May 2010 Blue Duck Weather News

May 2010 Weather News!

At the beginning of last month’s fine edition of Blue Duck Weather I informed my faithful readers that this journal was not intended to be a natural disaster report, as with volcanoes and earthquakes. But I did inform you that when they affect the weather, animals or environment the reporting would begin. Little did I know this would have to include man caused environmental disasters and how naïve of me. Your fine staff reported on April 30th that the worst environmental disaster may be unfolding before our eyes with the oil leak in the Gulf Coast. Well here it is folks and we have a massive case of The Tar Baby Blues!

This is the end of May and not one thing has been abated or changed since the oil leak began (the lunatics keep referring to it as an oil spill. The Exxon Valdez in 1989 was a spill. This is massive diarrhea gushing from a twenty one inch pipe five thousand feet below the ocean surface.) As of this writing “conservative” estimates may be fifty million fucking gallons of oil has escaped into the Atlantic Ocean. It has far surpassed the Valdez disaster.

The environmental impact has been hardly reported. All I keep seeing and reading are who is to blame, who is going to be sued and all attempts thus far to plug the shit hole have not been successful. The only rag to report on the devastating impact on the environment was the extremely left and liberal Rolling Stone. They attacked their President for ignoring the problem and not taking action. George Bush was attacked for ignoring the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina five years ago. But here we are five years later and poor old Louisiana is taking it right up the ass again! But sorrowfully this one isn’t just a matter of cleaning up and rebuilding a battered state. The consequences of this one are incomprehensible.

The official beginning of hurricane season is June 1st. Can you imagine if this shit is churned up and slung in the face of the earth and far past the coastal communities of the Gulf Coast? No wonder at the end of this month President Obama proclaimed “Plug the damn hole!”

I saw an interview with a life long local fisherman in Louisiana. He was crying, stating that his livelihood may be gone. He said “You may as well give us a noose or a lethal injection.” I felt so sorry for this man because the lethal injection has already begun. The by products of crude oil will be touched, breathed, eaten and drank for years and years to come. I would much rather report on the effects of weather. As devastating as it can be it cleanses in its own way. With this we are talking about the devil’s poison.

Enough of this depressing shit for now. Let’s get on to less depressing shit. In this fine edition of Blue Duck Weather you will be amazed at features such as the largest tornado study ever attempted, record rain in Nashville, how it hurt the music industry and how the musicians themselves helped the relief effort. Read also about the priceless musical instruments and who once owned them lost by the flood. Find out which city has the dirtiest air in the Country, more sickening wildlife poaching in Arizona, what an Oarfish is, “climate forced extinction ( a brand new term on me), cap and trade coming our way, there is a “fox in the henhouse” with the latest facts on the sole jaguar death we reported last month, the danger of buffer grass, the impact from Iceland’s volcano eruption on air travel, hurricane forecasts worse than first predicted, a man who kills a deer with a box cutter and the first tropical storm of the season proves to be a killer!

On the local level May was extremely mild for hot temperatures. There were only two days in Phoenix where it reached one hundred degrees and one at The Land. I expected the mild temperatures to hit the record books but it didn’t. But we paid the price with wind. It is the only thing that cold fronts in the desert usually bring. April is this state’s windiest month but it paled with May. The average wind speed was 8.37mph. On May 2nd at The Land there was a sustained wind speed of 34mph with a five degree wind chill! The quail chicks were blowing around like ping pong balls and it was hard to tell if my wobbly legs were from wind or too many Keystoners.

But the heat is coming. The average temperatures at The Land were 16.50 degrees warmer at the end of the month than the beginning. It was 22.50 degrees warmer at Talking Trees and Antelope Hill.

The average temperature on The Land for May was 78.91 degrees and 54.95 degrees at Antelope Hill and Talking Trees in New Mexico.

The average humidity at The Land was 20.35%. The average dew point, surprisingly higher at 28.96 degrees.

There was no rain at all. The year’s total for The Land is 3.32’’. Phoenix has 4.92 impressive inches for the year.

