosphere, there by cutting the green house effect. I say eat more beans and green Chile peppers and add a less harmful gas to the atmosphere after you blow your toilet apart.
9-13. Humberto turns into a Category one hurricane. Ten inches of rain fall in Eastern Texas and Louisiana. Much needed rain in deep south of Georgia and Mississippi. 109th day of temperatures at a hundred degrees or more in Phoenix. The low at the Grand Canyon was 39 degrees. Monsoon was "officially" over on 9-ll. Defined as three previous days with lower dew points, humidity and change in wind direction. The average rain amount during the monsoon is 2.68 inches of rain. Phoenix recorded .69 inches of rain for the entire monsoon tying the eighth driest year on record since 1895. "Experts" report once again that cutting down on meat consumption could reduce global warming. (We don't make this shit up.)
9-15. Severe thunderstorm warnings for Pima and Pinal counties; two to five inches or rain in locations.
9-16. As predicted and promised by the fine staff at Blue Duck Weather the monsoon had its last final blow at the Land. .11 inches of rain fell bringing the yearly total to 3.88 inches. Fifteen thousand acres burning in Big Bear. Twelve percent containment. State of emergency declared in San Bernardino County.
9-17. Lightning strikes Oregon church steeple twice in same day exposing dry rot. (I'm telling you we don't make this shit up in some opium dream.) First time all month temperatures in Phoenix not a hundred degrees or more. Solar energy bill signed to allow solar panels on homes despite fucking HOAS. Freeze warning above seven thousand feet in Arizona.
9-18. Photographer in Greenland taking time lapse photos of shrinking ice for three years. Hour by hour pictures show startling shrinkage of ice in three months. China evacuates 1.3 million people as typhoon nears coast. (Where in the hell do you evacuate a million people? into the sea like so many lemmings?) Thirty degrees in Flagstaff, twenty seven degrees at the Grand Canyon.
9-19. National Weather Service announces change in reporting Severe Weather alerts beginning October 1st. No more county alerts will be issued, only landmarks and large buildings.( Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather are highly suspicious of this change and will monitor it closely. It just might be meteorological terrorism, subliminal mind fuck.) Tropical storm forming off Pacific gulf of Mexico. Expected to turn into a hurricane.
September 2007
An exciting new feature has been added to this latest addition of the Blue Duck Weather News. Beginning with this edition we will be reporting the water levels of the four largest lakes in the state. Yes my faithful readers, the largest lakes not the mud puddles and tadpole producers in the rest of the state. These are the largest toilet flushers. You can draw your own fucking conclusions about the drought status. Please note that lake amounts are recorded in acre feet of water not gallons as used by the nimrods in the swimming pool industry.
Lake Powell- 49% full with 96,400 acre feet of water.
Lake Mead- 46% with 94,300 acre feet of water.
Roosevelt Lake- 47% capacity with 13,701 acre feet of water.
Lake Pleasant- 43% with 6,061 acre feet.
The average temperature at the Land in September was 86.60 degrees. The average temperature on Antelope Hill and Talking Trees was a blissful 64.28 degrees.
The average humidity on the Land was 36.35% and the dew point was 51.62 degrees; not exactly dry but not tropical either.
The average wind speed was 3.024 mph No kites were witnessed but plenty of buzzards were spotted on the thermals; spiked beak, beady eyed bastards waiting to dive on some unsuspecting but quite unaware carrion.
The warmest September on record for Arizona was 2001.
9-1. 32nd day of temperatures in PHX. 110 degrees or higher.
9-4. Thousands of Californians without power as heat wave drags on and drains energy supplies. Two hurricanes making landfall, the first time since 1949.
9-7. U of A Climatologist predicts another dry winter for Arizona. Not good for an already twelve years of drought. California considers water rationing, the first time since 1991.
9-8. Drought has reduced wine production in Australia. Grape production down thirty percent. Family owned business yields lowest production in one hundred and fifty years.
9-9. Moonlight fire in Northern California burns 42,000 acres, sixteen percent contained. Smoke causing health warnings. Severe flooding in SW Missouri. Tropical storm Gabriel makes landfall in North Carolina. Heavy rain and flooding in Willcox, Arizona.
9-9. Wind patterns changing from southwest to northeast, the first sign of the end of the monsoon.
9-10. 62,000 acres burned in the High Sierras. Smoke drifting all the way to San Francisco.
