April 2010 Blue Duck Weather News

April 2010 Weather News!

Many of you have probably wondered, or don’t care, why the fine staff at Blue Duck Weather News does not report on volcanoes or earthquakes. Your fine Editor in Chief has never wanted this report to be about all natural disasters. But when these events affect us or world climate they are note worthy.

On Easter Sunday in the afternoon I was working on Blue Duck Weather in my “office.” As I was looking at notes on my desk to type on this goddamn thing I felt wobbly and all of a sudden very dizzy. It was if my feet were and legs were swaying but there was no visual movement. I got up from my perch and noticed the water in our fifty gallon aquarium was rocking violently back and forth.

I immediately ran up into the living room and asked the lovely Mrs. BlueDuck if she felt it. The phone rang and it was TwinkyDuck fifty miles away saying they had felt the quake. At that time none of us knew there was a 7.2 magnitude earth quake in Baja, Mexico.

I thought about it from an engineering standpoint. You would think what I felt, although slight and only seconds would crack foundations, sidewalks and anything made of rigid concrete. But it showed me how supple the earth is and actually quite fluid. What we were feeling was a wave of motion below the ground. It was the ripple effect felt hundreds of miles away from the epicenter of a quite large earthquake.

As you will read in this month’s exciting edition of Blue Duck Weather the volcano that erupted in Iceland had an impact on weather and animals possibly world wide. What we didn’t report was the cancellation of International air travel for almost a week. The economic impact of that alone was devastating to the airline industry ( but that is entirely a different and corrupt story.)

Earth Day celebrated its fortieth anniversary on April 22nd. Those of you who know me realize I do my part on this day every year. But this year I was disillusioned and actually sad. Conservatives state that man has no real impact on climate change. They further state that the left worships the earth and not God. (I see no distinction between the two.)

The Left wants to turn pollution into a tax and place billions in the hands of world powers, many of them socialists. The disguise is to tax and therefore reduce pollution. The absolute purpose is wealth and control. As you will read in this weather journal it has been proposed to establish an international court of climate justice to punish those offenders who will not reduce their green house gasses. The whole thing, right and left, just makes me want to puke! If anyone thinks that mankind does not affect world climate and environmental changes just pick up today’s newspaper. We are very possibly witnessing the largest man caused oil spill in history. It is happening in the Gulf Coast and it growing by the minute.

In this amazing issue of Blue Duck Weather you will read abut wildflowers that will turn into wildfires, this season’s hurricane forecast, a nineteen year old cat stops the postal service (we don’t make this shit up), record heat in the North East right after record flooding, a once in a lifetime event worthy of photographing, the ongoing plight of Rio De Janeiro, a miracle in Florida, this past March was the WARMEST EVER RECORDED ON THE PLANET, Arizona January storms still making the news, find out when the first average ninety degree day is in Phoenix, why the Arizona winter was hard on Bald eagles, the court of climate justice, an amazing ocean discovery, new details about the Loch Ness Monster, late spring snowfall records in the eastern United States and so much more! Now let’s get to all of the news and weather facts that we think fits!

It really does no good to report the difference in the temperature from the beginning of the month to the end for The Land. It is not a true picture of how much it is really warming up. Miraculously there was a twenty five degree cool down toward the end of the month and actually happened in twenty four hours. The same thing occurred at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill.

The average temperature on The Land was 66.28 degrees. 48.38 degrees was the average in the high country of Enchanted, New Mexico.

An odd thing happened with humidity and dew points for the month. The average dew point of 28.86 was actually higher than the average humidity of 27.56 percent.

It was a windy month indeed! The average wind speed was 8.43 degrees. There were days we had peak wind gusts of over twenty five mph. It is interesting to note on extremely windy days the barometer plunged to 28.14.

Normally a dry month The Land was kissed with a tenth of an inch of rain bringing the year total to 3.27’’. Phoenix has a respectable total of 4.92’’.

Lake Mead keeps wrinkling and drying with 42% capacity. Powell is holding its own at 56%. Pleasant is 95% full while her reservoirs downstream, Bartlett and Horseshoe are at 100%. And the lake of many fine memories, Roosevelt is 100% full. The Salt River is still carrying snow runoff and all un bridge crossing will be closed late into May.

4-1- Three inches of snow in Flagstaff today for all of the fools who thought it was over.

Beautiful, sunny and in the 70s in Chicago.

