Greetings Droogies! (I use that term very loosely. If you knew where it came from you would be certain of the demented Bastard I am.) With the weeds sprouting in the desert and the temperatures ten degrees warmer than the beginning of the month it appears winter is just about a gone dead train. This Beloved State of Arizona received much needed rain and snow this winter season. Flagstaff has received enough snow to be at one hundred and fifty percent above average. The Valley lakes are near capacity. However the big ones, Powell and Mead, are less than fifty percent full. Those are the two I have told you to keep your beady little eyes on. Until they come up we are a long way from being out of the drought. If they continue to decrease I can assure you there will be water wars for the surrounding states. (Read more about this in the latest and greatest Blue Duck Weather News!)
With the weeds comes the snot for us poor allergy sufferers. Add all the trees imported from idiots all around the world to this "desert" we will be in big trouble very shortly. Have you ever heard or seen a duck sneeze? It is an awful thing to witness. But with the weeds and the grass on the desert floor large amounts of vitamin A will nourish the productive systems of quail, dove and rabbits. These populations should thrive this Spring and Summer supplying food for the predators above them in the food chain. Do not include the idiotic human in this predation chain.
A "snow-melt advisory" was issued this month for Sabino Canyon at Tucson's Mt. Lemmon. It was issued for hikers in the area. In all of my squeeky years of weather observation I have never heard of this term. I suppose it is prudent to a bulging population of "nature lovers." Snow melt would also be a silent, deadly avalanche of flash flooding with no warning as in a day or two of heavy rain. But duck logic would tell me that if one were playing in the snow last week and hiking naked this week one could expect snow to be melting. Enough said, let's get right to the exciting weather events of February.
The average temperature on The Land was 52.56 degrees. At Talking Trees and Antelope Hill, 32.02 degrees.
The average humidity on The Land was 52.94 percent. The average dew point was 35.90 degrees. There was heavy fog on February 16th that did not burn off until noon. All ducks were grounded or swimming around in water aimlessly.
The average wind speed was 3.74 mph. There were four days wind chills were recorded.
The total rain fall for the month at The Land was .34 inches bringing the total yearly amount to 1.36 inches. There were five days of measurable rain with the last rainfall on 2-22.
2-1. Sierra Nevada, Great Lakes and the North East pounded with heavy snow. Tempe Town Lake closed for water releases down the Salt River. Indonesia rains flood and series of storms devastate Sidney, Australia.
2-2. Snow and rain in Midwewest and North East. Flooding blamed for ten deaths. Heavy rain in North Carolina.
2-3. Eight to twenty inches of snow forcasted for the high country in Az. Winter storm warning for much of state above five thousand feet.
2-4. I-17 closed at Sedona exit due to heavy snow. Chains required from Globe to New Mexico on Highway 60. Two skiers missing at Lake Tahoe. Snow level down to three thousand feet. China still inundated with snow. Some train travel there takes sixty hours. Passengers hurl themselves out of windows in frustration never to be seen again.
2-5. Areas in Alaska record temperatures of 50 degrees below zero. Grand Canyon records 14 degrees below zero. Two skiers found at Lake Tahoe. Built snow cave and melted ice in lunch bag to drink. Rationed Power bars. Learned survival skills on the Discovery Channel. ( Well, I will be Goddamned! You mean the tube may have some educational value?) Tornadoes in the South. Fear of flooding in Ohio. Power still out in Central China from snow as Chinese New Year gets underway.
2-6. 61.5 inches of snow in Flagstaff. The average is 54.6 inches. Rare winter twisters hit Tn., Ark.,and Ala. Fifty four killed with twelve in a Memphis grocery store.
2-7. Avalanches in Washington State strands motorists for thirty hours. South still cleaning up from worst twisters in twenty years. Baby found alive in debris. Dog survives a week in Montana after being carried away by an avalanche.
2-8. Bush quacks over Tn. and promises money for tornado victims. Second flood in five months submerges Ohio town. Snow buries villages in India.