As we are always monitoring the lake levels, the absolute key to our survival, the following are the current capacities; Lake Mead is down to 41%, Powell is still rising slightly at 57%, Pleasant is 91% full and Roosevelt is as full as a pregnant goose at 100%. Now the day by day weather events that you have been dying to read or will be dead when you read them.

5-1- Red Flag Warnings posted for all of southern Arizona. This is the first average day of the first one hundred degree day. The latest is June 18th.

1.6 million gallons of crud oil has spread into the Gulf Coast since the April 20th explosion on a well rig that killed eleven. The slick is 130 miles long and 75 miles wide.

An Arkansas tornado kills one and injures twenty five. Flash Flood Warnings across the state with FOUR INCHES OF RAIN PER HOUR.

If the conditions are right any storm can turn into a tornado in seconds. One hundred researchers will deploy massive instrumentation across the Great Plains to monitor and track tornadoes. The project is named Vortex 2 (Verification of the Origins of Rotations in Tornadoes Experiment 2)

5-2- Snow in Flagstaff and Winslow, rain in Tucson. Sustained winds at The Land are 20-25mph with peak wind gusts of 34mph. (Glad I’m not camping out in that shit!) Wind gusts of 58mph in Goodyear, 44mph in Casa Grande and 43mph in Phoenix. Five vehicle accident on I-10 near Eloy caused by blowing dust kills one person.

The oil slick in the Gulf has tripled in size in the last two days.

Heavy rains soaked Tennessee yesterday leaving five dead and hundreds are evacuated.

According to Japanese government scientists Super typhoon frequency could rise ten fold by the end of this century. They conclude the cause is global warming.

5-3- Due to the oil slick in the Gulf the federal government closes commercial recreational fishing for at least ten days from the mouth of the Mississippi River to Pensacola, Florida.

The death toll from flooding in Tennessee and Kentucky is up to twenty nine people. There are fears that more bodies will be recovered as the Cumberland River recedes, some of them homeless folks who drowned. The Cumberland floods damaged the Opryland Hotel, Opry Mills Mall and even the latest site of the Grand Ole Opry House. In downtown Nashville damage was sustained at the Country Music Hall of Fame, LP Field and the Bridestone Arena.

Lightning kills sixteen in Bangladesh in sixteen districts.

5-4- Wind Advisories posted for northern Arizona.

Western Pinal county has some of the dirtiest air in the nation, especially Maricopa. Dust kicked off of the desert and feedlots are creating deadly dust storms and prompted the EPA to warn of heavy sanctions.

A ten thousand dollar reward is being offered by the Arizona Game and Fish Department for a pair of Bighorn sheep that were poached. The sheep were killed at Canyon Lake on April 19th or 20th. “The two majestic sheep rams were shot along the southern shore of Canyon Lake, west of Beer Can Point. Due to the rugged area investigators believe the poachers reached the area by boat at night. One ram had the head and horns removed and taken while the rest of the carcass was left to rot. The second was left to waste with nothing removed.” ( These sick bastards will get their just rewards!)

The Gulf oil spill may be ten times larger than first expected.

5-6- The first “significant fire” of the season has erupted in Arizona. The 89 Mesa fire is north of Flagstaff near highway 89. Strong winds aren’t helping firefighters and it has burned 350 acres. There are Red Flag Warnings in Flagstaff with wind gusts of 35-55mph. Highway 89 is closed.

British Petroleum has succeeded in shutting off one of three leaks gushing crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

The storm death toll up to thirty people in the South. Nashville mayor says the damage could top one billion dollars.

The El Nino weather pattern is weakening and could be over by June 1st. If so it could complicate forecasting this summer’s hurricanes. El Nino years seem to have fewer storms than normal in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico.

Twenty nine people killed and 70,000 “relocated” after a tornado sweeps through southwestern China.

The biblical Jordan River could be a dry wasteland by 2011. “Much of what remains is a canal of sewage.” (It’s enough to make you hang your head and cry.)

5-7- The 89 Mesa fire is at 550 acres and 73% contained. It was started by Game and Fish officials conducting welding work on a wildlife water tank.

Louisiana bans fishing west of the Mississippi due to floating oil.

The worst flooding in two hundred years is expected in parts of rural Kentucky. 73 counties have declared States of Emergency.