Now reports state that the flooding in Rhode Island is the worst in two hundred years, not one hundred years. Most of the state is flooded and areas along the Pawtuxet River are the worst. The river crested at 20.79’, six feet over the previous record just set two weeks ago. I-95, a vital route linking Boston to New York has been closed in Rhode Island for two days.

Scotland and Northern Ireland are being pounded by snow, gale force winds and rain. Thousands are without power.

Fifty years ago the first weather satellite was launched. The first grainy photos were thought to be “beautiful.”

4-2- Maricopa County ozone season begins on April 9th. (Let’s see how many fines the EPA can levy.)

The weather is finally calming in Rhode Island but heath officials warn there is raw sewage, garbage and oil in the floodwaters. (Welcome to America comrades!)

Spring cherry blossoms exploding in Washington, D.C.

The Red River in Fargo, North Dakota finally recedes to “safe levels.”
A rescue team recovers the body of a missing climber near the summit of Mount. Shasta in California. He and his partner were trapped by high winds six days ago. The man was left in a snow cave while his partner went for help.

4-3- A dog in Tonopah, Arizona protects her owner from being bit by a rattlesnake. The dog blocked her and was bitten in the head. The dog is expected to survive. (Editor’s note: This too happened to the Lovely Mrs. BlueDuck on her very own porch by a very good dog we still miss.)

Homeland Security, Whatever, Napolitano flies over Rhode Island and is considering additional federal aid. The state is already one of the hardest hit by the recession.

The first of nineteen reindeer calves are born at the only research center of it’s kind in North America. The birth took place in Fairbanks, Alaska and the little shit weighs 17lbs.

A former Los Angeles fire official receives ninety days in jail for beating a dog to death. Using a 12lb. Rock the sick bastard bashed in the head of a six month old German shepherd mix.

4-4- A Red Flag Warning is issued for Tucson and a High Wind Advisory in Flagstaff.

Landslides in Peru caused by heavy rain have killed twenty nine people and twenty five are missing.

4-5- I-40 near Winslow, Arizona is closed due to heavy winds.

The iconic Bookman’s in Flagstaff collapsed from snow on January 21st. The old building is being demolished and a new one it to be built.

4-6- The quote on the front page of the Arizona Republic: “From wildflowers to wildfires. Wet winter and lush desert growth means an increased fire risk from elevations of five thousand feet and below.”

Bees attack a man at 27th Avenue and Bell in Phoenix. He is in critical condition. The man was working on a crew that was tearing down a closed steak joint when he disturbed the bees.

A retired police officer in the White Mountains believes Big Foot still exists. He has measured and photographed 21’’ footprints.

The North East is seeing more major storms. “Extreme precipitation events” are in line with a sixty year study done by the National Weather Service rainfall records. Storm that produce an inch or more rainfall daily are becoming more frequent.

Floods and mudslides in Rio De Janeiro kill eighty one people and two thousand homes are threatened.

In front of fifty people at a South Carolina zoo a father baboon throws and kills his infant.

4-7- The Arizona Snow Bowl breaks all time attendance record due to abundant winter snowfall. It has been open for 140 days in a row.

The Colorado State University forecasting team predicts a 69% chance of at least one hurricane making U.S. landfall this season. The season begins June 1st and fifteen named tropical storms are likely.

Glaciers continue to shrink in Glacier National Park, Montana. There once were 150. There are now 25.

A record high of 90 degrees for this date in New York City.

Eleven inches of rain fell in Rio De Janeiro in twenty four hours. This is a new record breaking the record of nine inches in 1966.

4-8- Abundant rainfall in the Valley of the Sun and the spread of Africanized bees throughout the state has bee attacks on the rise. Since March 15th there have been fifteen emergency responses to bee calls.

After record flooding record heat in the North East with temperatures 90 degrees and above. Boston’s first ninety is usually on June 5th. A Red Flag Warning is issued for much of southern New England. ( And you thought they only occurred out here in the arid West!)

Two hundred and now buried by mud and feared dead in Brazil mudslides.

4-9- Roscoe the dog shot four times in the head and survives. Maricopa Sheriff’s Department investigating the cause and who did it.

The worst drought on record closes Caribbean schools for lack of clean drinking water. It began last October, normally the wettest month. One thousand brush fires have erupted.

Canada’s annual seal hunt begins today despite a shrinking worldwide demand for pelts.

A child snuck into the elephant exhibit at a Serbia zoo. His grandfather was badly injured trying to rescue the boy.