9-11. Wettest summer of all time in Texas. 9-11 ceremonies in New York windy and rainy. (This seems appropriate in contrast with the deep blue sky of that fateful day in 2001. There is a definite irony in the contrast of now and then.) First frost of year in Wisconsin. ( "See ya later Country Bumpkin, how's the frost out in the pumpkins, doodley do, doodley do.") 2008 Farmer's Almanac predicts warmest year ever coming. 87 degree record high low in Phx. 39 degree low in Alpine, AZ.
9-12. Tropical storm Humberto heads for rain soaked Texas. "Experts'' say eating less meat could cut down on gas released in atmosphere, there by cutting the green house effect. I say eat more beans and green Chile peppers and add a less harmful gas to the atmosphere after you blow your toilet apart.
9-13. Humberto turns into a Category one hurricane. Ten inches of rain fall in Eastern Texas and Louisiana. Much needed rain in deep south of Georgia and Mississippi. 109th day of temperatures at a hundred degrees or more in Phoenix. The low at the Grand Canyon was 39 degrees. Monsoon was "officially" over on 9-ll. Defined as three previous days with lower dew points, humidity and change in wind direction. The average rain amount during the monsoon is 2.68 inches of rain. Phoenix recorded .69 inches of rain for the entire monsoon tying the eighth driest year on record since 1895. "Experts" report once again that cutting down on meat consumption could reduce global warming. (We don't make this shit up.)
9-15. Severe thunderstorm warnings for Pima and Pinal counties; two to five inches or rain in locations.
9-16. As predicted and promised by the fine staff at Blue Duck Weather the monsoon had its last final blow at the Land. .11 inches of rain fell bringing the yearly total to 3.88 inches. Fifteen thousand acres burning in Big Bear. Twelve percent containment. State of emergency declared in San Bernardino County.
9-17. Lightning strikes Oregon church steeple twice in same day exposing dry rot. (I'm telling you we don't make this shit up in some opium dream.) First time all month temperatures in Phoenix not a hundred degrees or more. Solar energy bill signed to allow solar panels on homes despite fucking HOAS. Freeze warning above seven thousand feet in Arizona.
9-18. Photographer in Greenland taking time lapse photos of shrinking ice for three years. Hour by hour pictures show startling shrinkage of ice in three months. China evacuates 1.3 million people as typhoon nears coast. (Where in the hell do you evacuate a million people? into the sea like so many lemmings?) Thirty degrees in Flagstaff, twenty seven degrees at the Grand Canyon.
9-19. National Weather Service announces change in reporting Severe Weather alerts beginning October 1st. No more county alerts will be issued, only landmarks and large buildings.( Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather are highly suspicious of this change and will monitor it closely. It just might be meteorological terrorism, subliminal mind fuck.) Tropical storm forming off Pacific gulf of Mexico. Expected to turn into a hurricane.
9-22. "Fall is in the air Alphie, toodely do, toodely do." First day of Autumn.
9-23. High temperature in Phoenix 86 degrees, low 56 degrees. The last time was May 8th.
9-25. Tropical storm Karen forms in the Atlantic.
9-26. Fire danger in Arizona rising with lower humidity and wind. There have been hints of year wide fire dangers in many western states. Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather pray upon a rain drop this will never happen to this beloved State.
9-28. New hurricane Lorenzo seventy five miles east of Tux pan, Mexico.
9-29. Lorenzo down graded to a tropical storm but dumped a foot of rain in Central Mexico.
Thank you for reading this breath taking addition of The Blue Duck Weather News. The fine staff here will keep their beady eyes open, the beaks focused, and their ears open to the weather events that affect this great State, the Country and the glob(e). The songs for the month are "Hello Country Bumpkin " by Hall Ripkin, "Fall is in the Air" by God knows who, and "Dancing in the Rain" by I don't care.
Remember, Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.
Your brilliant Editor in Chief;
MR Blueduck.
9-23. High temperature in Phoenix 86 degrees, low 56 degrees. The last time was May 8th.
9-25. Tropical storm Karen forms in the Atlantic.
9-26. Fire danger in Arizona rising with lower humidity and wind. There have been hints of year wide fire dangers in many western states. Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather pray upon a rain drop this will never happen to this beloved State.
9-28. New hurricane Lorenzo seventy five miles east of Tux pan, Mexico.
9-29. Lorenzo down graded to a tropical storm but dumped a foot of rain in Central Mexico.
Thank you for reading this breath taking addition of The Blue Duck Weather News. The fine staff here will keep their beady eyes open, the beaks focused, and their ears open to the weather events that affect this great State, the Country and the glob(e). The songs for the month are "Hello Country Bumpkin " by Hall Ripkin, "Fall is in the Air" by God knows who, and "Dancing in the Rain" by I don't care.
Remember, Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land.
Your brilliant Editor in Chief;
MR Blueduck.
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