From Nashville; “One couple was swept away by flood waters while driving to dinner, part of a routing they cherished while in retirement. Another couple died on their way to church, while a third couple was found dead in their flooded home. After decades of marriage the three wives and three husbands died within hours of each other.”

800,000 square feet of the 4,000,000 square feet of the Opryland (tourist dump, trust me I’ve been there) is damaged by floodwaters. Country performers such as Kenney Chesney called out for donations. A charity concert is planned. (Editor’s note; my cousin lives in Hendersonville, north of Nashville in a lakeside community. I asked her if her home had any flooding damage. She told me the water got up to her driveway but not in her garage. She then said her community is now known as the “town by the lake is now the town in the lake.”)

5-8- 89 Mesa fire still at 70% containment. A new fire, the South Fork fire has burned 250 acres in south east Arizona. Red Flag Warnings are posted until tomorrow.

Efforts to cap the oil leak in the Gulf have failed. 200,000 gallons of oil daily spill into the waters five thousand feet deep.

A cloud of ash from Iceland’s volcano is 1250 miles wide and has reached Greece and Spain.

The world’s largest beaver dam has been located in Canada. The dam is 2788 feet long.

In Kentucky rescuers have found the body of a kayaker missing for a week. He is the 31st victim from the flooding in the South.

5-9- 89 Mesa fire still burning but 95% contained although there are 35mph winds. A new one, the Hunter fire is burning near Sierra Vista and started yesterday.

Oil slicked birds are being cleaned in Florida, Alabama and Mississippi.

5-10- 89 Mesa fire still at 95% containment with wind gusts of 53mph. Red Flag Warnings issued again. A ban on open fires goes into effect today for Phoenix and Maricopa county.

3.5 million gallons of oil have leaked into the Gulf since the oil rig explosion last month.

Tornadoes pound Oklahoma with 130 miles of damage in their swath.

Forty three people killed in India by violent thunderstorms, many were crushed to death by uprooted trees.

5-11- Hurricane force winds close I-40 east and west of Flagstaff. This is the eighth time since April the interstate has been closed due to poor visibility, Tractor-trailers and campers are blown over.

Yesterday’s tornadoes killed five and injured fifty eight in Oklahoma. 77mph wind gusts and baseball size hail reported. 65,000 people are without power.

The North West U.S. enters fire season with drier than normal conditions following a mild winter and not much snow. The northern Rocky Mountain states are affected.

5-12- “ Oil spill raising worst case fears. Livelihood of thousands and the Gulf ecosystems at risk…. Unlike the Alaska spill, which coated a rock covered bay, this oil will cling to a sponge like coast entering the pores of mangrove forests, sea grass beds and the breeding grounds for crabs, shrimp and oysters.” ( In other words, we’re fucked!) Four million gallons of black, gooey shit is the latest estimate of the leak.

RyDuck reports three inches of snow and 31 degrees from Colorado.

Super computers play a big role in forecasting tornadoes but potential victims are slow to react to avoid danger. Days before the deadly tornadoes hit Oklahoma people were warned that a powerful storm was on its way. Scientists even predicted almost to the hour when it would strike.

A skid row shelter in Los Angeles served tacos make from elk, deer, sheep, pig, black bear and antelope donated by the Sportsman channel. It was a “wild night.” (fucking corny but we will take it. Thanks to benevolent sportsmen in California.)

5-13- Four million gallons of oil now and it continues to puke uncontained.

A spring storm dumps three feet of snow in the mountains of central Wyoming and a foot of snow in the mountains of Colorado.

107 acre wildfire burning in California threatens 232 homes. (Here we go again!)

A giant Oarfish was found by fishermen in Sweden. It was twelve feet long and normally live in very deep water. The last one seen in Swedish waters was one hundred and thirty six years ago. At first the fishermen who found it thought the fish was a large piece of plastic.

5-14- Lizards are becoming extinct in many places and scientists are warning it is because of warming temperatures. Although lizards need the sun to warm them into activity, if it gets too hot, they spend their time in the shade where they can’t hunt for food. According to one scientist “it heralds that we have entered a new age, the age of climate forced extinctions. They are not in the future, they are happening now.”