4-10- Consider this, it will “stagger you out of your mind’’; from January until March the Salt River ran at 90,000cfs into Roosevelt Lake.

Some spring turkey hunts in Arizona may be hindered by snow pack and closed forest roads. There is still significant snow above 7400’.

Brazilian mudslide death toll up to 205 while heavy rain continues to fall. In some areas there are mounds of mud and garbage 40’ high. Fourteen thousand people are evacuated.

The British Postal Service suspends mail delivery to a woman because of “nasty injuries” to one of its carriers. The injuries were caused by a nineteen year old “attack” cat. (Editor’s note: When I was a young duck living on my own I had a fine cat named Moon. That fine cat would hide in the tree outside my door and literally jump on people as they walked by. The landlord threatened to kick me out if I did not get rid of Moon. This fine and twisted cat used to shred the stockings of the Lovely Ms. BlueDuck when she came to visit me in my squalid happiness. I did not buy Moon and no one gave him to me. The cat just seemed to find me and he never attacked me. We were both young and wild. I will never know what happened to Moon. One day he took off to find other “wilds” than me.)

4-11- Fire Watch is issued for Maricopa County. North East Arizona is under a Red Flag Warning.

Sea ports are closed as a sandstorm sweeps across Egypt. There are eleven foot waves on the Red Sea. The wall of dust was moving at 22mph.

A circus elephant in Pennsylvania kicks his handler killing him. It has been ruled an accident because the elephant has a gentle reputation. ( I wonder if an elephant fart causes a spontaneous reaction of kicking.)

4-12- 52mph winds recorded in Winslow and Flagstaff.

As new mudslides threaten Brazil twenty six hundred families are evacuated. The death toll in Rio De Janeiro is up to 231 people.

4-13- The average first 90 degree day in Phoenix is April 3rd. The latest was on May 12, 1912. So far no nineties.

The Walker Fire erupts near Nogales, Arizona. It started with high winds and is located in the Santa Rita Mountains with three hundred acres burned.

After deadly mudslides in Rio officials are evicting 2600 people and demolishing “slums” in risk areas. “People cried while toting appliances and furniture to unknown destinations as workers using heavy equipment and sledge hammers demolished homes.” ( Quite possibly a wet version of “The Grapes of Wrath.)

If only I was there to photograph this: In Lima, Peru a huge glacier broke off and plunged into a lake. It caused a 75’ Tsunami that killed three people and destroyed a water treatment plant. The piece of ice measured 1,640’ by 656’.

China overtakes Germany for the number two position of wind power generated electricity. The United States is still number one with 35 gig watts, 36% of the world’s wind generation.

An eleven year old girl with mild autism missing in the Florida wilds for days has been found alive. A single rescuer found her in alligator and snake infested woods and swamps.

4-14- The fire that started in the Coronado National Forest was human caused and still burning.

A cyclone in India kills eighty nine with winds over 100mph. Fifty thousand “huts” (homes in my opinion) were destroyed.

The eleven year old missing girl found alive in the Florida woods yesterday was found by a fellow church member. The rescuer told reporters “God led me to her.” (Amen, Brother.)

4-15- The first 90 degree temperature in Phoenix for the year.

Arizona firefighters breathe a sigh of relief from all of the snow in the mountains. The fire danger will be very low this spring. In may there are sometimes up to one hundred fires in Flagstaff alone.

Another fire erupts in south east Arizona.

THE WORLD EXPERIENCED THE WARMEST MARCH SINCE RECORD KEEPING BEGAN IN 1880. She was 1.39 degrees above normal with a worldwide average temperature of 56.3 degrees.

Two men in a South Carolina motel got into an argument over loud music. One of the men smacked the other in the face with a four foot python. The man “surrendered” the snake to family before police hauled his ass to jail.

4-17- The lower Salt River in Arizona will continue to deliver snow melt until May. The amount of water will be 326 billion gallons!

Iceland’s erupting volcano has only melted one third of the ice cap above it. Major flooding, cooler temperatures and acid rain likely. The ash may impact global climate.

A lynx trapped in Canada and released in Colorado in 2003 traveled twelve hundred miles back to Canada. It was caught in a trap and perished. (Who says are fates aren’t sealed from the day of birth, animals too)

4-18- First 90 at The Land. Summer is on the way!