2-9. Study shows that ethonal use could add to Green House gas, not reduce it. Avalanche concerns in North West as storm dumps snow. North Bend, Washington has received sixteen feet of snow in last twelve days! Wind chill at International Falls, Idaho records temperatures of forty degrees below zero. Twenty one below at Bismark.
2-10. Six hundred and fifty deaths due to severe cold in Afghanistan. (Freeze to death you Son of a Bitch, Osama.) Eight foot snow drifts in Kamas, Utah. One below in Chicago. Fourteen below at International Falls.
2-11. Massive brush fires in Florida. Four generations of same family killed in Southern storms.
2-12. Central Florida under tornado warning as storm destroys two condos. Winter storms filling up resevoirs in Arizona.
2-13. San Diego Scientists say with population growth Lake Mead could be dry in thirteen years. If the lake drops more than one hundred feet Nevada loses water rights. Az. snowpack at one hundred and fifty percent. (Note, Arizona snow melt runs south and does no good for Lake Mead. Remember this.) Reservoirs downstream from the Verde at one hundred percent full, downstream from the Salt, eighty percennt. Wind gusts for North and Eastern Az. could hit sixty mph by tomorrow. Four thousand foot snow level possible.
2-14. Seven inches of snow at the Snow Bowl today. Winter storm advisory posted until tomorrow. Grass fires in Oklahoma. Three brush fires in Texas. Twenty five counties have burn bans due to dry conditions. Mountains east of San Diego receiving snow.
2-15. I-8 east of San Diego closed for twelve hours due to snow and rain. Six inches of snow in Flagstaff. Winter storm warning in S.E. Az. above three thousand feet. Willow Springs fire south of Sonoita extinguished. Caused by high winds.
2-16. Tornado threat in south Texas. Mudslides in Brazil. Avalanche kills two in Alaska. MidWest struggles with more ice storms as the South deals with more tornados.
2-17. Snow shuts down Kansas City arport. Snow melt warning for southern Az. Pacific Ocean has many low pressure systems forming. Wll affect Az. later. Heavy snow in Athens, Greece. Longest closure ever at Kansas City Airport. Severe weather in Georgia and Florida.
2-18. Tornados in Georgia and Florida level two hundred and fifty homes. Snowpack in Az. melting rapidly. Roosevelt Lake eighty four percent full, total Verde system ninety one percent full. Last year it was at sixty six percent.
2-20. Snow level drops to seven thousand feet in northern Az. North Carolina wild fire destroys homes with low humidity and high winds.
2-21. Snow Bowl receives one foot of snow.
2-22. Heavy snow in New York and Boston. Snow in Az. above fifty five hundred feet. Torrential rain kills dozens in Indonesia and contaminated drinking water is feared. Venice canals running dry from lowering sea tides. (?) Developing countries discuss climate change in Brazil. (?).
2-23. Heavy snow in Philadelphia. Schools closed because of ice. Heavy rain in California. 1.97 inches of rain in Phoenix to date.
2-29. Temperatures in Phoenix ten degrees above normal.
In last month's fine edition of the Blue Duck Weather News we introduced a monthly quote by Sean Broaduck. He fiercley negotiated writer's royalties with me. Let me make it perfectly clear I have express permission to quote the Quack. For his endeavors he may be lucky to receive a T-shirt. (Mrs. Blue Duck is still checking into this fashion statement) This month's forgettable quote is as follows; "Time, the wrath of man. Some men need more of it. Some men run out of it. Some men are buying it. Some men are doing it. But we all cherish it with the ones we love."
The song of the month is "Green, Green Grass of Home." So many artists recorded this sad lament I have no idea who wrote it. The most memorable version is a live recording byJohnny Cash from either the Folsom Prison or San Quentin Prison.
As your fine Editor in Chief, I would like to profusely thank you for reading this riveting edition of the Blue Duck Weather News. I will now send this on to the lovely Mrs. Blue Duck to clean up and post in the absolutely fantastic Blue Duck blog. Please be sure to pass this fine weather report to your friends, uncles and enemies.
Remember always, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land. Until next month, happy quacking.
MR Blue Duck
Editor and Chief Quack
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