5-15- The man who trapped the only known living jaguar in Arizona last February has sentenced to five years probation and during that time he is not allowed to trap. He was a contract trapper hired by Arizona Fish and Game to trap other large animals for study and then release them. Once the cat was captured Game and Fish decided to learn more about the animal. The jaguar was sedated, fitted with a satellite radio transmitter and released. The cat later became sick with acute kidney failure and was recaptured and euthanized. The man admitted placing three snares with jaguar scat. He said this was not authorized by Game and Fish. (Something is wrong with this story as you will read more later.)

It has been a wet week across the Plains. Parts of Iowa has received five inches of rain and Iowa three inches. One man was swept away in his vehicle by a flash flood. The Missouri River is expected to crest seven feet above flood stage, the second highest level in sixteen years.

Iceland’ volcano raising hell again with more angry eruptions.

A California condor chick, the first to be born in a national park in a century, is sick with lead poisoning. The chick became sick after eating meat contaminated with the fragments of lead bullets.

A young Gray whale that spent the last week in a Southern California harbor has died and washed onto a beach.

5-16- The Gulf oil leak may have even higher stakes. This cold be one of the strongest U.S. hurricane seasons on record. Storms could propel crude oil over vast expanses of sea. A stronger hurricane season is forecast because recent Atlantic Basin readings showed water temperatures at a near record for the season. El Nino, which creates wind shear that can prevent Gulf hurricanes from forming, has subsided.
A massive plume of oil ten miles long and three miles wide has been discovered just 1500’ above the ocean’s floor by scientists.

5-17- Oil hit shore today, fifty miles from the scene of the explosion. Millions of gallons of oil may hit the “loop current” sending it all the way to the East Coast.

Country music stars raise 1.5 million for Nashville’s flood relief effort.

Heavy rains cause four drowning deaths in southern Poland and Hungary.

The first four months of this year have been HEAT RECORD SETTERS ON THIS PLANET. (Your fine staff at Blue Duck Weather reported April only and were not aware of the previous three months.)

5-18- A Wind Advisory is posted for northern Arizona.

Federal prosecutors have filed charges against a second man, a resident of Arvica, Arizona, of helping snare the endangered jaguar that later died. Both men were accused of luring the cat with scent.

Tar balls are found on the beaches of Key West, Florida. A federal fishing ban now covers 45,0000 square miles.

Flooding in southern Poland kills five and official close the Auschwitz Birkenau Memorial site to protect holocaust archives and artifacts. This is the first time the site has been closed due to weather. Thousands are evacuated and rail travel is stopped.

5-19- New Mexico wildlife officials may remove desert bighorn sheep from its endangered species list. The population has grown from seventy in 1980 to five hundred in six mountain ranges. Transplanting and mountain lion control have helped the numbers increase. “The threshold for delisting a state population is five hundred, with at least three separate herds of one hundred or more.”

5-20- Fire Warnings are being issued for northern Arizona tomorrow due to high winds and dry conditions. Beginning tomorrow also a fire ban goes into effect on all BLM land along the Colorado River in Arizona and California.

The jaguar’s death investigation isn’t over. Game and Fish and federal government prosecutors want to know if higher ups in Game and Fish knew about the illegal scent snaring. (Bingo!)

The Gulf oil spill may be nineteen times worse than thought. New video footage indicates as much as four million gallons of crude per day may be spewing from the broken well head. Previous estimates were two hundred and ten thousand gallons a day. Oil is washing up to the beaches in Venice, Louisiana.

Six tornadoes strike in Oklahoma. They were in sparsely populated areas but warning extend as far south and east as Oklahoma City and Tulsa. Baseball size hail has fallen.

Twenty acres have burned in a wildfire near Corona, California. Wind is a concern.

Cyclone Laila slams south east India with fifteen deaths and fifty thousand evacuated. Nine foot high waves pound the coast. Before the actual cyclone struck some areas received ONE FOOT of rain.

In the most “comprehensive report ever on climate change” the National Academy of Sciences called for a “tax on carbon emissions, a cap and trade for such emissions or some other strong action to curb run away global warming.”
This week both the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and NASA reported that 2009 was the warmest year in world wide human history.