As heavy rains wash out roads in Jamaica hundreds of people are stranded. Rain has been pouring for three days. Only days before the Caribbean island was facing its worst drought in 100 years. All residents in low lying areas are told to be prepared for evacuation.

4-19- 950 Arizona homes flooded in January are still waiting for federal aid. Five Arizona counties were declared then as major disaster areas.

Volcanic ash in Iceland places farm animals in grave danger. The fluoride in the ash creates acid in the animal’s stomachs corroding the intestines and causes hemorrhages. It also weakens bones and teeth fall out.

A seventeen year old North Carolina boy mauled by a “pet “ tiger when the was three has been blind since the attack. For the last four years he has been a member of the varsity wrestling team and posting a winning record each season. The only special rule is opponents are required to stay in verbal contact with the boy during the full match.
The boy plays video games using an eleven speaker surround sound system. “I can hear the zombies coming before they get there” explaining his success with the game “Nazi Zombies.”

4-20- Wind Advisories posted for northwest Arizona.

Twenty five degrees cooler at The Land than yesterday. A five degree wind chill puts the afternoon high two degrees cooler than the morning low (got that?) I-40 between Winslow and Flagstaff closed due to blowing dust and poor visibility. (Editor’s note: I simply don’t understand how there can be blowing dust at that elevation. If my weak memory serves me well there is nothing but tall pines and vegetation.)

4-22- Hayduke Lives! I was blessed with this fine Earth Day with a tenth of an inch of rain. She gave me something in return for all that I have done in her honor on a day when I could do nothing but appreciate.
Three inches of snow in Pinetop to boot!

RyDuck reports of tornado warnings and green skies with golf ball sized hail.

A “nor’wester” tornado strides India. Up to one million homeless and 137 folks dead. 200,000 homes destroyed or damaged.
4-23- Snow in Arivaca, Arizona on this day, the first time in recorded weather history.

Icy roads this morning from Prescott to Chino Valley.

After a harsh Arizona winter fewer Bald eagles are nesting. The winter rains caused deeper, muddier water ways making it difficult for the birds to catch fish. If the birds nest too late the young are very vulnerable to the increased heat.

Three hundred twisters of varying sizes reported in Texas last night. (I knew this state was big, but Good God!.)

Oceans around the world absorb one million tons of carbon dioxide per hour! Because of this the oceans are thirty percent more acidic then before the Industrial Revolution two hundred years ago. There are grave concerns by scientists about the effects of plant and animal sea life.

40,000 rubber ducks will be released into the Arizona Canal in Scottsdale. The “duck race” raises money to help sick children. (This warms the shackles of my heart!)

Although we bitch when storms knock out electricity for hours, days and even up to a week 1.6 billion people in the world live with no electricity at all.

4-24- A powerful storm dropped snow, sleet and rain to much of Colorado. There were a half dozen tornado sightings.

A three quarter mile wide tornado sweeps across six Mississippi counties leaving two dead. Buildings have roofs torn off and Yazoo Mississippi looks like a “lumber yard.” All of the damage was done in one minute.
Until this week it was the slowest beginning of a tornado season on record. There have been forty six tornado reports, some with wind gusts of 200mph.

Bolivia’s president is creating a “Mother Earth Ministry” to promote the planet’s “rights.” He wants to establish an international court with the power to punish nations that fail to reduce emissions.

A German shepherd in Alaska leads troopers down a winding, forested road to his owner’s workshop in flames.

4-25- Pinal County, Arizona has issued a rabies advisory after a rabid bobcat attacked a Mammoth man. The man was at his home when the “kitty” sprang from under a parked vehicle.

A cat run over by a vehicle between Superior and Globe may be a rare ocelot. The animal is a federal endangered species.

4-26- A massive landslide caused by heavy rains buries part of a divided highway in Taiwan. Rescuers are searching for victims in cars buried in the rubble. The slide left debris the size of two soccer stadiums.

4-27- High Wind Warning posted for northern Arizona. A High Wind Advisory posted for Phoenix.

(Editor’s Note: They say we know more about space then we do about the oceans. This may very well be one of the most fascinating, if not scary reports we have ever given you. Scary because of the phenomenal amount of power that exists deep in the ocean.) Scientists have found a fast moving ocean current with the volume of forty Amazon Rivers near Antarctica. The current is a key part of global ocean circulation patterns that help control the planet’s climate. The current is two miles below the ocean’s surface moving at 39.5’ per minute with 12 million cubic yards a second of very cold and salty water.

4-28- Winds so strong in northern Arizona I-40 is closed between Flagstaff and Winslow. Hurricane force winds recorded at 73mph. This low front has dropped the temperature 25 degrees in twenty four hours.

Wind gusts reported of 125mph in northern Nevada. Sustained winds in Reno of 63mph.

Up to two feet of snow falls in northern New York, Vermont and New Hampshire. With temperatures in the eighties in March many people have already removed their snow tires. Snow fall records were set the past two days at Burlington International Airport. The last time is has snowed this late into spring is 1993.

Newly released records from the 1930s show that police in Scotland were convinced that the Loch Ness Monster existed. They were so convinced they worried about big game hunters eager to capitalize on the mysterious beast. The loch, in which many people believe the animal still exists, is one of the deepest fresh water lakes in the world at 750’ deep.

Texas Governor Rick Perry carries a .380 Ruger when he jogs for “snake protection.” While jogging a coyote threatened the family’s Labrador and he shot the fucker!

4-30- The federal government declared counties in Arizona disaster areas in March from January’s snow and rain. Today the government denies relief to victims. “There was not enough damage to provide individuals money.”

An “enormous environmental disaster” with the oil slick near Louisiana from the fated oil rig that exploded and sank last week. This may be worse than the Valdeze disaster in Alaska twenty one years ago. Nesting and spawning is going on for thousands of migratory animals that nest near this state. There are twenty National Wildlife refuges in danger.

A tornado victim in Missouri killed last week died shielding her three sons. She was found pinned by two collapsed walls, a washing machine and refrigerator. Two of the sons were beneath her and a third at her feet. They survived.

A Pennsylvania hunter has been found guilty of using pastries to bait and kill a 707 pound bear, a state record for this hunting season. Game officials became suspicious when the man was spotted before the hunting season driving a truck loaded with snacks through a heavily wooded hunting area.

The Mighty BroadDuck’s “insightful” contribution is absent from the month’s Blue Duck Weather. He is too tired to quack after beginning a new job in the “wilds” of Michigan. He is also pissed because the only reward he ever received from his tireless efforts was a stupid t-shirt. Hopefully he finds the guidance and inspiration to offer some of his literary wisdom next month.

But never fear! We have a brand new contribution this month from JerDuck. The story he sent me is amazing and unbelievable. You can call it a one in a trillion luck of fate, Mrs. BlueDucks’ pin balls or staged, it simply doesn’t matter. A brother and a sister hit a coyote while traveling 75mph in Nevada. They thought they killed it and traveled onward. Eight hours later they found the animal embedded behind the front fender and grille of their vehicle. The lucky dug was very much alive and survived with only paw scrapes!

Lo and Behold! We are out of mysterious, natural weather predictions as supplied by RyDuck. The truth must be known. We stole them from a camper’s survival handbook. Mr. RyDuck needs to get busy. Take a toot from that hollow read and dream up some more natural weather facts!

The ever inquisitive TwinkyDuck’s contribution is right in line with the tornado season spawning in other parts of the country. And yes, Arizona has experienced “official” tornadoes. “Arizona experiences few tornadoes, however it is possible when atmospheric conditions become just right. Tornadoes do not spring from thunder storms as many people think. They form in association with thunderstorms known as super cells. These cells are unique in that they contain strong rotation within the core of the storm. A Super cell recorded on Doppler Radar which produces a “hook echo” is what the National Weather Service uses to issue a Tornado Warning. This happened in Fountain Hills in January, 2010. The last one was recorded on September 14th, 1999 in Crown King.”

And as promised last month another stolen quote from me from the book “River Horse, Across America By Boat”, the story of two friends who with a little help from family and friends transverse the great rivers of America from the East Coast to the West. “After an hour of what I can only call terror, I realized my apprehension was the worst aspect of what was going on, and I sought some measure to kill or at least still it, to make death nothing more than a disappointment. In the bludgeoning- even the air in the pilothouse seemed t be tossing about- I came up with a solution: the wind was rising, the lake was not abating, and I unquestionably was going to die in a watery coffin of a C-Dory, so it was pointless to be afraid, for fear is useful only to those who yet have hope.”

The weather song of the month is not a weather song. Inspired by The JerDuck contribution it is actually an animal song by the Lost Gonzo Band: “Dead Armadillo By The Side Of The Road.”
Until next month remember, Pioneers took bullets. Settlers took land.

The Distinguished, Honorable and boring MR BlueDuck.