5-22- I-40 closed east and west of Flagstaff due to wind and dust.

A non native brush known as buffelgrass can spread flames quickly across Arizona deserts. It thrives in dry weather and rugged, rocky terrain. It is a native of South Africa and India and was brought to Arizona as livestock forage and soil stabilizer in the 50s. It was eventually banned.

Grand Canyon rangers have recovered the body of a man who ran up to massive gorge and jumped in.

4-23- A historic day on The Land for RyDuck’s visit. A high of only seventy three degrees with a three degree wind chill.

I-40 closed again due to dust and wind.

5-24- The oil slick in the Gulf is now the size of Rhode Island and Delaware.

The extent of flooding in Nashville could have been more accurately predicted if the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers had kept the National Weather Service up to date about how much water it was releasing into the Cumberland River. Flows were adjusted twenty two times in one day but the corps only communicated with the NWS five times. 13.5 inches of rain fell in thirty six hours made this flood especially challenging. It was like a flash flood of the Cumberland River, something that sounds impossible for such a large body of water.

The worst flooding in over ten years has left fifteen dead, thousands evacuated and 2.5 billion dollars in damages in Poland. Water knocked a 165’ hole in a dike.

5-25- Heavy oil is killing miles of Louisiana marshlands. The oil leaking is turning black which means less natural gas is being released in the mix. Obama proclaims “Close the damn hole!” if this well is not sealed it could release oil into the ocean for the rest of our lives.

Floods from heavy rains in southern China have killed 115 people, 21 missing and 685,000 evacuated!

The volcano in Iceland is quiet after forty days of eruption. European air space is free for the first time. One hundred thousand flights have been grounded since the eruptions began. (Editor’s note: Sadly there has only been one report that I have seen about the affects of this phenomenon on weather, animals and ground crops. There have been hundreds about the immediate economic impact to the flight industry.)

5-26- The EPA warns Maricopa county there can be no more excuses about air quality. Arizona can no longer blame dust storms for high pollution readings. The county is allowed three violations in a three year period. There were four violations since 2008 alone.

One hundred miles of the Louisiana coastline is soaked with oil.

Two Cleveland police officers have been suspended fro driving by a roadside human corpse, mistaking it for a dead deer. They failed to slow or stop their vehicle to investigate and made a false report. They called a highway crew to remove a dead deer from the side of the road.

5-27- Ozone Advisory posted for Maricopa county but Red Flag Warnings and High Wind Warnings are issued for Flagstaff with 40mph wind gusts.

On day 38 scientists are saying the Gulf oil leak is larger than the Alaskan Valdez oil spill in 1989. This is the largest man caused disaster in U.S. history.

Record highs in New England. Providence, Rhode Island 95 degrees, breaking the old record of 91 set in 1965.
Hartford, Connecticut 98 degrees, breaking the 94 set in 1965.
Worchester, Massachusetts 93, breaking the record of 90 set in 1932.

Heavy flooding in Massachusetts raised Walden Pond four feet above average. Daily visitors are cut in half to protect the higher ground, now at water level from foot traffic and trash.

“Lost in the Flood: Rare Gear Destroyed in Nashville. As torrential rains fell on Nashville in early May, swelling the Cumberland River and causing near biblical flooding, Johnny Cash bassist Dave Roe was watching TV- and saw the overspill heading toward Soundcheck, the 160,000 square foot rehearsal and storage space where he kept his gear. “ I thought, Oh fuck- I hadn’t even thought of that,” Roe says. When Roe visited the space he found 30 of his basses submerged in four feet of water.

At Soundcheck millions of dollars of gear was lost- much of it irreplaceable vintage instruments belonging to artists including John Fogerty, Peter Frampton, Steve Earle, Vince Gill, Brad Paisley, and Keith Urban. There were guitars lost that belonged to Jimi Hendrix and Pete Townshend”.

5-28- Brush fire near I-17 near Table Mesa Road in the north valley of Phoenix. Wind Advisory posted for northern Arizona.

Two human caused fires burning in the Coronado National Forest. One has burned 150 acres, the other 500.

Front page of the Arizona Republic: “Oil spill is worst in U.S. history. Two teams of scientists have calculated the well has been spewing 500,000 gallons to one million per day. Even with a conservative estimate eighteen million gallons have leaked so far. 60,000 square miles have been closed to fishing.”

Fast moving wildfire threatens 100 homes in eastern Alaska.

Now seven major Atlantic hurricanes forecast for this season.

5-29- First West Nile virus infected mosquito of the year discovered in Gilbert, Arizona. (buy a bug zapper twinki...love mom)

The first time Tahoe has snowboarding in May due to an abundance of spring snow.

Guatemala is struck by the first 2010 tropical storm named Agatha. Heavy rains have dislodged a boulder that killed four people. Ten to thirty inches of rain expected before it is over.

A convict at prison in Washington uses a box cutter to kill a deer tangled in netting at the prison’s pheasant farm. Investigators acting on a tip found 15 pounds of venison in a break room. They don’t know what he intended to do with the meat. The break room has no cooking equipment and no camp fires are allowed at the prison. ( Hasn’t it been said that human killers first become animal killers for no apparent reason?)

5-30- 1200 acre wildfire in south east Arizona near Wilcox.

Death toll from Agatha in Guatemala up to sixty three from rock and mudslides, eleven missing.

5-31- First one hundred degree day at The Land.( I observed a record 22 midsize quail chicks in one covey here today. They say abundant spring rainfall helps the quail population. Along with me feeding them our Land has been officially named a Wildlife preserve by the U.S. Wildlife Federation. I have the sign at the entrance to The Land to prove it. Now if the lovely Mrs. Blueduck would let me pop a few for a fine meal that is what I call managed hunting!) (forget it...mrs duck...saver of small animals & large..& all.)

Livestock virus discovered in Cochise county, Arizona. One cattle ranch is quarantined.

The Arizona Game and Fish Department has trapped and removed a 62 pound alligator snapping turtle in a pond at the Phoenix Zoo. (I wouldn’t want that fucker to grab any appendage on me!)

Death toll from Agatha is up to 142 in Central America. 112,000 people in Guatemala are evacuated. One coastal community has received TWELVE INCHES OF RAIN IN THIRTY HOURS!

Man, I thought May would have been a quiet month for Blue Duck Weather. Although this is a labor of love to inform and enlighten you my beak is chipped and worn from pecking away on this Goddamn keyboard!

Once again the Mighty Broadduck and RyDuck are absent from this month’s contributions. But TwinkyDuck prevails as ever with her obscure weather fact for the month. Appropriate for the heat that is upon us her tireless research found this one: “The Urban Heat Island Effect has developed in the Phoenix Metropolitan areas and refers to much warmer temperatures reported in the city vs. the outskirts. The concrete and asphalt retains the heat absorbed by day and releases it is slowly compared to the surrounding deserts. Over the last two decades it has grown so dramatically officials estimate in the next two decades Summers will have temperatures that never drop below one hundred degrees during a twenty four hour period.

Here is an excerpt from the River Horse by your truly. “My old uncle, back in the twenties, fell into a spell of bad times and he finally decided to kill himself , but he wasn’t ever a man to bear pain so well, so he figured on some easy way to join the Lord. One night he was in bed during an electric storm and he saw a tail of smoke come out of light socket and then he knew what he had to do. Over the next week he took a metal bed from the attic up to a bare hill. The next stormy night he went up to that bed and laid down on it. His plan was for lightning to strike the bed’s arm posts and electrify him. He said it thundered and flashed for two hours and the bed posts shuck but nothing struck his bed. So he went home and got into his own bed and had the best night’s sleep in months. The next day he got up and figured the Lord didn’t want him yet so, he went about his business and lived to be eighty eight.

The song of the month is “Molly’s Blues by Charlie Robison. It is about Nashville burning down. It could just have easily been about Nashville drowning.

So my fine feathered friends when your coat is covered and your eyes are sealed with oil and you cannot move and the sun is half baking you into a rot remember Pioneers took bullets, Settlers took land. Wasn’t that the beginning of this mess we call progress?

The Distinguished, Honorable, saddened MR BlueDuck